leave this sad place

Chapter 39 The beginning of pain

The lost sigh trembled and wailed in the wind.

The bare tree trunks were also silent without words.

Whose desolation will deduce whose vicissitudes?
Words can't express Ouyang's heart!

Walking on the road step by step, my heart became heavier and heavier.

"Is it really over?" he asked himself.

"Are you really going to start over again?" He asked himself again.

Looking up at the sky, the blue sky seems to be soaked by sea water, so blue, so high.He read softly: "But why? I am so reluctant to part with her?"

He clutched his chest with his right hand, feeling that an invisible awl was piercing into his flesh little by little, and then into his heart little by little, the pain was so painful that he couldn't breathe!

His brows were tightly furrowed, big and round sweat oozing from his forehead like spring water, his face was so pale and frightening!He squatted down slowly, his frowning eyebrows gradually relaxed, and the pain eased slightly, but it was still painful!

"Why is this happening?" He murmured, his eyes filled with deep puzzlement.

"Why?" He raised his head and continued to look at the sky.It seems to be questioning, and it seems to be crying weakly!

"I really want to yell, I really want to cry—" His eyes were filled with deep sorrow again, and he continued softly: "But I won't, never again!"

He stood up, feeling a faint pain in his chest from time to time, he clenched his teeth, the corners of his mouth twitched slightly, his gaze as deep as a starry sky was full of loneliness.

He walked back to the bedroom step by step, sat quietly on the bed, thinking carefully.

What have you done in the past two or three months?

But the more I think about it, the more sad I feel. The hard work during this period has brought me such a harvest—if that is still a harvest.

Thinking about it again, it seems that there will be a final exam soon, but there are still many things that I haven't understood yet.Ouyang sighed slightly again.

"Alright, let's take the exam. After the exam, you don't need to stay in this place anymore." He comforted himself softly, and there was another faint stabbing pain in his heart.

He couldn't help but miss her again, wanted to call her, send her a text message, and wanted to know what was going on with her now.But he didn't allow himself to call her or send text messages, because he decided to let himself gradually get used to the life without her.

"Maybe this winter vacation is the best time to forget her." He murmured, full of anticipation for the upcoming winter vacation.It seems that when the winter vacation arrives, all the pain will end naturally.

Suddenly, he felt a little lonely again. Without her, what would he have left?
friend?He couldn't help thinking of Li Ting.But since that misunderstanding, he never interacted with him much again.So who else?Faintly, he thought of Sun Xiaohong, but he no longer liked her, and no longer had that attachment to her, and now even he himself didn't know how to face her.So who else?Jie'er, his heart became complicated again, the girl who made him feel pity and love, and made him feel really happy when he saw her.How can I bring her sadness?

He secretly shook his head and smiled wryly.If you think about it again, who else would it be?But where is a true friend?
What about relatives?There was a deep sadness in his eyes very naturally.Is it father?Or mother?He didn't want to think about it anymore, he didn't dare to think about it anymore, for fear that he couldn't help but shed tears again.What about grandparents?The corner of his mouth showed a wry smile again unconsciously.From when he was very young to now, the two old people are still like that-often noisy at home.That home made him never want to go back!Gradually, he thought of Xiaolan again—the sister who was not his own sister.He finally felt a little comfort in his heart.

Maybe there's her too.

Fortunately, there is her, otherwise he will feel even more lonely.

Ouyang looked out of the window and became sad alone.

"Maybe everything will really start again?" He couldn't help asking himself again.

The setting sun in the distance sets reluctantly, and it must have brought many souvenirs after walking in this bustling world.

"What else is there on the other side of the sky? Mountains? Water? Or the boundless land?" Ouyang felt a little burning emotion in his heart, but looking at the gradually sinking sunset, his eyes became dim again up.

"It's inevitable in the end—it's not death." There was a hint of mockery at the corner of his mouth, looking at the sky that was half-stained red by the setting sun.

The night gradually opened the curtain.The curved crescent moon exuded a deserted light, which made him feel a little strange.He looked up at the entire night sky, and looked around again, but he didn't find a familiar star!

A little sadness rose in his heart again, and he felt a little lonely.

Under the night, Xiao Chong'er laughed unscrupulously.Ouyang's heart became even sadder. He looked at the rows of shadowy trees outside the window, and felt that they were also laughing at him.

Ouji became extremely uncomfortable, feeling that there were countless pairs of eyes staring at him in the night, laughing at him.It seemed that there were bursts of weird ridicules in my ears.

He panicked unconsciously in his heart, wondering why all of this was happening?
He kept reassuring himself that this was an illusion, it was just his own imagination.But he still couldn't help but look around secretly, as if he could catch the snickerer in this way.

His heart became more and more chaotic, and he became more and more panicked.

Suddenly, I felt that everything around him was surrounding him and laughing at him.He turned around in a panic, and vaguely saw countless smiling faces mocking him.This made him even more at a loss.

His heart was already in a mess, and he was spinning around and around in utter anxiety.Gradually, he felt a little dizzy, and gradually, he fell on the bed, muttering incessantly: "Why? Why?..."

His eyes became very dim, he could hardly see any light, and his face was full of misery.

Suddenly, he laughed out loud, so abrupt!So weird!Just like a madman.

Smiling and laughing, tears actually appeared in his eyes, his face was full of sadness.

His heart became extremely lonely again.

At this time, how many people can really understand him?

He quietly walked to the window, and looked at the starless night sky again, it was quiet.

Loneliness grows and spreads in my heart like weeds.

He collected himself, and said in that sad voice:

Dark night, what are you talking about?
Why can't I hear anything?

Star, where have you all gone?

Why can't I find anything?

what about me

where am i

why my side
only darkness
endless darkness

His face was full of sadness, and he felt very sad in his heart.

Without even thinking about it, he chose a name for this new poem - "Lonely".

It seemed that the boundless darkness slowly submerged his heart.

His heart sank again and again.

"Did everything really start again?" He murmured again, but there were tears in his eyes.

Although she was gone, he still couldn't forget her.

So does everything really start all over again?

In fact, he knew it, and it must be the clearest in his heart!
(End of this chapter)