Jiapingguan Chronicle

Jin Miaomiao looked at this one, then at that one, and gently shook her head.

"What's wrong?" Xia Chen tilted his head to look at her. "What came to mind?"

"It's nothing, it's just that I can't agree with what they did."

"But you understand, right?"

“Yes, it’s understandable, but ultimately unacceptable.” Jin Miaomiao sighed and spread her hands towards Shen Cha. “Look, by jumping like that, they’ve freed themselves, freed themselves from all pain and pressure, but they’ve left all that pain to the living, to their dearest loved ones, right?”

“Yes!” Shen Cha nodded. “A devastating blow.”

“Yes, their families will be consumed by endless regret for the rest of their lives because of this act. It was the pressure from their families that they couldn't bear, leading them to choose this extreme.” Jin Miaomiao sighed. “This pain isn't short-term; it's a pain they can never escape.” She spread her hands. “Didn't you ever think about these things?”

“They probably haven’t thought about it.” Shen Cha raised an eyebrow at Jin Miaomiao. “When you’re caught up in an obsession, you won’t consider these things.”

"No, actually I'm considering it."

"Oh? You've thought about continuing to do this? Why?"

"Actually, the biggest source of their suffering boils down to one word: poverty." Xia Chen distributed the second batch of grilled fish to everyone, then placed the prepared shrimp on his grill. Looking at Third Grandfather, he said, "Those who jumped off the back mountain were all from poor families, right?"

"Yes!" Third Grandfather nodded. "The family wasn't well-off, but his studies were quite good; he was generally in the middle to upper range."

“People like them have extremely high standards for themselves. Being above average is considered unacceptable to them; they haven't met their own expectations, nor their family's, which causes them great pain. They know very well that being able to study at such a good academy is the result of their families scrimping and saving. Their parents, younger siblings, or older siblings might not have enough to eat or wear, and their lives are extremely difficult. Since they can't meet their expectations, they think it's better to end it quickly than to suffer for a long time. Once they're out of this bottomless pit, their families will have an easier time, and their loved ones won't be in so much pain.” Xia Chen looked at Jin Miaomiao. “You have to admit, this is one of the most important reasons they take their own lives.”

“That’s true, and it’s a very important reason. But…” Jin Miaomiao thought for a moment, “For students from families with similar circumstances, hasn’t the academy already reduced or waived their tuition fees? They’ve even provided them with considerable subsidies, so why are they still…”

"Actually, this kind of pressure is even greater than what you'd be supported at home," Xia Chen rolled her eyes. "They think accepting donations from others is a kind of..."

“A disgrace,” the Third Master added. “I don’t know about you, but I just can’t understand why they would rather suffer for their families than accept the academy’s kindness or the Yun family’s gifts.”

“I knew before that scholars were people of integrity and dignity, but I never expected this to be so outrageous,” Jin Miaomiao said with a wry smile.

“It is indeed outrageous.” Xia Chen nodded. “What’s even more outrageous is that after they passed the academy examination and became students, their tuition and fees were to be covered by the local government. But many people did not accept this and thought it was a scam.”

“Yes, the Liao Kingdom is the same.” Third Grandfather looked at Xiao Fengqi and Qi Zhifeng, who were nodding repeatedly. “They think that exempting them from tuition is an insult to them. Then, some people even think they want to use them, for example, if they achieve good results in the imperial examinations or become officials, they will use that to blackmail them for repayment.” He spread his hands. “There are quite a few people like this.” “These kinds of people have extremely strong self-esteem.” Xiao Fengqi nodded. “Not only that, they are also very competitive.”

“That’s right.” Third Grandfather nodded, looked at Xue Mu’s grill, took the cooked meat off the grill, handed it to Merlin next to him, and said, “Distribute it to everyone.”

Merlin responded and carried the plate to put the roasted meat on each person's plate.

"Uncle, you seem quite moved by this. Did you witness it at the Yun family's residence?"

“I’ve witnessed it.” Third Grandfather nodded. “I have a very deep impression of that time. I personally witnessed the collapse of so-called outstanding students.”

"You saw them jump?"

"He didn't manage to jump; he was rescued." Third Grandfather sighed. "That was the second day after my master, senior brother, and I returned to the Yun family. My master took the two of us to Yunshan Academy, saying he wanted to see the children. But as soon as we arrived at the entrance of Yunshan Academy, we heard a series of shouts coming from inside; it was very chaotic."

"Has someone been spotted attempting to jump off a mountain?"

“Yes.” Third Grandfather nodded. “Yunshan Academy isn’t actually located at the main Yun family residence. It takes about the time it takes to drink a cup of tea to get there by carriage. We left the Yun family residence around the time we finished breakfast. By the time we arrived at Yunshan Academy, their morning classes were already over. Then we discovered that a student had run to the back mountain. Because some students had jumped off the back mountain before, Yun family guards had been stationed there to patrol for safety. This student was stopped by the guards. They stopped him, but he completely broke down and started crying loudly, his cries were earth-shattering. It was the first time I realized that such a small, thin person could have such a lot of energy.”

"But why couldn't he think straight?"

“Because of the assessment that just ended, he felt like he hadn’t been assessed at all.” Third Grandfather spread his hands. “After listening to his story, I couldn’t empathize with him. He was among the top performers in this assessment, a significant improvement over his last one. Only two children from the Yun family were slightly better than him. As a result, he felt uncomfortable because those two children from the Yun family were better than him. The more he thought about it, the more upset and aggrieved he felt.”

"You're stuck in this vicious cycle, unable to get out, right?"

“Yes!” Third Grandfather took a sip of tea, took the plate of shrimp Xia Chen handed him, wiped his hands clean, and slowly began to peel the shrimp. “But what I can’t understand is, it’s normal for him to compare himself with himself and other students who are also taking the imperial examinations, but what’s the point of comparing himself with the Yun family? What’s the significance of it?”

“That’s right!” Jin Miaomiao nodded. “Anyone from the Yun family, whether near or far, as long as they are still a member of the Yun family and haven’t separated from the family, cannot participate in the imperial examination. What’s the point of comparing them?”

“That’s right, but he won’t admit it. He can’t accept that anyone can do better than him.” The third grandfather was very helpless. “Later, he cried and shouted until he was exhausted and fainted. My master told the headmaster to find a few people to watch over him so that he wouldn’t try to kill himself again when he woke up.”

"Actually," Shen Cha took the peeled shrimp from Jin Miaomiao, picked out a pleasing one, and chewed it, "since you know they're like this, didn't you consider separating the Yun family's children from those who need to take the imperial examinations?" (End of Chapter)