Cyber ​​Heroes

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The day before yesterday, I just said one sentence and stopped updating. I am very embarrassed, so I will report my recent situation here.

It has become increasingly difficult for me to write in the past three years.I have a detailed outline, and I know what to write and what to write. Many plots are decided very early.But some kind of psychological factor made my mind go blank as soon as I opened Word, and I was even so stressed that I felt nauseous.It wasn't until I really vomited out after sitting for more than ten hours the day before yesterday that I realized that I was really not good enough.It was only when I went to the hospital for a diagnosis that I found out that I was prone to depression and anxiety.

Fortunately, it is not serious.

Under the guidance of the doctor, I did some reflection.I wrote three years ago that "fantasy" is a layer of "eggshell", wrapped on the fragile spirit, providing an environment for the growth of the weak self-this is "fairy tale", "virtual" and "fantasy story" The meaning of existence.I have always thought so. For me, "creating fantasy themes" is a process of building barriers.

But this book is a little different.It's not pure fantasy.It started out as my resentment and dissatisfaction with the history of modern magic.You should understand by looking at Chapter 1 related to the work.Three years ago I was full of resentment.But the mood couldn't last three years.

"Fantasy" is a very strange thing.You have to pretend to believe it for maximum enjoyment.If you really believe it, it won't be fun.For example, I can pretend to believe that there is a poor creature named "Mongothe", who is spurned but longs to love, and has a strong and good skill in fast and slow swordsmanship and infinite swords - and then enjoy the joy of hunting him sense of accomplishment.But if I believe that there is such a person in the world, then when I take the knife, I don't feel a pure sense of accomplishment in my heart.

Because you're just pretending to believe, you can break out of your shell at any time.As long as you are strong enough.

But "Catharsis" is different again.If you don't believe it's real, it's meaningless for you to export to the fake, and you feel boring.

Therefore, if the "eggshell" is used as a metaphor, "Cyber ​​Heroes" is abnormal.It is cracked.

At the same time, it's been too long, I've been on it for three years.But again, it is my source of livelihood.

I had to force myself to write, and the more I wrote, the more I suffered, and at the same time, the slower I wrote, the more I fell into a vicious circle.But the pressure of survival made me unable to stop.

I have to reflect.

Of course, I didn't intend to eunuch this book.I love creation very much, and at the same time I poured a lot of emotion into this book.For a short period of time, the illness made it impossible for me to continue to torture myself.I'll take a few days off to see the effect.Maybe I will create some highly fantasy-themed works for self-healing, or maybe I will choose to double-publish one book in the future and do it alternately.

Of course, I will take two days off now.