National Tide 1980.

The connections between people are always full of unexpected variables, and they always exceed everyone's expectations.

What you might think is a chance encounter could become a deep and unforgettable connection in your heart.

What you perceive as a sincere and devoted relationship may have already sown the seeds of a gradual drifting apart.

Just like Ning Weimin and Qu Xiao's reunion in Hong Kong, what was thought to be a restrained and dignified farewell ultimately turned into a journey with heavy hearts, as they boarded a flight to France.

That affection, hidden within the bounds of propriety, ultimately could not withstand the barriers of distance and the constraints of morality and ethics.

The direction of this destiny is never controlled by those who experience the emotions firsthand.

Coincidentally, Xiao Tao, who stayed in Beijing, and Sang Jing, who was studying in the United States, were also deeply entangled in their own love-hate relationship.

Xiao Tao originally thought that with her sincere efforts, she could maintain her love with Sang Jing, who was thousands of miles away.

He still had a sliver of hope that by giving his all, he might be able to move her and wait for Sang Jing's return.

Little did they know that Sang Jing's departure a year and a half earlier was already a foreshadowing of fate.

…………

The real test began the moment Sang Jing set foot on American soil.

At that time, American university campuses were dazzling and dizzying for a girl who had just come from China.

Skyscrapers, lawns, libraries, a free and open atmosphere, English slogans everywhere, and blond-haired, blue-eyed young people constituted the world she had only seen in magazines and movies before.

Sang Jing, who had just enrolled, was enjoying the fresh and romantic study abroad experience that she had longed for in China.

However, he has not been completely assimilated into American life, and still retains some of the naiveté and composure he brought from China.

During that period, her life was simple and pure. Apart from attending classes, adapting to the language, and getting familiar with the campus, she devoted all her remaining thoughts to missing her family and Xiao Tao.

On days when she wasn't working at the school cafeteria, she would usually walk alone on the leaf-strewn paths of the campus in the evening, watching the sunset slowly descend.

A gust of wind blew, causing the textbooks she was holding to turn gently. She walked back and forth, her mind filled with images of her time with Xiao Tao in the capital.

The Shichahai ice rink in the snow, the deep gaze between them in the Xidan Changong Cafe, Xiao Tao's generous yet earnest way of paying, and his silent yet resolute look when he brought her US dollars.

Although it wasn't her first love, it was the most touching romance she had ever experienced.

It was Xiao Tao who gently plucked the string of love in her heart, allowing her to experience for the first time the feeling of being cherished and loved unconditionally.

Physically and psychologically, she belonged to him completely.

During that time, she missed Xiao Tao, who was far away in Beijing, even more than her own parents and relatives.

Here, besides longing, she also learned independence, how to watch over others, and how to be alone.

When she was lonely, she couldn't help but think regretfully, "If Xiao Tao could be by my side right now, how wonderful that would be."

With him around, the campus will never feel empty, no matter how big it is, and the nights will never feel cold, no matter how long they are.

Unfortunately, Xiao Tao isn't here.

He was in the incredibly backward capital city, thousands of miles away, in a country she was finding increasingly uninteresting.

In the dormitory, it was late at night and all her roommates were asleep.

Sang Jing, covered by the blanket, turned on the small desk lamp. The faint but warm light illuminated the handwriting she was writing to Xiao Tao.

The letter was full of longing, concern, and "I miss you," "Wait for me," and "Take care of yourself."

Every word and phrase is imbued with a genuine sincerity that has not been diluted by the environment.

For Xiao Tao, who was far away in Beijing, every time she received a letter from Sang Jing, it felt like she was holding the most precious thing in the world.

He was busy with the taxi company, managing the tricycle drivers, and doing the things Ning Weimin had assigned him during the day, and he was exhausted. But as soon as he saw Sang Jing's letter, all his fatigue disappeared.

He wrote back carefully under the lamp. Even though his literacy was limited, he would look up words in the dictionary and write several pages at a time. Often, before he knew it, it was already getting light outside the window.

He wrote down all his longing, worries, and concerns, then carefully folded it, put it in an envelope, affixed enough stamps, and went to sleep with a heart full of sweetness.

The longing in a long-distance relationship is inherently sweeter.

But they also began to argue, remain silent, and avoid each other in their letters about trivial matters.

Sang Jing hopes that Xiao Tao can learn more, that he can keep up with her vision, and that he will not just "drive and do business".

Xiao Tao hopes that Sang Jing will finish her studies soon, return home, marry him, and live a peaceful life together, without being blinded by the outside world.

Neither of them said it aloud, but that invisible chasm was undeniably and quietly lying between them.

Moreover, no one expected that the power of time would be so ruthless, that the environment would have such a great influence on people, and that love would fade so quickly.

In less than a year, Sang Jing underwent an astonishing transformation, both inside and out.

First of all, in terms of appearance, she is no longer the pure and simple female college student from the Republic she once was.

She cut off her old hairstyle and got a perm, which was the most popular style in America at the time.

I've learned to use purple eyeshadow and shimmery lipstick to enhance my sex appeal.

The loose-fitting clothes I used to like have been replaced by figure-hugging knitwear and denim skirts.

Flat shoes have been replaced with small high heels.

When talking to classmates of Chinese descent, I always unconsciously mix Chinese and English.

Walking on the street, she was no different from the other Chinese students around her; in fact, she stood out even more on campus.

In 1991, America was open, confident, and materially abundant. Everything seemed to be telling her that she deserved a better life, a more exciting life, and a different kind of love.

Sang Jing had originally planned with Xiao Tao to go back to China for the winter holiday.

She had made it very clear in her letter, and Xiao Tao replied excitedly, saying he would pick her up at the airport and give her the most enthusiastic welcome.

In the end, Sang Jing still couldn't go back.

The reason is simple: she doesn't want to go back; she's changed her mind.

It was because a female classmate from a wealthy family invited her to spend Christmas at her family's estate.

In short, the American learning environment, social activities, new social circles, and ubiquitous modern lifestyle completely captivated her.

She signed up for as many activities, clubs, and parties as possible, and was surrounded by a group of stylish and open-minded Chinese and Asian classmates.

They talked about American culture, music, movies, freedom of love, and life choices. Every word they said subtly changed Sang Jing's worldview.

Beijing? Within the country?
She felt increasingly unfamiliar, distant, and even a bit "rustic".

She had grown accustomed to the city's prosperity, freedom, convenience, and glamour.

She was already deeply resistant to the idea of ​​returning to that kind of environment.

Her longing for Xiao Tao was gradually fading.

The love poems that used to take several pages to write gradually became just one or two pages.

Later on, even a page or two seemed like a stretch.

The content of the letters is becoming increasingly formulaic.

"I'm very busy with my studies."

"I've been very tired from work lately."

Take care of yourself.

I won't write anymore.

The once passionate words have gradually grown cold.

She and Xiao Tao had less and less in common.

What initially attracted her to Xiao Tao was his uninhibited masculinity, his loyalty, his boldness, and his fearless vitality stemming from his humble beginnings.

But now, she is surrounded by well-educated, articulate, and fashionable young people.

She herself had long been influenced by the environment to be like a real American student.

Xiao Tao's weight in her heart had unknowingly lightened.

It was so light that she herself dared not admit it.

Soon, she, like the other girls, began to quietly gossip about the most popular figures on campus.

The most dazzling of them all was the school's sports star—a white boy.

He was tall, sunny, and had a bright smile; whenever he stepped onto the basketball court, all the girls would scream. He was the center of attention on campus—confident, free-spirited, and uninhibited, embodying the unique exuberance and passion of American youth.

After the dormitory lights were turned off at night, the girls lay in their beds, all talking about him.

"He played so well yesterday."

"I heard that a lot of girls wrote him notes."

"He has a really handsome smile."

"When do you think he and his current girlfriend will break up?"

Initially, Sang Jing did not participate in these topics.

When others were talking about it, she would silently think of Xiao Tao in her heart, and even subconsciously compare Xiao Tao with that white boy.

Despite comparing them repeatedly, she still stubbornly clings to her belief.

Xiao Tao is more reliable, more caring, and more genuine.

But change happens silently.

One day, by chance, a basketball flew off the court and she picked it up, which made the white boy start to notice her.

After that, glances in the classroom, smiles during chance encounters, greetings at parties, a few casual words of conversation...

Everything was so natural, yet so breathtaking.

Sang Jing began to panic, to feel flustered, and to become involuntarily concerned.

For the first time, she experienced a different kind of heartbeat—not being cherished, cared for, or held in the palm of someone's hand, but being attracted, appreciated, and inspired.

That feeling—fresh, exciting, and romantic—was like a gust of wind that stirred up her already settled heart.

She has changed significantly again.

His hairstyle changed, his clothes changed, his speech changed, and his eyes changed.

The innocent girl from the mainland has completely transformed into a dazzling girl on campus.

And her attitude towards Xiao Tao has completely changed.

In the past, whenever Xiao Tao sent a letter, she would rush over to get it immediately and eagerly open it.

Now, when she sees a letter, she hesitates, avoids it, and feels guilty.

On Xiao Tao's envelope, his domestic address, city, street, and identity were clearly written.

To other international students, it seemed so "out of touch" and "out of place".

Sang Jing actually started to feel... a little embarrassed.

She was startled when the thought crossed her mind.

But she couldn't suppress it.

She was no longer in a hurry to reply.

No more writing pages under the covers.

No longer are all words filled with longing.

The replies are getting shorter, more perfunctory, and colder.

"I'm busy with my studies."

I won't write anymore.

Take care.

The longing that once kept her up at night has now left her numb.

Xiao Tao's letter was still burning hot.

He continued to care for her, encourage her, wait for her, and long for her in his letters.

He said, "If you don't have enough money, just say so, and I'll send it to you."

He told me to take care of my health while I'm away and not to overwork myself.

He said, "I bought a three-bedroom apartment on Nanlishi Road, not far from your home. I'll wait for you to come back and see if you like it."
He said, "I miss you so much, could you send me a photo?"
Looking at those words, Sang Jing couldn't help but feel sad.

But she can never go back.

Life in America is too good, too free, too glamorous.

The new guy was too dazzling, too romantic, and too captivating.

She has embarked on a path from which there is no turning back.

She finally understood—

She no longer fell in love with Xiao Tao, who was waiting for her in the capital.

What she fell in love with was this brand new world and a brand new version of herself.

But Xiao Tao is still stuck in the very, very distant past.

So far away that if she reached out, she could no longer touch it.

As for Xiao Tao, although she was infatuated, she wasn't stupid.

The once tender and affectionate words have now been reduced to just a few words, spoken with the indifference of someone treating a mere friend. How could he not sense this change?

He clutched Sang Jing's increasingly shorter and colder letter in his hand, his heart sinking lower and lower.

During the day, he puts on a brave face at the company and car factory, acting decisively and efficiently, just like a typical small business owner.

But when he returned home at night and looked at the rooftop smoking, he was enveloped by a sense of loss and unease.

At first, he didn't want to think the worst, and he was even less willing to admit that Sang Jing's heart was slowly drifting away from him.

He consistently defended the other party from his own perspective.

She was just too busy with her studies, too stressed to adjust to life in the US, and had no time to reply to his letters.

Or when replying, there isn't much time to discuss things like love and romance.

He repeatedly reassured himself, almost as if in hypnosis.

She continued to write letters to Sang Jing with the same enthusiasm as always, her letters filled with longing and love.

To make things easier for Sang Jing abroad, so she wouldn't have to worry about money or work hard, Xiao Tao even exchanged another two thousand US dollars and managed to wire it to her.

In his postscript, he still wrote gently and clumsily, "Take this money, use it with peace of mind, don't be stingy, and don't work too hard. Study hard and take good care of yourself. I'm waiting for you."

However, his persistent efforts in matters of love only resulted in the other person gradually becoming indifferent.

There was absolutely no response from the other party.

How can anyone accept this?

For half a month, Xiao Tao not only did not receive another letter from Sang Jing, but she also could not reach Sang Jing by calling her dormitory via international long distance.

He couldn't believe it was real.

No one could understand this feeling. Xiao Tao felt bitter and astringent, but he didn't even have anyone to confide in.

All I could do was swallow all my grievances, anxieties, longing, and pain.

He didn't expect any promises from Sang Jing, nor did he believe that this amount of money could secure their relationship. But at least she should let him know that she had indeed received the money.

He couldn't understand why Sang Jing would have such an attitude.

However, to be fair, Sang Jing, who was far away in the United States, was also touched when she received the money and text message from Xiao Tao.

In fact, this large remittance, which was not originally expected, did fill her with a strong sense of guilt and gratitude.

Of course she knew that this money was hard-earned by Xiao Tao through his hard work in managing his business.

It was his sincere heart, which he had saved up and was willing to offer to her wholeheartedly.

No matter how much money Xiao Tao can make, the domestic environment cannot compare with that of the United States.

But this sincerity was too heavy, too burdensome, and too suffocating and frightening for her.

She held the letter, pen and ink in hand, remaining silent for a long time before finally letting out a soft sigh and putting the pen down. (End of Chapter)