Jiayou fun things

Chapter 966 Xiong Zun
"They're all idiots!"

"Quante's mother is an idiot...a stupid idiot...fortunately, it's not my son, otherwise I will be pissed off by them!"

Yuncha Ridge, the core area, is the holy peak of the sky.

The mountain is majestic, like a black lacquered steel gun, piercing straight into the sky. The height of the mountain is nearly a million miles, and the mountains on all sides are like cutting. Eagles and the like make their nests on the branches of the trees. Occasionally, when an eagle crows, the whole field is startled into silence, and no birds or animals make a sound.

On the east side of Chutian Peak, on the smooth and clean cliff like a knife, I don't know who is a big hand, with a huge font, wrote a very bright cinnabar red big "stamp" character!

The word "stamp" is extremely powerful, and it looks like flying dragons and phoenixes if it sounds nice, or like a chicken paw convulsing... From the top of the mountain to the foot of the mountain, a large character that is a million miles long is domineering and fierce, like A spear shot straight from the foot of the mountain to the sky.

At the top of the word "stamp", near the top of the Chitian Peak, there is a Pingba hanging high in the clouds. On the Pingba with a radius of more than [-] mu, there are ancient pines, Qilan, two waterfalls, and a small spring.At the end of Pingba is a well-decorated circular arched entrance. On the cliffs on both sides, there are carved Buddhist reliefs such as celestial maidens presenting flowers, Bodhisattvas preaching scriptures, Buddha lying on his side, and Arhats shaking their fists.

Early in the morning, accompanied by the constant swearing of 'fools', the master of Yunchaling, the supreme leader among trillions of demons and goblins, the old black who is known as the Big Bear, scratched his forehead, shaking his big belly in a 'grumble', He walked out of the cave slowly.

He walked all the way to the edge of Pingba, looked down at the sea of ​​clouds condescendingly, squinted his eyes at the looming half of the red sun on the edge of the sea of ​​clouds to the east, pulled down his belt casually, revealing an extremely majestic indecent thing, and blew the bell. whistle.

'Chiliu', a yellow hot spring spouted tens of miles away, like a cloud-piercing arrow, piercing through patches of thick clouds along the way, turning into a drizzle with a peculiar smell, slowly walking along the road. The mountain wind blows down.

The thin water mist filled the air, and the red sun that had just poked out his face shone on the water mist, and immediately spread a few circles of small rainbows.

The body trembled for a while, and then trembled again, Lao Hei muttered a few times, grabbed the big fat belly on his belly, took out two fat lice and crushed them to death with a 'click': "Fat water! Don't let outsiders go! A little thing that is fattened by the essence and blood of my own body!"

He casually stuffed the two crushed lice into his mouth, chewed them twice and swallowed them.

A few voluptuous vixens twisted the waist of the water snake, came up laughingly, picked up the bucket, drew water from the spring on Pingba, and poured it on the body of Old Hei.

Old Hei opened his arms, letting a few vixen get his hair wet, and then applied the top-quality balm soap imported from outside the mountain, rubbing thick and delicate white foam on his body.

After such a toss, buckets of clear water were poured down, washing away all the hair on his body.A few vixens combed Lao Hei's hair with fine combs, and then smeared the long black hair with top-quality sesame oil, making his two-foot-long black hair shiny like a mirror.

A huge standing mirror was carried over by a few demons, and it was placed next to Lao Hei.

Lao Hei looked at his own figure in the big mirror for a while, and nodded with satisfaction: "Well, Buddhist disciples, you should have a dignified appearance, and those sloppy monks are not decent monks... Although I am not a serious Buddhist disciple, You can dress up better, but you should be more clean... Otherwise, if you go to the front mountain to beg for some fragrant cakes and fruits, you will be croaked!"

Several little vixens brought a complete set of armor, battle robes, belts and so on.

Put on the battle robe embroidered with red brocade and hundreds of flowers, put on the thick Suanni Tunkou serial barbarian king armor, tie the big belt with the gluttonous mouth animal pattern, tie a blood-colored flame-patterned cloak, and buckle the incomparably thick big bull horns A gold-plated helmet, a large sawtoothed bone-cutting scimitar hung on the left waist, and a two-handed epee with a door panel and wind-breaking wind hung on the right waist, and he took the one carried by several little demons "Heng Chi Hum Chi" Six feet four feet ventilated point steel gun.

Lao Hei raised his spear, stomped his feet vigorously, and yelled 'Wow!

"Yunchaling Town God, the black-faced handsome gentleman, Lao Hei is here...you guys from the Heavenly Court, who would dare to fight me?"

The red sun is silent.

The sky is silent.

Flowing clouds are silent.

Lao Hei waved his long spear, rolled up thousands of miles, and swept away the thick clouds around the Chi Tian Peak.He pushed his hips forward hard, and roared 'Wow!': "Oh, my child in the early days, I'm fucking your mother!"

Flowing clouds are silent.

The sky is silent.

The red sun is silent.

Lao Hei was silent for a while, then dropped his long spear, untied the big scimitar and heavy sword hanging from his belt, untied his heavy belt and armor, took off his cloak, and dropped the mighty gilt helmet on his head, and put his hands behind his back like a The old man in his dying years walked towards the cave at the end of Pingba step by step with his waist bent.

While walking, he randomly unbuttoned the red brocade and hundred-flowers shirt, revealing his shiny black hair.

"Command down, let's serve dinner!" Lao Hei murmured, "Send a letter to that old fellow Hanhai, play and fight, just teach him a lesson, don't really piss off Taichu, he will do his best Hit us at Yuncha Ridge..."

"I'm not afraid, but the sons and daughters under my command are also born and raised by parents...there are too many deaths and injuries, which undermines the original intention of my Buddhist compassion!"

"It's okay, don't fight and kill, why bother? Why bother?"

"Take it easy, take it easy..." Lao Hei walked into his cave slowly with heavy steps.

In the huge cave, the furnishings are quite simple, and it can even be said to be a bit shabby.The cave is extremely open and bright, high-rise, and the cave wall is made of a material between stalactites and beautiful jade. It is crystal clear and translucent, and there is bright light lingering inside. It does not need lamp beads, and it is naturally visible.

On the cave wall, huge niches are neatly carved, in which are enshrined statues of Buddha, Bodhisattva, Heavenly King and Arhat with graceful ecology.Next to each statue, there is a nameplate, which records the life history of these statues in small handwriting.

For example, who was the abbot of the ancient temple of Landa, "a so-and-so monk", in which year was he born, in which year did he die, what great achievements he made in his life, etc...

In front of these statues, there are incense burners, flowers, melons and fruits, vegetarian wine, and all kinds of offerings.

Lao Hei walked slowly in front of these altars.

Along the way, there are many clever little white apes dressed as novice monks, and they are busy offering incense to the statues in these altars and changing various offerings.Seeing Lao Hei walking by, these little white apes put their hands together in a hurry, saluted Lao Hei in a dignified manner, and recited the mantra of the Buddha's name.

Lao Hei walked slowly into the depths of the cave, and came to a huge stone hall that could accommodate tens of thousands of people.

He sat on the back of a huge stone table, and a group of little vixens brought water, wild fruits, steamed buns, and small pickles made by himself.

As the leader of Yunchaling, there are trillions of powerful demons under his command at his disposal.

But for Old Hei, the breakfast is extremely light.

Putting his palms together, muttering a few gatha in a low voice, Lao Hei began to enjoy the meals slowly.He is more than three feet tall, with big arms and round waist, and is covered with fat, but his appetite is very bad.With such a huge body, he just drank a few bowls of water, ate a dozen apples and pears, ate more than two dozen steamed buns made of miscellaneous grains, used a bucket of millet porridge, and ate three plates of small pickles. He waved his hand and asked someone to remove the meal.

"Bring the ledger!" Old Hei muttered.

A bewitching and enchanting vixen with a ninety-ninety good looks and charm, like a ripe wild peony, came up quietly, and took a thick, specially-made book of both length and width. The large ledger with a length of one zhang was slapped in front of Lao Hei with a 'bang'.

Lao Hei's thick fingers were slobbered at the corner of his mouth, and he opened the huge ledger with some difficulty, frowning as he looked at the rows of exquisite small characters on it.

"Hey, Black Wind King is a fool."

"Heiyun baby, you are also stupid."

"It's okay, it's okay, none of them are my own, they are all godsons, godsons..." Old Hei murmured: "Otherwise, I will be pissed off by them, I will be pissed off by them...not my own. , not biological... Lao Tzu is a Buddhist disciple who abides by the precepts, so there is no such thing as a biological son!"

"Hey!" Looking at the densely packed writing on the account book, Old Hei sighed sadly: "I have never been a reader since I was a child. Looking at these things, I get a headache... Hey, I lost a lot, right?"

The vixen who left the ledger rolled his eyes at Old Hei, and began to complain.

"I said, Your Majesty, this is you, you are looking for trouble for yourself if you have nothing to do!"

"Mr. Heiyun won the battle...cough cough." The vixen rolled his eyes as hard as he could: "Although, the record is a bit watery, but the gangsters in the Heavenly Court did not take advantage of it. They said they won a big victory. It’s also plausible.”

"Heifeng King is a brainless idiot, you know. He has always followed Heiyun Lord to flatter him, and it's not once or twice that he did such a thing... Uh, on his territory of Heifengling, he wants to give Lord Heiyun celebrates..."

Old Hei snorted coldly: "Of course you can celebrate, but you have to pay for it!"

"Those who run restaurants and restaurants, their capital, isn't it money? Let the young ones go directly to other people's shops, wantonly take other people's drinks, use other people's food, wine and meat, without giving money?"

"Do this once or twice, do this three times or four times..." Old Hei muttered, "It's bad manners."

The vixen sighed: "Then, it can only be the same as in previous years, you pay the subsidy out of your own pocket..."

Lao Hei scratched his scalp vigorously, and sighed in distress: "Fortunately, it's not his own, otherwise... You say, you say, you took something from someone else, used something from someone else, and you have to give me money... How many times have I taught them this matter? I beat them and scolded them, why do they just not remember what happened every time?"

"Isn't it hard enough?" Old Hei looked at the vixen with wandering eyes: "How about, this time, I find an excuse to beat the Black Wind King again?"

The vixen blinked: "Why don't you just beat him to death?"

Old Hei rolled his eyes: "It's not a big mistake to be beaten to death. It's not a big mistake. It's just to let the little ones eat and drink for free. Although there are mistakes, it won't be beaten to death... Hey, hey, these Thick-skinned rammed goods, if you don't kill them once, you don't remember anything at all!"

After waving his hand, Lao Hei said leisurely: "Let's stick to the old way, send your clansmen, more sophisticated and smarter ones. Those unlucky ghosts who opened the shop were consumed by taking a lot of wine and meat, and they secretly replenished them behind their backs."

"After the little ones have had fun and enjoyed themselves, we still have to manage to bring back the few leaders. They can't really be beaten to death, but they must be beaten to death."

"Yunchaling, we still have to follow the rules."

The vixen was silent for a while, and carefully approached Old Hei: "But, my lord, what happened this time was because of the nephew of the great emperor in the early days... that Yuan Yu..."

Old Hei looked at the vixen in surprise: "What do you want to say? What's good about him, should we reach out?"

Smiling calmly, Old Hei poked the vixen lightly with his finger, directly poking a pimple the size of a goose egg on her forehead. The pain made the vixen tearful, and she rolled her eyes crazily at him.

"Thank you for being so clever!" Lao Hei said indifferently, "Leave him alone and let nature take its course?"

After a slight pause, Lao Hei said softly: "People, they have already arrived on their own territory, what should be urgent is not us, but them!"

"Bullying children, if this kind of thing spreads, it will damage our reputation."

"Let's watch."

"If Yuan Ke is safe and sound on our territory, then it proves that the matter on him is not too involved... The child is making a fuss, and he takes the opportunity to add some trouble to the heaven, that's all. Is it possible that we can count on the cloud Can the Chaling family defeat Heaven? Impossible, absolutely impossible!"

"If Yuan Ke is on our territory, there will be a big mistake!"

Lao Hei's thick fingers pressed hard on the vixen's delicate buttocks, and he said slowly: "I am merciful, so it will be interesting... I, Yunchaling, have a little bit of a bad reputation when I am outside." , being able to force them, regardless of Lao Xiong's face, to attack Yuan Yu on the territory of Yunchaling... the things inside are very interesting."

"Anyway, we won't do it first!" Lao Hei clasped his hands together, and recited the Buddha's mantra devoutly: "We still have to talk about the decency of Buddhist disciples. We don't do it first. But if Yuan Ke is in a hurry, If you came here on your own initiative and hugged our thighs to ask for help, then... we must be merciful!"

The vixen smiled sweetly, pursed her red lips vigorously, and said "baji" on Lao Hei's big face.

"Your Majesty, you really are as wise as you are stupid!"

"Great wisdom and stupidity? Basically, like a fish?" Lao Hei rolled his eyes again: "Does I look like a fish? Hmph, hum... Forget it, let's go to Heifengling... I'll fill the hole for these idiots out of my pocket , this person who eats and drinks too much, always has to eat something to make up for it!"

With a sway of his body, Lao Hei's black hair squirmed for a while, and in the faint light of Buddha, he turned into a sturdy man with a height of eight feet, covered with black charcoal-like lumps all over his body.

"Okay, I'll come to Lao Tzu again if I have something to do!" Lao Hei rushed out of the cave as quickly as lightning on a gust of black wind: "Remember to tell Old Man Han Hai, don't really make a real fire... Acting, it's almost It's done. It really pissed off the child in the early days, and his few fish bones are probably not enough for heaven to tear apart!"

Yaya City.

Carrying a bag of pearls, Lu Bi stood quietly on the square in front of the residence of General Xuncheng.

Beside him, there are shopkeepers of all kinds of shops, each of them twitching, muttering something in a low voice——Different from Lu Yu, a newcomer who has just arrived, many shopkeepers in this square are all operating in this city of Yaya I don't know how many generations, basically they can be regarded as the old aborigines here.

Therefore, they also know what the structure of Yuya City, and even the Heifeng Ridge to which Yuya City belongs.

Lu Bi stood aside and listened intently, but he listened with gusto.

The ordinary general of Yuya City is a mixed-race grizzly spirit... and in Yunchaling, the bear demon is the most expensive.Therefore, although this grizzly spirit is a little weak in cultivation, he has just stepped into the realm of a heavenly general, and his IQ is also a little bit low. It is said that he can't even count to a hundred with his fingers, and he does things upside down. There are some ironic things, but... his position in Yaya City is very stable.

As for the Black Wind Ridge to which Yuya City belongs, its Black Wind King is a relatively pure-blooded black bear spirit with a star-level cultivation base and a bright silver spear in his hand. The reputation of "a handsome bear".

This King Heifeng and General Yuya are a wonderful couple, a perfect couple.

What they like to do most is to hold banquets every now and then, and hold various celebrations—a newly married concubine, and a banquet; a newborn bear cub, and a banquet; a new good weapon, and a banquet; The king on the mountain won the boxing fight and held a banquet...

And once a banquet is held, they will celebrate together.

Their means of celebrating the whole world is very rough and very direct - all the little monsters in the villages under the direct control of Heifeng Dawang on the Heifengling site can freely enter and leave restaurants, restaurants and the like, drinking and eating meat at will ...No money!

According to the scale of the celebration, the little demons may eat and drink freely in these shops for three to five days, or seven or eight days, or simply ten or so days... This expense is not small!

All the year round, once the Black Wind King and General Yuya held a banquet, it would be an unbearable extra expense for the corresponding shopkeepers on their territory!

This time, Lord Heiyun led the army of demons from Yunchaling to fight the Heavenly Court head-on. Have fun for a month!

You can eat and drink as you like for a month without giving money!
Lu Bi looked at the many shopkeepers standing beside him, and couldn't help shaking his head—Lu Bi didn't know any "economic" or "financial" methods, but he at least knew one rule—you have to pay for your meals!
The Black Wind King is so reckless, the economy of these mountain cities and cottages on his territory has not been completely collapsed, and the shopkeepers of various shops can still continue to operate... One, maybe Heyunchaling Doing business is really lucrative; secondly, listening to the inside and outside meaning of these shopkeepers' words, the 'subsidy' behind this is also a credit!

The little demons under his command acted recklessly, eating and drinking at will.

And a certain big shot in Yunchaling would secretly make up for these shopkeepers who suffered losses every time...

Lu Yu rubbed his chin thoughtfully, this Yunchaling is really interesting.

"Hey, shopkeeper Xiaoqian of Qian Hulu, is he here?" A petite little sparrow poked his head out from the gate of the patrolling general's mansion, and shouted loudly: "The general said, shopkeeper Xiaoqian, come in quickly... …What good things have you prepared to present to Lord Heiyun as a congratulatory gift?"

"The general said that this big victory is a great joy for us in Yunchaling."

"It's not a first-class good thing, so don't take it out and lose face!"

"Look at the presence of so many shopkeepers, but they all took out all the good things from the bottom of the box? Tsk tsk!"

Lu Yi responded a few times, smiled, and strode into the Xuncheng General's Mansion with his pockets in his hands. Under the leadership of Sparrow Jing, he walked all the way through the rough and spacious square in front of the mansion, and came directly to the main hall of Xuncheng General's Mansion. .

A huge grizzly bear sat behind a black koan with a big belly, drooling, looking at several fist-sized red and sapphires stacked in front of it.

These few gems, in Lu's eyes, don't have any Dao rhyme or inspiration, but they are big in size, very clear in quality, well carved, and extremely radiant.

In the world of mortals, these gems are priceless.

But in the cultivation world, these gems are really meaningless... They can't be eaten or used, they're just for decoration.

But this grizzly bear is obviously not on the same level of aesthetics.

Almost all of him lay on these precious stones, his eyes sparkling, the corners of his mouth drooling, his whole body was trembling with joy, and from time to time he let out a strange laugh of 'hehehe': "Hey, listen to your majesty, you can eat enough …For these treasures, [-]% goes to Heiyun-jun, [-]% goes to the king, and [-]% goes to myself... Oh, it’s really rich, rich!”

The corner of Lu Qi's mouth twitched?

what?
Mr. Heiyun can only get [-]%?

In the name of celebrating Heiyunjun, he made such a big scene, but Heiyunjun can only get [-]%?
You, General Yuya, and the Black Wind King behind you, are you short-sighted, or...too smart?
Lu Yan coughed heavily.

General Yu Ya suddenly raised his head, wiped the saliva from the corner of his mouth vigorously, and put on a serious face: "Oh, shopkeeper Xiaoqian... ah, the shopkeeper Qian from before..."

"My third uncle." Lu Yu cupped his hands to General Yuya: "Third uncle is getting old, so he went home to be raised. From now on, all the activities of the Qian Hulu in Yunchaling will be Xiaosheng and my elder brother have the final say."

Lu Yu was not polite either, he strode up to General Yu Ya, and poured the cloth bag in his hand onto the public case, "Huh la la", the size of more than thirty fists, milky white in color, shining brightly in broad daylight A deep sea pearl with a radius of three feet was rolling on the koan, and the magnificent pearl light illuminated the entire hall.

"Hiss!" General Yu Ya took a deep breath, and subconsciously stood up: "Is this a good fire?"

"Baby!" Lu Yan pointed to these pearls, and said calmly: "It's the first time we meet, and I will ask the general to take care of one more in the future... If the general can take care of Qian Hulu, as long as my Qian Hulu business is done. , in the future... your benefits will be indispensable!"

Lu Yu saw through the nature of General Yu Ya.

Slightly stupid, greedy, one intestine... You said that such a goblin is difficult to deal with. He has a strong wildness and bestiality, so it is really difficult to deal with.

But if you want to say that he is easy to deal with... As long as you find out his appetite, find out his hobbies, and masturbate desperately along his hair, there will be no discomfort!

"Benefits?" General Yan Ya suddenly raised his head, tried his best to widen his small eyeballs, and grinned: "Shopkeeper Xiaoqian? You are an interesting, hey, hey, good person, good person, really good person!"

"Well, this time, I will hold a banquet for Mr. Heiyun to celebrate the victory. At the celebration banquet, I will have a seat for you. Hey, hey, such a good baby, such a good firelight, such bright beads, hey, hey..."

General Yu Ya was so distressed that his face twitched: "Forty percent will be given to Lord Heiyun, thirty percent will be given to King Heifeng, I can only take thirty percent, thirty percent..."

Lu Yu looked at General Yu Ya, and couldn't help complaining wildly in his heart.

How do the old monsters in Yunchaling teach their babies?

This general Yan Ya, with such performance, isn't he afraid that he will be cheated and sold the piglet?
Shaking his head, Lu Ni flipped his palm over, and there was another white pocket in his hand. He leaned over the koan, and there was another pile of sea pearls the size of a thumb, with colors of gold, red, blue, and red, 'Wow! La' slipped out of the pocket.

Although these sea pearls are only the size of a thumb, they are perfectly round and flawless. They are all top-level "walking beads" among the orbs, and they are also shining with brilliance, inner spirit, and surging Taoist rhyme. Concentrated with inspiration, each one is a top-notch product that can improve a lot of cultivation by refining tools, alchemy, and even taking it directly.

"These are Xiao Ke's filial piety to you, General." Lu Ni said indifferently: "A few greetings are not worth anything, and the general just accepts them."

General Yao Ya was stunned, he slowly raised his head, and took a deep look at Lu Yu.

The two fat bear paws were firmly pressed on these orbs, General Yu Ya said in a deep voice: "Good brother, he really is a good brother...In this case, then, as a brother, you will not be polite... Well, at Heiyun-jun's celebration banquet, I'll give you a good seat... just sit next to me!"

"Hey, what kind of business do you guys do with Qian Hulu? You just have to open your mouth if you are useful to me!" General Yi Ya smiled at Lu Ni very sincerely: "From now on, your family's business will be my brother's business. My own business!"

A quarter of an hour later, Lu Yu walked out of Xuncheng General's Mansion triumphantly, swaying.

He found King Chunlan and told him about the affairs in the general's mansion... King Chunlan's face twitched suddenly, and he almost spat out a mouthful of blood!
(End of this chapter)