mud falling painting beam empty

Chapter 1120 You Dare to Laugh at Me

Zhao Wuji was tied to the horse's back by Entreri like a sausage, and he was shaken so hard that he almost vomited his breakfast.

"Brother, can you change the position? I'm almost suffocating."

Entreri said without turning his head: "If you keep talking nonsense, I will cut off your tongue."

Zhao Wuji immediately shut up, and then yelled in his heart: "System! Where is your 'temporary protagonist halo'?!"

[System prompt: The halo has taken effect - the host's current death probability is only 87%, 13 percentage points lower than that of ordinary passerby A]

"Is this the protagonist's halo?!"

The horse suddenly braked. Zhao Wuji fell to the ground and looked up to see an ice cave covered by purple light - the wizard's lair of Kane's Cone.

Akar Kessell was suspended in midair, the Crystal Shard spinning in front of his chest. Entreri knelt on one knee: "Master, I have captured an elf who knows the weakness of Warhammer Warsong."

The wizard slowly floated over, and the corner of his rotten robe swept across Zhao Wuji's pale face: "Speak."

Zhao Wuji opened his mouth and suddenly began to sing uncontrollably:

"Your crystal is really beautiful, but I'm afraid the dwarves will sing DO RE MI~
If Warhammer roars, you will cry like a baby~"

The whole place was dead silent.

Entreri's dagger clanked to the ground.

[System: The host has been detected to have triggered a rhyming curse, and the penalty intensity has been upgraded to "Every sentence must have a melody"]

The corner of Kaisuo's mouth twitched: "Are you laughing at me?"

"No, no, no!" Zhao Wuji was so anxious that he danced with joy, and ended up improvising a rap:

"Big brother, please listen to my explanation~ This is absolutely true~
The dwarf sound waves can resonate ~ specifically counter your magic circle ~"

The Broken Magic Crystal suddenly flashed violently. Kaisuo was furious: "Throw him into the animal pen!"
-
In the animal pen, Zhao Wuji and a desperate winter wolf looked at each other.

"Brother," he tried to communicate, "you can't stand that wizard's crappy poetry recitation, right?"

Winter Wolf: “Woo~”

"You're right, his aesthetic taste is indeed unsophisticated~"

[System: Cross-species resonance detected, unlocking temporary skill "Friends of Beasts (rhyme version)"]

With this skill, Zhao Wuji successfully persuaded the winter wolf to help him chew through the rope. Just as they were planning their escape, the ground suddenly shook - the sound of dwarves' war cries and the collision of weapons came from afar.

"Drizzt and the Hammer family are coming!"

Zhao Wuji leaned on the railing and saw the white-haired elf chopping down the skeleton warriors with his gorgeous sword skills. Bruno's hammer brought up a cloud of icy mist every time he swung it.

"Good opportunity!" He mounted the winter wolf, "Let's take advantage of the chaos--"

The winter wolf suddenly howled to the sky: "Awooo~ (I want revenge)"

Then he rushed to the battlefield like an arrow, throwing Zhao Wuji like a broken kite.

"Slow down! I'm a businessman, not a cavalryman! Yue——"

[System: Added protagonist halo effect - presence reduced to zero, the chance of being accidentally injured is currently only 62%]

Winter Wolf drifted into the enemy camp and knocked over Kaisuo who was holding the staff. The broken magic crystal rolled to Zhao Wuji's feet and whispered temptingly: "Pick it up and I will give you 100,000 gold coins."

His hand reached out to the crystal uncontrollably, but he suddenly remembered that everyone who touched this thing in the original book had a bad ending, so he quickly changed his hand to a football kick: "Go!"

The crystal drew a perfect arc and fell right into Bruno's beer barrel.

"My wine!" The dwarf was furious and swung the barrel at Kessell.

"boom!"

The broken magic crystal soaked in dwarven liquor hit the wizard, and instantly burst into purple fire. When the smoke dissipated, only a pile of ashes and half-melted crystal residues were left on the ground.

Trist sheathed his knife and looked at Zhao Wuji with a frown: "You..."

Zhao Wuji quickly raised his hand and swore: "I didn't do anything! It was Jiutong who started it first!"

What came out of his mouth was a piece of opera:
"Ah~ The goddess of fate is joking~
I'm just a passer-by.
If you want to ask who made great contributions~
Please find the crazy wolf~"

The winter wolf cooperated with a "howl" and took away Kaisuo's gold-plated belt.
-
During the post-war settlement, Zhao Wuji huddled in a corner counting money:
"Gilded candlestick stolen from Kaisuo's warehouse: +20 gold coins
Orc Tooth Necklace from Winter Wolf: +5 Gold
Selling the bragging rights for "Participating in the Final Battle": +15 Gold
Total: Assets exceed 100 gold coins! "

Bruno suddenly appeared with a barrel of wine: "Boy, although you are a profiteer."

"But in consideration of your indirect help," Drizzt added, "House of Warhammer is willing to buy your socks at the market price."

Zhao Wuji was so moved that his eyes filled with tears, and he opened his mouth to sing another aria:

"Ah~ kind dwarf friend~
Your mind is as broad as a mountain.
But the wholesale price really can't be lower~
After all, I still need to save money to go back to my hometown~"

As everyone was trying to hold back their laughter, he ran away crying.

[System: Rhyming Curse Remaining Time: 23 Days and 11 Hours]

…………Zhao Wuji squatted behind the counter of the newly opened "Zhao's Department Store" in Dulin Town, with account books and coins piled in front of him. Since the destruction of the Broken Magic Crystal, the Ten Towns have ushered in a brief peace, and his business has also ushered in spring - if you ignore a fatal problem.

"Sir, what would you like to buy?" he greeted a human adventurer enthusiastically.

The adventurer pointed to the shelf and asked, "How much is that 'Drizzt's same luminous cloak'?"

Zhao Wuji opened his mouth to make an offer, but...

"Twenty gold coins is not expensive~
Cold protection, warmth and expensive~
Bought it to travel the world~
The girls were all intoxicated when they saw it~"

Adventurer: "."

[System Tips: The remaining time of the Rhyming Curse is 18 days and 7 hours]

Zhao Wuji covered his face in despair: "Why don't you look at the price yourself?"
-
Although the business was awkward, his wealth was growing steadily. Relying on the boasted title of "the hero behind the defeat of the Broken Demon Crystal" (of course, he insisted that he just "happened to be there"), Zhao Wuji's total assets finally exceeded 500 gold coins.

"System! At this rate, I will soon be able to-"

[Interrupt spellcasting] The system suddenly popped up a warning: [A major event node in the original novel has been detected: Artemis Entry will soon assassinate the speaker of Lonely Forest Town]

Zhao Wuji shuddered. According to the original novel, this assassination would trigger a civil war in the Ten Towns, directly leading to Bruenor Battlehammer's temporary departure and Drizzt embarking on a new road of exile.

"Wait, then won't the value of the shop I just bought be depreciated?!"

He quickly wrote down a string of numbers in the account book:
“If civil war breaks out:

1. Property value - 70%
2. Freight transportation cost +300%
3. Security expenses +500%
Conclusion: The risk of bankruptcy is extremely high"

Zhao Wuji made a prompt decision and decided to do two things:

1. Replace all inventory with portable jewelry;
2. Write an anonymous warning letter to the Speaker in advance.

As a result, I encountered a curse as soon as I picked up the pen:

"Dear Speaker~
There's an assassin coming tonight.
It is recommended that you send more guards.
Better drink some ginseng~"

"."

He threw the quill down in anger: "You can't even write an anonymous letter with this thing!"
-
The night of the assassination arrived as expected. Zhao Wuji squatted on the roof opposite the Council Hall, watching Entreri sneak into the building like a ghost.

“System, can’t I really do something?”

[System: According to Article 3 of the Extras Rules, the host can disturb the plot by no more than 5%]

Zhao Wuji's eyes lit up, and he took out the "Super Stinky Bomb" he bought from the goblin merchant a few days ago, and threw it into the ventilation duct of the council hall at the right time.

"puff--!!!"

The entire building was instantly covered in yellow-green smoke. Entreri stumbled out of the window, his face under the mask turning green: "Who?!"

The speaker rushed out with his guards, also in tears: "Catch... Ugh... That assassin... Ugh."

In the chaos, Zhao Wuji saw Trist patrolling not far away, and immediately shouted with a voice changer:

"Look! It was Drizzt Do'Urden who saved the Chancellor!"

The crowd's attention was immediately diverted. When the smoke cleared, Entreri had long disappeared, and Drizzt, inexplicably, was regarded as a hero.

[System: Disturbance value 4.9%, judged as qualified]

Zhao Wuji, who was hiding in the dark, laughed evilly: "Now the Speaker owes a favor to the Warhammer family. The civil war crisis is resolved, and my shop..."

“Got you.”

The cold blade pressed against the back of his neck. Entreri's voice was like a venomous snake: "You have ruined my life twice. How do you want to die?"

Zhao Wuji was quick-witted and suddenly recited with deep emotion:
"Don't be angry, killer brother~
Actually, I am your fan~
That smoke bomb just now~
Designed for your escape~"

Entreri: "."

Taking advantage of the killer's moment of distraction, Zhao Wuji pulled out a flash bomb and smashed it on the ground. In the bright light, he heard Entreri's rare swear words, and the system prompt:
[Consumable "Goblin's inferior flash bomb" takes effect. Side effect: the host's hair temporarily turns into fluorescent powder]
-
The next day, Zhao Wuji, with his pink afro, posted a notice at the city gate:
"Due to business development, our store has moved to Luskan. Clearance sale!"

Bruno passed by carrying a warhammer: "Boy, I heard you helped last night?"

Just as Zhao Wuji was about to answer, the curse was automatically triggered:

"Warhammer Patriarch, you are so handsome~
Beard shines like gold nuggets~
If you ask why you want to move~
Northern girl waiting for my love~"

The dwarf laughed and threw him a heavy bag. "Be careful on the road, profiteer."

Inside the bag were 100 gold coins and a Warhammer family crest.

Drizzt appeared on the wall at some point and said meaningfully, "The Wizard Council in Luskan is ten times more dangerous than the Crystal Shard."

This time Zhao Wuji finally controlled the curse and said only three words:

“I know.”

[Asset update: 723 gold coins]