girl riding a horse

Chapter 994 Extra Story [-]: Feng Boyang

People have different needs at different ages.

When Feng Boyang became the empress dowager, he successfully brought up the grandson of his beloved and secured the throne, he was already a gray-haired old woman.

This is the biggest insight she got when she recalled the past.

Maybe when people are old, they know that they don't have much time, so they like to remember.

After Ulay left suddenly, she kept recalling that day and night, like an old cow chewing its cud, it kept taking out the food that had been chewed countless times, and chewed it again.

That's because of regrets, regrets that can never be done, that can never be undone.

When Shen Liuzhen gathered all the educated court ladies together, he asked them three questions:

One, what books have you read?

Second, how many past dynasty names do you know.

Three, what do you want most?
What do you want most?
At that time, Feng Boyang looked at Shen Liuzhen, his eyes flickered, and many memories flashed in his mind, and he said after a while that he wanted the most glory and wealth.

Compared to the apprehension and hesitation of other court ladies, her eyes must have been firm at that time, revealing obvious ambition.

She still remembered that Shen Liuzhen looked at her with a smile on his face, wondering and satisfied, and seemed to be mocking her vulgar and contemptible ambition.

A princess whose country was ruined and whose family was ruined didn't even think about revenge, instead she begged for wealth and honor from her former enemy.

At that time, she really wanted to retort, and asked him if all the people who bullied him had taken revenge since he was a child, and none of them just let it go and just passed it.

Who doesn't have the memories of suffering a few times in his memory?Wouldn't life be over if we didn't take revenge?
What's more, this is the hatred of the country's destruction and family destruction. She is now a slave and maid without personal freedom and dignity. How can she take revenge?Is it wrong for her to think better?

But in the end she didn't say anything, she didn't say anything.Because saying this means that she still has hatred in her heart.

A person who is thinking about hatred, how can the other party give you glory and wealth?

She doesn't want to die, she wants to live a good life, she wants to live the relaxed and happy life of the past.

If she has never been honored since she was born, that's all.A person who was born as a pariah might not feel sorry for herself, because she has always lived like this.

She was different. Her memories told her that if she died like this, it would be such a tragedy.

She is not reconciled.

She really hated Wei Guo and Taiwu Emperor Shi Yu Foli, hated him for annexing her land and making her a prisoner.

Because of this hatred, she once secretly cleaned up the traces of Shi Yu's naive vomiting of blood, watched his pain and suffering with cold eyes, and even after his death, she wiped away the blood from his mouth expressionlessly while holding the blood in her heart. secretly smug.

Look, although I can't avenge myself, God has avenged it for me. How beautiful the scene of father and son fighting each other is.

But that's all, no matter how much it is, you will have to sacrifice your own life.

She hasn't lived enough, the good days in her memory are only a few years, her life has just begun, she is not reconciled.

Later, she became Ulei's queen as she wished, and regained her glory and wealth. What she wanted most was to save her own life.

If a child is born, her life is gone.

She was afraid of Ulay's approach, even holding hands.She was afraid that Wu Lei would suddenly use force on her. An emperor and a man, she had no room to protect herself.

So she tried to make herself annoying, within the acceptable range of politeness, to make Ulay annoying.

This is really difficult. If Ulay thinks she is a waste, she will be deposed and lose her current glory and wealth.

It is really difficult to grasp the balance between wanting to survive and wanting to be rich and prosperous.

Later, they all said that she was cautious, gentle and steady, but also cold and distant, making it difficult to guess her thoughts.

Ulay definitely didn't understand either, until the last moment before he died...

Because she never responded.

Since when?
Xu is a loving couple who have been performing for a long time. They often eat together, discuss government affairs together, sit behind a desk, and lie on a bed.

She didn't know when it started, but her heart began to shake.

He certainly didn't know that she had cried while hugging his clothes, she had secretly stared at his hands from the corner of her eye, and had fantasized about the scene of them embracing each other.

After Ulay passed away, her biggest regret was not being able to really hug him once when he was alive.

How about a hug?

The person I like, although we meet each other every day, the closest we get to each other is actually when he died, crying on his corpse...

As soon as she thought of this, regret would eat her heart, and she couldn't remember any glory, wealth, or life.

That's why at that moment, she rushed over like a fire.

It was the most impulsive time in her life.

But impulsiveness is impulsive after all, after being rescued, she lost the courage to give up everything.

After all, she is really just a selfish person who is afraid of death, how can a person's nature change?
That spur of the moment was her fault, right?

Then, she recalled the question Shen Liuzhen asked her, what do you want most?
She answered herself in her heart: I most want to make up for regrets.

She should choose to believe in herself and Ulay. When he was alive, except for not having children, she did everything a normal couple could do, and talked to each other as if there had never been any estrangement.

But time has passed, Ulay is dead, and the regret she wants to make up for has no chance, except in dreams and memories.

At that time, she felt that it was really a good thing to be able to live, remember, and dream.

Xu is Aiwujiwuba, because he loves Wulei, so he loves Weiguo.

Because he loves Ulei and cannot make up for the regret in his heart, he devotes all his energy and wisdom to inheriting his behest.

It seems that this is the only way to comfort myself.

Many years later, with gray hair on her temples, she led the little emperor who had just completed the ceremony of offering sacrifices to heaven, along the long royal road, surrounded by civil and military officials standing on both sides.

The 16-year-old grandson of the emperor who has no blood relationship with her asked innocently:

"Grandmother, my grandson heard that Grandmother and Grandpa are very affectionate and inseparable. They even threw themselves into the fire to follow him. Do you still miss him?"

Feng Boyang heard that a gentle smile appeared on her old face. The washing of the years brought her calmness, and she no longer had the pain of the past. She said lightly:

"Now? It's been too long, and I can't remember much...Why do you ask this suddenly?"

The little emperor looked up at her and smiled, and said:

"My grandson is very envious and wants a queen like that, but my grandson has never seen the person chosen by the imperial grandmother..."

Feng Boyang turned his head and patted his palm lovingly, and said with a smile:

"The so-called great love is only seen by outsiders. Only the two of us know what the real situation is. Your grandfather devoted all his life to state affairs, and his children's personal relationships are not important. It's just that he needs me, and I I also respect him, the two of you just support each other, and you and your queen will do the same in the future."

"...Then why did the imperial grandmother throw herself into the fire?"

"If this is not the case, the ministers will only think that I am greedy for power and that a Han wants to control the court. At that time, I said that I was to guard the family and the country for your grandfather and support your father to rule in person. Because of that incident , and no one questioned my sincerity."

The little emperor showed a little disappointment on his face, and murmured:

"Ah...that's what it is."

Feng Boyang smiled lovingly, looked at the sky in the distance, and said lightly:

"...Naturally."

　did my best.

　　
　
(End of this chapter)