All living beings in hell

Chapter 126 - VEE
The lotus lantern at the entrance was lit up, and the office welcomed nine guests No.70.

The door was pushed open rudely, and an American girl with long blue-green hair came in.The girl wears heavy smoky makeup, and there is tear drops mixed with black eyeliner dye on her face.She chews bubble gum, wears a silver metal necklace around her neck, wears cropped jeans and a letter T-shirt, and carries a wooden baseball bat.There was blood on the end of the baseball bat, dried and crimson and black.

"Yo, how are you?"

The girl sat astride the wooden chair, with the baseball bat in her hand on the ground.

"I'm fine, how are you?"

"It's a lie to say that it's okay, my wife's life is terrible."

The girl's eyes were full of exhaustion, and her whole body was noisy and world-weary.

I spread my pen and ink: "What should I call you?"

"Vee, VEE. Two E's spelled like this."

I wrote her name on a piece of paper: "Okay Vee, what are you looking for today?"

"I'm really fed up. I've had enough of this world and hell. I want to go somewhere else."

"How did you end up in hell?"

"I was drunk and took a baseball bat to grab the 7-11 convenience store on the corner. Who knew that the owner had a gun. But what I took was a baseball bat, not a double-barreled shotgun! Anyway, I was robbed during the robbery. It’s really shameful to be collapsed and die. But it’s not too bad, anyway, I’m tired of living in the world.”

"What was your life like on earth?"

"I said I was a good student, would you believe me?" Vee had a contemptuous smile on his face.

"I believe."

"Stanford University's chemical engineering major, I completed the six-year course in four years, with a GPA of 3.8, and entered the honor list for three consecutive years."

"You study really well."

"Four years later, guess what I got?"

"what?"

"Over $8 in student loans, a boring job, bipolar disorder and alcoholism."

"When you were in the world, did you seek help for your symptoms?"

"Help? Huh," Vee rolled his eyes. "Are you talking about a $500-an-hour therapist, or a free alcoholic support group?"

"It seems that you haven't met any organization or individual that can really help you."

"Forget it, no one can help me. Those psychiatrists are just doing their job, and the treatment is over when the treatment is over. Colds will come and go because of the seasons, let alone bipolar disorder. disease?

As for support groups, save yourself, they were a thing of the last century.If I have that time, I might as well scroll through social software, post a few tweets, and maybe feel better. "

"If you don't want to stay in hell and don't want to go back to the world, where do you want to go?"

"Why can't I go to heaven?"

"In the period after death, if the soul is too heavy or too chaotic and confused, it cannot ascend to heaven. Gravity will make you fall uncontrollably, and you will fall into hell, which is lower than the place on earth. .Maybe it was when you were shot and killed, it was more chaotic."

"Chaos? My whole life has been chaos.

No wonder there's a song about something like, 'All the good girls go to hell'.Hahahaha, I figured it out.A girl like me who craves chaos even if it is not chaos should indeed come to a place like hell. "

"Why do you desire chaos? What kind of chaos do you mean?"

Vee took out the piece of bubble gum from his mouth, stretched it into a long strip in his hand, folded it again, and continued to stretch the strip, just playing over and over like this.

"What kind of chaos? Can there be different types of chaos?"

"It's not like sorting, it's more like how do you feel about chaos? Or, what is your understanding of chaos?"

After playing for a while, Vee put the bubble gum back in his mouth and continued to chew.

"Let me tell you this, sir. I have been a good girl who studies obediently since I was a child. If my parents let me learn piano, I can be shortlisted for the Chopin U13 competition. If I let me learn golf, I can win the youth championship. .I learn everything quickly, sports, music, language, handicrafts, there is nothing I can't learn.

But I don't like anything, or I don't know what I like at all.I just kept doing the things my parents told me, 'these are good things, if you do them you'll be great'.

Do I like it myself?I have no idea.

I enjoy winning, enjoying those three seconds of standing on the podium and lifting the trophy.After three seconds, I'm bored.

Yes, life is so fucking boring.It was as if everything was planned and I just had to do it.

Those honors that others seem to be out of reach, for me, can only be obtained with a little training.I can't say it's easy, but I can't say it's difficult either.The same goes for getting into Stanford. When I applied, I knew that this university would definitely want me.

Haha, how can the hypocritical academic world not want a high school student with an all-round resume like me?Coupled with a provocative self-statement application essay, there is nothing stopping me.

I thought everything would be different after I went to college.At least I can leave my family in the East and start a new life on the West Coast.Meet new friends and enjoy crazy parties.It would be best for me to fall asleep on this sofa today and wake up next to someone else.Yes, I yearn for such a life. "

"And then? Have you lived a life like this?"

"First month of school, of course. Whatever fucking GPA, I'm going crazy."

"What was that feeling like?"

"It was quite interesting at the beginning. I once thought that this kind of life was what I wanted. It can't be said to be fulfilling, at least it's not boring. There will be new things happening every day, and I can meet new people every day, which is better than my previous life. Life is getting better!"

"Then what? Then what happened?"

“I found that no matter how crazy my life was, once I repeated a certain amount, I would get bored again. Before the midterm exam in the first semester, I got drunk at the party and kissed five or six boys. Then I lost consciousness. When I can remember again, I was hugging the toilet in the dormitory, vomiting so much that I almost turned my stomach bag out. My face was full of tears and my head hurt.

I was thinking that night, Vee what the fuck are you doing.Is this really the life you want? "

"Is that what you want in life?"

"Of course not. I fell ill the next day, had a fever, and missed the midterm exam. But I wrote an eloquent email to the professor about my illness and got a chance to make up the exam. Since that day, I have not Go to those parties again.

Since what I enjoy is the sense of accomplishment, let's read.Keep reading, keep taking exams, as long as I get an A in my coursework, I can have at least a few seconds of happiness.

After four years like this, my myopia has deepened by two hundred degrees, and my weight has increased by twenty pounds.I got ugly, maybe wiser.But only I know, I think the world is more boring.

After graduating, I looked at my loan statement and thought about the rest of my life.Work, earn money, pay off the loan.Maybe you have to get married, have children, and raise another outstanding child.

It's scary, it's scary just thinking about it.I suddenly felt that I was following the path of my parents.

My parents are top students. They paid off their college loans when they were 40 years old, and they did everything they could to train me, just so that I could enter an Ivy League school.In their words, they worked so hard to train me so that I could have a good life.

This is a tall order!I don't even know what the hell is life!How to live a good life!Isn't a bad life a life, and a life that is not recognized by them is not a good life! "

"It sounds like you're under a lot of pressure."

"This world has changed a long time ago, so what about the students from the Ivy League? Shouldn't they rob and rob and kill people? It's shameful for someone like me who can get shot at a 7-11. I'm sorry, lost it Our Ivy League face. Should at least rob a bank."

"Then if you had to choose again now, what kind of life would you choose?"

"I'd rather be the daughter of a rancher in rural Tennessee and spend my life herding sheep and milking sheep. You might laugh, this city girl doesn't know the hardships of country farm life. Haha, you can laugh if you want, I want to laugh too .Because I really don’t know, I’m just fantasizing now. I want to live a different life, at least not arranged by others.”

"It sounds like you are still interested in returning to the human world. And you are still full of curiosity. You are curious about a life you never had. Do you like this curiosity?"

"Who hates curiosity? If I'm going back to the world, I want life to be easier. I'd rather not have a cell phone, not have social media, and let me take my time. Even if I only stay in one place for the rest of my life, Just do one thing."

"If I followed my previous style and heard your description, I would write you a letter of recommendation and ask you to find Granny Meng and return to the world to start a new life. But after thinking about it, I think you should stay here for the time being. Stay in hell for a while longer."

"why?"

"Because life in hell is very slow, so slow that time can be ignored. Here, nothing is important and must be done. If you can stay with the time here, do something you really enjoy things, then you can do it in the world.”

"What is this? Hell training camp?" Vee laughed.

"Hell is hell, where did the training camp come from. It's just that if you want to get out of the current predicament, this is something you can do. You will feel better if you don't leave the world or leave hell. The environment is difficult to solve Heart disease, but changing the state of mind can change the environment."

"I changed my mood, isn't this hell?"

"Of course hell is still hell, but your perspective and concept of hell will be different. Similarly, after you return to the human world, your perspective and concept of the human world will also be different."

"I like this, it's very challenging."

"More challenging than applying to Stanford?"

"More challenging than catching four papers in three days."

"Okay, as long as you like it."

The world-weary air on Vee's body finally faded, and she played with the baseball bat on the ground.

"You look pedantic, but you're actually pretty cool."

"You look like you hate that world, but you just want to know how to love life."

The baseball bat stopped spinning suddenly, and Vee looked up at me: "Everyone wants to love life, doesn't they?"

"That's the question you need to find the answer for yourself."

"I wish my dad was as cool as you."

"I may not be old enough to be your father."

"Yeah, too old."

I laughed and Vee laughed too.She stood up, took the metal necklace from her neck and put it on my desk.

"A present."

"That doesn't seem like my style."

"You try it on, it will definitely be cool. Chinese official robes with punk rock metal chains, don't be too cool."

"You wear it, I don't need it."

"Then I don't have the money to pay for psychological counseling."

"Need not."

"If only I could meet you before I die."

"You won't meet me while you're alive."

Vee raised an eyebrow and put the necklace back around his neck.She stood up with sincerity in her eyes.

"Thank you."

I nodded to her: "Go and play, have fun."

Vee gave a wry grin, and she walked out of the office with small, easy steps, slung the baseball bat over her shoulder.

(End of this chapter)