All living beings in hell

Chapter 151 - Ashkar
In the spare time of receiving guests, I often think of the sea.

During my lifetime, I lived in a seaside city for a long time.In countless afternoons when the temperature is just right and the gravel is mild, I sit on the beach with my knees hugged and look at the sea in a daze.The sound of the waves repeats regularly, as it washes over the beach, it also washes over my complicated thoughts.

In the intervals between the knocks of the next guest, I was thinking, as always, of the sea.

Although I have seen many appearances of the sea—the calm sea with a clear sky; the black and heavy waves under the heavy rain; the water as clear as blue glass; the fishy yellow mud—but in such free time, The sea in my memory is always sunny, like a collection of all the beautiful things at that time, so beautiful that I can't help but groan in the wind of imagination.

Chant songs, chant poems, chant wherever you can see, where you chant love and longing.

There was a knock on the door, and the memory of the sea faded away.

I finally took a breath of the light wind, spread my pen and ink, and prepared to welcome guests.

The lotus lantern at the door was lit up, and the office welcomed the one hundred and fifth guest.

A strange object of white plaster walked in. Its body was made of a circular triangular cone with the pointed end pointing forward.The head is a cylinder, the limbs are cuboids, and the eyes have no eyeballs, just two sunken pits.

The guest's body was cobbled together like a still-life plaster used for sketching. The joints were not flexible, and fine white powder would fall down every step he took.

"Hi, what should I call you?" I asked.

"Ashkar."

The voice of this plaster guest surprised me a lot. It was soft and crisp, and the words were clearly pronounced like a well-trained announcer.

"Ashkar, why did you come to me today?"

"I want to gain focus."

"Concentration? How do you understand concentration?"

"You can concentrate on doing one thing for a long time."

"Why do you need to gain concentration?"

"I need focus to complete my own transformation."

"What remodeling do you need to accomplish?"

Ashkar's two cuboid arms rubbed against each other, and more white plaster powder fell to the ground.

"My body, needs to be reshaped into a comfortable shape. Right now I don't know how to reshape it, and I think focus can help me do that."

"Why focus, not creativity, or other factors?"

Ashkar tilted his head and thought for a while: "Creativity is an unstable factor. What if I want to sculpt myself like Archimedes for a moment, and want to become a Sphinx the next second? Creativity is too much. It is not constant anymore, and can only provide inspiration in the initial stage.

When the inspiration is determined, put the inspiration into action and make it a reality.

It all depends on concentration. "

"Then what do you want to be like?"

"Not yet. I hope that my final presentation will be perfect, but the more I think about it, the less I dare to sculpt myself. If my nose is a little crooked and my abs are not symmetrical enough, I may regret it for a long time."

"Then why do you think that concentration can make you not regret it? You carve yourself with great concentration, and you may not carve it the way you want in the end."

"You're right, and it is. But ah, I feel like if I focus enough on doing something, I forget about its existence or its predictable outcome.

At least in this way, I will not be distracted, regretful, repeatedly modifying and delaying the progress during the sculpting process, and will not make things worse because of indecision. "

"The concentration you mentioned is more like a sense of presence, the feeling of being completely in the creative process."

"Yes, I need this moment of total immersion in the present moment, otherwise I will be delayed."

"Can you have tea?"

"A plaster body should not be able to take in too much water."

"Ok."

I poured myself tea and took a slow sip.Ashkar watched me stop asking other questions, and started talking by himself.

"I just got this body not long ago. Before that, I was in the state of a wandering soul without a specific body shape. So I cherish this body very much. Although it is not yet in shape, it can change into whatever I like. Look, I don't want to waste this hard-won opportunity."

"Well, I understand what you mean. What did you do when you were alive, and how did you end up in hell?"

Ash Carl paused, as if he didn't really want to mention his past events.

"It's okay if you don't want to say it, it's not forced."

"My job during my lifetime is actually very similar to what I do now."

"Are you a sculptor?"

"No...I'm a plastic surgeon."

"Will you give yourself plastic surgery?"

"A hyaluronic acid filling or something like that, this kind of minor surgery has been done. There is no way to perform a major surgery on your own."

"Then how did you end up in hell?"

Ashkar hesitated again: "I haven't thought about this matter for a long time."

"It's okay if you don't say anything."

"A client of mine died on the operating table because of my mistake. The media reported it overwhelmingly, and my clinic paid reasonable compensation. As the attending doctor, I was subjected to intense cyberbullying, and my conscience tortured me day and night. .I couldn't take it anymore, and chose to leave that world by myself."

"How did you leave that world?"

"I injected myself with a huge amount of anesthesia, the kind that was so large that I couldn't wake up."

"Why did you lose your body shape after arriving in hell? Where did your plaster body come from?"

"I have always been dissatisfied with my appearance before I was alive. I have undergone a lot of large and small operations, but I have never become what I want to be. After I came to hell, I didn't want to have a specific form.

The plaster was given to me by a god who said he heard my prayer and would grant me this wish. "

"God? Which god?"

"It's just a very bright light. The light said something to me. After I realized it, my soul was already contained in this big plaster body."

"What did the god say to you?"

"Say, if I carve out the appearance I like, I can leave hell and return to the world."

"Then what kind of appearance do you like?"

"As a plastic surgeon, I have operated countless patients' bodies. Breast augmentation, nose augmentation, bone reduction, liposuction, everyone wants to shape themselves into a beautiful look. But so far, I have never seen a patient who made me 100% Satisfied facial features and figure.

I think the muscles of ancient Greek sculptures are beautiful, but they always give people a hard and dry feeling.

I think Nordic people are born like elves, but youth is fleeting. Once they are over 25 years old, their cheeks will be shriveled and they will no longer be agile.

I think Asians look like they have secrets to keep them fresh, 55 years old can look the same as 20 years old.But I was a Germanic person before I was alive, and if I return to the human world, I would still like to be a Germanic person.

I have never seen a perfect face, so I don't know what to sculpt myself into. "

"Then what if the perfect appearance doesn't exist at all?"

"Perfect appearance must exist."

"But any appearance will age with age, which is irresistible of the human body over time."

"As long as the technology is sufficiently developed, one day youth can stay on human faces forever."

"How are you going to start sculpting yourself if you haven't seen the perfect face? You don't even have a reference."

"That's why I need focus."

"What does this have to do with focus?"

"As long as I get into that state, what I do is perfect."

"What state?"

"The sense of presence you mentioned earlier is like entering a state of complete ecstasy."

"Have you ever been in that state before?"

"Yes, I am most satisfied with the operation performed in that state."

"How do you get into that state?"

"When I'm focused enough."

"Oh, that's it. That's good, the logic is closed. You already know what to do, so just do it."

"But I can't concentrate now, so I came to discuss with you. Since I came to hell, I have never been in that state again. I always feel upset, like a hundred fleas in my heart, up and down It’s uncomfortable to jump down.”

"Is it because you still care about what happened before your death?"

Ashkar was silent for a while without speaking.

"If it's because of something in your life that you can't use the knife now, it's really not worth it. Although your previous reasons have caused you to go to hell, you still have the ability to decide the fate of your next life."

"I can not."

"Focus won't give you courage, but focus can make you forget all your other worries for a while."

"How can I gain courage..."

I thought about it: "I don't think there is any need to worry about sculpting the body. You don't know what to sculpt now, maybe it's not the time yet."

"The time has not yet come..."

"Why did that god give you this body and ask you such a question?"

Ashkar was lost in thought and didn't speak.I drank my tea and watched him silently for a while.He didn't seem to be able to figure out a clue, and he didn't mean to answer.

"Wait a little longer," I said.

"What am I waiting for?"

"The shape of fate will naturally appear in time, maybe at that time you will know how to cut."

"We have to wait until... then..."

"Maybe slowly, maybe quickly."

"Slowly...quickly..."

"Do you have any questions today?"

Ashkar didn't answer me, he has often fallen into a long silence since just now.

"Then our time is almost up today, so let's stop here."

"Wait a minute."

"what?"

"At that time, will it definitely come?"

"If that's what your heart desires, it will come."

The plaster body stood up slowly and stabilized its balance while shaking from side to side.

"Thank you, my lord."

"You're welcome, let's go."

White footprints were left on the floor, like chalk paintings on the ground.Ashkar left the office, dragging his body in plaster.

(End of this chapter)