All living beings in hell

Chapter 182 - British Soldier Pete
The lotus lantern at the door was lit up, and the office welcomed the 130th guest No. [-].

A young soldier in a khaki uniform limped into the office, his head bandaged and the bandage covering his left eye.The left leg had been amputated below the knee, and there were black and red blood stains on the white gauze bandage.Wearing the uniform of a British infantryman during World War II, the soldier looks exhausted, his entire body slanted toward a canoe supported by his left hand.

"Where is this?" the British asked feebly, as if he would faint at any second.

"This is hell." I replied truthfully.

"Hell? No way, this is ridiculous. It looks like my cousin's tree house, and you, you look like a... theater burlesque Asian."

"How long have you been here?"

The British soldier limped to the wooden chair and sat down. He exuded the stench of the trenches—the smell of excrement, sweat, and rotting limbs, which made people think of death involuntarily.

"How long has it been?" The Englishman held the wooden stick in his left hand and rubbed his temple with his right hand. "How long... decades... I don't know, and I don't remember how I got here."

"what's your name?"

I took out the exquisite afternoon tea cup left by the previous guest and poured tea for him.

"Pete, Pete Birdsong, a kid growing up in the Scottish countryside."

Pete took a sip from the teacup and frowned: "God, I'm really in hell."

"What did you come to see me for today?"

"My infantry regiment and I got separated...we were retreating from the Dachau concentration camp and on the way to the next mission...on the way we encountered enemy bombing and I was seriously injured and my brain was shocked I’m so dazed that I don’t remember anything.”

"Who bandaged your wound?"

"When I woke up, my left leg was gone and I couldn't see anything in my left eye... I was in a dark, dark place, I was weak, I didn't know where it was. I wanted to talk, but No sound came out of the throat, as if it was stuffed with cotton.

Maybe I'm in some kind of medical tent, surrounded by a huge waterproof black canvas, with only a small gap far, far away to see a little sunlight from outside.

There were other wounded soldiers with me, but I didn't recognize them.They muttered, what they said should be...it should be French, right?I don't know, I don't understand anything.There were occasional bombing sounds outside, and the tent smelled of disinfectant and alcohol.After smelling it for a long time, my nose is also numb. "

"and after?"

"A dude next to me kept muttering to me in French and I couldn't understand a word. I was cold and shaking all the time. I knew I was going to die and I was silently praying to God that the damn thing would go away soon. Hit the end. I hate the stiff feel of rifles, and I hate endless wars.

My left eye was probably inflamed, itchy and painful, like the entire eyeball had been stung by a wasp.The left eye has been involved until the whole left brain is throbbing with pain. I am getting weaker and colder. "

"When you're dying, what do you miss the most?"

"Missing? I have a little garden in the Scottish countryside and my sister has a lot of beautiful roses in the garden. God, I didn't know how beautiful those white and pink roses were until then, and I used to be angry when I was young." She always cuts off those beautiful flower buds and throws them into her quilt cover. She was pissed off by me several times, oh, I'm such an out-and-out bastard."

"If you had another chance to choose again, would you still join the army?"

"Join the army? Fuck join the army. It's a game between politicians, but we ordinary people who love life pay the price of our lives to play this boring and goddamn chess game with them.

When I joined the army, I was 16 years old. In order to join the army, I lied about my age. This is probably the most regrettable thing I have ever done in my life. "

"Lying about your age?"

"Lying to join the army. When I was young, I liked to do anything. I made a bet with my neighbor Tommy that I would be able to fool the officers in the army and recruit me into the army.

Tommy was a nice English boy, the kind of unobtrusive bespectacled nerd you'd find in any bookstore.He always seemed to know it all, uncomfortably smart.

Tommy told me there was absolutely no way I could fool those officers.Those officers have seen so many people, how could they be tricked by a 16-year-old kid.

I refused to accept it. At that time, I was already 1.8 meters tall, and my chest muscles, shoulders, and back were all very strong.I can carry four bags of potatoes in a sack of fifty catties at a time.At that time, I felt that nothing in this world could stop me. As long as I wanted to, the world was my oyster. "

"and after?"

"I went to sign up and passed all the physical examinations. I wanted to go back and show off to Tommy, but when I passed, I was pulled into a military vehicle and transported to a military training camp. I didn't even have time to talk to Tommy. My sister said her goodbyes, and before she could tell Tommy I had won, she was on a path of no return.

Ten days later, I was sent to the battlefield of World War II, and I have never returned home since then. "

Pete smiled self-deprecatingly and looked at me wearily with his only good right eye: "After death is hell, what is after hell?"

"The beginning of other life experiences."

"I saw Tommy later."

"Oh? How did you see it?"

"I later found out that Tommy is German, and Tommy's family is German. Tommy's grandfather cleverly predicted the economic depression in Germany after World War I, so he took the whole family to England and lived in the suburbs of Scotland. Tommy Mi grew up here, and has no German accent at all.

After World War II, Tommy returned to Germany with his father.When we meet again, Tommy..."

"what?"

"He's already a young Commander, a damn smart nerd."

"How did you meet again?"

"I was caught and put in a prison camp. Tommy came to count the prisoners and recognized me in a crowd."

"and then?"

"I called his name, but he pretended not to know me. In the middle of the night, he secretly called me into his office for a drink of wine.

He said he would let me go, but asked me to hide my identity immediately after leaving the prisoner-of-war camp, pretend that I was dead, and not appear on the battlefield again.

He said that this war is meaningless, and for ordinary people like me, it is just a sacrifice for no reason.It's not about honor, it's not about achievement, we're all pawns, it's just that some pawns are better at taking advantage of the situation. "

"what do you say?"

"I refused."

"You refused? You refused to leave?"

"Do you think I am stupid? Yes, I refuse to leave. I think I am fighting for justice and peace in the future. Although I am an ant, the combined strength of the ant will definitely be able to promote the progress of history .”

"and after?"

"We broke up while we were slightly drunk, but Tommy let me go. Before leaving, he said, if he sees me next time, I hope we are not enemies."

"Did you see him again afterward?"

"I'm actually not sure about this matter."

"Why not sure?"

"When I liberated the Dachau concentration camp, I saw a German officer running away from a trail. I stopped him, and he looked back at me. That look was very familiar, very familiar."

"Then why aren't you sure it's Tommy?"

"His glasses were gone, and he had a large burn from his neck all the way down his right cheek. The burn was red and red, and it looked like a piece of skinned beef. That nerdy Tommy, the handsome German officer was gone. Before me It was a frightened beast.

I put the rifle down and said to him in German, run.The German officer froze for a moment, and fled quickly.

You know what happened after that, I was blown off a leg and lost an eye.I often think that if Tommy hadn't let me go, maybe I wouldn't have let go of that German officer who didn't know if it was Tommy.We are even, we owe each other nothing, and next time I meet him, I will definitely shoot. "

"It's a pity that you don't have such a chance."

Pete sighed, "Do you know what it's like to take someone's life?"

"What do you think."

"I thought it would be very powerful and a good feeling, as if I was the god of all things, above life. But in fact, when I sent bullets into other people's bodies, I was only afraid."

"afraid of what?"

"I was afraid that the way they looked at me before they died would reappear in my dreams over and over again.

Maybe I am not afraid of killing a life, what I am afraid of is the torture of death. "

"What is Death trying to torture?"

"The god of death tortured me over and over again in my dream, what kind of demon power has made me into."

"How did you answer that?"

"I never answered his torture, I was afraid, I trembled, I woke up from tears or shouting, wishing to kill everything around me at this moment, so as to calm my helplessness at the moment."

"Do you still have nightmares often?"

Pete looked at me with empty eyes: "Aren't I in a dream now? Aren't you the god of death?"

"Do you wish you were dreaming?"

"I wish I was dead."

"Then your wish has come true, you are indeed dead now, talking to me in hell."

"Why do death and nightmares feel so similar?"

"Where are the similarities?"

"Although painful, these pains are bearable compared with waking hours."

"Why can it be tolerated?"

"Because it doesn't matter."

"What doesn't matter?"

"Everything, the concentration camps, the ranks, the tricks of the politicians, war and peace, everything doesn't matter anymore."

"If there is an afterlife, what do you want to do?"

"Be a flower farmer and plant roses one by one."

"and then?"

"I hope those who have been hurt by the war can find some comfort in the flowers... At least, I hope my soul can find some comfort in the sea of ​​roses."

"Well, is there anything else you want to ask me?"

"How can life be lived without pain?"

"Painful experience is necessary in the learning of human nature. Although pain is inevitable or even unpredictable, at least you can relax as much as possible when you can."

"How to relax?"

"It's good to plant flowers."

"Is this the thinking of you Orientals?"

"This idea does not distinguish between East and West. Everyone wants to live a better and easier life, doesn't it?"

Pete didn't speak, he seemed to be falling asleep.

"Find a place to take a good rest." I advised.

Pete propped up the wooden stick, took off his military cap and nodded slightly to me: "May the Lord bless you."

"Goodbye." I said.

The British soldier who lost half of his left leg leaned sideways on the rough wooden stick.The war once took away part of his body, and the war also allowed him to find the sustenance of peace.

I watched him limping out of the office, and thought, maybe all the violence in the world is not absurd or meaningless.I hated war terribly during my lifetime, but without war, perhaps the value of peace would become weak.

The more you give, the more precious you get. This logic buried deep in the collective subconscious doesn't know what else will be made of human beings...

(End of this chapter)