messenger from the wasteland

Chapter 190 Yagami Chenglan once thought about it

It rained again in the morning, because it is the rainy season, and it has been raining non-stop for the past few days.

As early as a few days ago, the school cultural festival of Xicheng High School had ended. As the school returned to its usual state, the cultural festival seemed to have nothing left, and it seemed to have left something behind.

What was left behind, no one can say clearly, but occasionally, students in class B of the second year will see a photo placed at the back of the classroom.

This is one of the rare photos where the whole class is present, including Matsuoka, Chu, and even Yagami Chengran.

In the photo, Matsuoka was standing at the sidemost position, with his hands folded on his chest, with a serious expression.Although he is no longer the head teacher of class B of the second year, he still often comes to help Chu take care of these boys.

Chu was wearing a white coat, with his hands in his pockets, his face was calm as always, and his eyes were looking at the camera lightly.

As for Iori Yagami, with a rare smile on her face, she stood in the middle of the students, looking a little shy.

The photo was placed on an inconspicuous seat in the classroom, but it happened to be next to Yagami Chengran's seat.

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"Ding dong."

The sound of the bus arriving at the stop sounded, Yagami Chengran stood in the bus stop, raised his eyes from the phone.

This mobile phone was given to her two days ago as a gift for the toy dog.

Today's Iori Yagami got up very early, made some breakfast for Hatsue and Maekawa Shimizu, and planned to go to school alone.

Putting on the earphones, I got on the bus and sat in a seat near the window.

The light rain seemed to be getting a bit heavy, blurring the scenery outside the car window.

Yagami Chenglan leaned against the car window, listening to the song quietly.

"I've thought about it for a while..."

This is the song from the school festival, she specially downloaded it.

Just like in the lyrics.

Yashen Chenglan once thought about ending everything.

Because the messy room was too small, so small that she couldn't see the future of her life.

When I wake up every morning, all I can hear is the sound of the lonely clock moving, and the faint traffic and human voices coming from outside the window.

She couldn't remember how many times she woke up in bed, staring at the blank wall in a daze, not knowing what she should do.

Sometimes, she would like to ask herself why she appeared in this world, even her parents abandoned her.

Maybe she was just a nuisance to them.

But if her existence can only cause trouble, why should she exist.

If no one cares about her, what reason does she have to exist.

She can't see what the future looks like, because she doesn't seem to have a future at all, she's just lingering in the garbage dump.

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Yashen Chenglan once thought about ending everything.

Because her bicycle was broken and no one repaired it, it could only be rusted in the corner.

She obviously saw many times that parents in the park taught their children to ride bicycles.

They looked at the children staggering forward with worried eyes, and whenever a child fell to the ground, they would rush up to help the child up.

When the bike loses its chain, they put the chain back on.

If the child wants to give up, they will encourage the child to continue working hard.

Yagami Chenglan rides very well, she won't fall, she won't give up, and she won't make people worry.

She didn't understand why she couldn't get the care they had, even though she was doing better than those children.

So one day she fell down, and no one came up to help her up.

Her bike broke that day and instead of fixing it, she just let it sit there until it rusted.

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Yashen Chenglan once thought about ending everything.

Because when she came home, she said I'm back, but she didn't answer at all.

The room was empty, and her shadow fell on the floor alone, just like that, all alone.

She squatted at the door, smelling the stench of garbage in the room, and remained silent.

After a long time, she knew that it was time for her to throw out the trash.

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Yashen Chenglan once thought about ending everything.

Because she wanted to buy popsicles but had no money, the summer of that year was so hot that she stood under the tree for a long time.

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Yashen Chenglan once thought about ending everything.

Until, she picked up a stone on her balcony.

The stone was so small that she could hold it with one hand, it was very real, without any falsehood.

She made a wish to the stone, and after the wish, a man appeared in front of her.

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She was so close to death, but she had a simple breakfast.

When I woke up in the morning, the breeze was blowing, the air was full of the smell of bread, and a man wearing an apron called her in the room.

The breakfast was simple, not delicious, not even very flavorful, but she ate cleanly, even if she couldn't eat that much.

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She was dying once.

But she felt the warmth of that hand, felt the peace of something to rely on, felt the serious gaze looking at her, and that kind of almost slim expectation.

That is the expectation that only those who have seriously considered death can see.

It's like a person who is dying of thirst in the desert and drinks a drop of water.

Although it didn't make any sense, it gave her a reason to continue.

On the bus, Yagami Chenglan wore earphones with a cat pattern on it, looking at the scenery outside the window.

The street lamps beside the road were flickering reddish lights, and the streets of the city in the morning were blurred in the rain.

She held the schoolbag in her arms with a faint smile on her face.

What was in the bag was the bento that Chu had prepared for her last night.

I don't know how to keep the heat in the beginning. I put the food in a black box. Although I made it at night, it will be warm every time I eat it at noon the next day.

(It turns out that the heat preservation effect of evil is very good.)
The girl was already going to die, because if she died, she would not cause trouble to others, and she would not have to think so much.

Until, one day a guy who claimed to be a messenger said to her.

you are important to me.

The man's eyes were so serious that the girl couldn't tell the truth from the fake.

But this is a lie, maybe both of them knew it from the beginning.

It's just that one of them was seriously cheating, and the other was seriously being cheated.

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The messenger was like the most consummate trickster, weaving a beautiful lie carefully, telling the girl that you have a family.

She was so meticulous that she didn't reveal any flaws, and even tricked herself into it.

——— "The Moral Sin of Jealousy"

(End of this chapter)