messenger from the wasteland

Chapter 74
lonely.

This is the only thing Chu can feel at this time.

What seemed to be endless blackness engulfed her, enveloping her on all sides.

Her sense of touch was so completely deprived that she couldn't even feel where she was.

It was as if her soul had been put in a cage, and she could never touch anything outside again.

But her pain didn't disappear, the pain attached to her soul, corroding her soul, the pain made her want to howl.But she couldn't cry out, because she couldn't feel the existence of her own body.

The blackness closed her eyes, ears, nose and mouth, and during this time she was completely cut off from the outside world.

She was forced to feel the absolute loneliness.

Can't hear, can't see, can't smell, can't make a sound, can't even touch with hands.

She seems to have been abandoned by the world, thrown in a corner outside everything,
Even if she shouted loudly in this corner, begging for mercy in pain, no one or life would hear her voice.

But Chu didn't shout or beg for mercy. She understood that this was a punishment she should bear, a punishment of loneliness.

She lay quietly in the darkness, feeling the pain, the absolute loneliness and silence.

Until later, even the pain disappeared.

Losing the only companion in this silence, Chu was able to face this edgeless darkness soberly, and she faced and watched like this.

Nothing, nothing, in this pure loneliness, she began to doubt her own existence.

Her spirit was on the verge of collapse, but she never took the step towards collapse, because she understood that she existed and she had the meaning of her existence.

She is the messenger, a chosen villain, and she is atoning.

She wants to bear the crimes for others, she wants to bear the punishment for others, and all this before her is a kind of punishment.

At this time, she saw a light in this blackness, a light that suddenly appeared.

In the light, a voice appeared, a woman's voice.

"I don't believe in God, but I believe in faith, because faith can make people believe when there is nothing more to believe in, but God cannot."

"You can believe in me. In the beginning, I would like to bestow my glory on you and light your way."

It was Hillman's voice, which he could distinguish at first.

She really bestowed glory on Chu.

But at this time, this ray of light was like a sharp sword. The sharp sword in the Queen's hand pierced through the darkness, and fell in front of Chu, illuminating a path.

I don't know where the road leads to, but I only know that it leads into the deep darkness.

A cherry blossom flew from the end of the road and flew over the side of Chu's face. Another voice appeared, a girl's voice.

"Chu, don't go, okay?"

This is Sakura's voice.

Chu carried her on her back that day, she leaned on Chu's shoulder and asked this question, but at that time Chu could only keep silent.

Chu Chu recalled the day she left the girl again, in the fiery red maple leaves, Sakurako knelt in front of Jizo's corpse with a rusty knife in her hand, and asked with blank eyes.

"At the beginning, what is evil?"

Chu stood up and walked forward step by step in the direction the petals came from.

What is evil, she does not know, but she can take away the evil, she can take away the pain of the girl.

She thought so, so she walked along the road.

Walk along the road that is illuminated by light but leads to darkness.

If there must be someone who bears these pains.

The road became more and more rugged and bumpy. Chu fell to the ground again and again, and then got up again and continued to walk forward.

When she couldn't walk anymore, she fell down in the middle of the road. She was so tired that she couldn't even walk a step.

"Drip."

An electronic audio sounded in front of Chu's body, and she raised her head wearily.

In the darkness, she saw a rusty metal palm reaching out to her, as if trying to pull her up and pull her out of this lonely darkness.

She stretched out her hand with difficulty and held it on the metal palm.

The next moment, the darkness receded like a tide.

In addition to the sense of touch, Chu Chu felt the world again, her eyes regained light, she heard the hollow wind in her ears, and smelled the bloody smell in the air again.

She was lying on the wilderness of the apostles, in front of her eyes was the drowsy sky.

"You are doing well, Apostle."

In the sky, a voice came.

Lying there for the first time, she should be adapting to her changed body. Now she can't feel the existence of her body at all, but she can still manipulate her body actions through evil, just like a marionette.

It's going to be a bit of a hassle, and she'll have to get used to it for a while.

From this point of view, her body is becoming less and less like a person.

But she is no longer the apostle at the beginning.

"Are you still willing to continue?"

The voice once again asked Chu Chu this question.

The last time it asked, Chu answered yes, because missions were her only meaning.

But this time, Chu faced the sky and still nodded.

"I am willing."

She gave the same answer, but the reason for her answer seemed to be different.

"Then, get used to your body well, and I will come to you again on the next mission."

As he spoke, the voice was about to leave.

"that."

Chu suddenly stopped calling, and she staggered and stood up from the ground.

"Huh?" The voice stayed in mid-air, suspiciously waiting for Chu to continue.

"Yes." Chu raised his head, looking at the gloomy sky.

"Give me a light?"

This was the first time she asked for something from this voice.

The voice seemed to be taken aback for a moment, the original request was very strange, but for the apostles, it could have given better gifts.

But since the Chu has already made such a request, it has no reason to refuse.

"can."

The voice said so.

A small opening opened in the dark sky, and a ray of light fell from it, falling into this dark and gloomy world, and falling in front of Chu.

It was so different, so out of place with this wilderness.

"Thank you." Chu looked at the light and murmured.

"Yeah." The voice responded and left silently.

In the vast and desolate wilderness, in the dirty red land, the messenger stood alone, facing a tiny hole, looking up at the light.

Only her loneliness, no one can redeem.

······
God’s will asked the apostle three times, whether you are willing to continue to bear the sins of man, and the apostle only gave one answer, I am willing.

Is the messenger who was given the most evil name really a villain? ——"A Question from a Cleric"

(End of this chapter)