The Happy Life of Small Officials in Northern Song Dynasty

In the compound of Yangzhou Guancang.

A fat official and a young man in a strange blue official uniform stared at each other like a cockfight. Thousands of people queuing up to receive food all looked sideways, wondering which of the two officials was older and who could do it. Who can be suppressed, whether the grain can be received or not.

The fat official said coldly: "This strangely dressed person must be the Special Envoy of Food Affairs, right?"

Su Jin scolded: "Since you already know, why do you ask this question? There are so many nonsense."

The fat official didn't expect the young man to speak ill, but he was stunned. On weekdays, he was greeted and sent off in the officialdom, even though his stomach was twisted with hatred, he was still friendly on the surface, unlike this boy who would scold without hesitation. conventional.

The fat official's anger rose, and he suppressed himself: "My official Huainan East Road Cang Si Gou Dasheng is very polite. This official came to Yangzhou to inspect the storage market..."

Before he finished speaking, Su Jin interrupted: "Who cares about your official position? What does what you do in Yangzhou have anything to do with me? You don't need to report to this envoy."

Gou Dasheng got angry and shouted angrily: "You are really rude, I am a warehouse manager all the way, why should I report anything to you, I just want to tell you a few words for the sake of being an official in the same dynasty, if so, I will The officer has nothing to say to you."

"If you have nothing to say, don't say it. It is my shame to be an official in the same court as you." Su Jin said lightly, his eyes were as sharp as a falcon, staring at Gou Dasheng's fat face.

Gou Dasheng said angrily: "Hey, what the hell, do you think you are a big official? Look at your clothes, how can you look like an official like you? Do you think you are someone? No Inquiring about it, the officials treat you as a joke, a little envoy with no rank or rank, even on a temporary errand, dare to shout here, it's so fucking funny."

Su Jin laughed and said: "Yes, this envoy is an official with no rank and rank, but how can you control me? I am a rank and rankless official, and I belong to the Holy Lord, but you are a rank-[-] official." Senior official, but there are a lot of people in charge of you, are you convinced?"

Gou Dasheng was tongue-tied and speechless for a while, his face turned red, and he said: "Don't be complacent, you have already committed a severe punishment by offering military rations, and I don't care about you, but I can take care of things. After the approval of the official Lu Cangsi, not to mention the opening of the military grain warehouse, not only the approval of the Lu Cangsi, but also the need to report to the two governments and the third division to solve it together. You are still proud when you die, I really don’t know where you are Have the guts to come."

Su Jin smiled and said: "I'm so scary. I'm going to be scared to death by you. I'm the emperor's special envoy for grain affairs. All matters related to grain are handled cheaply. I don't care what military food and civilian food you have, or what kind of two Fucang Si, I'm an envoy on business, you step aside for me, you offend me, I'm not welcome."

Gou Dasheng was so angry that he couldn't talk to the idiot in front of him, he shouted loudly: "Where is the general defending here?"

Pan Jiang hurried over to pay respects, Gou Dasheng yelled angrily: "Whoever allows you to let others open military warehouses to help the people without permission, you have grown a few heads."

Pan Jiang cupped his hands and said: "This... the special envoy brought the official documents of the prefect of Song, and he dared not disobey his orders in his humble position." Pan Jiang was so wronged that he was about to die, and thought: I got a slap for this matter, Now there is another questioner, but today there are no people inside and outside.

Gou Dasheng said angrily: "Master Song's official document? Doesn't he know that this official document needs to be submitted for approval before he can act?"

Pan Jiangdao: "I don't know this little one, but it is indeed an adult's handwriting, and it is stamped with the great seal of Yangzhou Prefecture. How dare a humble official defy it."

Gou Dasheng said: "Don't tell me these things, I ordered you to close the official warehouse immediately, and drive out all these people. You must take back all the grains that have been released, otherwise, you Big trouble."

Pan Jiang cursed in his heart, you two officials are tossing about, teaching me to be caught in the middle is hard to be a man, to put it lightly, return all the bastards, take back all the food, the common people are afraid that they will cook the food when they go home Eat, not a single grain left?Could it be that your mother cut your stomach with a knife?

But seeing that Master Cangsi was so angry, how could he say such words, he had no choice but to agree, turned around and shouted: "Close the warehouse door, stop distributing rice, please come back, fellow villagers, you have heard Master Cangsi's words, let's go again!" Let the rice go, I'm going to lose my head."

Su Jin shouted loudly: "Pan Jiang, how dare you disobey the order of my envoy?"

Pan Jiang said in amazement: "Master Special Envoy, it's not like you haven't heard what Master Cangsi said, this..."

Su Jin shouted: "His words are words, so are his words fart?"

Pan Jiang spread his hands and said: "Then teach the humble staff how to handle the errands. In this way, the humble staff will stand aside, and the two adults can discuss it after negotiation?"

Pan Jiang turned around, facing the two of them with his buttocks, and stood in the corner by himself. His posture was very clear. If you two bite, whoever bites wins, I will listen to him.

Su Jin nodded and said, "Alright, I'm here to discuss with Master Cangsi."

After saying that, he stepped up to Gou Dasheng, looked at a black and purple whip mark on his fat face, and said, "Gou Cangsi, the wound on his face is not serious, why did you accidentally slap the whip on your face? It hurts to watch."

Gou Dasheng said angrily, "Who... the guy who hit me just now?"

Everyone searched around, and where there was the shadow of the man, Chao Dynasty disappeared without a trace under Su Jin's signal.

"Come on, go get that assassin and attack the imperial court official, is that okay?" Gou Dasheng shouted.

More than a dozen of his subordinates looked at each other and thought, "Where are we going to get him here? He has already run away and disappeared. Do you think you are in Shouzhou Mansion, the government office on Huainan Road?"It can be found out even if you hide in a dog hole for half an hour, this is Yangzhou.

Gou Dasheng stared and said, "Why don't you go?"

Su Jin laughed and said: "Idiot, let alone whether you can find him, so what if you find him? The whip is yours, and it is in your own hands. If you beat others, you will beat yourself if you are not skilled. How can you blame others for this? They didn't touch your whip at all, they just touched your hands, could it be that Mr. Cangsi is a young lady who hasn't left the court, and she can't even touch her hands?"

The common people burst out laughing, it could be seen that the little envoy was deliberately teasing this evil official, the common people's eyes were sharp, and their emotions were simple, they turned towards whoever treated them well, seeing the two People are facing each other, and the people present are naturally all on Su Jin's side.

Gou Dasheng gritted his teeth and shouted, "What are you laughing at, I'll peel your skin off."

The common people were frightened by his ferocious appearance and quickly fell silent. Su Jin sneered and said, "Good skill, Mr. Gou is good at bullying the common people. The official authority is greater than the emperor's Longwei."

Gou Dasheng said: "This group of mud-legged people stole the food from the official warehouse, and they smashed together a few days ago. If you don't treat them as bandits, you will be taking advantage of them, and you need to be polite to them."

Su Jin said: "It's no wonder that you are so cruel to the unarmed people. It is because of evil officials like you that the world of Song Dynasty will never be clear. To put it bluntly, you are worse than pigs and dogs."

Gou Dasheng's face turned pale with anger, and he roared hysterically: "How dare you call me a pig or a dog? You are also a little beast."

Su Jin said: "Wrong, I didn't call you a pig or a dog. You are not as good as a pig or a dog. I am a beast. You are not as good as a beast."

Gou Dasheng was about to go crazy, he yelled: "If you don't make it clear today, I won't have sex with you."

Su Jin looked at his deformed face and said: "Do you really want me to explain clearly? There is nothing left and right, so I will analyze it for you; what are you wearing? What are you eating? Can you answer me? Is it?"

Gou Dasheng said angrily: "Are you a fool who doesn't care about crops or crops when you are an official? I know what you want to say. These are all the grace of the emperor. The emperor gave me a salary. It's as simple as this official doing things for the emperor."

Su Jin sneered: "Where does the emperor's salary come from?"

Gou Dasheng said: "Of course the common people farm and weave, and the imperial court collects tax money and distributes it."

Su Jin smiled and said: "That's right, the common people grow cotton and raise silkworms, weaving and cutting day and night will have the clothes on your body, the common people cultivate the land, care for the seedlings with their faces facing the loess and their backs facing the sky, and only after hard harvesting can you have the clothes in your belly." Shi, do you think you are raised by ordinary people?"

Gou Dasheng was a little confused by him, blinked his eyes and said: "Yes...but..."

Su Jin interrupted him and said: "You admit that you are still a bit human. If the people use these grains to raise pigs and dogs, will these pigs and dogs bite them back when they grow up?"

Gou Dasheng said: "Of course not, but..."

Su Jin said: "It's good if you admit it. Pigs and dogs will not bite back when they are fed by their masters, but will return something to their masters. Pigs can be sold as meat when they are fat, and dogs can be guarded by dogs when they grow up. They are loyal to their masters." , but you ate the people's clothes and wore the people's clothes, but turned around and beat and scolded the people who fed and clothed you. You are not a pig or a dog, but what is it? Your surname is also a dog, and a dog is also a dog, but your dog is An ungrateful dog, disgrace to your other dogs."

After Su Jin finished speaking, the audience roared with laughter. Even the soldiers standing on the other side couldn't hold it back. They covered their mouths with their scabbards and laughed.