Alliance: Start Suona, send away the stupid sister Zhou

"The male contestant named Li Dacong performed well. His singing voice was delicate and ethereal. Even many female contestants find it difficult to sing as smoothly as this."

"Our four judges also gave an average score of 93. Obviously, Li Dacong will be one of the strong competitors in this audition."

"Next, let us welcome the next contestant, Xu Mo!"

The host said, looking at the contestant channel with a smile on his face.

Just a few seconds passed and the passage was still empty.

"Please welcome the next contestant, Xu Mo." He repeated again.

The host was a little confused. Logically speaking, there wouldn't be any big shot in the auditions, right? Could it be that some playful young man came?

The director backstage also noticed this problem.

The program is now being broadcast live, and if the contestants delay for a few seconds, the ratings may drop.

Thinking of this, the middle-aged director with a beard quickly came to the contestant lounge.

"Is Xu Mo here?"

"Is Xu Mo here? Is Xu Mo here?"

A voice with a hint of anger and tenderness rang out in the lounge.

A group of audition contestants all looked at the director, then glanced around.

They also want to see which guy is so bold as to ignore the program crew.

Just as everyone was looking around, the young man in the corner rubbed his eyes and woke up dazedly: "Who called me? Do I have to go to the morning eight?"

The bearded director saw the young man who spoke and was about to scold him, but when he saw the handsome face, his eyes lit up and he gave up the idea of ​​scolding.

He walked quickly to the young man, grabbed his wrist, and pulled him out: "Hurry, it's your turn."

The young man stood up in a daze, glanced at the round-faced bearded man who was pulling him, and looked at the surrounding environment, with a look of obvious confusion on his face.

No, what is this for me?

Is this a dream?

He pinched his hand hard.

"Hmm~~" A light snort came from the front, and the bearded man turned his head and said resentfully, "I didn't expect you to see through this, but you pinched me and hurt me."

Xu Mo:?
Xu Mo quickly shook off the other person's hand, and had some guesses about his registered place of residence: "Hello, where are you from?"

"Hey, let's talk about this personal matter later. Go and compete first. Everyone is waiting. I'm waiting for you too."

After saying that, the man pushed Xu Mo into the passage in front.

With goose bumps all over his body, Xu Mo walked out of the passage with his head held high and saw a huge stage.

On the big screen above the stage was written "Welcome to watch the auditions for the "Singer" program."

There were about one or two hundred spectators under the stage.

Xu Mo fully realized the seriousness of the problem.

As a college student, he has always been self-disciplined. Not only does he insist on playing games for more than three hours every day, he also insists on reading novels until midnight.

It can be said that he has read more novels than the number of times Ah San has favored Lizard Sister.

At this moment, Xu Mo had a bold guess - travel through time?

This guess seemed to have touched a switch, and a huge amount of memories flooded into my mind.

After a moment, Xu Mo was completely certain that he had really traveled through time.

This is a parallel world called Blue Star——Dian!

His predecessor was also called Xu Mo. He was an ordinary young man with a dream of music, but his singing level was only average. His advantage was his extremely high appearance, so he also had a girlfriend who was well-known in the entertainment industry, named Xu Qianqian.

The reason why the predecessor came to participate in "Good Singer" was because his girlfriend Xu Qianqian, with whom he had been dating for two and a half years, hooked up with a young hunk, so he proposed to break up, but the predecessor persisted and refused to let go.

After some entanglement, Xu Qianqian made a request, saying that as long as her predecessor could win the championship of "Good Singer", she would consider giving him a chance to get back together.

Even with this almost impossible requirement, the predecessor who didn't have any C numbers still signed up...

From memory, Xu Mo also learned that the judging panel for "Singer" this time was unprecedentedly strong. The four mentors were all well-known figures in the music field, including the 24-year-old queen Shen Shihan, who was known as the "youngest" and "most beautiful" in history.

Well, Shen Shihan, who is only 24 years old, is not only a queen of pop, but also a child star who has starred in many TV series. With both talent and beauty, she is regarded as a goddess and idol by countless male and female compatriots.

The predecessor was one of Shen Shihan's loyal fans.

In order to prepare for this performance in front of his idol, coupled with his reluctance to part with and longing for his ex-girlfriend, he has been suffering from insomnia and staying up late recently.

When he was about to go on stage, he was too nervous and his breathing quickened. He couldn't catch his breath and died.

What’s interesting is that over the past two and a half years, my predecessor gave all his savings to his ex-girlfriend Xu Qianqian, but he never even touched her hand a few times, let alone did anything.

"Sure enough, a bootlicker can't get a house!" Xu Mo cursed in his heart, "Don't you even leave some money for me to eat."

As Xu Mo was sorting out his memories, the host on the stage handed him a microphone: "Come on, introduce yourself first, and what song you will perform for everyone today."

Xu Mo took the microphone, feeling a little embarrassed.

Before traveling through time, he was just an ordinary handsome college student with no artistic talent.

Even though we know them through memory, many classic songs on Earth do not exist in this world.

But Xu Mo is just an ordinary person. It’s good enough for him to remember one or two lines of lyrics for each song, not to mention the melody.

Or maybe just say a few perfunctory words and slip away?

【Ding! 】

[It is detected that the host is extremely thick-skinned and has strong stress resistance, which meets the system requirements]

[Top stream torture system is binding...]

Code!
It can only be said to be a classic among classics!

The voice that suddenly appeared in his mind made Xu Mo perk up.

As expected, there is no time traveler without a system.

But who is this system saying is thick-skinned? It's pure slander!

[Top flow torture system binding successful]

[Detection host is participating in the "Good Singer" audition, reward novice gift package, do you want to open it? ]

"Yes!"

[Rewards: Universal Song Card X1, Singing Skill Card X1]

[Universal Song Card: After use, the host can choose any song from Earth and automatically obtain the lyrics and melody]

[Singing card: After use, the host's singing skills can be improved to the top level, valid for 15 minutes]

Xu Mo was very satisfied that someone would bring him a pillow whenever he felt sleepy.

Although the singing card can only be used for fifteen minutes, it is more than enough to show off in this audition.

As for what song to choose... that's a problem...

Should I choose Jay's, JJ's, or Vae's?
There are so many options to choose from.

Just copy any of their classic songs. I may not be able to kill people in this world, but I'll definitely have no problem passing the auditions.

Just as Xu Mo was thinking, the system voice in his mind sounded again:
[Host is detected to be unconscious, triggering the novice task]

[Task requirements: Collect more than 100 torture points, reward: Permanent Image Transformation Card x1, and open the system mall]

Xu Mo frowned slightly, and asked in his heart: "What is the torture point?"

[Any host who causes others to feel tortured through their own behavior can gain torture points. The more famous a person is, the more torture points he will provide.]

[Note: All actions of the host must not violate moral laws, including but not limited to: gambling, drugs, defecating in public, repeated consumption of enoki mushrooms, etc....]

Xu Mo roughly understood that this was not a serious system.

If you want to torment the audience, then you definitely cannot choose songs by J, J, and V, as none of them can torment people.

While Xu Mo was still thinking about what song could torture people, the host's voice sounded again: "Contestant, I must remind you that you only have three minutes in total."

During the auditions, contestants will not be required to sing a whole song.

Most contestants only need to sing half a song after they go on stage and introduce themselves.

The four mentors present are all experts in the field of music. They can tell the level of the contestants as soon as they open their mouths, without even needing to listen to half a song.

Chapter 2 The most torturous song!

Xu Mo also put away his thoughts, put the microphone to his lips, and prepared to introduce himself first:
"Hello everyone, my name is Xu Mo..."

"I come from an ordinary rural family. When I was very young..."

As Xu Mo spoke, his voice became increasingly low, and he even choked up a little.

The program crew also had a good understanding and directly played a sad BGM.

at the same time.

In the live broadcast rooms of the "Good Singer" program on platforms such as Douyin, Weibo, and Bilibili, viewers watching the live broadcast have already started typing greetings on the barrage: "Fuck, they start this again."

"Can you please not have every contestant come up with a sympathetic performance? It's so disgusting."

"This guy's acting is more exaggerated than the other contestants. It makes me want to cry just watching him."

"This guy named Xu Mo is pretty, but he really ruins the impression by acting pitiful right off the bat."

"I originally thought he was handsome and wanted to be a fan, but now it seems I'd better forget it."

“Where did the program crew find the people?”

"..."

Not just the audience.

Even the four judges on the stage frowned when they saw Xu Mo's actions.

Especially the only female judge on the field, Shen Shihan, whose eyes were filled with undisguised disgust.

As the youngest queen in history, what she hates most is those contestants who try to gain sympathy right from the start.

This was the umpteenth one she had seen today.

The person in charge of this program team also has a problem with his brain. Whenever a contestant plays the victim, he will cooperate with them and play the BGM.

This is a show that tests one's ability, not a show that tests who can play the victim more.

Although she was very angry, because of her position as a judge, Shen Shihan could only suppress her annoyance and was forced to listen to the contestant named Xu Mo's performance of pitifulness.

But as Xu Mo spoke, her expression changed subtly...even the corners of her mouth twitched slightly.

because……

“When I was very young, I was born.”

"And in the first year after I was born, I couldn't even take care of myself or live independently."

“You can only get to where you want to go by crawling every day.”

Shen Shihan's eyebrows twitched, and she always felt that something was wrong.

The background music is still as sad as ever, and the contestant's deep voice also sounds extremely pitiful.

But what this player said...

Why does it sound more and more wrong the more I listen?
On the stage, the contestant did not stop because of the changes in the expressions of the people around him, and continued to output:
“I can’t even sleep when I’m walking.”

“When I breathe in, I can’t even breathe out.”

"Even so, I still insist on living... and came to participate in this audition. I don't want to prove anything, I just want to prove that I am still alive... huh..."

Xu Mo sobbed as he spoke, as if he felt extremely aggrieved.

The host next to him turned purple in the face after hearing this...he was trying so hard to hold back his laughter.

Finally, despite being a veteran and well-trained man, he couldn't help himself: "Puff..."

On the judging panel, the four judges also couldn't help laughing.

Especially Shen Shihan, she laughed out loud without caring about her image: "Hahaha..."

"Good, good irony!" Shen Shihan exclaimed in her heart.

She thought that the contestant in front of her would start crying like most of the previous contestants, but he ended up giving everyone this kind of show.

In Shen Shihan's opinion, this was obviously a satire on those contestants who had previously played the victim, and even more so a satire on the program production team's inaction in dealing with the contestants' playing the victim.

She decided that no matter how bad Xu Mo's singing was, she would give this guy an extra 0.5 points for impression.

Of course, it’s not just a few judges.

At this time, the audience in the audience also burst into laughter.

As for the audience on the live broadcast platform, the screen is already filled with question marks.

"??"

"???"

""Alive""

"Fuck, this player knows how to talk nonsense."

"I would like to call him the God of nonsense literature!"

"This is the first time in my life that I've heard such philosophical nonsense, and I can't refute it."

"I am worse off than him. I was born to be someone's grandson."

"This is a blatant mockery. Those contestants who played the victim before don't know if their faces are going to get burned."

"I misunderstood. At first I thought he was going to play the same sympathy game as the previous contestants."

"If I were a judge, I would give full marks to this guy named Xu Mo."

"If I were the richest man, I would directly transfer 100 yuan to his account!"

"Shihan is so beautiful. If she could marry me, I would be willing to drive a luxury car and live in a luxury house."

"Those with diabetes, please don't go up first. Don't let the people upstairs get the advantage. I, who have uremia, will go first!"

"..."

Xu Mo's nonsense literature aroused the interest of the audience, but to some people, it sounded a bit harsh.

For example, the contestants backstage.

Eight out of ten contestants participating in the competition today performed poorly at the start.

Xu Mo's conspicuous behavior was undoubtedly a slap in their faces.

Many contestants were already cursing silently in their hearts.

But what they don’t know is that Xu Mo’s ideas are actually very simple.

The reason he did this was purely to delay time so that he could have enough time to think about the song selection.

Trying to find a song that's a little tormenting.

At first, Xu Mo wanted to sing a German version of "The Little Crocodile Song", but this song was somewhat insulting to the Dragon people.

After some thought, Xu Mo finally made a decision. He decided to sing a heavenly song——

At this moment, the host, who had finally suppressed his laughter, walked over to Xu Mo and said, "It can be seen that this is a very humorous contestant. I want to ask you, what song are you going to sing for everyone today?"

Xu Mo replied: "The song I'm going to sing next is a song called "Lost Rivers"."

This is Xu Mo's choice after careful consideration.

If you want to torture someone, there is probably no song more suitable than this one.

"Lost Rivers?" The host thought for a moment and made sure he had no impression of it, but he didn't care too much about it and just thought it was an ordinary foreign song.

It is not uncommon for contestants to sing songs in foreign languages.

"The stage is now yours, please start your performance." After the host said this, he stepped aside, leaving only Xu Mo standing in the center of the stage.

Facing the director's camera, Xu Mo quickly communicated with the system in his mind:
"System, use the 'Universal Song Card' to redeem 'Lost Rivers'."

"Use the singing card!"

[The universal song card was used successfully, and all information of the song "Lost Rivers" has been extracted]

[Singing card is used successfully, the host's singing skills will be upgraded to the top level within 15 minutes]

As the system sounded, the melody and singing style of the song "Lost Rivers" also appeared in my mind.

At the same time, a magical feeling enveloped Xu Mo, and his throat felt extremely cool, making him feel like he could sing any song.

At the same time, the four mentors on the stage looked at each other tacitly.

Because they had never heard the song "Lost Rivers", it felt very unfamiliar.

There were many contestants who chose foreign language songs, but he was the only one who chose such an unpopular foreign language song.

Shen Shihan also frowned slightly, thinking that this contestant named Xu Mo was not as interesting as she had imagined, but rather a proud person.

Are you trying to show how unique you are by choosing a super unpopular song that no one has even heard of?
Are you still not confident about Chinese songs?
Shen Shihan shook her head slightly, feeling quite disappointed, and the slight good impression she had previously had instantly vanished.

"Let's get started," she urged expressionlessly.

Under everyone's gaze, Xu Mo in front of the camera picked up the microphone.

The next moment, Xu Mo opened his mouth and began to chant:
"Hmm~~~~"

“Hmm~~~~~~~~~”

Shen Shihan:?

host:?

Audience: ??? (End of this chapter)