i have a mountain

Chapter 153 Remarriage Fear

What are you thinking?What kind of life do you want in the future?This is also a question Yu Fei has been thinking about. Telling others that he wants to live with the flow is actually a manifestation of evasion.

Some people say that for a man to be truly mature, he must experience a decent failure, an unforgettable lovelorn, a difficult and painful choice, and a thrilling adventure. See, the right to divorce is a survival exercise.

Some people also say that divorce will definitely cause harm, but it must also be a turning point.

Although we may know that the passive person may be hurt more in the analysis, we must also know in the adjustment after divorce: the biggest challenge is not to fall into the quagmire of who is hurt the most, but to perceive and face For hurt and hope, think of divorce as a stage of growth.

But no one thought that no matter how much pain and shock the man suffered when the woman filed for divorce, he could neither cry nor complain to relatives and friends, and even asked relatives and friends to conceal the process of divorce.

So divorce is a huge social pressure for men. Although they pretend to be indifferent on the surface, deep down they have to fight with pain and emptiness. As a result, some people suffer from depression or lose enthusiasm for work.

Of course, these do not represent all divorced men. Although Yu Fei has also experienced these psychological processes, he persisted in the end and successfully shifted his attention to the farm.

Of course, the emergence of space is a catalyst and a turning point in his life, but a self-protection mechanism in his heart has quietly unfolded at some point.

Like a hedgehog, after being hurt, it will open all the thorns all over its body. At this time, it can talk and live with its own kind, but it dare not let go of its guard again, lest it get too close and get hurt again.

Perhaps this is also related to what happened to him when he was a child. Before that, he had 100% trust in a certain person or a certain thing, and never had the slightest doubt.

That was his first year in middle school. At that time, there were two middle schools in the town, which had not been merged together. His father chose a school a little closer to his home for him to attend classes. Later, for his study consideration, he arranged I asked him to live in school at night, so that he could study by himself in the evening.

At that time, his cousin was in the third grade of that school, and he had lived in the school for two years. His father let him live with his cousin so that they could take care of each other. It was Yu Fei who was living outside for the first time. It was exciting at first.

But not long after, when Yu Fei returned to the dormitory excitedly after evening self-study, he found that there was only a big cold lock on the door. Waiting outside the bedroom door.

But when all the lights in the teaching building were turned off, my cousin hadn’t come back yet. He started to panic and searched around the campus anxiously, but he still couldn’t find it. It was already late at night, and he was only 13 years old at the time. , I dare not cry, and I dare not walk home alone at night.

Until the night watchman found him, who happened to be his English teacher, and took him to the duty room to sleep after some understanding. It was still winter, and the quilt was really warm in my memory.

It was only the next day that I found out that my cousin had something to go home last night. Listening to his explanation and seeing his guilty expression, Yu Fei kept saying that he was fine and did not tell his family about it.

It’s just that since then, every time after school at night, he will stand at the door of the classroom and look at the dormitory. If there are people inside, he will go to the evening self-study with peace of mind. If he can’t see anyone, he will go home as soon as possible. .

Going home more times, my father will inevitably be unhappy, thinking that he is not studying hard, and despite his father's reprimand, he has not refuted, and has been coping with it in silence. At that time, he rebelliously thought it was all his father's fault .

Since then, he has had one more problem. As long as he is deceived or hurt by one thing or one person, he will completely negate all the trust and relationships he has established before. Maybe this is what people say. .

So now he has a great distrust of marriage, or women.

"You have been waiting for a long time, can you say something?" Old man Zhang said dissatisfied.

"I guess he's thinking about the two little girls who just left today." Ao Wei made up for it.

"Get lost, am I that kind of person?" Yu Fei said to Aowei.

Then he said to old man Zhang: "I really don't know what kind of life I want now, I just think it's pretty good now."

Old man Zhang glanced at him and said, "Maybe you feel fine now, but what about after a while? And Guoguo is growing up day by day, so what should you do?"

Aowei suddenly said: "You won't give back...that...that who still has hope?"

Of course Yu Fei knew who he was talking about, and said angrily: "What do you think? There is no way to turn back on a broken road, and I don't want to live with my own footprints."

Ao Wei scratched his head and said, "It's a bit esoteric, but it seems that I understand a little bit, but since you don't plan to reunite, why don't you start a new life?"

Yu Fei sighed and did not speak.

Old man Zhang pondered for a while and said: "Is it because you are afraid that the life after remarriage will not be what you want, or that you will go the old way again, or that you no longer yearn for the life after marriage. side people."

Yu Fei's eyes lit up, he had lived most of his life after all, although there was no great reason, but it really hit his heart.

He was forced to divorce, which was a big blow to him. A man is strong, but also very fragile. Of course, this is for a man who takes his feelings very seriously.

Even after a period of adjustment, there will always be some kind of doubt in the heart towards women subconsciously. If the next woman can't break this distrust well, then for him, remarriage may be quite important. difficulty.

Seeing Yu Fei like this, old man Zhang didn't understand anything. He looked at him and said, "You are a bit extreme. You can't deny the work of a worker who fried melon seeds for a day just because he ate a rotten melon seed. Those who challenge the same boat."

"I don't want to be like this either, but I just can't control what I think." Yu Fei said: "It's hard for me to easily build trust in a woman after I've been hurt once, although I know it's wrong, but It just can't be changed."

"Actually, sometimes I have thought about starting a family with Fangfang, but whenever I want to go further, I always have some hesitation. I don't know what my future life will be like? There may even be a kind of Sense of fear."

"This kind of fear may be like a seed, buried deep in my heart, perhaps inadvertently, a word, a quarrel, this seed will germinate, and all the trust that has been built up before will be crushed. Lose."

"In my life before I was crushed, I felt like I was floating all the time. I didn't have that down-to-earth feeling. I even felt that everything was imaginary. Like a castle on the beach, it would collapse with a slight push."

Old man Zhang sighed and said, "It seems that you still haven't stepped out of the shadow of the past."

Ao Wei suddenly said: "You are called remarriage phobia."

kindness? ? ? ? ? ?

Both Yu Fei and old man Zhang looked at him, Ao Wei swallowed quietly and said: "I remember seeing it somewhere before, saying that divorced people have an inexplicable fear and sense of unreality when they remarry , known as remarriage phobia."

"I've only heard of premarital phobia." Yu Fei said, "What is remarriage phobia?"

"Wait a minute." Aowei said, taking out his mobile phone and fiddling for a while.

Old man Zhang picked up the wine glass and touched Yu Fei. The two had just taken a sip of Aowei and said: "Phobia is originally called phobic neurosis. , producing uncharacteristic fears and jitters which can lead to..."

Yu Fei interrupted him with a troubled expression, "Are you planning to open a psychological consultation room?"

Old man Zhang said: "Choose the key points."

Ao Wei smiled embarrassedly and said, "I'm not planning to find fault with him from the source."

Yu Fei said with a dark face: "I'm fine, but if you continue like this, I'll make you sick."

Ao Wei straightened his body, cleared his throat and continued to look at the phone and said: "From a psychological point of view, people who have been hurt mentally are most afraid of being hurt again.

There is a kind of fear in the psychological consciousness, and the first question to consider when encountering a new love is: will it be like before?If so, I would rather not find a partner and be single until I grow old.

It's not whether the conditions of the two parties are good or bad. The key problem is that the trust between the remarried men and women has been greatly reduced. Once bitten by a snake, they will be afraid of well ropes for ten years.

Having experienced the hardships of marriage and the crime of betrayal, I know the circumstances, signs, and excuses of cheating. I hope that the other party will give me a high profile first, give myself a contribution, and give myself a determined answer first. "

After Aowei finished speaking, he looked at the two people present and said nothing more.

The old man Zhang who was listening with great interest asked, "No more?"

Ao Wei coughed twice and said, "Shouldn't there be applause here?"

Yu Fei hit him with chopsticks and said, "Hurry up, finish it once, or don't say it. Although you read it from other places, the summary is very good, and every sentence hits the point. It's not like me, who said something here and there."

"Read it carefully, let me listen to it, and if it can play a certain role, I will reward you with a bottle of Qingyin tomorrow."

(End of this chapter)