i have a mountain

Chapter 232 Guoguo's Thoughts

Yu Fei immediately became curious, what kind of game is this little girl playing inside?

He opened a corner of the curtain and looked inside through a little gap, and saw two dogs and two rabbits sitting in a row in front of Guoguo, and there were many bright red strawberries in the basket at Guoguo's feet.

Now she was holding a strawberry, and said in her mouth: "This time it's Xiaohui."

As she spoke, she threw the strawberry into the air, and then several animals raised their heads to look at the strawberry at the same time, and the other three did not move, only the rabbit named Xiao Hui jumped up, opened its mouth in the air, and caught the strawberry. The strawberry then fell lightly to the ground.

Guoguo cheered, then patted Xiaohui on the head and said it was awesome.

Yu Fei saw this scene in addition to being surprised, and more heartbroken. This little girl seems to be careless all day long, but in fact she has no friends except Xiaoyingzi. She doesn't care about those little boys rolling in the mud. willing to play with them.

There are two or even three children in other people's families. Although they sometimes fight and fight, they will never be alone. Even if they have one child, they will be accompanied by their mother at home, and there are still people who can act like a baby.

Although I can create better living conditions for her, I can't give her a complete home, and sometimes I leave her to my grandparents because of this or that. They really love this little granddaughter, but they always love her emotionally. It's a generation behind...

Just when Yu Fei regained his thoughts, Guoguo in the shed was squatting down and playing with the rabbit ears while murmuring: "Xiaohui, grandma told me that my father and mother are divorced, although I don't know what divorce means, But I watched TV."

"It says that divorced parents don't live together anymore, and children either follow their fathers, or their mothers, and some of their grandparents."

"Since I live with my father and grandparents, it must be that my mother doesn't want us, but why? Did my father do something wrong? Or am I disobedient? Why doesn't she want us?"

Hearing this, Yu Fei's heart twitched a few times, as if someone had grabbed the softest part of his heart. He really wanted to rush in, hold his daughter in his arms, and tell her that your mother doesn't want us anymore. , Dad will love you and spoil you for the rest of his life.

But he suppressed this impulse. On the one hand, he was afraid of scaring his daughter, and on the other hand, he wanted to hear her daughter's thoughts. She never said these words usually.

"...Have you ever seen a person who can cry in sleep? I have." Guoguo continued: "When I slept with my father several times, I was woken up by him. I was terrified, but then I realized he didn't mean it."

"It is said in TV dramas that only those who are hurt the most will cry when they are unconscious. I think my father must be very sad."

Yu Fei was puzzled, did he?Why did he have no memory, did he really cry in his sleep?And how many times?

"... Sometimes I want to cry when I miss my mother, but I don't dare to cry, I'm afraid my father will be even more sad when he finds out..."

"I have envied Xiaoyingzi many times. She said that she has no father, but her mother is very kind to her. Although my father is also very kind to me, I still envy her."

Guoguo hugged the big dog's neck and continued: "When I was put to sleep by Aunt Fangfang's arms yesterday, I realized how comfortable it was to be put to sleep by my mother. I don't want to be like my stinky father. Throw me on the bed and don't know how to hug me."

Yu Fei grinned, is he that bad?
"...I really want to have a mother who can coax me to sleep like this every day, but I am afraid that I will meet those stepmothers who can beat others. I am afraid of pain. I have never been beaten until now, but the last time It hurt me for days when I got to the table..."

"Actually, what I want most is that my mother can come back, but I know that's impossible, because it's always said so on TV, what to say..."

Guoguo scratched her head and thought for a long time, then said: "A horse doesn't eat the grass behind its head or something, even if a horse walks past, it won't eat the grass behind its head, it seems that's what it means. "

Yu Fei added in his heart: A good horse never turns back.

"...Actually, I don't remember much about my mother. I only remember seeing her for a few days during the Chinese New Year every year. Grandma said that she brought me up alone."

Guoguo suddenly said to the two gray rabbits: "But grandma obviously has two hands, why does she say that one hand brings her up? Is that so?"

As she spoke, she stretched out her hand to pick up Big Hui's or Xiao Hui's ear, and lifted it up and said, "Is this how you brought it up with one hand? Could it be that when I was a child, I was carried by my grandma every day?"

As she spoke, she touched her ear with the other hand and said, "But my ears are not long, how did grandma carry them?"

The four little animals listened to her obediently, and even the raised rabbit didn't struggle at all. Only then did Yu Fei understand why those animals on the farm listened to Guoguo so much.

She completely treats these animals as friends, giving them a share of delicious food, and telling them what she has to say, in exchange for the loyalty of these little ones.

"...Xiaoyingzi is also very pitiful. She said that someone bullied her and she didn't dare to say anything, and she didn't dare to tell her mother. She said that she was afraid that her mother would also be bullied by those bad guys. I am not afraid. If anyone dares to bully me I'll beat him up first, and if it doesn't work, I'll tell my dad."

Guoguo continued: "Anyway, my father dared to fight with others. Grandpa told me that he fought when he was in school."

Yu Fei outside the door suddenly felt a dark cloud drifting by, why did his father tell Guoguo about his dark history?

"...I just want to live together with my father, Aunt Fangfang and Xiaoyingzi. When I go to bed at night, I can be coaxed to sleep by Aunt Fangfang with Xiaoyingzi, and then my father and I can protect them ..."

Guoguo in the shed continued to talk to the four little ones.

"If my father finds me a stepmother with a bad temper, I will be miserable. Then I can only live with my grandparents. Otherwise, I will be beaten very badly, just like that swallow, so terrible... "

Yu Fei thought for a long time outside the door, but he didn't think of the swallow, probably Guoguo saw it in the TV series again.

Guoguo put her arms around the big dog's neck, lay on him weakly and said, "What should I do..."

Hearing this, Yu Fei felt that he should have a good talk with her about this topic. He avoided talking about it before because he felt that the child was still young and she should not be allowed to face such complicated social issues.

But after hearing what she said today, I realized that the interview I saw a while ago was not nonsense.

It mentioned that the harm that divorce brings to children at this stage of toddlers and preschoolers often manifests itself as a strong sense of guilt, feeling that the separation of parents is due to their own fault and caused by their own misbehavior.

"It must be because I am disobedient that my parents don't want me."

Moreover, it is easy to have some negative emotions such as inferiority complex, abandonment, resentment, etc., which will affect their communication activities with their peers to a certain extent, and finally affect their interpersonal communication, causing their psychological defects and increasing the difficulty of companionship. big.

When Yu Fei first saw this passage, he didn't have the slightest sense of approval. He felt that children at this stage don't understand anything at all, and divorce is like listening to heavenly scriptures when they were young.

But at this time, he agrees with these words very much, because many things have been fulfilled in Guoguo's body.

Friends are scarce, and the only friend who has the same fate is Xiaoyingzi. Although she has no inferiority complex, she has been using force to solve the problems encountered in life.

The most important point is that she blamed more than half of the reasons for her parents' divorce on herself, and she was always looking for her own faults.

Yu Fei wanted to rush in at this moment and tell her that your mother chose to leave because of her lack of self-improvement.

But the moment he entered the door, he flinched. He had no idea what to say, how to start it, and how to solve these things.

Due to his emotional fluctuations, he moved a little louder outside the door, and immediately there was a deep whimpering sound from inside the shed, and he was discovered by the two dogs inside.

Just when Yu Fei wanted to hide, Guoguo came out with the four little ones, and when she saw her father, she held up the basket in her hand and said happily: "Dad, look, I picked a lot of strawberries. Take it home and feed it to your grandparents."

Yu Fei grinned, forced a smile and said, "Okay, my Guoguo is the most capable."

The smile on Guoguo's face gradually disappeared. She put down the basket, walked up to Yu Fei and said with her face up, "Dad, what's wrong with you? Are you unhappy?"

Yu Fei rubbed his face, trying to get rid of all his emotions, took a deep breath and said: "It's okay, I just thought that the grass in our field grew too much, so I felt a little bit in a hurry."

Guoguo turned her head and glanced at the green bellflower and said, "Didn't you ask Aunt Fangfang to find someone to pull the weeds in the afternoon?"

Yu Fei nodded and said, "Yes, but I'm afraid there won't be enough staff."

"Didn't you still ask the village head grandpa to help you find someone?" Guoguo said, "He knows a lot of people, and he can call to help us weed when the time comes, and..."

Guoguo rolled her eyes twice and said, "Isn't there still me? Don't look at me as a child. I work very hard. I won't be like the [-]-year-old grandma."

Yu Fei was immediately amused, the Eighteen Points is a famous local scenery, especially in winter, it is the most common in the fields where bellflowers are dug.

(End of this chapter)