A hundred flavors of life

Chapter 941: Emei appointed a minor official, and the long eyebrows pierced the intestines! (Please subscribe!)

It has been a long tradition for emperors to deify gods. This was the case for Lord Guan, Mazu, and Yue Wangye. Therefore, Hua Twelve's idea was extremely feasible. The immortals nodded on the surface but secretly warned themselves not to offend the emperor in the future, especially this thing in front of them. Not only themselves, but they also had to remind their disciples when they returned.

Zhang Tianshi was even more exaggerated. He had already decided in his heart that he would go back and write this in the sect rules. As long as Hua Twelve was on the throne, the Tianshi Mansion would always stand by him.

It has to stand. Just look at the Emei Sect. Before the arrival of the Dharma Ending Age, it was a sect of cultivation that was destined to flourish. Such a sect should have dominated the world of cultivation, killing gods and Buddhas. But look at it now, it is almost destroyed, and there is not even the slightest sign of prosperity.

If there were no way to assist the Later Jin, Emei and Daxing would only become a laughing stock. Even if they assisted the Later Jin, looking at the methods of the current emperor, Emei's chances of winning would be slim.

Seeing that his idea was not opposed by the earthly immortals, Hua Shier felt it was feasible, so he asked the two state masters to set an auspicious date for the deification ceremony.

At night, Hua Shier slept with Qian Song Yi and helped her complete the most important part of her life after building her foundation.

  I have to say that Fuso and Goryeo each have their own style, but the common feature is that they are more relaxed when playing, ahem, it's cultivation, don't get me wrong, it's cultivation!

It was already three o'clock in the morning when he fell asleep. In a daze, Hua Twelve heard someone calling him outside.

  He got up, opened the door and walked outside. He saw three beautiful figures standing in the courtyard under the moonlight. They were all extremely beautiful. When they saw Hua Shier, they all bowed:

"The three of us, sisters, greet the Emperor!"

Hua Twelve didn't know why he felt familiar with these three people, but he couldn't remember where he had seen them before, so he couldn't help but ask:

"Who are you? Why are you entering the palace so late at night?"

Among the three girls, the younger one snorted, "It's all because of your recklessness."

Before she could finish her words, she was glared at by the woman who was older than her, so she dared not say anything more.

  The older woman, who looked to be in her twenties, had gentle eyes and eyebrows. She said to Hua Twelve:

"Emperor, you are the Son of Heaven on Earth, shepherding the people on behalf of Heaven, and you are the voice of Heaven. What you think and what you want must have the potential to resonate with Heaven and man. I heard that the Emperor said in the court today that he wanted to enthrone the Toilet God. Is this true?"

Hua Twelve nodded: "It is true. Is that why you are here? You are well-informed!"

The youngest girl couldn't help but say: "What do you mean by well-informed? We sisters are the ones who sense the fairy lady Sui Shi."

Hua Twelve was startled: "Are you gods?"

  The divine name sounded familiar to him, but for some reason his brain was a little slow tonight and he couldn't remember where he had heard it!

The middle-aged woman among the three girls said, "Emperor, we sisters are gods, not immortals!"

After saying this, they sighed softly, and the three sisters all looked a little lonely.

The older one said with some embarrassment: "To be honest with you, Your Majesty, our position as a legitimate deity is commonly known as the Toilet God, and is a legitimate deity registered in the Heavenly Court. If Your Majesty were to speak again and issue an order to confer the title of God, I'm afraid there would be duplication of divine duties, causing chaos!"

Hua Shier suddenly realized that these three people came to find him for this reason.

He felt familiar with these three women and they were very good to him, so he said, "This is easy to handle. Fortunately, the decree has not been issued yet, so there is still room for change."

The woman smiled sweetly: "That's what I meant!"

Hua Twelve hesitated for a moment and said, "Well, I heard that the gods all have servants under them, so I will appoint those people as your servants!"

The woman showed embarrassment and said, "Your Majesty, there are already two servants under my sister's seat. One is Concubine Qi of Emperor Gaozu of Han. Empress Lü cut off her hands and feet and threw her into the toilet for the ministers to see as a 'human pig'. My sister and I felt sorry for her and reported her death to the Heavenly Court. We took her as a servant and let her enjoy some incense!"

"The second is He Mei, a woman from the Tang Dynasty. She was murdered in the toilet by her husband's first wife. Her ghost lingered there, crying day and night. My sisters felt sorry for her and took her in as a servant, just like Madam Qi did!"

At this point, the woman said with some embarrassment: "Due to the limitations of our priesthood, two servants are enough."

Hua Shier nodded when he heard this. One toilet, three gods, and two servants were indeed enough. If there were more, people who wanted to use the toilet would not be able to squeeze in.

He was in a dilemma now. The people from Emei Sect had to be dealt with. He had already told several earthly immortals in the National Master's Mansion about this. There was no room for easing the situation. But the main master of the Toilet God came to him to reason. Even though he was the emperor, he could not be unreasonable.

Hua Shier felt that he was the most reasonable person, and if others were right, he had to admit it!

Perhaps seeing Hua Twelve's embarrassment, the woman said:

"Although there is no shortage of runners, there is a shortage of clerks who can clean pits and buckets. If you don't think the priesthood is too small."

Hua Twelve's eyes lit up, and he waved his hands quickly: "No problem, no problem, what did you say you were doing?"

"Clean pit, clean bucket."

Hua Twelve said with a smile: "How can I refuse such a good job? This is it."

The youngest girl chuckled and said, "Your Majesty's words are really funny. How can this be a good job? If it wasn't a job that was filled with bad luck, how could this position of a minor official have remained vacant from ancient times to the present?"

Hua Twelve laughed and said, "How can it not be a good job? Think about the Tianpeng Marshal Zhu Bajie, who entered Lingshan and became the messenger of the altar. Everyone said it was a good job. Cleaning pits and buckets is probably the same as cleaning the altar. How can it not be good!"

At this point the three sisters all laughed. How could they be the same? The altar cleaner is responsible for cleaning the offerings and food, and the pit and bucket cleaners are responsible for cleaning something else. Don't you know?

At this moment, a cock crowed suddenly. The three girls stopped laughing and bowed to Hua Twelve again:

"It's getting late, so I'll take my leave now."

After finally meeting the immortal, Hua Twelve wanted to ask something, but he stretched out his hand to stop him: "Wait a minute."

He stretched out his hand, but blocked nothing. After a moment, Hua Twelve opened his eyes and saw himself lying on the dragon bed, with Cheon Song Yi hugging him and sleeping soundly on one side.

Hua Twelve stretched out his left hand, as if trying to grab something.

"Is this a dream?"

Hua Shier broke free from Cheon Song Yi's octopus-like entanglement, stood up and walked outside. When he opened the door, he saw the sky was bright. The eunuch who was guarding outside the door hurriedly paid his respects to the emperor!

"Is this really a dream?"

Hua Shier just showed a look of doubt, but then he realized that it was not right. It should be true. The three beautiful toilet gods should have come, but they did not really meet, but came in his dreams!

Although the evil spirits cannot enter the palace, it should be possible to ask the righteous gods to send him a dream. In Journey to the West, the Dragon King of Jinghe River sent a dream to Emperor Taizong of Tang before the incident, which shows that this is feasible. In other words, it was the toilet god who sent him a dream just now.

He didn't want to sleep anymore and went back to change his clothes. He wanted to go to Wenyuan Pavilion to check the information to find out who these three goddesses were.

Just after putting on her clothes, Cheon Song Yi woke up. Hua Twelve patted her plump breasts and said, "You go to sleep. I have something important to do. I will come over to practice with you in the evening!"

Last night was Cheon Song Yi's wedding night. She was feeling aggrieved when she saw Hua had to leave at dawn, but when she heard that he would come to practice martial arts in the evening, she immediately smiled and stood up to help him tie his belt and straighten his collar.

After leaving Cheon Song Yi's place, he walked towards Wenyuan Pavilion, and halfway turned to Qin'an Hall, because Hua Twelve thought that his senior brother was a living fossil, and it would be more convenient to ask him instead of looking for him himself. When he arrived at Qin'an Hall and saw Li Jingxu, Hua Twelve told him about his previous dream.

Li Jingxu suddenly asked, "You said the three of them called you Emperor?"

Hua Twelve nodded: "Yes, I am the emperor, call me Emperor, is there a problem?"

The boy of bliss had a strange look in his eyes and shook his head: "No problem!"

"Then why are you asking like that? You scared me. By the way, senior brother, do you know who these three are? Are they toilet gods as they say?"

  Li Jingxu nodded:

"These three are incredible. I think you have heard of them. They were the three Daluo Jinxian of Jiejiao during the Conferred Gods War. They were the Three Goddesses of the Three Immortal Islands. After their death, their souls were listed in the Conferred God List. They were named Sensing Fairies by Jiang Taigong. They are known as the God of the Three Pitfalls, which is what you call the Toilet God!"

Hua Twelve thought of the gentle, generous and intellectual beauty he talked to in his dream last night, and it was Yunxiao. He couldn't help but complain:

"Jiang Ziya is so petty. It's just that the Three Fairies severely damaged the Golden Immortals of the Chan Sect. He holds a grudge against them because they are not as skilled as them. He gave three beautiful female fairies the title of Toilet God. It's really disgusting!"

Li Jingxu quickly covered his mouth: "Stop talking, we are also from the same sect after all."

Three poles in the sun.

Hua Shier called all the earthly immortals from the National Master's Mansion, saying that things had changed and a new decision had to be made.

Conferring gods is a big event. There is nothing wrong with choosing an auspicious day. But when conferring gods with subordinate servants and lower-level officials, what's the point of choosing an auspicious day?

When Hua Twelve told the story, everyone was surprised to hear that he had met the Three Goddesses. But when they thought about the fact that Hua Twelve wanted to seal the Toilet God, they realized that he was indeed stealing the god's position from others, so it was normal to find them to argue with them.

Hua Twelve complained, "You are all famous earthly immortals, especially the Heavenly Master. You are the only living immortal official in the world. Why don't you remind me? If someone comes to my door, how embarrassing it would be for me as an emperor. Those who know about it think that you didn't remind me, and those who don't know think that I am uneducated!"

Several earthly immortals were speechless. No matter how they heard this, it was awkward. Don’t you still not know? If you are educated, why do you need others to remind you?

But this is the situation, and I can't say that. Zhang Tianshi smiled bitterly and said:

"It's my fault. Your Majesty's idea yesterday was so shocking that I neglected this matter!"

The other three earthly immortals nodded one after another. That's right. Who has ever seen an enemy being made to look after the toilet? That would be a tough task.

Zen Master Xiaoyue was a little unhappy. He had been happy all night thinking that everyone in Emei would be in trouble, but the situation changed the next day. Wasn't his happiness in vain? He immediately asked:

"Your Majesty, are we going to just let the matter of Emei's Conferred Godship go?"

Hua Twelve sneered and said, "Of course not. I have already asked the Three Goddesses. Although the position of the true god is gone, there are still a few vacancies for the cleaning staff. The Emei Sect is lucky. It was about to lose the government food, but then there was a sudden turn of events."

  The four earthly immortals were startled at first, and then they all looked strange. This is called luck? This is called bad luck!

Zen Master Xiaoyue laughed out loud. This is what he wanted.

There was no need to choose a day to confer titles on petty officials. Hua Twelve immediately issued an order to confer titles on Miaoyi Zhenren as the Purifier of Pit, Xuanzhenzi as the Purifier of Bucket, Changmei Zhenren as the Sword Qi Fly Driller, and Kuxing Toudao as the Maggot Herder General.

Hua Twelve is the emperor of the world. His words are as golden as gold and his lips carry the laws of heaven. Once he is enthroned, the way of heaven will respond immediately.

Zhang Tianshi also held a ceremony to report to the Heavenly Court, and uploaded Hua Twelve's will in written form for record.

All the people in Emei have been canonized, but don’t be fooled by the resounding titles like envoy, immortal, and general, as they are just minor officials under the Three Sky.

If they are successful in cultivating immortals and ascend to the upper realms, that would be good. They just feel unlucky and don't have to do such things personally. They can just leave a trace of their spirit in the human world to complete their duties on their behalf.

However, if one dies halfway on the road to cultivating immortals, his soul will be taken by the underworld to serve the Three Goddesses, and will be bound by the Heavenly Dao, with no possibility of reincarnation and cultivation again.

Of course, there is a trick in the middle, that is, this is an unlucky job, whoever does it will be unlucky, and Hua Twelve will also cast a statue for them and put it at the bottom of the pit. When the time comes, the luck will be ×2 if the god of misfortune possesses them. Want to survive the catastrophe and ascend to heaven? Unless you have an innate spiritual treasure to protect you, forget it. Go to bed early, and you can dream about anything.

As soon as the imperial edict was issued, the Imperial Household Department spread it throughout the country.

Everyone in Emei felt it, but Qi Shuming and others in the mortal world only felt that something big had happened that was related to them, but they didn't know what it was.

The Changmei Zhenren from the Lingkong Fairyland is in trouble.

Lingkong Immortal Realm is the Earthly Immortal Realm, which is not a real immortal realm. It is like Shenzhou, but more than a hundred times larger. The immortals who ascended from the lower world live in seclusion in various places in the Earthly Immortal Realm.

Today in Chaoyang Temple on Kongling Immortal Mountain, the disciple of Zhenyuan Daxian, the ancestor of earthly immortals, Qingfeng Taoist, gave a lecture. All the celestial immortals within a radius of 100,000 miles came to listen to the lecture, and Changmei Zhenren also grabbed a seat.

He came here for two purposes, one was to listen to Qingfeng's teachings, and the other was to find someone to exchange a warrant for the wandering god so that he could come down to the mortal world.

You have to know that when a cultivator ascends to heaven, he or she will be cut off from the connection between heaven and earth and cannot come down to earth at will, otherwise it would be a violation of the heavenly rules. Of course, ordinary immortals do not have the ability to come down.

There is just one exception, and that is the Wandering God's Warrant. This thing is issued by the Wandering God of Day and Night. Having this thing is equivalent to having a pass, and one can go down to the mortal world through formal channels in the name of doing business for the Heavenly Court.

Some immortals who want to go to the mortal world to do some important things have to spend a lot of money to buy this warrant.

Of course, there are also people who sneak across, but they have to pass through a million miles of thunder lakes. Within a million miles are minefields that are no weaker than natural disasters. Unless they are Daluo Jinxian who possess innate spiritual treasures, or Lei Gong and Dian Mu who have special duties, any ordinary immortal who goes there will die.

Changmei came this time hoping to wait until the lecture was over, and then use all his wealth to buy a warrant for wandering gods from the immortals here so that he could come down to earth and resolve his crisis.

When Renjian Hua Twelve issued an edict to enthrone him, Changmei was listening attentively. Although Qingfeng was a Taoist boy beside the Great Immortal Zhenyuan, he was also a Golden Immortal who had started practicing in the prehistoric times. Any word from him could benefit these little immortals a lot.

When all the celestial beings were listening with fascination, a cloud suddenly flew in the sky. It turned out to be the fairy messenger from Siming Palace, which was governed by Emperor Donghua.

Qingfeng was familiar with the visitor, so he immediately stopped preaching and went forward to greet him.

After greeting Qingfeng, the messenger turned to the celestial beings present and said, "Master Longmei Renshou, come out and listen to your conferring!"

  Ren Shou just felt that something had happened that was related to him, but he didn't know whether it was good or bad, and he didn't know what it was specifically. At this time, he saw someone from the Heavenly Court asking him to listen to the appointment, and he thought to himself, could it be that his luck has changed and he has been given the job?

Not only did he think so, but everyone around him who was listening to the sermon thought so too, and those who knew him well even congratulated him.

  Ren Shou came out and met the messenger, who directly read out the document from the Siming Palace:

"There is a fairy Ren Shou in the Heavenly Fairyland. He was canonized by the emperor of the human world. In order to be a minor official under the seat of the fairy lady Sui Shi, he was given the title of 'Sword Qi Fly-Driver Immortal'!"

The fairies around him scattered instantly, looking disgusted. They thought it was a great job, but it turned out to be just a job of shooing away flies in the toilet!

Changmei Zhenren had no idea how many times he had vomited blood, and this time it was like his intestines were pierced through.

Hua Shier, on his part, had no idea about what was happening in the Lingkong Fairyland. After he fired the cannon, he stopped caring about it and ordered his men to speed up the casting of palm-sized kneeling statues of the Emei people. He then used the magic door to run to the crater of Mount Fuji in Fuso, used the Sun Golden Wheel and Taiyi Five Smoke Net to protect his body, and ran a thousand feet underground to use the earth fire to forge swords.

Thanks to: 08a, Brother Xiao Xiaohu in the Demon World for the reward, and thanks to the brothers who voted for monthly votes and recommendation votes, thank you very much.