Cross talk: There is no size on the stage, and a new grave is built under the stage

"Turn around and go!
"

"Huh?" Luan Yunping applauded in surprise on the stage, "Just listen to one sentence and leave?"

Qi Yuncheng was straightforward, "I didn't understand a single sentence, and it would be worse if I heard too much. Let's think about whether all this is for the rope. Oh, it's worth the money."

"Yes?"

"Go out and return the car on the side road of the airport by bicycle."

"go back."

"Ask a classmate if you can give me a watermelon, and he says no."

"Are you still discussing this with someone?"

"I laughed." Qi Yuncheng touched his heart and muttered, "Let's think about whether all this is for the rope?"

Luan Yunping waved her hand, "Learn and apply."

"You see, it's time to use it. Three subway trips, four bus trips, and back. After this, I'm about to become a master. I can't waste time, especially in such a good place as Yanjing , I study hard.

Walking around, I came to Xizhimen Bridge.

Standing on the Xizhimen Bridge, I am very moved. "

"how?"

Qi Yuncheng's expression changed abruptly, he looked down and scolded directly: "How the hell is this going to happen?"

"Harmful!

You are dizzy. "

As soon as Luan Yunping spoke, there was a lot of laughter below, which was a bit of a burden.

Qi Yuncheng supported the table and frowned, "I'm still young, I can't die on Xizhimen Bridge, who designed this thing?"

"I can't go down."

"How did I come up?"

"That's right."

Finger gestures up and down, Qi Yuncheng took a breath, looking very tired, "I finally came down after a day and a half."

"Well, I almost died."

"Later I walked to Xuanwumen, a place called Caishikou. I was very moved that many high-ranking people died here."

"Tell me." Luan Yunping passed on the words.

Qi Yuncheng said: "At first it was the execution ground. The Six Gentlemen of [-] all died here, and Yu Qian also died here."

"who said it??"

Hearing that something was wrong, Luan Yunping hurriedly stopped, and her voice became louder, "It's a bit mysterious? Uncle Yu Qianyu told you where he died? Is the third show going to be their show?"

"That's not right!" Qi Yuncheng put his hands into his sleeves and wondered, "Uncle Yu told me that he died there."

"Uncle Yu told you where he died? What's the idea?"

"What is this rope for?"

"I think you are dizzy from learning."

Taking his hands out of his sleeves, Qi Yuncheng looked at the dark audience below and got back to the topic, "Standing at the entrance of the vegetable market, I am still very moved, the cultural atmosphere is very strong."

"Why is it so rich again?" Luan Yunping never understood her partner's words.

"So many people died here, the essence of heaven and earth, I knelt down slowly."

"you?"

"Kneel in the middle of the road and everyone praises me."

"How to say?"

"You're fucking sick!
"

Luan Yunping stretched out her hand and asked back, "Is this a compliment to you?"

Qi Yuncheng raised his finger forward and walked forward, "Stand up and walk forward, walked around and walked to the front door, I like this place, I like these traditional ancient buildings, I like these seven or eight an alley."

...

"House?"

"I was standing in the alley and suddenly a strong wind blew, and a butterfly landed on my head. What a beautiful butterfly." Qi Yuncheng took a deep breath and slowly took it off his head, took it off His expression changed, "Butterfly or leopard print? Whose underpants are these???"

Hahahaha!

In the theater in Wudu, laughter filled the air again.

At the same time, Luan Yunping couldn't talk about this matter anymore, "You see clearly before you speak."

Qi Yuncheng lowered his head, holding his underpants with both hands, his expression continued to be puzzled, "In such a special place, I was given a special gift, am I going to be lucky?"

"Oh, how coquettish, that's called peach blossom luck."

"I don't care, I'll put the underpants on when I'm done. I'll ask you and your wife what you think about this matter."

"Ask the two of us?"

"Luan Yunping! Axe! Are you at home?"

"Axe? My daughter-in-law's name? It seems that she and your daughter-in-law are best friends."

"Luan babble!
As soon as the door opened, I took out the butterfly. "

On the stage, after Qi Yuncheng finished speaking, he immediately picked up the handkerchief and shook it off, "I asked you two, is there any sign of the butterfly flying into the sky? You know a lot, analyze it for me."

"Stop shaking like crazy." Luan Yunping quickly snatched back the white handkerchief that had been shaken off, and put it back carefully.

"Luan Yunping said that I can't analyze it. I'll take you to find a good person. There is a master of fortune-telling at the entrance of the alley."

[To be honest, I have been using Yeguo to read and read books recently, change sources and switch, read aloud with many timbres, . 】

"Oh, is there a master there?"

"Luan Yunping led me out. Turning the corner, I came to a century-old store with the four big characters of Happy Supermarket."

"Is this a century-old shop?" Luan Yunping complained.

Qi Yuncheng nodded resolutely, and began to make four square gestures, "There is a big advertising sign at the door: fortune-telling by face-to-face, shoe repair and keys."

"Master Almighty?"

"Sit face to face with the master. The master said to pay the money first, one hundred. I will give someone 100 yuan, and the master will hold it up and have a look."

"I'm afraid it's fake."

"It's ready, the master has spoken." Qi Yuncheng turned to one side and changed roles, "People's lives are divided into gold, wood, water, fire, and earth. Have you heard of this? For example, the iron life of the weight, the life of the dustpan, the water life of the toilet, and the chimney." Huo Ming, anyway, is different.

Judging by your face, you are going to lose your money today. "

"Is that obvious?"

"The minimum loss is 100 yuan!

"

After speaking, Qi Yuncheng couldn't believe it like an even bigger fool on the stage, "God? How did he know?"

"How fresh, you gave it to others!

"Luan Yunping couldn't stand it anymore, and pointed it out in a hurry.

"Master, take a look at my future.

The master said: Where are you going now?

I want to go home.

go home!

Thank you!

"

"It's over??"

"Stand up and walk back, Luan Yunping followed, we looked at each other."

Qi Yuncheng behind the microphone paused, and then pointed down, "There is a step next to it. I sat on the step and lit a cigarette. After smoking for 10 minutes, I asked, are we being fooled?"

...

Luan Yunping was speechless: "That's a trick."

"Luan Yunping nodded, yes! Let's beat him. Let's go back and catch Grandmaster, this is a beating! It's too wicked. If you dare to lie to me, it means that my partner and I are smart."

"Neither of us is much smarter."

"A kick on the buttocks, all the brains came out."

"Well, the brains are in the ass."

"If I don't give you a green dish today, it means you haven't eaten leeks."

"What word is this? You can think of it."

It was so disgusting that Luan Yunping almost lost her defense next to her, let alone the audience below, who kept laughing.

Qi Yuncheng sneered, and moved his teeth and claws, "Punching from above, kicking from below, the master was trembling. Although the beating was fun, but when I came back, the hammer could criticize me for being too impulsive."

"You can't hit people."

"She taught me, and I was very inspired. I must work hard to become a great person, so I decided to go to the former office of Saijinhua again."

"You wander around here?"

"An acquaintance from the opposite side?"

"Who is it?"

Qi Yuncheng said: "Master of divination, you are pushing a cart to collect waste products instead."

"Changed?"

"Looking at him while walking, but why is he pushing so slowly, hey, why are you pushing so slowly?"

"He says?"

"New car run-in!"

"I've never heard of a trolley that's still running in." Luan Yunping hurriedly waved her hand to add.

"I didn't even pay attention to him, and then someone called me."

"Who is it?"

"There is a hut next to it, light a small pink lamp, and a woman calls me."

Qi Yuncheng immediately leaned back, waving continuously with his hands, and at the same time changed his tone, "Xiansen, come in and sit down for a while! As soon as she called me, I went in."

"Really?"

"Let's chat! You sound like a southerner when you speak.

That's right, Xiansen is sitting, where did he get rich?

I? "

Suddenly Qi Yuncheng glanced at his partner, "I definitely can't say I'm young."

Luan Yunping was puzzled, "Are you going to grow up?"

"Of course, I... I'm a university tutor.

Oh, are you a dick? "

"It's all a mess."

Hahahaha!

Amidst the laughter, Qi Yuncheng quickly waved his hands, "Mentor!
dick? "

"People have approved."

"I think we can't talk to her anymore, so I changed my mind and asked, you are from the south, can the climate in the north be acceptable?
Not good, the climate in the north is too dry, and it is often windy, which wiped off my underwear that was hanging outside that day. "

"Ouch!
is hers. "

Suddenly the truth came to light, Luan Yunping supported the table in shock, Qi Yuncheng hurriedly pretended to zip his pocket, for fear of being discovered.

"You still have it with you?" Luan Yunping looked at his face and immediately added.

After pulling, Qi Yuncheng happily returned to his smile, "We were chatting, when we suddenly turned our heads and looked through the window, there was an uncle policeman coming outside, followed by a master pushing a cart.

Is this a report?How did the master figure out that I am here? "

...

"Nonsense, I saw you go in."

"broken!"

Qi Yuncheng became more and more flustered as he spoke, and he put his hands on the buttons of his coat and shouted, "Hurry up, hurry up, we two hurry up to clean up. As soon as I unbutton it, she unbuttons it too! I was startled, don't unbutton it!"

I understand!

Hurry up, give me a perm, just like the Yu Qian you received last time. "

Luan Yunping: "Huo, how long has Uncle Yu been there?"

Qi Yuncheng: "Xiansen, the hair ironing instrument was scalded by that uncle!
"

Luan Yunping: "Okay, sir, why is this so hot?"

Qi Yuncheng: "Then shave, can you shave? Here is a basin, grab the soap foam on your face, quickly, quickly get the knife.

No more razors!Xiansen, only a kitchen knife!

That's fine, she took a kitchen knife and scraped my face.

I opened the door while I was sitting, and the police uncle came in with the master. "

With his hands behind his back, Qi Yuncheng became the policeman again, looked down, "What are you doing?

Uncle policeman, it's nothing, just wash your hair and shave your face, it's okay to be unlucky.

Then why is there blood on your clothes? "

"Huh?" Luan Yunping's eyes widened when she heard that.

Qi Yuncheng swallowed, wiped his face with his hand and then put it on his coat, "Benming Year!

"

"Damn, bleeding in your natal year?"

"Honestly, what are you two doing?
Uncle policeman, what do you think I can do?She is regular, you see how shabby she looks, like a sweet potato dropped on the ground and someone stomped on it with a spiked shoe.

it is true?
That's, eh, yes, comrade policeman, this one stole my stroller.

how do you know?

If you don’t believe me, you can ask him why the push is slow, and he will definitely say that it’s because of running-in.

When the policeman asked, the master said that it was because of running-in, and the two chased and ran away. "

"I can't stop chasing you." After a conversation, Luan Yunping finally said something.

"As soon as they left, my heart was finally relieved. I said you should put down the knife. She was holding the knife...you are such a scumbag!"

"what happened?"

"When you said me just now, I wanted to chop you up.

I said don't come here, don't you want to think about it?Is it all about the rope? "

"Damn, do you use this everywhere?"

"Just ask her one sentence, I'm stupid with a knife, where did you see my husband?"

Luan Yunping was also dumbfounded beside her partner, "What's going on?"

Qi Yuncheng: "You are copying my husband's words."

Luan Yunping: "Good guy!"

Qi Yuncheng said while covering his face, "I'll go out and buy band-aids. The bleeding can't stop. I found a pharmacy nearby, and the three boxes of band-aids didn't stick."

"too big."

"The elder sister who sells medicine is happy, why don't you buy a bag for night use?"

Hahahahaha!
Night-use items are known to the young and old, as well as women and girls, and they can't imagine sticking them on their faces.

As a partner, Luan Yunping should talk more, "That won't work."

"Yes, I'm afraid the blood will be sucked dry."

"Hurry up and say something serious, I'm going to report you soon."

This sentence is definitely added, Qi Yuncheng turned his head to look at his partner and didn't answer his words, but just made a contemptuous look in his eyes, "I was thinking seriously, I couldn't sleep all night after I got home.

...

I think I'm so young, I can't die, if I lose too much blood and die, I still have a lot of work to do. "

"What else can you do?"

"In the past, it was said that civil servants died to serve their hearts, generals died to show their strength, and sons died for filial piety. It was said that cross talk died because tickets could not be sold."

"Stop talking about that."

"I can't die. I have a lot of abilities. Give me [-] urban management and I can conquer the island country."

"Good guy, you are better than Master."

"it is good!

"

Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi Chi!

When it comes to happy things, the audience is very happy and applauds everyone.

"Give me a hundred people who talk about cross talk, and give you back world peace."

"You've picked the best."

"If one day I am the lord of the island country..."

"What are you going to do? Don't think about it, restrain your desires."

"I can watch any small movie I want to watch."

Thinking it could do anything, Luan Yunping shook her head instantly, "That's all you pursue."

"I'm happy to think about it. I've been fascinated by the lake until dawn, and someone knocked on the door. Who is it? Me, Luan Dangdang!"

"Why am I here?"

"Open the door, and the couple came in. Your wife is furious. Tell him, he's having an affair."

"I?"

"Luan Yunping, your wife is so kind to you, why are you still having an affair?"

"what did I say?"

"Ham, we just met casually, we just fell in love after a long time."

"What word is this?" Luan Yunping hurriedly corrected, "Love grows with time."

"That's right! Idioms! Love after a long time?"

"Don't you add that word line?"

"Yo?" Qi Yuncheng suddenly turned his head and smiled, "Aren't you happy when you talk about cross talk?"

Hahahahaha!
After a series of events, the two actors did not know how many things they satirized, Luan Yunping also took a breath with a smile, "Who won't let the fun go."

"Anyway, you are in love. I said this is shameful. Take me to find that woman. You go ahead, and I follow behind. You came here in a roundabout way. When you knock on the door, the woman comes out and is good at it." He pointed at me and said something, and I turned around and ran away."

"what did she say?"

"You're such a dick!"

"Emotions are waiting!"

……

The cross talk fell to the bottom.

The two bowed and stepped down.

The theater immediately burst into applause.

It was almost the same as when I was on stage, with all kinds of voices.

The applause, the sound of retention, and the sound of applause can be heard clearly on the stage.

So after the host glanced at the time, he quickly asked the actors to go back and sing again. Most of the replays were mainly chatting, and they also spoke this dialect.

To get closer to the audience.

After the return is over.

Mr. Gao's program came out to overwhelm the audience.

And a performance is like this sometimes, and the performance can end very quickly.

Because two or three hours, it's easy to pass by if you don't pay attention, let alone a happy place to listen to cross talk.

When going backstage.

Qi Yuncheng and the others are nothing more than spending the time of today's performance. As long as Teacher Gao finishes the second performance, and the master and uncle save up, today's performance will be fast.

But at this time.

There was movement on his cell phone, it was an invitation from his wife.

When I picked it up, I was taken aback.

Because both Song Yi and Shi Niang's faces were in the camera, within half a second of their appearance, a familiar voice came from the phone, "How is Yuncheng? Is the performance okay? Is it enough to go back today?"

"Master, it's okay, I've finished talking."

"Well, I figured it was almost the same, so I asked my daughter to call you."

The place in the background is not small, but the sound of the mobile phone is still the same, and the sound is not unfamiliar.

Xiaoyue and the rest of the brothers who came to join the cast all gathered around. Even Guo Degang, who was sitting and resting at the side, knew about it, but he didn't go there. He just watched the children and interacted with their teachers and wives.

"Master, hello! Sister-in-law!"

"Master! Sister-in-law!"

……

All the brothers and sisters shouted that the teacher's wife is fine, but after Song Yi heard so many voices from her sister-in-law over there, she didn't know what to say.

Whoever called her husband was the first batch of apprentices with the master, and all the brothers and sisters had to call her that.

Just looking at it, Qi Yuncheng noticed something was wrong. The background was in his own home, but there were an unknown number of shopping bags on the table at home, more than a dozen.

"Why did you go?"

Speaking of this, Song Yi was happy, "Husband, my wife took me shopping today, and I just bought something."

"I bought some casually. Did you ask my wife to buy it from the supermarket? A dozen bags?"

Cross talk: There is no size on the stage, and a new grave is built under the stage