Almighty painter

Chapter 688: End of the Volume: Destiny Flight (I)

The most precious thing for a person is life. A person has only one life. Therefore, a person's life should be spent in this way: when a person looks back on his past, he will not regret wasting his years, nor feel ashamed for doing nothing; in this way, when he is dying, he can say that he has dedicated his entire life and all his energy to the greatest and most precious cause in life: fighting for the liberation of mankind.

——"How the Steel Was Tempered" Part 1, Chapter 5——
"Believe it or not, I can let you die right now."

Chen Shenglin asked in a gloomy tone.

"Mr. Chen, I have no doubt about this. Just like I said, I have never doubted your ability and terror. Of course I believe you can do this, as easy as brushing off a speck of dust on your body."

Gu Weijing answered in a calm tone.

"Of course, Brother Hao, you can do it. If you want, you can let me die immediately. But I also understand and believe that doing so will not make you feel better. You can shake off a thousand grains of dust on your body, but you can never shake off the mud that is wrapped around you in your heart... It's like drinking salt water."

This young man, in his early adulthood, talked about his own death, but there was not much fear in his tone.

He actually laughed.

The morning sun shone on his face from the side.

He had a gentle expression and his eyebrows were just a faint stroke on his forehead.

Chen Shenglin stared at his face closely, trying to find any hidden fear or feigned calmness in Gu Weijing's expression.

but.

He didn't find it.

Chen Shenglin has made many threats in his life, but when he said that he could kill Gu Weijing right now, it was not a threat.

This is a true statement.

He knew this clearly, and he believed that Gu Weijing on the opposite side also understood it.

Chen Shenglin has seen too many people who claim that they are not afraid of death.

Some people, who don't feel the "majesty" of death in their daily lives, are extremely "tough" at the wine table. When they are drunk, they brag about how boring life is, that they have enjoyed everything they should have, and that they are ready to die at any time.

But without exception.

If you really pull out a gun and put it to his head right away, he will be the one who wets his pants.

In the face of death, a king is not necessarily more dignified than a beggar.

The great are no braver than the small.

Death is the ultimate fear of mankind, and approaching death is like a person struggling in the water and gradually drowning. Chen Shenglin is now tortured by such pain every day, so he knows better the cold and palpitating feeling.

He is a man who can see into people's hearts.

He can tell in an instant whether a person is truly not afraid or is just pretending to be brave.

Chen Shenglin really didn't hear any sense of boasting in Gu Weijing's words...

His dignity, his calmness, his transcendence.

These qualities should not appear in an eighteen-year-old child.

now.

Yet it blended perfectly with Gu Weijing's expression, his calmness, and his tranquility without any sense of incongruity, perfectly.

The process of psychological game between people is like a poker game on the table. It is a process of hiding one's own cards and seeing through other people's cards.

Brother Hao has seen through the cards of countless opponents in his life.

But this time.

He was increasingly unable to understand what the young man opposite him was thinking.

Brother Hao has kept his cards firmly on the table throughout his life, hiding them very well.

Therefore, he instinctively disliked Gu Weijing's tone of "psychological analysis" for him, but... he just couldn't help but want to listen.

He wanted to hear this older kid, who was less than half his age, talk about death and his heart, just like a little boy standing at the door, craning his neck to listen to the monks in the Zen temple preaching.

Gu Weijing opened his mouth.

Chen Shenglin couldn't help but hold his breath and listen carefully.

No one in the studio knew.

Three nights ago.

On the other side of the Eurasian continent, there is also a young woman who, in an equally huge and luxurious manor, talks about Heidegger and narrates existence and death.

And when she spoke, many guests who were twice her age gathered around her and couldn't help holding their breath and listening attentively.

She said that this world, from the birth of the universe to the eternal heat death, is a process in which one trillion night-blooming cereus bloom at the same time in a breath, and then wither at the same time in a breath.

And there are always such coincidences in the world.

Between one breath and another.

Between one hundred trillion night-blooming cereus flowers blooming and withering at the same time.

There are always two similar flowers. They are separated by thousands of miles, in different time and space, but they have the same petals and similar luster.

When Miss Elena opened her red lips, the guests could not help but want to breathe more slowly, calm down and concentrate.

It was because of her wealth, because of the titles of two earls and one viscount that had been passed down for six centuries, and because of her stunning beauty.

She is as beautiful as an angel.

Beautiful and majestic.

When a woman who is as "shining" as an angel speaks in front of you, how can you not breathe lightly, how dare you not be calm and concentrate?

And Gu Weijing was never considered very handsome.

Not only did he lack Anna's innate beauty, he also lacked Anna's innate majesty, innate eloquence, and innate queenly aura.

But when he spoke, people like Brother Hao couldn't help but breathe more lightly and concentrate. Maybe it was because every word he said really hit Chen Shenglin's heart accurately, or maybe...

Because he has the same tranquility as Miss Elena.

Gu Weijing's skin was very clean, and in the morning light, it exuded a translucent color similar to Miss Elena's.

Of course, it is not the translucent skin like Anna's clear spring water.

It looks like finely ground gold powder and evenly baked clay are smeared together, creating a translucent effect like sunlight shining from the side.

The statue of Bodhisattva Vajra on the lotus seat is translucent illuminated by the sunlight... a ray of light, a ray of gold, that extremely light Jambu gold color.

As peaceful as a god or Buddha.

There is dignity in tranquility.

When a person who is as calm as a diamond or a bodhisattva narrates your heart in front of you.

Even though he was only eighteen.

Even though he still looks a bit childish, perhaps he is still a big kid.

But how could Chen Shenglin not prick up his ears and listen carefully?

"...You can kill me and get a moment of catharsis, and gain a moment of satisfaction from the intoxication of controlling life and death."

“It’s like a traveler on the sea who puts his head above the water, drinks a big gulp, and gets his lips and teeth moistened for a moment. However, the moment you raise your head again, the emptiness and thirst will come back in multiples. The more you drink, the more thirsty you become.”

Gu Weijing said.

"Power and killing can never fill the emptiness in my heart."

"Never."

"Only religion will do, what do you mean, Mr. Gu?" Chen Shenglin asked softly.

He looked at Gu Weijing's face.

Chen Shenglin wondered in his heart whether religion could bring such a big change to a person, and whether it could give anyone the fear of facing death.

Chen Shenglin once again couldn't help but think of Akutagawa Ryunosuke.

Throughout his life, he wrote a large number of books on religious themes, exploring issues such as life and death, good and evil, human nature and destiny.

From the other party's words, Chen Shenglin could feel the eternal fear.

It's not the fear that comes down like a knife and pierces through you like a bullet.

It is a vague, uneasy, faint but ever-present fear, like death dissolving into your shadow and breathing on the back of your neck.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa spent his entire life searching for some kind of eternal peace and eternal liberation.

He once tried to convert himself to religion, and his novels were always full of discussions about Buddhism, paradise, and the savior Christ.

He used his pen to create many Christians with brilliant personalities, and he also stated to the public that he was a believer in Christianity.

But did he really find eternal peace in the glory of Jehovah?

Probably not.

On the one hand, he hopes to find perfect humanity in religion, but on the other hand, his works have a deep sense of disillusionment. He doubts morality and humanity, and also doubts the meaning of the existence of religion itself, realizing that religion cannot bring him true salvation.

In this endless contradiction, endless doubt and endless anxiety.

When Ryunosuke Akutagawa was 35 years old, he swallowed a huge amount of sleeping pills, placed a Bible published in the fifth year of the Taisho era next to his pillow, and fell into a dream of death.

Chen Shenglin always felt that.

Even his death was fraught with intricate contradictions and anxieties.

If he did not believe that death could bring relief from despair, he would not have committed suicide.

But if he really believed in some kind of salvation and was a devout believer, then he should not commit suicide.

Because in the Christian worldview, suicide is one of the evil deeds that will lead to hell.

This contradictory feeling of uneasiness is really despairing.

Just like Chen Shenglin, who despised fate while desperately praying to God.

people say.

Put down the butcher's knife and become a Buddha immediately.

He had a sculpture of the Four-Faced Buddha made of pure gold in his study, and invited Buddhist masters from Thailand to preach to him. He burned incense every day, and he even became the vice president of a charity chamber of commerce.

And yet all this - why didn't it make him feel better?

He did what a believer should do.

But they did not obtain the liberation that believers should have.

Why can an eighteen-year-old child get what he longs for day and night, while he used hundreds of kilograms of gold to cast a Buddha statue but got nothing in return?

Chen Shenglin seemed to hear the mocking sneer coming from the unknown... He was abandoned by God, and he was also abandoned by fate.

The bright spider silk, reflecting the brilliant light, was hanging high above his head.

It could obviously bear the weight of a mountain, but the moment Chen Shenglin's fingers touched it, it became like a fragile silk thread.

It broke instantly.

Make him within reach but out of reach, within reach but unable to reach.

This is his eternal "undesirable".

In ancient Greek mythology, Tantalus, the king of Phoenicia, offended the gods. As punishment, he was bound in a pool of water with delicious fruits above his head, but he had to endure the pain of hunger and thirst for eternity.

Because as soon as he stretched out his hand, the fruit above his head would turn into bubbles, and as soon as he lowered his head, the water at the edge of the pool would flow away from his side.

This is the origin of the Latin proverb "the punishment of Tantalus".

Together with Prometheus who stole fire and Sisyphus who pushed the stone, it symbolizes the eternal torment that those who offend the gods must endure.

"Do gods also divide souls into different levels at birth? Am I the Tantalus of the human world? I even made a statue of Buddha out of gold."

Chen Shenglin asked back, still smiling.

There was a gleam of pain in his eyes.

"Why? I want to be a good person, too. If I have everything I need, I can do good things."

The light in Boss Chen's eyes could probably no longer be concealed.

So he turned his head to the window, looked at the lavender fields beside the window, and hid his expression.

"Mr. Gu...you guessed so accurately, do you know what kind of person my dream is to become?" he asked.

"Godfather?" Gu Weijing thought about it.

"That's about right. I love that book, but I don't really like the American society. To a street gang, you're the godfather, but to a California senator, you're just a dog. But what's the difference between them? They're both doing the same thing."

"Mr. Gu, I know you look down on me and you think the money I make is not clean. But what is clean and what is dirty? I am laundering money for arms dealers from all sides. You can say that I am selling war, but aren't American senators selling war? The big arms dealer who was arrested in Thailand a few years ago may be a victory of justice and law in the eyes of people like you. But let me tell you, everyone has been saying that the only reason he was arrested was not because he was selling arms in third world countries, but because he did not cooperate with the US government, that's all."

"Where in the world is there any victory of justice as pure as snow? Isn't it just the most filthy peace of power?"

"How much chaos and wars have the senators in the U.S. Congress created in this world. 911? The collapse of the World Trade Center? Yes, 2977 Americans died. Yes, it was a terrible tragedy. People say it is immoral and a crime worthy of death. But the U.S. has been fighting wars everywhere in recent years, selling arms from one end of the earth to the other. How many people have died in Afghanistan, and how many refugees are being displaced? Fighting brings chaos, chaos brings fighting again."

"Their soldiers have been in Iraq for 20 years, and the chaos has lasted for 20 years. Why don't they say this is immoral and a crime worthy of death?"

"Have they really brought peace and stability to the Middle East, brought order, brought a peaceful, harmonious and happy life? Why did the world become more chaotic after the arrival of the Nimitz and the F-18? No, maybe they don't want to bring order to the world, don't want to bring dignity, don't want to bring electricity, infrastructure investment, medical care and construction. Maybe they don't even want to protect their own people. They send troops just to make money."

"This is the nature of the world. All wars are fought just to make money. There is no difference between the weapons sold and the bullets fired."

Chen Shenglin took a deep breath.

He doesn't understand.

Why are people different? Why is moral judgment imposed on everyone even though they are doing the same thing?

Just because he is a gangster, and those people are senators in Congress and aristocrats sitting in European manors?
Why.

He was so angry.

Chen Shenglin has always been a gentleman, but when he talked about this issue in the study that day, he lost his composure.

He questioned Gu Weijing.

His staggering wealth was not earned in an honest way.

But could it be that the amazing wealth in the glorious Irina family's treasury was obtained by pleading the Virgin Mary?
Could it be that the string of zeros in the Elena family account, those millions of acres of ranches and properties all over the world, were all given to them through accumulating virtue, through giving speeches, through doing good deeds, and by moving others to tears and crying for their parents?

They love art.

He can also love art.

They can be senators and nobles.

He could also become a senator and a new noble.

Why should they be different!
"Mr. Xiao Gu... My ideal society is a country like Brazil. In 16, I went to Rio, where slums were scattered throughout the city. The incompetence of the government and police made it completely impossible for them to manage such a place, so the gangs took over the government and brought in a new order."

"I was there, and I saw art festivals and concerts held by gangs, and I saw tourists from all over the world. They didn't have to worry about safety at such art festivals. I saw children from the slums playing football on the street, and I saw artists making decorative graffiti in the Art Nouveau style on the walls, and some people were singing rock 'n' roll..."

"Isn't this kind of order good? Isn't this... a good thing?"

Chen Shenglin turned his head and looked at Gu Weijing's face.

now.

There was a faint light flickering in his eyes, a fragile light that did not belong to him, the godfather, but a light that made people feel pity.

For the first time in my life.

Gu Weijing was sure that he saw anger and an almost begging look in Brother Hao's eyes.

It wasn't like he was talking to himself.

Rather, it was as if he was speaking to a god who was weighing a person's heart and judging a person's soul.

He was begging for his own mercy, he was begging for his own approval, he was begging for his own nod.

It seems like this.

He can be saved and rise up instead of falling, just like that, floating all the way up to heaven.

But Gu Weijing shook his head.

"Mr. Chen, have I ever told you that you are actually a very insecure person?" Gu Weijing said softly, looking at the middle-aged man's face.

"This is probably a problem with the original family. I have seen many similar cases in the Good Luck Orphanage. Many children from the countryside who lack the company of their parents during their growth feel insecure."

"They come from a lack of material things or lack of parental love."

"They always want to hug something to fall asleep. They always want to paddle something to get warmth." Gu Weijing said softly, "Brother Hao, I know what this feeling is like. Because I also grew up without a father or mother, and I am also a person who lacks a sense of security."

Psychologists say that a person's life is often a repetition of childhood stories.

The emotional pain in childhood often stays with a person throughout his life.

For example, if childhood disabilities are not properly channeled, they will often make a person's character sensitive, no matter if he is the lame Talleyrand, the one-armed William II, or the wheelchair-bound Roosevelt.

(Note: All three have physical disabilities.)
No matter he is a political tumbler, the emperor of Germany, or the president of the United States.

The same is true for emotional pain.

Just like a baby elephant, when it was young, it was tied up with an iron chain and struggled but couldn't get out.

Many years later.

The baby elephant's body has grown into a giant, but its spirit is still trapped in the same place, unable to leave.

"I know the pain. Boss Chen, tell me what your dream is. Then I'll tell you about mine. People say that in this city, there is nothing you don't know. I don't know if you know, but deep down, I'm a very sensitive and fragile person."

Gu Weijing smiled.

He stood next to Brother Hao, and the two men were almost the same height.

"When Gu Lin was taken out to play by his uncle and aunt when he was little, I would envy him. I would also be jealous of my classmates at school if they had new mobile phones or could go abroad for study tours during the winter and summer vacations. Oh, you have never seen me crying when I heard someone say a few words. It looked so embarrassing."

"But at a time like this, at this moment, I am much calmer than you."

Gu Weijing took out an orange gastric-soluble pill from his pocket, placed it in the palm of his hand, and held it up to Brother Hao to look at it.

Brother Hao's eyes were fixed on the pill in the young man's palm.

I don't know what this thing is.

A tranquilizer?

"This is the pill Miss Koko gave me. It's a poison pill, cyanide or something like that, right? I don't know the exact ingredients, but she said that taking it would be like falling asleep. There would be no suffering, no pain at all."

"She whispered in my ear—"

Gu Weijing looked at the girl and said, "Don't be afraid. No matter where you go, she is by my side."

The moment he heard that the thing in Gu Weijing's palm was actually a deadly poison, Brother Hao felt like he was electrocuted. He immediately turned his head and averted his gaze.

"Brother Hao, you are going to die. And if I give you this painting, I will probably die too. Am I not afraid? No, I am very scared. There are so many wonderful things waiting for me in this world. I still have art exhibitions to attend, and there is such a wonderful girl telling me that she is right beside me."

"My life is so good, of course I am afraid of death. I am only eighteen years old, and now, at this moment, I am terribly scared."

"But I can still stand beside you and talk to you without changing my expression."

"Because I am braver than you, and I will be more open-minded than you."

(End of this chapter)