Rekindle 2003

Chapter 1155: When we were young, we were all idiots

The evening of my youth was like being drunk in a pavilion by the stream, sailing in a light boat into the depths of the layers of lotus flowers, startling the roosting birds and flying back home, with endless excitement;

In the late spring of youth, one would ask about the lushness of green and the thinness of red. Only when one has leisure time will one care about the crabapple blossoms outside the curtain. After a night of wind and rain, are they still the same?

The shyness of youth is like after playing on the swing, when meeting a stranger, you still have to lean against the door and look back to smell the green plums;
When I was young, I was so naive that I bought a seasonal flower from a flower seller and asked my lover to compare their looks, which one was better, the flower or a human?

He is sentimental about spring, compassionate to flowers and birds, unrestrained but elegant, and his naivety can also be painted...

Cute, innocent, bright, passionate... it seems that these are not enough to summarize it.

The lively and graceful girl's soul comes to life on paper in the poems and songs of literati and poets. No matter how many years have passed, these words are still touching.

But the boy's mind...

When they were young, they were all idiots. They didn’t understand anything about this kind of delicateness!
Qing Yun's face turned pale, and there was a hint of pain in his eyes, as if he was recalling those youthful years.

Feeling guilty, he dared not look directly at Li Yali at this moment, and his fingers were nervously tugging at the corner of his clothes.

He knew that every word he said could hurt the girl in front of him, but he also knew that he had to be honest.

He didn't want to lose Li Yali, his confidante, but he couldn't respond to her feelings either.

Because he had a knot in his heart and he couldn't convince himself.

He hardened his heart and continued, “I know you liked me when you were a freshman in high school.

But when I was in the first year of high school, I only had Manman in my heart and eyes, so I consciously distanced myself from other girls. "

Li Yali sneered, her voice full of self-mockery and anger, "You were so convincing at the beginning! I thought you didn't understand my feelings at all!"

After that, she sneered again, "So, in fact, you had already rejected me in your heart, because at that time you only had Manman in your heart? That's the logic, right?"

Her eyes were full of challenge, as if she was seeking a clear answer, an answer that could explain her years of doubts.

Hearing this, Qing Yun's fingers unconsciously rubbed the table, and then nodded, "Yes, you can say that."

He knew that his answer would definitely hurt Li Yali, but he also understood that honesty was the only bridge between them.

Li Yali smiled.

But there was a hint of bitterness in that smile.

The corners of her eyes were slightly wet, but she tried hard not to let the tears flow down, and sniffed hard.

"So, may I ask, what's going on with Yueyue?

Qianying, I won’t say anything, I know the reason.

What's going on with Yueyue? Can you explain it?

Is it because she is useful to you? Or is it because I am useless to you? "

Everyone knows that Tang Qianying, who inherited the family heirloom before his grandfather passed away, is Qingyun's lifelong responsibility.

Li Yali did not expect to compete with Tang Qianying in anything. Their determination to share life and death in front of the teaching building left everyone speechless.

But Chen Yue...

She doesn't agree!
……

With a heart full of doubts and dissatisfaction, Li Yali stared at Qing Yun closely, trying to find the answer from his eyes.

Qing Yun shook his head, his eyes full of self-blame, "It's not about whether it's useful or not, it has nothing to do with this.

Yueyue has always liked me, but I am essentially a scumbag. I can’t accept her leaving, it’s that simple.”

There was a hint of self-mockery in his voice, and he knew that his actions could not be measured by simple right or wrong.

His emotional world was complicated and chaotic, and he was unable to give Li Yali a satisfactory answer.

Li Yali sneered again, "You also know that you are a scumbag?"

Qing Yun nodded and said very straightforwardly, "I have never denied this. A scumbag is a scumbag. It's all my fault."

He knew in his previous life that he was a scumbag, but he just couldn't accept such a despicable and dirty self at that time.

At this moment, his voice was full of determination. He knew that his actions had hurt the six girls and he owed them.

But he knew better that since he owed them, he needed to repay the debt with his lifelong love and care, and not let them get hurt again.

At this time, Li Yali laughed out of anger, and her emotions became excited.
"So, you, a scumbag, have cheated on six people, but you are not willing to cheat on me?!
How am I worse than them?! Tell me!"

Her hysterical voice was filled with resentment.

She pursed her lips and her eyes were full of tears. She shook her head repeatedly, "I, Li Yali, am no worse than anyone else!"

Qing Yun looked at her with a guilty look, grabbed her hand, and said,

"Sister Yali, you are no worse than anyone else. It's my fault, but people can't be compared."

He was impressed by himself for being able to make Li Zhaojun, who was always known for her gentleness and stable mood, become hysterical.

Li Yali closed her eyes in pain and let the tears fall.

She understood what he meant. Two people coming together was a matter of fate and feeling.

That tragic and beautiful look made Qing Yun feel as if his heart was being torn by a knife, and his heart was filled with contradictions and struggles.

He really wanted to sit next to her, wipe away the tears from her pretty face, and give her the most gentle comfort.

But he gritted his teeth and forced himself to hold back. He knew he couldn't do that and couldn't give Li Yali more illusions and harm.

He took out two pieces of toilet paper and stuffed them into Li Yali's hands. Although his movements were clumsy, they were full of care.

After a while, Li Yali wiped the corners of her eyes, took out two tissues, and wiped her nose.

Her shoulders trembled slightly, and she was obviously trying to calm herself down.

Although her movements were simple, they revealed a kind of strength and self-esteem. She was unwilling to completely collapse in front of Qing Yun.

Li Yali took a deep breath, trying to make her voice sound calmer, "Qingyun, I know what you mean..."

She wanted to say something to save her face, but when she got to this point, something suddenly came to her mind and she abruptly cut off the rest of her words.

"Pour me a glass of orange juice. There's some in the fridge."

Although her voice was still trembling, it no longer had the excitement and hysteria it had before.

Qing Yun saw a kind of determination and courage to accept reality in her eyes, and hurriedly got up to get it.

At this moment, Li Yali's brain was working at full speed. Her eyes were rolling around as she carefully recalled the conversation between the two of them.

She seemed to understand something.

But she wasn't sure if her guess was correct.

After drinking the cold orange juice, Li Yali raised her head and stared into Qingyun's eyes. Her eyes were full of doubt and unwillingness.
"Just to confirm, when you said me just now, did you use the word 'liked'?

And when you talk about Yueyue, you use 'always liked'? "

Although her voice was calm, every word seemed to be squeezed out with all her might, revealing how seriously she took the question and how eager she was for an answer.

Qing Yun sighed when he heard this.

There was a flash of helplessness and sadness in his eyes, and he knew that she understood.

This is the knot in his heart.

Although it's ridiculous, it's what he cares about most.

His fingers unconsciously stroked the empty orange juice cup, and he was also facing the filth in his heart.

After a while, he stared into the girl's eyes that were eager for an answer, and said frankly,

"I've said I'm a scumbag, and I don't want to hurt any girl who likes me. But the premise is that they have never changed from the beginning to the end."

In fact, Li Yali knew that she had guessed right by looking at his expression.

She completely understood his thoughts.

So, pointing at herself, she asked with an absurd look on her face,

"So, the biggest difference between me and Tang Qianying and Chen Yue is that you think I liked you, but they have always liked you and never wavered.

So, you don’t accept me? That’s the truth, right? ”

Qing Yun's scalp was about to explode. Li Yali's relentless pressure made it difficult for him to resist.

It’s all over now. We can no longer be friends. This is so hurtful to a girl’s self-esteem.

He supported his knees with his hands, exhaled a breath, and confirmed her statement.

"Yes, that's right, I know it's despicable, but that's my principle.

Not for any other reason, but because they never gave up on me, never!
And you...gave up on me before."

Li Yali looked at him with a smile on her face, "So, do you think that when I retreated in the face of Qin Manyan's suppression, I gave up on you?" Qing Yun's fingers tightly grasped the armrest of the chair, "Yes, Sister Yali, what I need is a steadfast lover, a lover who will not give up on me no matter what happens.

Although I also know that few people can persevere in the face of Manman.

But they did it.

Qianying has never given in, but Yueyue...

She hid it deeper than you, at least I haven't discovered that she has given up.

But you... I could clearly feel your alienation at that time.

I know this idea is stupid, but it's a thorn that I can't pull out.

It is easy to fall in love, but it is hard to keep loving. "

There was a hint of determination in his voice, but his eyes were full of pain.

He knew how much these words would hurt Li Yali, but he also knew that a short pain is worse than a long one.

Since you can't bring happiness to others, don't drag it out. Li Yali is still young.

Li Yali's lips curled up into a self-deprecating smile, and her eyes instantly became as sharp as a knife, pointing directly at Qingyun's eyes.

"Haha! Qingyun, in your heart, have you always thought that Qin Manyan is just a pure and kind-hearted white moonlight who is not interested in worldly affairs?"

At this point, his eyes were full of mockery, "In the first month of high school, I was the one who was closest to you, right?

But do you know how she suppressed me during the so-called ambiguous period between you and her? "

Her words were full of sarcasm, and every word was like an ice blade, cutting the air between the two of them.

Yun Di showed a nostalgic look on his face, and said something to change the subject, "Sister Yali, at that time, you were the first person in the class who treated me sincerely, so I always call you Sister Yali."

Li Zhaojun raised her finger in front of Qingyun, signaling him to shut up, and then slowly shook her head, "Qingyun, you actually know nothing! Qin Manyan wanted to destroy me at that time, do you understand?"

Qing Yun's brows slowly furrowed when he heard this, and he looked at her with displeasure, "Sister Yali, Manman is definitely not that kind of person! Please be careful with your words!"

He felt that what Li Yali said was too much. Having lived two lifetimes, how could he not know what kind of person Qin Manyan was?

She is a woman who is kind to the core.

If Qin Manyan had any bad intentions and wanted to destroy someone, it would be too easy for her to do so.

If Qin Manyan really wanted to destroy Li Yali, would Li Yali still be sitting here?

In northern Myanmar or other places, the grass on the graves might have been cut twice.

Faced with such groundless speculation, he just wanted to say that Li Yali had never clearly seen the class difference between her and Qin Manyan.

After hearing this, Li Yali smiled bitterly, and a hint of helplessness flashed in her eyes.

She knew that Qin Manyan's position in Qingyun's heart was unshakable, just like a dragon's reverse scale, which would be angry if touched.

Bai Yueguang is so unreasonable. In his eyes, Qin Manyan is probably flawless.

She shook her head slightly, and made a downward motion with both hands, with a hint of compromise in her tired tone.
"I said something wrong, I apologize."

Qing Yun's expression softened when he heard this. He knew that she was upset and didn't really care about anything.

There was a hint of apology in his eyes, and he looked at her sincerely, "Sister Yali, Manman is really not that kind of person, you must have some misunderstanding.

We are not children anymore, we can talk about this matter openly, we are all good friends. "

His voice became very gentle, trying to calm down this pointless dispute.

Li Yali didn't want to argue with him, so she didn't comment on this sentence, but said softly,

"Youngest, do you know? To destroy a person, it's not just about destroying her body or her chastity. Another way is to destroy her spirit and crush her pride."

After hearing this, Qing Yun was stunned.

This... emmm...

Who knows, that arrogant bitch Qin Manyan might really do such a thing.

Looking at his somewhat embarrassed expression, Li Yali smiled.
"Manman always thinks three steps ahead before taking one step. You don't deny that, right?"

Qing Yun couldn't deny this.

He could even say responsibly that Li Yali was being too conservative.

Qin Manyan always thinks five, six, seven, eight steps ahead before taking one step.

The reason he was able to control Qin Manyan was entirely because Qin Manyan loved him, and through his two lifetimes as a human being, he had insight into the underlying logic in Qin Manyan's mind.

Li Yali stood up, took a bottle of soda water from the refrigerator, took out a box of milk and put it in the microwave, then started washing the fruits in the hotel's fruit bowl.

In front of the island counter, her movements were not as vigorous as Qin Manyan's, she didn't have the loli cook feeling of Tang Qianying, nor was she as beautiful as Su Caiwei. Li Yali's movements were slow but with a familiar and steady rhythm.

If I have to describe it with a feeling, it would be an ordinary life.

Li Yali served the hot milk to Qingyun and asked him to drink some. She also put the fruit plate on the dining table and picked up an apple to peel it.

As she did so, she spoke softly, "Aren't you always curious about why I have never participated in a competition?"

Speaking of this, Qing Yun suddenly became interested and said, "Why? I am indeed curious. I think with your strength, you can get a silver medal in Physics and Chemistry."

This is an unsolved mystery of the base class.

Li Yali's grades have always been among the top three in the school. During the half year when he was in decline, Li Yali's grades were second only to Qin Manyan, ranking second in the school.

Everyone in the base class is proud, and almost everyone has participated in competitions.

The reason why it is almost is that the only person who has not been there is Li Yali.

Even in Qingyun's opinion, Li Yali's overall strength far surpassed everyone else except him and Qin Manyan.

Li Yali chuckled, with a hint of self-mockery in her voice, "Because I knew from the beginning that I don't have the outstanding talents like you and Manman."

She raised her head, looked at Qingyun and shook her head, "I'm talking about talent, not just you and Manyan."

After explaining, she continued with her actions, peeling the apple with concentration, and continued to talk.

“I knew from a young age that the gap between me and the top could not be made up by hard work.”

She said seriously, "Youngest, I am actually very strong-willed. My life motto is, I'd rather be the head of a chicken than the tail of a phoenix."

Qingyun understood. No wonder Li Yali’s first choice was never Peking University, Tsinghua University or Fudan University.

But he did not agree with this view.

"Sister Yali, don't underestimate yourself. If you take nine subjects in the college entrance examination, no one can be your opponent, including me and Manman."

He had to admit this.

Li Yali is synonymous with comprehensiveness in study.

In the nine-subject examination, Qin Manyan could only beat her if she put all her energy into studying.

As for him, there wouldn't be much difference in scores between taking 9 subjects and taking 6 subjects. He dare not say that the total score of history, politics and geography would not exceed 50 points.

Li Yali smiled without comment, her fingers dancing deftly on the apple, the blade moving lightly, and every cut was precise and delicate.

She cut the apple into four, removed the core, and handed one of the pieces to Qing Yun.

Qingyun took the apple and took a big bite without hesitation.

The juice exploded in his mouth, and the sweet taste made him feel happy.

Li Yali continued to be busy. She changed a kiwi fruit and started peeling the skin. With the gentle movement of her wrist, the emerald green skin gradually peeled off, revealing the fresh and tender flesh inside.

At this dining table, she seemed to have found her own stage, and every movement was full of rhythm and beauty.

As the atmosphere gradually settled, Li Yali took a deep breath and finally spoke, "Let me tell you a story."

Seeing the gleam of memories in her eyes, as if a secret hidden deep in her heart was about to unfold, Qing Yun knew that the story Li Yali was about to tell must have special meaning to her.

He immediately put down the apple in his hand, dug his ears, put on an attitude of listening attentively, leaned forward slightly, his eyes full of expectation.

Li Yali gave him a stern look and said gently, "Show off!" Then she gently tied up her hair, tucked the naughty strands behind her ears, and began to speak slowly,
"I have a friend..."

puff!

Qing Yun couldn't help laughing when she heard this. Facing Li Yali's angry eyes, she said with a smile,

"Sister Yali, according to convention, this friend is usually yourself."

……

休假预告：1月30日-2月9日休假，2月10日复更。

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(End of this chapter)