Ma'am, I was wrong

Chapter 124 A Sacrifice

Liu Yanshu intuitively felt that her mind was chaotic for a while, and she didn't know what to do now?Elder Cao told her that Su Yan had to stay here to recuperate, but with the knife on his neck that might fall at any moment, he said that it would be the best policy to let her take Su Yan away cleanly.

She stared at Su Yan motionlessly, praying to the gods that he could wake up earlier.

Unfortunately, the gods also have their own worries, and they cannot always listen to everyone's prayers.

Liu Yanshu fed Su Yan the medicine, went back to her room, and briefly tidied up the dirty clothes that she changed earlier. She has been busy with other things these days.

She didn't care about herself at all. Looking at the unfamiliar yet familiar face in the bronze mirror, she couldn't help raising her hand to touch it. Is this really her?

Is it the original self?In a trance, a smile of a little girl wearing double buns appeared in the bronze mirror. It was her innocent and innocent self at first. Even though she had the title of the daughter of a wealthy family, she was still very happy.

The current self is also living a very happy life every day, but it seems that I can't find the carefree self.

Liu Yanshu was stunned for a moment, and the corner of her mouth curled into a mocking arc. How can anyone always guarantee that they are the same as the others?

A passage that Mr. Li once said to himself that night came to mind, "If a person has been someone else for a long time, he will gradually forget his true colors."

A chuckle sounded, and Liu Yanshu knew it was her voice, she was mocking herself for not being able to control herself, mocking that she was no longer the Xie Shu she used to be.

That innocent, carefree, and fearless Xie Shu was destroyed by her family long ago, completely destroyed.

His eyes were narrow, and he looked at himself in the mirror dressed as a boy, and slightly raised the corners of his lips, revealing a half-smile.

It is obvious that you are not yourself in the mirror, so how can you be yourself?

'Xie Shu', a name that was once readily available, was born to be given to herself, Liu Yanshu chuckled and shook her head, obviously she said before that from now on she will only be Liu Yanshu.

Neither Xie Shu nor Su Yueming have anything to do with her.

However, when someone easily tore off the mask that had been disguised for a long time, her heart would still be stabbed deeply, and the pain made it difficult for her to breathe.

At this moment, Liu Yanshu couldn't help asking herself, since she had decided to let go, why did she still want to go back to 'mother' to ask for an answer.

Every time I see other people's mothers loving their children, even risking everything to pave the way for their children, why would her mother abandon herself?

Is it true that there are mothers who don't love children in the world, is it true that the mother's love for her in the past was an illusion, or is it that she is not the mother's child?
Did it come from an unknown person, or did he say that he was just a concubine's child.

Liu Yanshu was thinking absurdly at this time, if she was really not a child of her mother's money, but the illegitimate child of her father and another woman, or a concubine's daughter.

In this way, she can also find a reasonable answer for her mother to abandon herself easily?

However, she understands better than anyone else that it is impossible for aristocratic families to confuse their children, especially in this era where the concubine and concubines are different.

Whether Su Yueming is his father's child, the father can tell very clearly, I am afraid, except for the confused late emperor, I am afraid that the two of them must know who the child is in their hearts?
Thinking about it this way, Liu Yanshu sighed softly, she felt even more desperate, and what she thought in her heart not only did not help her get rid of the fact that she was her mother's biological daughter, but instead made her realize more clearly that she was abandoned.

What a cruel idea for her!

After thinking about it for a long time, her thoughts returned to the original point, whether she wanted to be Xie Shu again, this most original self, no matter what meaning the name was given, but it belonged to herself at the beginning.

But······
No, she doesn't want to be Xie Shu, she is already Liu Yanshu, that 'Xie Shu' has already died, died in her memory, the moment she stepped into the palace gate.

The real 'Xie Shu' has long since ceased to exist, she has long since died, and now she is Liu Yanshu, the daughter of her father and mother, and they have given her the grace to rebuild.

As for the answer that I was looking for so hard, it should be a sacrifice to the dead 'Xie Shu'.

It would be great if Tongrentang had wine. She didn't like wine in the past, but now she thinks wine is a good thing. Once drunk, she can relieve all her worries, so she doesn't have to think about anything.

Lie quietly on the bed and sleep, and forget everything after waking up.

I still remember someone asking me when I was young, if she was asked to give up something without hesitation, it would contain her parents, identity, life, memory, and everything she owned.

She said that she wanted them all, and these were treasures to her, and none of them could be thrown away. It's a pity, except for the memory, those treasures no longer belonged to her with the passage of time.

If she could do it all over again for a while, she would definitely choose to abandon her memory, it was too painful, every second of her life, every person she met reminded her of the pain of the past every moment.

Why many things will go away as time goes by, but the memory stays in her mind all the time.

"Girl, what are you doing? Open the door, I have something to call on you." The old Li's old voice sounded outside the door, and Liu Yanshu's painful memories were instantly interrupted. When she recovered, her eyes suddenly became extremely clear.

The little girl from before did not appear in the bronze mirror either!
Liu Yanshu was startled, and squinted her eyes slightly, wondering what Mr. Li could ask her for. She seemed to remember that she didn't take his gold away.

Rubbing the slightly red eye sockets, he got up and opened the door, looked at the grinning old Li in front of him, and asked suspiciously, "What do you want me for?"

Elder Li pointed to the stone table in the middle of the courtyard yesterday, and said with a smile, "Come out, come out and say it."

Seeing Li Laoji's doggy smile, Liu Yanshu's heart skipped a beat, feeling that nothing good happened.

After she sat firmly on the stone table, Mr. Li gave her a cup of tea very attentively, and pushed it in front of her very naturally. Now, Liu Yanshu was even more confused, and her mind was completely muddled.

However, now she is more vigilant than before, she did not pick up the cup of tea, she fixedly looked at Mr. Li, and asked doubtfully, "What are you doing?"

Listening to the female doll in front of him so unabashedly, Mr. Li waved his hand and said with an awkward smile: "Look at you, why are you so nervous, in broad daylight, I, a bad old man, still eat you, drink tea and drink tea. "

As he spoke, he pushed the teacup forward again.

Liu Yanshu twitched the corners of her mouth, silently picked up the teacup in front of her, and took a sip. In the next second, she heard something from Old Li that made her eyes drop.

"Girl, what do you think of me following you?"

(End of this chapter)