Shepherd Tantra

Chapter 1105 The so-called Ouroboros

Such a strong temptation...

For Aiwass, who was used to the shortcut of pastoral care, it should have been irresistible.

——I am willing to sacrifice my life, but the price is to lose myself a little bit...

But for some reason, when Aiwas was seriously considering whether to accept this powerful force, he inexplicably felt a sense of nausea and a hazy feeling as if something was watching him.

It felt like walking alone in a dark alley late at night.

The cold and damp wind blew through my chest, and I always felt like someone was watching me in the darkness - that level of uneasiness.

An absolute shortcut...or perhaps an absolute trap.

Although this level of suspicion made Aiwass feel a little ridiculous... it was precisely because of the strong disgust in his heart that he chose to refuse.

"...No, I still refuse."

Aiwas thought about it seriously for a long time, but still smiled and rejected the temptation seriously and politely: "I would rather pay the price of flesh and blood, life, or even energy level... but this price is too heavy for me. So... thank you, but it's not necessary.

"I still hope... that the legend of this sword will stop here. Merlin is right, this sword is still too magical. It can silently and permanently rewrite a person's mind... Even I don't have the confidence to control this level of curse.

"…If you believe Merlin and think it's a living beast, then the fact that 'Galahad can use the sword normally without falling' may be a trap set by it. Letting one prey go to trick more prey into falling into the trap... There are beasts that are smart to this extent."

Once he made his choice, Aiwass suddenly felt completely relaxed.

Although it is a bit regretful...but the decision has been made and Aiwass will not regret it.

If it was before the "separation and reunion" of Aiwass, Aiwass, who had not yet realized his true heart, might have accepted it.

But Aiwass no longer does that.

Every bit of his current personality comes from his past experiences and from the family and friends around him.

The feelings of sacrifice and transcendence that he has now reached the fifth level all come from Aleister's sacrifice, Isabel's love... from his eldest brother's affection, Sherlock's friendship... and even from his adoptive father's expectations, as well as every good or bad person he knows. His growth was not achieved overnight, but was tempered from one event after another.

He didn't want to fall into the divine nothingness like the "Pope Aiwass" of the past; nor did he want to be like the "beastly Aleister", with such unruly desires.

Every bit of his current personality was earned by him personally, and he doesn’t want to lose it.

Any deviation that occurs out of nowhere may mean that an experience loses its meaning.

——Just like when playing a single-player game, Aiwass doesn't like to use cheats. It's good to be able to save time and energy on meaningless "grinding props"... But if you can get endless resources and props that you can't get in hundreds of hours with just a click of your finger, then wouldn't the time spent on grinding props be wasted?
A memory from childhood suddenly emerged in Aiwas' mind:
When his family was still intact, he used to like playing Pokémon games with an emulator. Even though it was a single-player pirated game that couldn't play online, and even the Chinese translation had some problems... he still enjoyed it.

You will constantly encounter new Pokémon in the bushes, fight against NPCs to earn money, plant berries, and breed eggs... Even if the Pokémon you breed cannot be used to fight others, just capturing and breeding them is fun in itself.

But one day, he found a modifier on the Internet.

With just a few taps, you can modify the values ​​of the Pokémon in your backpack. Whether it is the full individual or rare characteristics, or the money, level and experience in the backpack... or the Pokémon or even legendary Pokémon that you get at the rookie stage, it is easy.

He played excitedly for a while, constantly trying out new openings and team compositions. But one day, he suddenly felt bored.

——He could no longer calm down and repeatedly fight to gain experience, nor could he ride a bicycle to hatch the backpack of eggs. If the modifier could easily do this, then deliberately ignoring it and continuing to waste time would be nothing more than playing house to deceive himself. He even felt for a moment that the happiness in the past was just a meaningless waste of time...

There are many more experiences like this...

When Aiwass recalled this incident, those memories that seemed to have not existed in Aiwass's mind before were suddenly unlocked one by one -

In Diablo II, a small amulet with +2 skill levels is obtained through a modifier;
When playing RPG games, directly let the protagonist's team obtain all members' magic equipment;

When playing action games, the character you control gets actions or skills that require repeated dungeon play to unlock in the early stages... Once you've tried that, there's no going back. After a brief moment of ecstasy, you suddenly feel that the game has lost its fun... Or, the fun that was originally gained slowly is quickly acquired and consumed in a short period of time, but it does not leave any memories worth cherishing.

There is one thing in common when using modifiers, which is that it makes you feel that your past self who spent a long time to swipe for resources and props was stupid - but you were obviously happy because of this sense of achievement at the time.

Is that kind of happiness also a kind of stupidity?

But he clearly remembered how vivid they were.

Even the shining memories themselves have become cheap.

"——I cannot accept the sudden change of my self-awareness."

Aiwass said seriously: "I always feel like I have done something similar wrong before... This feeling is annoying."

Isabel suddenly seemed to sense something and looked up at the sky.

There was clearly an empty ceiling there.

But for some reason, Isabel felt as if there was an eye watching them. It was as if Janice was watching her in the painting...

Dream world, focus point.

Huan Tiansi, who was staring closely at Aiwass in front of the screen, raised the corners of his mouth slightly.

A strand of silver was wrapped around the index finger of his left hand - it was a bunch of memories he had just retrieved from his brain.

Just now, through Aiwass's confirmation, he found another memory that could be confirmed as real.

In order to protect this memory from being eroded by the Whisper of the Void, he sent it into Aiwass's mind.

He has done this many times.

Every time I do it with extreme caution.

It was like trying to salvage some files that were not infected by the virus from a computer that had been infected and sending them to a backup machine. Unless he was sure that the memory was absolutely correct, he would never pass it on.

Of course, strictly speaking... it was not "transmission", but unblocking. They were the same person, just like two computers in an Internet cafe, both connected to the same database. However, Huantiansi blocked Aiwass's memory reading permission for "all Xiao Ai", so Aiwass's memory was so vague and fragmented.

——Any memory of his could be fictitious.

Because the so-called "memories" are just a thought. Only the memories that Aiwass also has can be sure that they are real.

"Even if you don't remember anything, you are still instinctively resisting the whispers of the void..."

As expected of me - Huan Tiansi should have had such a thought.

But his remaining emotions were so cold that he couldn't even express such praise. He looked at all this with a calm heart. The whole world was separated from him by a huge barrier - no one could understand him, just as he couldn't contact anyone.

But soon, a new idea came into Huan Tiansi's mind:
If he separated all his memories bit by bit and gave them to Evans...who is the real person?
Who is the real snake? And who is the discarded tail?
"Long-winded."

Seeing Aiwas completely destroy the red-handled sword under Haibasha's guidance, Huan Tiansi breathed a sigh of relief and said calmly: "That kind of thing is not important at all. What, are you anxious?"

The so-called snake with its tail in its mouth... is a snake that cannot distinguish between head and tail.

——The head of a snake is its tail, and the tail of a snake is its head.

(End of this chapter)