death of hope

Chapter 1019 "Psionic Storm" (93) Awakening

"Young man, take it easy. Your symptoms are very mild. There are plenty of people in our hospital with much more severe symptoms than you. Injections and medications only play a supporting role. The main thing is for you to relax and have a positive attitude."

The doctor patted Li Ang on the shoulder and said with a smile:
"Let alone you, even we psychology students are not immune to making mistakes."
Humans are emotional beings; they can't maintain rationality all the time. Otherwise, salespeople would be out of work long ago.

"Thank you, Dr. Ando... You're so kind..." Li Ang put on his coat and politely took his leave.

Leaving the clinic, with the newly prescribed antidepressant in my pocket, I eagerly unscrewed a bottle of mineral water as soon as I got in the car, poured the capsules from the bottle into my palm, and gulped them down with the water.

He skillfully lowered the sun visor, closed the windows, reclined the seat, put on an eye mask, and took a short rest in the parking lot.
Recently, Li Ang has been suffering from insomnia and depression. He smokes and drinks heavily at night, staring blankly at videos, and can only catch up on sleep in short intervals during the day.

The new drug took effect quickly. The smart bracelet reported that Li Ang's heart rate dropped from 120 to 86, and his cortisol level also dropped to normal. His stress, headache, and annoying ringing in his ears all lessened.

(This medicine is really good... but the price...)
Li Ang knew full well that there was no such thing as a free lunch. He pulled a thick stack of instructions from the box containing the medicine bottles. The section on "Side Effects" was filled with densely packed lines of small print. Sure enough, the more effective the medicine, the higher the price.
In the past, given Li Ang's personality, he would have definitely read it carefully. But now, exhausted both physically and mentally, he was too lazy to even look at the side effects instructions and just threw it into the trash bag.
(Whatever... Oh well... at least I'm alive...)
·
Looking in the rearview mirror, I saw my skin was dull, my eyes were bloodshot, and I looked terrible. In the past month, I first developed bad habits like smoking and drinking, then became addicted to drugs, and I also stopped my daily disciplined exercise and studies.
Insomnia, depression, and self-abandonment are not caused by any intractable disease, but by more fundamental reasons;

Li Ang fell into self-doubt, questioning the worldview and philosophy of life he had formed since childhood.
It's about glorious dreams and the dark reality, about what is right and what is wrong;
He heard footsteps. Li Ang alertly lifted a corner of his blindfold and saw a family of three passing by. The parents were dressed in tattered clothes, but the child was the only one wearing new clothes.

These illegal immigrants work multiple jobs, placing their hopes for the next generation in the prosperous metropolis of Shin-Sapporo, scrimping and saving to send their children to school. The same is true of Li Ang's hometown.

As a child, Li Ang, a rich young master, looked down on the excessive pampering of his children by some poor parents in the lower rungs of the city of Iks.
After experiencing many things, Li Ang finally understood that love does not need rationality or reason.

Remembering how that spirit uncle glared at me fiercely yesterday, calling me a "company dog," and how he pleaded with the director, willing to betray his faith and his comrades to save his daughter...

Reflecting on all his actions, he shackled the Elven girl Evelyn Darkmoon, locking her up like livestock to await dissection and research.

Thinking of Anna, the crazy woman, repeatedly chanting her lover's name 'Roy'; thinking of Miss Yuna, who underwent countless craniotomies, autopsies, and radiation experiments, yet still believed she was receiving treatment, completely fooled by herself…

I felt so guilty I was about to explode, and I felt indescribably miserable. Even taking a whole box of medicine couldn't relieve it.

(To return to the upper echelons of Ix... how many more innocent people's blood and tears must I trample on...) Leon thought, clutching his chest.

·
A pampered young nobleman living a life of luxury in the upper echelons of the city of Iks, he has now fallen to earth as an exiled illegitimate child.
Arriving on this unfamiliar planet, in this unfamiliar city, amidst the bustling yet indifferent crowds, experiencing human suffering, undergoing workplace trials and moral judgment...

Despite wearing a blindfold, he could still touch the 'Cadillac' emblem on the steering wheel. This limited-edition luxury car was a reward from the director, a reward he earned by trampling on the dignity and bodies of innocent people. It was terrible. This feeling... he felt like he had made a pact with the devil, a blasphemer who was harming humanity... Li Ang's mind was a mess, a complete jumble, and he soon fell into a deep sleep.

·
Strong antidepressants all have sedative and sleep-inducing effects. I took a half-hour nap in the car, then was woken up by my alarm. I rubbed my eyes; it was time to go back to work.

The medication and rest were indeed effective; even the security guard said Li Ang looked much better.

Back at the research institute, down to floor B14, his project team colleagues had just finished their lunch break and were busily working in their respective offices or labs, none of them having a chance to greet him.
The director praised Li Ang at yesterday's meeting; thanks to his psychological therapy, Subject Zero has stabilized, and there haven't been any psionic bursts in recent months. The project team no longer needs to live in fear, research progress is advancing rapidly, and a large amount of valuable psionic data has been collected.
Human psionics has never been so close to a 'technological explosion,' Joseph confidently declared, patting his chest. He assured everyone that he wouldn't monopolize the glory; the entire project team would share in the Nobel Prize honor, their names etched in the annals of Terran history, not to mention the enormous company bonuses and bright futures ahead.
The researchers opened champagne at the meeting, their faces beaming with the joy of victory. Only Li Ang wore a bitter expression as he stared at the PPT on the projection screen.

(Project Zero is on the verge of victory... What will become of Yuna-san...?)
·
Clearly, this is a sensitive issue. Li Ang is just crazy, not stupid; at least he's not stupid enough to ask the old man and his confidants.

Near the vending machine, he found Dr. Lu Sikai, a caffeine addict, and treated him to the most expensive extra-large cup.
This person was one of Joseph's most prized students. He used to work overtime and have late-night snacks and play cards with Leon. Over time, the two became very close.

First, he told two funny jokes, which made Dr. Lu laugh out loud. It wasn't that Li Ang had a talent for comedy, but that Dr. Lu's threshold for laughter was always very low. After he finished laughing, he casually asked his question.

Lu Sikai did not suspect Li Ang. The greasy middle-aged man looked around to make sure no one else was there, and whispered to Li Ang.

"Don't tell the teacher or group leader that I told you."

Project Zero is nearing completion. The final data extraction requires putting the Zero Talent into a vegetative state, removing the excess Q organs, and performing tracheal intubation to establish an external circulation system. This vegetative state may need to be maintained for several weeks.

Finally, the parts related to psychic energy—her brain tissue, spinal cord, and vital organs—will be cut into micron-sized slices and preserved on glass slides for observation, much like a doctor examines tumor pathology. This will allow for a microscopic examination of the connection between psychic energy and human tissue; simply put, it's about creating specimens.

Li Ang felt a chill run down his spine. Despite B14's state-of-the-art temperature and humidity control system, ensuring a spring-like climate year-round, he still felt a sharp, icy coldness surge from his back to his brain.
This answer was not unexpected, but hearing it from someone else's own mouth was still shocking.

Under the guise of researching psychic powers, they committed such atrocities against their innocent Terran brethren.
Every psionicist speaks with righteous indignation, glorifying it as sacrificing small things for great progress, claiming that this is how all human progress has come about.
The most terrifying thing about sacrificing others to achieve one's own goals is that Li Ang previously didn't see anything wrong with this idea at all...

Li Ang thanked Dr. Lu and watched him leave. He felt like his head was about to explode; he desperately needed to vent, like a pressure cooker needing a pressure relief valve.

He took a disposable paper cup from the vending machine, crumpled it into a ball, and slammed it headfirst into the machine, startling a passing cleaning lady.
(Maybe... I'm going crazy... or maybe I'm awake...)