40k: Midnight Blade.

Chapter 799 20. Lame Pastor (I)

". People with pale faces, calloused hands, disabled people, and poor people have no intention of listening to your explanation of the scriptures. Therefore, any theological student who chooses to preach should understand one thing: you must first love them, solve their problems, feed them and their children, and then you can preach the words of the Emperor of God."

"However, before you start any official work, you should first pay attention to the attitude of the local rulers towards you. Some poisonous snakes are good at hiding themselves, pretending to be hypocritical and kind to lure you into the trap. You must distinguish between greedy people, incompetent people, truly trustworthy people, and the snakes hidden among them. Unfortunately, I don't have much experience to teach you about this matter. You can only rely on your own eyes."

The apprentice named Naro put down the book, took a pen beside him, and copied down the part about the pale and thin face from the book.

The candlelight flickered, and the words gradually spread in the light, turning into pure bright red on the white paper - the monastery only provided red ink, and it was said that the raw material was the blood voluntarily donated by devout believers.

It sounded horrifying and somewhat unreal, but Naro knew it was true.

After he wrote this sentence, he put down his pen and picked up his notes, flipping through them for a while.

A full month had passed since the whole year of study, and he had already read most of the books in the chapel. For him, this was a very slow pace, but his current energy was not enough to support him to read at full capacity, let alone study all day.

In fact, he could only sit in front of the desk for four to seven hours a day. The rest of the time, he was almost always gasping in pain on the bed.

And today's study time is over.

He stood up, picked up the book, smoothed the pages, closed it carefully, limped to the bookshelf, and put it back to its original place.

A dull bell rang from the world outside the chapel. The lame apprentice turned around, went back to the desk, blew out the candle, picked up the notes, and slowly walked towards an inconspicuous brown-black wooden door.

Behind it is the place where he has rested and lived for the past month.

Apprentices like him who did not pass the test could not get a formal residence in the monastery, but this did not mean that the conditions here would be poor. In fact, for a person - even a tall person like him - here is more than enough.

A soft bed, a bathroom, a kitchen. What more could he ask for?

Nairo placed the book on the bedside, sat down slowly, and took off the pale white robe that represented his apprenticeship with difficulty. His body was terribly thin, like a dying man with skinny bones, and there were scars all over his body.

These healed wounds overlapped and intersected with each other, almost replacing every inch of his skin, making this body look extremely terrifying. He looked down at himself, raised his hand and touched his chest in silence. The touch sent back by his fingers was strange and unfamiliar, not like touching his own body at all.

He stood up, changed into a set of white cloth clothes, and dragged his body towards the kitchen.

The food that was delivered once a week by a special person had been sorted and placed. The non-perishable and easy-to-store food was piled in the corner, the pickled meat was hung high up, and as for the precious things like vegetables, they were placed in a cellar under a trap door and stored at a natural low temperature.
This is actually a bit ridiculous, because this monastery is located on a technologically advanced space station, how could they not have things like refrigerators?
But Nairo understood why they did this - or rather, the purpose of all this.

Studying alone, living alone, isolated from the world, and only talking to oneself every day, this lasted for a whole year. At the end of the year, there was a test to see if the apprentice had really read all the books in the chapel.
This selection mechanism is very strict. Being able to endure loneliness may not be a difficult thing, but what if other conditions are added? For example, being able to plan study and rest time every day when alone, and persevering in struggling with these obscure books that even involve dialects.

Nairo thought about it, and finally, he even felt that the final test might not be easy.

He believes that in addition to written tests, there should be tests on physical fitness, eloquence and even self-defense ability.
After all, this monastery had the lowest graduation rate in the entire Nuceria system, and it was well-known throughout the Empire for producing determined and highly qualified missionaries.

Knowing this, these deliberate designs can be understood.

It should be noted that missionaries are a very popular branch option within the state religion, and also one of the most dangerous.

Any man or woman who sets out on this journey will be warned countless times that their future will often be entangled with hardship: lack of food and clothing, disease, a completely unfamiliar new world, suspicious or distrustful eyes, and the disgust of local rulers.
One of them is enough to give you a headache, let alone all of them? Sometimes it even has to be worse, such as arriving to find that the world is in the midst of war or chaos.

From a book in the church, Nairo learned that this kind of thing was not uncommon.

A missionary named Larustos arrived at his destination after a three-year journey, only to find that it had become half a dead world. The remaining people and the resistance could only shrink in the underground system to survive, while the rebels were gaining momentum.
Naro cut off his thoughts and started cooking for himself.

He was clearly not good at it; the meat was burnt, the vegetables had too much salt, and the main course of nutritional paste had been heated to the point of being completely loose, looking like the ashes left after someone had been hit by plasma, and it was even emitting smoke.

He ignored it, just walked to the dining table with three plates and started eating.

The horrible smell of the nutritional paste due to overheating did not change his expression at all. He bit the burnt meat into pieces along with the skin and bones, and finished the vegetables in a few hasty bites, as if he was a person without a sense of taste - and the fact was indeed not much different.

How can a person who doesn't know what is "delicious" or "unpalatable" cook food correctly?
The lame disabled man stood up with the help of the table and started to clean up the kitchen.

He had never done anything like this before, but now he did it without any boredom. As for any thoughts of "lowering one's status"? He had absolutely no such thoughts.

In fact, the only thought in his mind now was to get back to bed as soon as possible. His body had begun to rebel, and his trembling legs were the best proof of that.

A few minutes later, he returned to the bed and fell headfirst. As before, he could not fall asleep, but just kept panting and trying to hold back the groans of pain.

At five o'clock the next morning, he dragged his exhausted body to the bathroom. After a quick wash, he changed into the apprentice's white robe, left the living area, and devoted himself to studying again.

This monotonous life lasted for another three months. One day after three months, he walked out of the chapel with two notebooks filled with words on every page.

The acolyte on duty saw this and walked over, shaking his head. He had been in the monastery for nineteen years and had seen countless young people who were full of confidence walk into this small church, then open the door dejectedly before the time came and announce in a low voice that they were going to quit.

He thought that this tall but lame apprentice was one of them, but he never expected that the other party just raised the two notebooks in his hand to him and said that he wanted to apply for an early test.

Two hours later, the acolyte who was in charge of escorting Nairo hurried to the outside of the examination room.

He had known about this early in the morning, but was in the middle of a class and could not make it. He had time to come only now. However, he did not expect that the hunchbacked and disabled young man had already come to the last big question, which was jokingly called the "ultimate question".

He had already answered a total of sixty-four questions, and as long as he finished this one, the written test would be over.

The acolyte walked over to his colleagues and asked a few questions in a low voice. Their answers surprised him greatly—everyone praised Nairo, and some even said that he would become one of the most outstanding priests in the Talid Monastery in the future.
However, before he could read Nero's answers, the young man in the examination room stood up and handed in his paper.

The chief examiner, a white-haired old man, looked at the parchment roll in his hand again and again, and finally raised his head very hesitantly and asked, "Are you mistaken, apprentice?"

"That's right," said Nero. "That's what I thought."

"But, this -" The chief examiner frowned and took a deep breath. " - Well, I think we need to discuss it." He turned around, walked out of the examination room, and handed the parchment roll in his hand to the other examiners without saying a word. They were also obviously surprised after seeing the contents on it.

Soon, the apprentice's answer reached the ears of the acolyte.
"What? He really answered like that?" the acolyte asked in disbelief.

His colleagues nodded solemnly, and one of them spoke rather angrily.

"He must have done it on purpose, just to show off! He answered the first 64 questions perfectly, but he just said 'I don't know the answer' on the last question? These young people... Oh!"

He sighed heavily, and his disappointment in his child was obvious.

The acolyte couldn't help but blush. Although whether Naro did well or not had nothing to do with him, as the one who brought him in through the interview, he felt that he still had some obligations to him.
With this mentality, he spoke hesitantly, defending Nairo a little: "Young people are all like this, Korg Acolyte."

"You can't write 'I don't know'!" Korg said bitterly. "The question is very simple - how can you be loyal to the Emperor? Ask yourself, isn't this question something that even a child can answer?"

"Yes, a child can answer this, but it may not be correct." Another colleague took over. "However, there is no so-called correct answer to this question. As long as it is reasonable and logical, it will pass. But our outstanding apprentice answered "I don't know"

He shook his head, made the Sky Eagle Salute in front of his chest, and said nothing more.

"Silence!" the chief examiner suddenly shouted.

The acolyte looked up and found that the senior priests - the examiners - had finished their discussion and the parchment scroll was back in the hands of the chief examiner. He looked around until no one was talking, then he grabbed the exam paper and walked back into the examination room. The thin stone wall could not block his conversation with Nero, and everyone could hear their conversation clearly.

"That's not an appropriate answer, Padawan, you know that?"

"I see."

"In some of the more rigid monasteries, that answer would get you in big trouble."

"Prison or death penalty?"

"No." The chief examiner shook his head. "It's probably worse than that - believe me, you don't want to know how those fanatics treat dissidents."

“Your words almost sound like you’re saying one thing: I’m different from them.”

The old man was surprised by the apprentice's boldness, but he still smiled.

"Yes, the Talid Monastery is a missionary branch of the State Church. We value other qualities more than fanaticism, bigotry, or anything else."

The smile faded and his expression turned serious again.

"But this does not erase the fact that you answered this question very badly. For this reason, I must ask you one thing. Do you really mean this? Do you not know how to be loyal to the Emperor?"

"I don't know." said the lame and hunchbacked apprentice. "That's exactly what I really think."

"So." The chief examiner frowned, trying to excuse him. "I guess you are more of a believer in actions speaking louder than words?"

"Don't say that, sir. What I wrote on the test paper is what I really think in my heart. Maybe as time goes by, I will find new answers. But now, no matter how many times you or anyone else asks me, I can only say that I don't know."

The chief examiner was silent for a while, then gestured for the apprentice to sit down. He turned around, picked up a heavy chair, and sat down opposite him.

"Listen to me, child, if you wish me to call you that."

The apprentice nodded.

The old man put down the test paper, no longer paying attention to it, but sincerely started a new topic.

"You've obviously been through some unfortunate things. The pain in your heart has long since overflowed, and you can see it on your face and body. This is scary. I've seen people who have become numb because of it, and I've also seen people who are in agony because of it. But for someone like you who almost lives with it, I can't imagine what kind of thing you've encountered."

Nairo's lips twitched, and then he answered slowly, "Many things, Reverend Mu Kada, so many that I can no longer describe them in words."

As expected, the old man sighed.

"I know, I know," he whispered. "Those farmers who were hit by disasters, those parents who lost their children, those poor people who lost their lovers always ask me after they encounter misfortune, why?"

"They always ask, why is this happening? Why us? Why is the Emperor punishing us like this? Are we not pious enough to him? These are difficult questions for any priest to answer because you have no way of answering them."

"It is written everywhere in the theological classics of the state religion that if you believe in the emperor, you can have a happy and fulfilling life. In my opinion, this sentence should be changed. Piety is of no help to life, because 'life' is originally a beast full of malice."

"It is eyeing everyone equally, just like the galaxy is eyeing humans. As long as it has the chance, this evil beast will bite you hard. Natural disasters and man-made disasters are nothing more than this. Therefore, I will no longer demand anything from these people. On the contrary, I have only endless tolerance and compassion for them."

"In the final analysis, it is their faith that fails to protect those they want to protect from disaster and misfortune."

After the old man finished his summary, he looked up again and looked at the apprentice.

"So I won't blame you, kid, and I won't condemn you. Our faith is essentially a spiritual shield, and it often doesn't help us in real life."

The apprentice was silent for a moment, then said, "Does that mean I failed the test?"

"No, you passed, but not the missionary's pass," said the old priest named Mu Kada. "For someone like you who is in great pain, full of anger and confusion, I would recommend you to study at another monastery."

"where?"

"You'll know."

(End of this chapter)