This fox fairy is too inhuman

Friends, maybe life is doomed to be full of regrets

Although the title is very literary, it is actually a wet leave application note.

For some reasons, I stayed up all night yesterday and cried in disgrace in the restaurant in the morning.

Although I slept for two hours in the afternoon, I still felt a splitting headache and had no choice but to ask for leave.

tomorrow!

Will definitely start double updates tomorrow!
……

As for what follows, it's just some self-talk that comes from emotional agitation.

Let’s just look at it and don’t take it to heart.

I don’t use Weibo, Tieba, Hupu, Quanquan, Douyin, etc. I even don’t want to post in Moments after work. There are no channels for sharing.

But I still want to find a place to record this matter.

……

As for the reason, I briefly mentioned it a few days ago.

My girlfriend and I broke up.

Well, amicable breakup.

We have been together for six years since college, and stayed together for two years during that time, but in the end we ended up with an amicable breakup.

I didn't sleep all night until I met her at the restaurant at nine o'clock.

She proposed the breakup on Thursday morning. Although it was hard to accept, we made an appointment to meet on Saturday.

The adult world is like this. Even if you want to cry or break down, you have to do it outside of the working day.

I thought we would chat for a long time, but within an hour, there was nothing more to say.

I originally thought that I might say something harsh and bitter, and sort out every bit of the past and the grievances I had suffered.

But when I saw her, I found that I couldn't say anything unpleasant.

I am not a person who is used to hurting others with words, and I am even less willing to hurt someone I don't hate.

I couldn't speak.

Reality is not the plot of a novel, it does not require logic, and there are no fierce conflicts or slaps in the face.

None of us are wrong in this matter.

There is no third party who comes from nowhere to intervene, there is no change of heart over time and empathy for others, there is no vicious best friend and friend to interfere with it...

What we are facing is just a very clichéd and realistic story.

It's just a story about a poor boy with a poor family background and a rich girl with no worries about food and clothing. Although they once fell in love, they eventually drifted apart due to the pressure of life, and chose to actively let go to free each other.

But friends, the more realistic this is, the more deeply powerless it makes people feel.

I couldn't even form the words to save myself.

From the beginning, the pressures faced by the two of us were different.

For her, she has had many things that I have never had since she was born, such as cars, houses, etc., and a happy life.

Even though her current job doesn't make much money, it's enough for her and she doesn't need to work hard anymore.

For her, what needs to be considered is how much will she have to pay if she really takes the next step in the future?How long do you have to wait?

And I have to bear and carry everything that is on my shoulders and work hard for life.

My father died of leukemia when I was four years old, and my mother took care of me alone. I also had asthma and other diseases and had constant ailments. The two of us lived a difficult life relying on each other.

I don’t want to say how miserable my life is. There must be people in the world who are more unfortunate than me and have a more difficult life than me. I can still support myself, which is actually pretty good.

But I did sacrifice a lot and gave up a lot of things I could have had.

But I feel like I’ve worked really hard, really.

I chose to study abroad in North Africa and work-study in the local area in my spare time. I chose to work in Africa for two years after graduating from college, and then tried to write novels in my spare time to add extra income...

In order to maintain this relationship, I returned from abroad and resigned from my last job.

Tired?

tired.

Regret?
No regrets.

I vow not to be a human being without repaying the kindness of giving birth to someone in this life.

Not only that, I also need to thank so many people who have helped me along the way.

Thanks to them, my mind has not been distorted and I have been able to grow up healthily to this day and become my mother's support.

I now live not only for myself, but also for those who have given me a helping hand.

I won't live up to that feeling.

But after I repaid all my debts, I also wanted to live for myself.Do what you want to do, write the stories you want to write, and enjoy your life.

From the beginning, there was no choice to give up, only to keep going.

But this takes time, a long period of time that cannot be skipped unless a huge amount of money falls from the sky or it becomes popular overnight.

I was used to this situation and could grit my teeth and get through this difficult time, but she couldn't wait any longer.

Her youth is not that long.

I never asked her to bear this pressure with me, but I couldn't ask her to continue waiting...

Instead of continuing to use the good memories of the past to comfort yourself and resist the hardships of today, it is better to keep the memories in the present moment and leave the remaining good things to the other person.

I understand her choice.

It’s just that deep down in my heart, I’m actually really sorry.

It's a pity that she didn't choose to wait for me.

After talking it all out, we wiped away our tears and hugged one last time.

After this hug, we are no longer the closest lovers, but are destined to only exist in the past as a memory.

Maybe we can still be regarded as friends who have not been in contact with each other for a long time, right?
that's it.

The story between us ends here.

The ship that carries our memories also ran aground and anchored in the sixth year, destined to never sail again.

We made a mistake and failed to keep the promises we made to each other. Those previous vows dissipated in the cold wind.

The dream I had that year never came true.

But we are also free.

She might be better off without me.

Without her, I no longer have to worry about many things.

I wish her all the best in her future life.

And I will continue to work hard to survive the long lightless night...

Alone.

……

In fact, when we have reached this point, we have already been prepared in our hearts, but we have always thought that if we persist a little longer, maybe the future will be bright?
Unfortunately, reality is the cruelest thing and will not change according to personal wishes.

But, my friends, can you tell me?

Is life destined to be full of regrets?
maybe.

Failure may occur throughout life, but success will eventually come.

Life is destined to be full of regrets, but there should also be a day of perfection.

Maybe, I just haven't waited yet.

Just wait, maybe the future will be better.

Until then, I won't fall.

I will keep moving forward, moving forward, and moving forward.

"But I just don't want to turn!"

……

Speaking of which, I suddenly thought of something very darkly humorous...

Today is Singles' Day.

It’s time to return to the essence of the holiday.

Anyway, this is my regret.

Your regret is that I took leave today.

(Lol)

I wish you all can be happier and luckier than me and find your own happiness.

No more talking, I'm going to order a song for myself.

"Single Love Song", "Decent", "Let's break up", "Babble", "Ruomeng"...

"I only hope you can be saved."

2023.11.11 Bahlen

(End of this chapter)