My Healing Games

Chapter 946 Me and My Sins
If sin had a color, it would be black, because the world I saw after my eyes were gouged out became that color.

Feelings of inferiority and timidity seem to be something I was born with. No matter how hard I try, I can't deceive myself. I can only hide them in my heart and pretend that I don't care.

But as I grew older, they didn't disappear. Instead, they formed a seed that took root and sprouted in my dirty, damp, and dark soul.

Its roots spread through my veins, wrapped around my heart, and twisted every nerve in my body.

I had many unusual ideas, such as tormenting myself and punishing my cowardice with pain; or to hurt others and let the dark, poisonous stems on my body crawl all over their happy faces.

Domination, coercion, and threats—as I took their lives, I felt a false sense of freedom, an illusion of being freed from the shackles of fate. Only then did my tense nerves relax slightly, like someone smoking a cigarette when they were extremely exhausted.

I don't have a particularly strong urge to kill; I can only say that compared to other things that happen in this world, I don't hate killing...

The butcher's knife, adorned with butterfly patterns, was aimed at the back of Shen Luo's head. The man standing among the thirty-one black boxes was about to strike when he suddenly heard footsteps coming from the passageway.

He ended his contemplation, turned to look at the exit, and a young man emerged from the dim light.

That was his most perfect work, and also his most failed work.

"Han Fei".

Almost at the same time, Han Fei, who had entered the eighteenth underground level, also confirmed one thing: the man standing in the thirty-one black boxes was Gao Xing himself.

The twin flowers have withered, Gao Cheng's soul has been scattered, and Kuang Xiao has given up everything to become the Unspeakable. The only ones left are Gao Xing and Han Fei.

Seeing his masterpiece at the end of his life, the man smiled. He slowly brandished the tip of his knife and said to all his masked subordinates, "Kill him."

Three simple words, yet they seemed like an inviolable rule of the world. Members of the three major criminal organizations, each burdened with guilt, walked towards the exit. Upon hearing those three words, Han Fei felt a tremor in his heart, and various suicidal thoughts flooded his mind. If it weren't for his extremely strong will, he might have already begun to frantically harm himself.

In the unspeakable realm of ghosts, people's hearts are merely toys. Except for a very small number of people, most living people cannot resist Gao Xing's commands, even after Gao Xing lost his shrine.

"You two leave this floor immediately." Han Fei was worried that the staff and Assistant Tao might be misled, and wanted them to get away as soon as possible.

When faced with the unspeakable, numbers are meaningless; dangerous weapons can become tools for slaughtering comrades. Only those who can resist the intrusion of the unspeakable spiritual realm are qualified to stop it.

"Brother Huang, don't make a move rashly. Protect yourself from behind." Han Fei had already gotten into position. He had never fought against so many people at the same time before. However, his goal was not to defeat them all, but to break through their encirclement, seize the offerings in the black box, and disrupt the ritual.

"Can you manage on your own?" Huang Ying asked, protecting Han Fei's back.

"Probably." Charging forward, Han Fei took the initiative to attack, as if he possessed not a greedy personality, but a fearless one.

Although the masked killers were numerous, their physical abilities and combat skills were far inferior to Han Fei's. Moreover, they also needed to protect the black box and prevent the "sacrifice" inside from being destroyed.

Han Fei had no weapon in his hand, but under the "training" of various vengeful ghosts, his entire body could be used as a weapon, each move deadly, giving his opponent no chance to strike a second time.

As long as the enemy's numbers continue to decrease, the number of psychopathic killers guarding the black box will decrease, and in order to protect the black box, they will have to be constantly distracted.

The man standing in the center of the black box stared at Han Fei. In his mind, Han Fei was just a substitute for the maniacal laughter, a "vessel" used to hold the black box. But who could have imagined that this "vessel" would grow to this point?

They are almost immune to unspeakable abilities, have flawless mental fortitude, and are highly experienced in using them, enabling them to take on ten opponents at once.

Compared to Han Fei, the core members of the three major criminal organizations seem somewhat weak. Those perverted killers who used to wantonly slaughter and toy with life have now become prey and toys in the hands of others.

If this dragged on any longer, more unforeseen events would occur. The man withdrew his gaze and focused all his attention on preparing to begin the ceremony.

The butterfly-shaped butcher knife in his hand landed on the back of Shen Luo's head, and amidst Shen Luo's screams, the tip of the knife slowly penetrated deeper into the head.

Blood flowed onto the butcher's knife, and beautiful patterns resembling butterfly wings appeared on Shen Luo's skin. Shen Luo did indeed possess a remnant of Meng's consciousness, and so far, there had been no mishaps.

The knife tip continued downwards, and Shen Luo's face, which was completely contorted with pain, suddenly began to change. His lips split open, and his ear-piercing screams gradually turned into hysterical laughter!

With excitement filling her eyes, Shen Luo raised her chained hand and grabbed the man's clothes, laughing wildly as if she had the most severe masochistic tendencies.

The man stopped holding the knife. The butterfly pattern didn't find anything foreign in Shen Luo's brain. This unlucky guy was extremely unlucky, but he was naturally optimistic. He never felt despair in his heart. He never even felt that he was very unlucky, just a little unfortunate.

"Did the dream abandon me? Or did you scheme against me?" The man looked at Shen Luo, who was laughing hysterically, and listened to that piercing laughter. He thought of that blood-red night many years ago.

In order to take revenge on Fu Sheng, and to destroy Fu Sheng's hope, the only surviving child at the time, like Shen Luo, laughed wildly in the blood of the other children.

The man was the last to leave, the unspeakable one. He didn't kill the child; out of deep-seated malice, he wanted the child to live in despair forever, to become like him, the monster he loathed most.

"Do you like laughing now?" The man grabbed Shen Luo's neck. He used to find this desperate and crazy laughter incredibly beautiful, but now it only sounded grating. "The day I've been looking forward to the most will not happen. The offerings I've prepared are enough to connect to that world."

A dim light appeared, and the man personally opened the hidden door leading to the nineteenth underground floor, revealing the enormous black box that Han Fei had seen in the shrine of memories.

Unlike the pure blackness of the shrine's memory world, the black box in reality faintly emits blue light spots, like the aurora borealis in the night, illusory and extremely shocking.

The man dragged Shen Luo toward the huge black box. The ghostly realm that shrouded the Eternal Life Building began to shrink, and the operation of the black box was also interfered with. Even more terrifying, the man's body was gradually merging with the black box.

He seemed to have never existed from the beginning, yet everyone could see him, and those who saw him were all affected by him, their repressed monsters were released, and they went mad.

Nightmares began to emerge from the man's body, and even Han Fei, who was fighting in the distance, could not tell whether this was reality or not.
The man poured everything he had into the black box, and the unspeakable power merged with the black box that was modeled after it. He seemed to regard this huge black box as his shrine in reality.

"I will carry all my sins with me as I embrace a new life."

The accusations against him spread into his nightmares, and the scene before him resembled the world seen by a severely mentally ill patient.

The thirty-one smaller black boxes surrounding the nineteenth-floor black box were opened in a fixed order by members of the three major criminal organizations.

The first box contained a specimen of a butterfly's corpse. The extremely ugly child was easily crushed by the nightmare and disappeared into the black box. Next was the black box containing the second brain. Han Fei could do without the other black boxes, but he had to take this one.

He had been moving toward box number two from the beginning, and now he finally found his chance.

As if by telepathy, the part of the Laughing Will hidden in Shen Luo's mind was also constantly monitoring Number Two's brain. Just as Shen Luo was about to be pulled into the dark dream, it seemed that small, tender hands appeared behind him. Those bloodied children's arms grabbed Shen Luo and dragged him towards the location of Number Two's brain.

When the nearby killers saw Shen Luo trying to escape, they rushed over to stop him. Shen Luo was a sacrifice; they could torture him, but they absolutely could not kill him before the ritual was completed.

Huang Ying, who hadn't made a move until now, saw that Han Fei was fighting desperately, so he rushed over as well.

Compared to those serial killers, Huang Ying had very little experience in killing; he had only received some special training from Han Fei in the deeper world.

He was no match for those murderers head-on, but Huang Ying possessed an ability they lacked: the nightmare shrouded in the black box had no effect on him, as if he himself were part of the nightmare.

The two sides engaged in a fierce struggle over Number Two's brain, while the offerings from the other boxes were thrown into the black box one by one.

An aura of despair kept gathering, like bait, to lure out another world.

Each of the thirty-one "items" in the boxes has experienced the deepest despair. Each of them was carefully selected and nurtured by the dream so that they could become the most desperate people and be qualified to inherit the Black Box.

The negative emotions they gained from the sacrifices intertwined with the nightmares within the black box, causing the dreamlike blue light spots to disappear. Nightmares and despair intertwined, forming the black dream that Han Fei had seen in the shrine of memories.

The ground beneath my feet was covered with black dreams, turning into a pitch-black mirror. What was reflected in the depths of the mirror was not reality, but the endless night.

Many people see that world for the first time in reality. They can be sure that the world is real, but there is a great distance between that world and reality, a distance that is extremely difficult to cross even in the most ineffable way.

One by one, the despair of the world plunges into a dark dream, and a bridge of despair is built in the dream, as if the deep world is their true home.

Whenever a soul filled with negative emotions and despair is overwhelmed, the bridge to the deeper world extends a little further.

However, unlike in the world of the shrine's memories, this time the bridge was only half-built. Due to Han Fei's frenzied killing, a total of thirteen boxes were preserved.

Han Fei was also seriously injured at this time, but this only aroused his ferocity. It was unclear whether it was because the Midnight Butcher's talent of increasing attributes as his health decreased was triggered, or for some other unknown reason, Han Fei behaved more terrifyingly than any other psychopathic killer.

He is like the most terrifying and cruel demon in the world, except that in order to become the worst person in the world, he chooses to kill all the other bad people in the world.

Fewer and fewer subordinates were being brought into the eighteenth underground level. The man in the dark dream silently watched everything. The day he had been looking forward to the most had been ruined, but strangely, he did not show any sadness.

“Fate has once again defied my expectations; it always has, and I’m used to it.” The man gathered an unspeakable power, the last vestige of his existence: “However, I will never bow to fate; I will respond to all injustice in the most ruthless way.”

The power of sin accumulates in the black box, and a joyful life is constantly filled with dark dreams.

"Han Fei, have you forgotten my despair here?" The man looked at the other twin flower in the world: "I guessed you would come to stop me, but I want to tell you that Fu Sheng chose destruction, so his final fate was destruction; you chose Fu Sheng, so your fate will also be destruction."

All sins surged toward the bridge connecting the world, and the man had to pave the way with his own soul, unspeakably giving his all; this was the last thing he had to do.

"The path that Fu Sheng couldn't take, you can't take either. Just like you thought that by stopping me, the calamity wouldn't erupt." The man seemed to be deliberately telling Han Fei something: "You've entered my memory shrine and seen the future I most hoped for. You think my most hoped-for future is one where the deep world and reality merge, and ghosts and monsters control the world?"

"Isn't that right?" Han Fei wiped the blood off his body and stood guard in front of box number two.

"Have you noticed something? In the future I most desire, there's nothing related to dreams, no trace of their existence." The man's figure began to blur: "The future I most desire is a world of ruin, death, and despair, a world where dreams don't exist. There, I've completely escaped it."

It seems that the will of dreams has other plans, and happiness seems to have truly been abandoned.

The unspeakable despair became a bridge, but the bridge built of sin could not ultimately reach the deeper world, but the man was not prepared to stop there.

He wanted to ignite his soul, consciousness, memories, everything, and make one last attempt with all that was unspeakable.

The moment of utter annihilation was about to arrive, and the man suddenly laughed. He seemed to have never experienced anything so joyful in his entire life.

The man's figure became increasingly ethereal. At that moment, a smart butler suddenly staggered towards the dark dream. She seemed unaccustomed to the body and, in her haste, she fell to the ground.

With her hands outstretched, she clumsily crawled toward the black box.

The man had actually noticed the smart assistant that was following Han Fei long ago. He watched it crawl like a worm in despair, slowly getting closer to him.

The smile on his face slowly disappeared. He silently watched the woman. Nightmares, despair, pain—no negative emotions could stop her.

"Don't look at me with that guilty, heartbroken look." The man seemed to be angered; he, who could face death with a smile, suddenly became irritable.

The consciousness hidden within the smart home system did not stop, stubbornly crawling towards the unspeakable thing that all the deranged killers in Shanghai feared.

As the two drew closer, and just as the smart home assistant's hand was about to touch the black box, the man's voice, which was fading away from the center of the nightmare, suddenly grew louder: "Don't come any closer to me!"

The lingering sins pushed the woman away violently, and the man turned and walked towards the unfinished bridge, never looking back.

The smart butler wanted to go with him, to do what it had never done for the child in its lifetime, but it was all too late.

The man burned with all his might, trying to force open the passage to the deeper world, but the Bridge of Despair still couldn't connect to that darkness.

He stood at the end of the bridge, gazing at the night sky of the deep world, his soul slowly dissipating.

Having lost his shrine and exhausted all his power, he came into this world with nothing, and ultimately left with nothing amidst people's hatred and fear.

He never repented, nor did he ever apologize to the innocent people he harmed. He was a complete monster, utterly evil and selfish.

To him, the dissipation of his soul was a happy thing, so he greeted the day with a smile. But when it was time to leave, he suddenly wanted to turn around and linger for a moment.

He doesn't love this world, but there is someone who has always loved him, hoping he will change time and time again, and still holding onto hope for him no matter how much he is hurt.

"I know who you are, but I can't say."

The man never looked back at the woman, and the bridge of despair he had built began to collapse between the inner world and reality.

He looked down at his sinful hands, his entire life filled with resentment, yet a trace of unspeakable love remained hidden in his heart.

"Because I am not worthy to be your child."

(End of this chapter)