It's a diary

Chapter 32 H
It seems that all unfortunate people and all extremely extreme prisoners have an unhappy family and a childhood that is unbearable to look back on...

Then, even if they are unfortunate themselves, they often encounter various things.

It may be poverty, it may be the death of a loved one, it may be illness...

There are too many situations that I cannot list and I dare not list them.

What I don’t understand, I’ve never understood. I didn’t understand it in 19 years, I didn’t understand it in 20 years, I didn’t understand it in 21 years… Even now, 22 is about to count down, and I still can’t think clearly.

Born into hardship, and then have to suffer all kinds of bad things.

Those who survive and are not crazy are strong; those who do not survive become crazy...

Some lunatics are so crazy that they want to pull everything away and leave completely, but most of them only think about how to leave decently without hurting the people left behind.

It's a mess, it's such a mess.

But in my head, that's how it is now.

Humans are born in poverty, so why does God love to tease the downtrodden more?
Can't bear to look back.Not worth mentioning.

No matter how much I say, they are always negative words.Then don’t talk too much.

When you are in a bad mood or in a bad state.Coffee with three cubes of sugar is bitter, and the bright sun is dazzling. Even the words spoken and written will be inexplicably tinged with sadness.

What's not sad?
Everything is a tragedy.

Wild geese; green mountains; falling flowers; flowing water; dusk; afterglow; bleak autumn wind; unfinished chapters; test papers full of x; a trace of white hair; ginkgo trees that fell to the ground; maple leaves and metasequoia trees that turned red overnight …

It's all tragedy.

I can't express what I want to say.

Suddenly I really want to go back to Beiyu.If I could leave, I would go to the station even if it was night shift.

You don’t need to bring anything, you just need to bring your power bank, mobile phone and my ID card.Maybe a coat is also needed - I don't want to go back to Beiyu sick. ——I'm afraid they will think that my choice to leave Beiyu was a wrong decision.

If there is a car, I will take a ride to the station.If not, I just walk over.

I can sit on the roadside for a night, I can sleep at the station for a night, I can...

It’s not necessary to go back to Beiyu.

It’s just that I have nowhere to go but that.

It’s so strange that the world is so big and I actually said there is no place to go.I must be confused.

I'm fine, my days are uneventful, and my life is as usual.

Just now, I was looking at the dark night outside, and I thought of the fireworks that went off in the southeast corner of the school last night for almost a night of self-study.

The lunch I ate today didn’t seem to taste that good.It’s strange. In fact, I was very happy at noon. At that time, I wanted to brag about today’s meal in this chapter.But now all I can think about is eating alone.

Obviously before, I have always been alone.

……

I may need to take a good nap, and maybe when I wake up, I won't be like this anymore.

I don’t know what it will be like, and there’s no way to know.

But it’s better to be better than now.

Want to cry.It seems that tears are shed more easily late at night.

Not annoying, but depressing.My chest feels so tight and my head hurts.This is what it means to be alive.

I want to have tea, especially shrimp dumplings... I hate getting up early and I don't like eating steamed buns.

Get some sleep, get some sleep, and wake up feeling like everything might be fine.

(End of this chapter)