It's a diary

Chapter 59d6
It has been raining since morning and has been raining till now.The pitter-patter never stopped.

I feel like there is a dark cloud above my head, and it follows me wherever I go.However, it does not thunder or rain... Sometimes I will thank it from the bottom of my heart for its appearance. Its existence makes me never afraid of the scorching summer sun.

Every day is not very interesting, it can even be said to be boring.I don’t want to do anything, I don’t want to get involved in other people’s lives, I don’t even want to leave a trace in this world.I really hope that time can stop at this moment.

I've always thought people are scary.Because I have seen them angry, I stubbornly believe that their usual friendly appearance is too fake.

In that case, everyone is a liar.

The rain came so suddenly that I could no longer see the green mountains in the distance through the white rain curtain.

Why.

Why do those trees stay green all year round, but we need to pray for the arrival of spring in the freezing cold winter nights?
unfair.

There is no fairness in human life.

I really wish someone would catch me and scold me now, so I would have a reason to cry.

Monday was the fastest day I have ever felt.In a daze, it just passed.

It's Tuesday now and I can't remember what happened yesterday.As long as I think about it, I will feel so sad, just like when I accidentally shed tears when cutting onions, I can't help but reach out to rub my eyes. The result is that it has no effect. Instead, my hands are stained with onion juice, and I shed tears. More .

Not happy, not happy every day, not happy at all, just as unhappy as a fake.

I thought of the sea in Beiyu, as if it was always so lonely.As the tide rises and recedes, the waves hit the rocks, and the ripples splash onto the trestle where no one is walking.

I hate everyone, but no matter what happens, the first thing I hate, and the one I always hate, is just myself.

I really want to be a selfish ghost.I don’t know if I can do it in my lifetime.

I hate getting along with people, it's too much trouble.I am also afraid that they will be angry or quarrel with them.After many quarrels, I realized that shutting up was the best way.If I ignore you, it's not because I hate you, it's just that I'm lazy, and it's also because I'm afraid that it will make the other person angry or cause an unnecessary quarrel.

Whatever you like, just say it.Just say whatever you want to say.Anyway, to me, people are just people.

I don’t plan to establish deep and long-lasting relationships with many people I meet by chance in the years to come, nor do I plan to occupy a certain position in their lives.Similarly, when they are here with me, the best they can do is treat each other like guests.

Maybe sometimes, by chance, you meet someone with whom you seem to be able to get acquainted with on a slightly deeper level.But as we get along with each other, I will find that it still doesn’t work.

When I was in Beiyu, I once talked about this with another teacher. At that time, I said: "How can there be such compatible souls in the world?"

Later, when a friend of mine was being ostracized by others, I said the same thing when he was talking to me.

Her answer to me was: "I know, but I don't want to force it. I'm willing to wait."

She is willing to wait, but she still has expectations. This is great. I hope she can get her wish in the future.

As for me, forget it.too tired.

It's snowing lightly.

I hope Xiaonian will come soon, but I don’t want it to come.To put it bluntly, it's like a child who wants to have a lot of money to buy sweets but doesn't want to grow up.

The world is so chaotic and people are complicated.

Everyone who is alive is great, and everyone who can live is great.Just like the grass, it is as tenacious and as full of vitality.

But.It's a pity that I don't.

(End of this chapter)