I'm afraid I'm not interested in love

Chapter 504: Asking for Pity

“How do you determine whether the world you live in is real?”

In the past two days, this question has been echoing in Su Chengyi's mind.

The mechanical AI voice repeated the same question over and over again.

In the past, he could have given various answers from the perspectives of science, philosophy, or metaphysics.

Maybe we can talk about the "brain in a vat" experiment, or we can just say something simple like "Pinch your thigh and see if it hurts."

but now.

Su Chengyi closed his eyes. He really felt that this world was a little too magical.

There must be a psychopathic playwright or novelist who is monitoring his every move and changing the course of his life at will.

I think the author has no purpose, it's just pure bad taste.

A socially anxious worker who has been a solo worker since birth is brought back to a non-existent timeline, where he begins to collect beautiful girls from all over the world and has them come to him in various fateful ways.

In the end, like an unscrupulous matchmaker, she was tying the red string under the Chinese Valentine's Day moon.

Even if it's a mess, it doesn't matter, as long as it's tied to him, it's done.

As for how he will resolve these complicated emotional lines in the future, it has nothing to do with a certain unprofessional matchmaker.

No, it could also be Yue Niang.

Su Chengyi felt that if the red lines were visualized, he would be entangled densely by them.

You know, he felt extremely guilty and completely exhausted just by trying to grab two of them.

Moreover, if they are all bad love affairs, it is okay and you can just ignore them.

By all means
Su Chengyi opened his eyes and looked at the black schoolbag hanging on the wall. The small sachet pendant was still hanging on the strap, and the words "peace" could be vaguely seen.

Why on earth couldn't he tell at all that there were red beans embroidered on it?

After realizing this feeling, Su Chengyi suddenly felt that many strange things suddenly made sense.

No wonder Lin Tong always looked worried and hesitant recently, and no wonder he made up a story about "a friend I have known since birth" at a drinking party.

No wonder Chen Jinzhi showed that kind of see-through smile when he met his parents last time.

Even if we put aside these wonders, the most obvious thing is actually every time Lin Zhiwan looks at him quietly.

It's really obvious.

She probably had never liked anyone before, so even though she was determined to keep this secret, she couldn't learn how to hide her feelings.

She was able to keep it a secret for so long only because the person she liked happened to be him, a person who was an insulator.

Su Chengyi covered his face and sighed.

How slow.

How come I didn't see it until now?

Let’s not talk about Lin Tong. After all, they are siblings who depend on each other, so it’s not surprising to see it.

It was the first time that Chen Jinzhi met Lin Zhiwan, but he already knew this clearly.

He was the only person involved who was still in the dark.

"Sister Lin doesn't like me, does she?"

To be honest, when this thought came to his mind, Su Chengyi felt that he was instantly in chaos and his head was buzzing.

Of course he wanted to deceive himself and force himself to accept that this must be a misunderstanding.

"Ah, how can you tell anything from a poem? Sister Lin might not even know what the poem means!"

"Don't be so narcissistic, young man! Do all the women in the world like you?!"

"Lin Tong treats you as a brother, do you want to be his brother-in-law? You are a scumbag!!!"

"."

But in the end he chose to accept reality.

This choice sobered Su Chengyi up a lot. He got up in a hurry, picked up all the scattered papers, and folded them on the table again.

Lin Zhiwan definitely didn't want him to know about this.

And Su Chengyi didn't want Lin Zhiwan to know that he already knew about this.

Therefore, in order to avoid the embarrassment of the meeting, before thinking of a solution, Su Chengyi's choice was -

Escape on the spot.

Of course, he called Lin Tong in advance to explain the situation.

"Mu Tou, I have some work to do this afternoon, so I'll go back first.

By the way, please thank Sister Lin for me. The honey grapefruit tea is delicious."

His tone was as calm as usual. Lin Tong didn't hear anything unusual and quickly agreed, only reminding him to be careful on the road.

This kind of pretended calmness may fool others, but it is obviously difficult to fool yourself.

In the end, what saved Su Chengyi from such confusion and guilt was the upcoming birthday of Chen Jinzhi.

On the evening of August 20th.

"What are you thinking about?"

When Chen Jinzhi's voice rang in his ears, Su Chengyi felt like a drowning man grabbing a life-saving straw.

But when he turned around and saw Chen Jinzhi's misty peach blossom eyes, Su Chengyi gave up the idea.

Now is the time to celebrate your birthday.

Su Chengyi touched the gift box in his trouser pocket, shook his head and replied:

"nothing."

The two were in the airport's underground garage, in the back seat of an inconspicuous silver-gray Audi.

It seems that the first stop every time I meet Chen Jinzhi is here, a bit like a meeting of spies.

Of course Chen Jinzhi could tell that he was not telling the truth, but she just said "hmm" and smiled meaningfully.

"."

When Chen Jinzhi suddenly became easy to talk to and easy to fool, it meant that something big was about to happen. She was either angry or secretly holding a grudge.

Su Chengyi had already suffered a lot in this matter, so when he saw her smile was not as bright as her eyes, he immediately raised his hands in surrender and took the initiative to confess:

"Okay, okay, I'm a little troubled these past two days. But I think it's certainly not as important as your birthday.

But if you want to know now, I will tell you. You are the birthday boy, so you are the oldest. "

"uh-huh."

Chen Jinzhi agreed and moved his gaze to the window while subtly lowering the corners of his mouth that were raised.

Fool.

What could it be?

Given this person's personality, if he is so troubled, it must be related to moral principles or guilt or something like that.

Well, if we connect the time a little bit.
Come to think of it, it's such an obvious thing. Even if you are a dumb person, it's time for you to wake up.

In the blink of an eye, Chen Jinzhi had already made up her mind, but she was still curious about how Su Chengyi would speak.

So she tucked her drooping hair behind her ears, turned slightly sideways, and nodded with a smile on her face, as if she was listening attentively.

Logically speaking, her posture would make people feel relaxed and willing to talk.

Su Chengyi had received many psychological counseling sessions in his previous life. Professional counselors often pay close attention to details such as sitting posture and facial expressions.

Chen Jinzhi is obviously also very suitable for this job. As long as she wants, she can make people feel that she is a kind, gentle and intimate sister, as if no matter what secrets they have, they can tell her all at once.

But only Su Chengyi knew that this guy was a real black-and-white. Plus, the topic he wanted to talk about was related to feelings, so he was a little nervous and had to avoid Chen Jinzhi's gaze awkwardly.

Su Chengyi cleared his throat and the first sentence he said was:
"Master, please drive first."

These are people from the studio, so there is no need to emphasize the destination and the like again. The drivers are also very well-educated. After all, they have all been screened and trained by Xiao Zheng, adhering to the basic principle of observing the nose with the eyes and the heart with the nose.

The car's engine started, and considering the average traffic jam time, Su Chengyi estimated that it would take at least 40 minutes to get there. Damn the evening rush hour in the Magic City.

Su Chengyi had to give up the idea of ​​delaying time and began to think about how to word the matter.

She had clearly assured Chen Jinzhi last time that they were just a sister and brother, and that she had never thought about it that way. It was obvious that she also treated him as a brother.
I didn't expect the slap in the face to come so quickly.

Su Chengyi sighed, and felt a little resentful about his own slowness.

"Well, actually I probably already guessed it."

Perhaps because she couldn't bear to see him looking so sad and sighing, Chen Jinzhi gently held his fingers.

"It's about what happened to Sister Lin last time, right?"

"Correct."

Su Chengyi was not surprised by her sharpness. He just scratched his hair and explained:

"I was telling you the truth last time. I really didn't notice this before."

"Ok, I know."

Chen Jinzhi smiled and rubbed his knuckles gently to comfort him.

"So, now that you know, what do you think?"

The end of her voice rose slightly, as if she was really curious.

Su Chengyi shook his head and replied:

"What I can be sure of now is that I don't have any feelings similar to 'like' for Sister Lin."

"Confident?"

"Convinced."

Su Chengyi always felt that he was very sure about this.

Because in his eyes, Lin Zhiwan’s first identity is “Lin Tong’s sister”, so from the very beginning, he would not have any unnecessary or inappropriate thoughts about her.

Chen Jinzhi nodded and changed the subject.

"Teacher Su, why do you think Sister Lin likes you?"

Su Chengyi thought about it and felt that this was not a particularly difficult question to answer.

"I think it's probably because I tried to help her and Lin Tong out of their predicament. It was really hard and difficult for the siblings to come this far. It was the first time they met someone who was willing to show kindness, so it was inevitable that they would put a filter on him.

So maybe Sister Lin misunderstood her gratitude towards me as love for me."

"No. Gratitude is gratitude, and liking is liking. There is a big difference."

Chen Jinzhi smiled lightly and denied this view.

"So, what if it wasn't me who helped her at that time, but someone else?"

Su Chengyi asked rhetorically.

"good question."

Chen Jinzhi nodded seriously.

"But this possibility actually supports my point."

“Because if that’s the case, the only thing we can be sure of is that she will be grateful to that person.

However, we have no way of knowing whether she will fall in love with that person.

This just proves that your helping her is only a sufficient but not necessary condition for her to like you."

"."

What a sufficient but not necessary condition.

Su Chengyi was left speechless by her logic.

"Ok."

Su Chengyi had no choice but to temporarily agree with this view and continued:
"Then, maybe it was because of my help that she developed a fondness for me and unconsciously beautified everything about me, so she liked me."

"That's it."

Chen Jinzhi did not rush to refute, but instead raised another question.

"Teacher Su, why did you want to help her at that time?"

"To be honest, I don't know."

Su Chengyi touched the back of his head and replied:
"I think I am a bit nosy,

He almost let it slip that it was "after rebirth", but quickly changed his words:

"Thinking back on it, I just feel that anything that happens in front of me must have something to do with me, otherwise why would I have to know about it?

So, after getting to know Lin Tong, learning about his experiences, and seeing Sister Lin's situation, I felt that I had to do something.

You don’t know, the houses they lived in at that time were all made of cardboard, which looked really…”

Having said that, Su Chengyi paused slightly.

"Too what?"

Chen Jinzhi asked.

Su Chengyi pondered for a while and replied:

“It’s so pitiful.

Although using this word may sound a bit condescending, if I have to say it, it is indeed true.

They were a poor family in such a remote area, with only the two siblings relying on each other, and sister Lin happened to be hearing-impaired.

This is the start of a hellish game, and I can’t just sit back and watch.”

“So, the origin of all this is sympathy.”

Chen Jinzhi supported his chin, thinking.

"right."

After the two of them talked, Su Chengyi roughly sorted out his confused thoughts over the past two days.

To him, Lin Zhiwan is actually more like a family member.

He can help Lin Zhiwan do many things, both materially and spiritually. The only thing he can't do is to give the same response to her feelings.

"what about me?"

Chen Jinzhi suddenly moved closer and looked up at him.

"what?"

Su Chengyi was a little confused.

"At the beginning, Teacher Su approached me because he probably felt sorry for me."

Chen Jinzhi said.

"of course not."

Su Chengyi denied it subconsciously.

"You feel sorry for me, so you want to get involved in my business. You stand up for me in the cafeteria fights, you send me home when I suspect someone is following me, you help me with my academic studies and want me to get into a university far away and get away from my family of origin. Isn't that right?"

Chen Jinzhi's eyes were gentle and calm. Su Chengyi couldn't guess for a moment whether she was joking or what she really thought.

"So, Su Chengyi, what is the difference between love and pity?"

As he was about to turn nineteen, Chen Jinzhi asked this in a confused yet serious tone.

Su Chengyi suddenly realized why Chen Jinzhi was so sure that Lin Zhiwan liked him and not just appreciated him.

Because they were in similar situations.

When he used the word "pitiful" to describe Lin Zhiwan, he was actually reminding Chen Jinzhi how pitiful she was in the past.

(End of this chapter)