A widower's entertainment

Chapter 307 [A Dangerous Work] (Please Subscribe)
Xinghua Hutong, Beijing.

The study in the main house was very quiet. Outside the window was a quiet courtyard. The children had gone to school, and Song Ma had gone out to buy groceries and had not yet returned. The whole courtyard was very quiet.

Lin Youcheng was writing his manuscript with his head down. He wrote very slowly, pausing every now and then to think things through carefully before continuing.

“I was depressed for days. I was careful not to let my parents and siblings notice anything. When I ate, I would talk to them and eat with them, but I would feel like vomiting, so I would run to the toilet. I would go to school and then to the playground. I would spend the afternoon in that secluded place where no one would find me.”

"My body is yearning for her..."

……

Lin Youcheng would write for a while, then stop to rest. He didn't sit for long; he would get up and walk around to stretch his body.

After all, people in middle age still need to take good care of themselves.

Lin Youcheng glanced at the manuscript on his desk. He knew very well how classic the original novel was. It was a bestseller that topped the New York Times charts and won awards such as the Hans Falada Prize and the Le Monde Prize for Literature. However, it was not well-known before it was adapted into a movie. It was only after the movie adaptation was released that it became a hit. The lead actress, Kate Winslet, won an Oscar for her role in the film, and the novel became a global bestseller, selling rapidly around the world in a short period of time.

Lin Youcheng did not believe that this quiet yet profound love story would go unnoticed before it was adapted into a film.

After all, he's not a newcomer to the literary world. He's just considering that the plot of this novel is a bit daring, even a bit dangerous. He doesn't know if the magazine editors will agree to publish it, or how they will view the plot of a fifteen-year-old boy and a thirty-six-year-old woman "studying" together in bed.

It's important to know that a significant portion of this story will focus on the two of them studying in bed, and Lin Youcheng has no intention of modifying or cutting that part.

Lin Youcheng knew very well that the original story repeatedly described the boy's feelings about the scent of women and his fascination with it, all referring to the physical attraction the boy had for women. It could even be said that once you've experienced the ocean, you can't be satisfied with any other water. Even after the boy grew up, got married, and lived with his wife, he still couldn't control himself and kept comparing this period of his life with the life he had with women back then.

Even years later, when the protagonist has forgotten what the woman looked like and the middle-aged woman has become "a faceless woman," the woman's scent remains vivid. In the final part, there is still a rather lengthy description of the woman's scent, which is essentially her body.

Love based on feelings, such as a shared sense of smell, is the most instinctive kind of love.

Perhaps the woman in the story didn't love the boy at first; she used him as a tool to satisfy her desires, a reader for him. But the boy fell deeply in love with the woman. Clearly, this infatuation was called romantic love, not yet reaching the level of being willing to die for each other. However, it was precisely this sinful infatuation that possessed an intensity unimaginable to most people, remaining steadfast throughout his life.

Lin Youcheng had no idea how the magazine editors would view a love letter from a fifteen-year-old boy.

The question flashed through Lin Youcheng's mind, but he was more concerned with adapting the entire story.

In fact, the original story, from an artistic perspective, is very concise in language and simple in form. The book is divided into three chapters, each depicting a different stage of Jiang Xia's life: his acquaintance and relationship with Yang Ju as a child, their reunion during the trial as a young man, and the vicissitudes of life over the next decade. The narrative style is also singular; the entire narrative is told from Jiang Xia's perspective, using flashbacks and proceeding chronologically, thus maintaining a consistent tone throughout.

The writing maintains a calm, serious, composed, and straightforward style, proceeding unhurriedly and eloquently, recalling and narrating simultaneously, feeling and expressing simultaneously, and asking questions and analyzing simultaneously.

Jiangxia's joys and sorrows, doubts and questions are all told rationally and frankly, and at times reveal a deep-seated sense of grief.

Lin Youcheng did not change the narrative style of the story, nor did he intend to use different character perspectives to write it, because he was well aware that this story was neither glamorous nor lighthearted; rather, it possessed a powerful, awe-inspiring quality. From the very beginning, Jiang Xia laid bare his own heart: his burning passion and desire for Yang Ju, his shame and self-reproach for being drawn into the sins of a guilty man because of his love for him, his inner conflict and confusion about whether to understand or condemn his lover's crimes, his guilt and doubt stemming from his betrayal and rejection of Yang Ju, his questioning and reflection on how to face and judge his guilt as a prisoner of war after the Liberation War, and his awareness and questioning of apathy and silence—all of this was expressed and questioned with an honest, open, and sincere attitude.

It can be said that the whole story lays out Jiang Xia's feelings, thoughts, and observations, from the most subtle individual thoughts to the deepest darkness of the human heart, from the simplest pleasures to the most poignant questions, without any embellishment, meticulously and without any reservations, right in front of the reader.

It is precisely because they do not shy away from speaking out for others, nor for themselves, but rather observe earnestly, think seriously, and question deeply, neither treating the matter lightly nor avoiding the important issues, that the seemingly illogical love entanglement between Jiang Xia and Yang Ju remains free from any trace of lewdness or frivolity.

The part that really needs Lin Youcheng to rewrite is the second part of the novel, where the grown-up Jiang Xia sees Yang Ju again after the Liberation War. Because Yang Ju had worked as a female guard in the prison across the street and was assigned to deal with the killing of our party members, she would naturally have to face trial. However, it is clear that the most important plot point will not change: Yang Ju is illiterate.

To avoid revealing her illiteracy, Yang Ju refused to have her handwriting identified during her trial, taking full responsibility for all the charges against her. Illiteracy, as a significant symbol, can also be seen as representing those who, during that wartime period, lived in darkness and ignorance, unable to distinguish right from wrong or protect themselves in the face of adversity; most could only choose to numbly accept their fate. The entire story revolves around the core theme of illiteracy: Jiang Xia reads to Yang Ju because she cannot read.

Even during her trial, when Yang Ju was framed for many unfounded accusations by her former colleagues, she did not argue against them.

Of course, Lin Youcheng was well aware that this story was different from Lu Xun's Ah Q, who, at the end, couldn't read and drew a circle. Lu Xun's Ah Q, a poor peasant deeply exploited and oppressed yet unaware of his fate, exposed the cruel exploitation and oppression of peasants under feudalism, as well as their ignorance. Lin Youcheng's adaptation, however, featured Yang Ju, a city dweller who, despite being illiterate, had always lived in the city. It was precisely for this reason that she was able to eventually become a female prison guard. Because of her ignorance, she simply followed orders.

It is precisely for this reason that, considering these individuals have made mistakes to varying degrees due to their positions of authority, after the liberation war, our army would first conduct centralized education for them, and then release, reform, or retain them based on the severity of their offenses and their wishes to remain in service. For prisoners of war who insisted on aiding and abetting wrongdoing, as well as those who, while not war criminals, had committed atrocities during the civil war, and those who remained obstinate, aside from those directly executed for their grave crimes, they would generally be imprisoned and reformed for a period of time, often for more than ten years.

Clearly, Yang Ju was a civil war criminal who, although not a war criminal, had harmed people.

In Lin Youcheng's view, this is also what makes the story of "The Reader" special. It is a love story that is confused and unclear, and it also includes a war trial outside the battlefield. The illiterate in the war commits the banality of evil, and the result of the evil comes from his own pride. A person who yearns for civilization but is extremely ashamed suffers a lot.

For some, dignity is above all else.

Through the slow, gradual unfolding of fate, Jiang Xia learns of Yang Ju's guilt and her deepest secret: illiteracy. However, much remains unsaid about Yang Ju, such as: Who were her parents? Did she have siblings? Why was she always alone? Had she experienced love before him? Did she truly repent for murdering her comrade?
Even the most fatal question: Did she ever love him?
Jiang Xia tried to understand Yang Ju, but from another perspective, the reason for this blank was that he was simultaneously avoiding understanding. During the trial, his inner thoughts were: "Once she's imprisoned and undergoing reform, she'll completely disappear from my world, from my life. I want her far away, I want her to be unreachable, I want her to become a memory." As a law student, he never denied Yang Ju's guilt, but "falling in love with a criminal makes me inescapably guilty." This "inappropriate love" deeply troubled him. He didn't tell Yang Ju the truth that she was illiterate, using the excuse of respecting her own choice, but there was also an element of having to conceal the truth for his own future.

This is actually a form of human selfishness and escapism.

He avoided Yang Ju, avoided guilt, avoided understanding... and then, on sleepless nights, he read aloud, continuing to act as Yang Ju's reader. However, he never wrote back a letter to Yang Ju, visited her in prison, or even had a chat with her.

Only when he had no other choice did he visit Yang Ju in prison for the first time. By then, Yang Ju's demeanor had changed. During the visit, he smelled the stench of an old woman on her. If the previously fastidious Yang Ju had used soap and perfume to mask her body odor, just as she had concealed her illiteracy, maintaining her dignity, then after years in prison, she had suddenly given up everything. Yang Ju rarely bathed, overate, became obese and bloated, and developed a foul odor. This was a crucial point; if she loved Jiang Xia, she might have cared about her image, including her scent.

She's about to be released from prison; she should know he'll come.

Perhaps it was a lack of love, because even Jiang Xia didn't understand her. Yang Ju chose death, leaving Jiang Xia without a single word, only in her will telling the warden to send his regards.

The strangest thing is that after all this, on his way to carry out Yang Ju's will, Jiang Xia dreamed of Yang Ju again. His feelings for Yang Ju were still so unforgettable that they made him feel heartbroken.

This is also the most important reason why Lin Youcheng chose to write the story of "The Reader". The story is still not just about love, but also about humanity.

Lin Youcheng rested and stretched for a while, then sat back down in his seat and continued writing his manuscript.

"When we open our hearts, we become one. When we immerse ourselves, you are in me and I am in you. When we disappear, you are in my heart and I am in yours. After that, I am me and you are you."

……

"She's serious. Before she lets me shower and into bed, I have to read to her for half an hour. Now I like showering too. My initial desire disappears while reading, because vividly portraying different characters while reading a passage requires concentration. Then, my desire returns during the shower. Reading, showering, bed, and then lying together for a while—this has become the routine of our every date."

"She was an attentive listener; her laughter, her scorn, her anger, or her exclamations of admiration all unmistakably showed that she was intently following the plot..."

……

Clearly, Lin Youcheng still felt a bit of danger about the scene of studying frantically in bed, after all, the age difference between the two was too great, especially since Jiang Xia was only fifteen years old at that time, still a teenager.

At this age, some people might consider it a crime.

For a moment, Lin Youcheng was wondering which magazine to submit the novel to. Would Zhang Wei from People's Literature agree to publish this plot? Or would Ba Jin's Harvest magazine do it? After all, Ba Jin had indeed asked him to write a manuscript. At the last seminar on the novel Atonement, Li Huajun, the deputy editor-in-chief of Harvest, had specifically conveyed Ba Jin's request for a manuscript.

Although the thought crossed his mind, Lin Youcheng still thought that after Zhang Wei read it, if People's Literature was cautious about the plot or the story, Lin Youcheng would choose another literary magazine. After all, many magazines were now asking Lin Youcheng to write articles.

After Lin Youcheng appeared in the four major female opera magazines, he never submitted any more articles to them. This alone made the editors of magazines such as "October" and "Contemporary" very upset, as if once he was published, there was no turning back.

Lin Youcheng didn't think much of it. In any case, everything would have to wait until this dangerous story was finished before discussing the dangerous destination.

(End of this chapter)