I am reborn and refuse to be a sickly rich woman

Chapter 404 Yao Mingyue's Farewell Letter (6k Subscription Request!)

……

Shanghai is not particularly cold this year. There is a gentle breeze on the Bund River and the fireworks in the sky are bright, just like an old-fashioned exposure camera.

Every time a firework exploded and flashed, it was reflected on their cheeks. In the flickering light, Yao Mingyue's expression changed from unwilling, desperate, surprised, unbelievable, and blurred with tears...

It's like old photos printed on film.

Xu Musen looked at her silently, looking at the girl in front of him who had been arrogant and willful all her life.

She used to be arrogant and unreasonable, and there was always an aggressive light in her eyes.

At this moment, his face is pale, his body is thin, his eyes are evasive, and the corners of his eyes are red. He no longer has the charm he once had.

drop.

I’m afraid Yao Mingyue almost doesn’t recognize herself at this moment.

The two people looked at each other silently for a long time.

In her previous life, Yao Mingyue was a noble woman with an aggressive hunting spirit. She kept the impoverished Xu Musen by her side and made him her gigolo.

Now Xu Musen is wearing a neat suit and has a sunny and noble temperament. He just stands there quietly, giving people a sense of distance that is different from ordinary people.

Looking at herself...

He was thin and frail, his face was pale and haggard, and his eyes were filled with cowardice and sadness, without any trace of the light he once had.

At this moment, she seemed like a Cinderella. In front of the prince she loved, she no longer dared to express her love boldly, but turned around and ran away...

"You really don't want to tell me anything?"

Xu Musen took a step closer to her with a smile on his face, as if he was greeting her on an ordinary morning as usual.

Yao Mingyue regained her consciousness after a long time. Looking at his warm smile, she avoided his red eyes and subconsciously took a half step back: "You, you shouldn't come here now..."

"You are a distinguished guest, so of course I have to go out to receive you. I have been waiting for you for a long time."

Xu Musen took another step forward and extended his hand to Yao Mingyue.

Facing his outstretched hand, Yao Mingyue took two steps back. She looked at the hall behind Xu Musen, which was still brightly lit and she could hear the festive sounds of people drinking and chatting.

They seemed out of place on this dim beach at this moment.

She forced herself to smile.

"No, I won't ruin the atmosphere of your and Nuannuan's wonderful day..."

"How could that be? It's more lively when there are more people."

Xu Musen smiled and took another step forward.

"Xu Musen, are you really stupid or are you just pretending to be stupid? What girl would want her love rival to go to an engagement party?"

Yao Mingyue gritted her teeth and coughed again in excitement.

Xu Musen paused and thought seriously for a moment, then nodded: "That's right..."

As he spoke, Xu Musen suddenly smiled and took a step closer: "But we haven't divorced yet, have we? At this time, it should be you, the ex-wife, who should come to give us some advice and experience, right?"

Yao Mingyue pursed her lips tightly, looking at his shameless appearance. She felt sour and angry at the moment: "Scumbag!"

She cursed and took three steps back, still keeping a distance from him. She knew that Xu Musen was deliberately provoking her, but reason told her that if she really followed him at this moment.

Then all the determination she had made these days would be in vain.

It might also affect his and An Nuannuan's future. She doesn't want to bear this sin anymore in her life.

She gritted her teeth and kept her distance from the person who was so close to her. "Xu Musen... today is the most important day for both of you. I am also a girl, and I know how important this day is to girls. Please don't cause any more trouble because of me..."

She spoke resolutely, but her eyes were already filled with tears, and every word she spoke carried a hint of farewell.

"So, you kept it a secret from me just to leave without saying goodbye today?"

Xu Musen did not move forward, and his gentle eyes now had a little more depth.

Yao Mingyue covered her heavy chest with her hands. This decision was her last bit of courage. Thinking of the ending of her previous life, she felt a sour and stinging pain in her heart.

"Now that you know everything, you should understand that this is the best outcome... You have the life you like, the person you like, and you don't have to worry about being harassed by an unreasonable person like me, and you don't have to ruin your life because of me..."

Yao Mingyue bit her lips tightly, and the corners of her bloodless lips were noticeably red, which made people feel particularly distressed.

Xu Musen looked at her and suddenly laughed: "Since you knew this day would come, and since you knew it would change my life, you shouldn't have appeared in front of me from the beginning!"

Xu Musen's tone suddenly changed from the warm summer sun to the biting cold wind. He stared at Yao Mingyue closely. He took a step forward, speaking one sentence at a time: "If you really don't want to disturb me, then you shouldn't have appeared in my world in this life when I was choosing a new life again, you shouldn't have applied to the same school as me, you shouldn't have forced yourself into my life by relying on your childhood sweetheart status, you shouldn't have come out to help me when I was in crisis, and you shouldn't have jumped into the lake to save me when I fell into it regardless of your life!

In fact, you shouldn't have come over to give me a chance to look at you since you had already made the decision to leave quietly! "

At this moment, the girl's face, which was already pale, turned even paler, and her eyes were filled with tears. Facing Xu Musen who was almost in front of her, she staggered back subconsciously: "Yes, I'm sorry..."

But as she retreated, she bumped into the riverside fence behind her. She had no way to retreat. Facing his gaze, Yao Mingyue didn't dare to meet his gaze. She turned her head away, not wanting him to see her tears.

Yes, she was the one who caused all of this. If she had not continued to get entangled in this life, perhaps her name would have disappeared from Xu Musen's world long ago.

His relationship with An Nuannuan would definitely be better, even if she was gone...

Maybe by that time, the three words Yao Mingyue would only exist in his memory, and he would sigh a few times about the impermanence of life, and he would not be in such pain now.

In the final analysis, these are all her own faults. She is selfish and willful, but in the end, she is also timid and has low self-esteem...

Xu Musen came in front of her and looked at the pale and fragile girl with tears in her eyes. His tone was still as sharp as a knife. He stretched out his hand, held her chin and made her look at him. The tears on the girl's cheeks spread across his fingertips.

Xu Musen lowered his head slightly and looked into her eyes.

"You said you would always need me, and you did everything you could to make sure that you were the only one in my life. Until now, you have taken over most of my life. Now you just left without even giving me a chance to discuss it. What do you think of me? What do you think of my care for you? What do you think of my heart?"

Yao Mingyue's body was shaking. Facing Xu Musen's increasingly close face and eyes, she couldn't utter a word. Tears just kept falling.

She really wanted to explain that she had never thought of leaving him, and she had a lot to say to him, but now, she could only murmur: "I'm sorry..."

"What I want to hear is not an apology, but why did you leave without telling me? Why did you hide it from me and make these decisions alone?"

Xu Musen was staring at her, and Yao Mingyue couldn't avoid his gaze.

Yao Mingyue bit her lips tightly and trembled a little: "I don't want to hide it from you... But I know what I have to face. You finally have your own life. I can't use your future to satisfy my own selfish desires. I'm sorry... I was so selfish and unreasonable at that time..."

This is a future that even Yao Mingyue herself cannot foresee. If she can come back alive, perhaps all her wanderings will have a result.

But what if she doesn't come back?
Then Xu Musen would have to bear the consequences of all this for her.

Because she loves him, she has to keep it secret from him...

She raised her eyes, feeling the warmth of Xu Musen's palm, but she didn't dare show too much reluctance on her tear-stained cheeks. She bit her lip, and a bit of determination flashed in her eyes.

"Didn't you say that? We all have our own lives. I also want to find my own life now. Anyway... you already have someone you love and your own life. Even if you don't have an annoying person like me anymore, it doesn't matter, right?"

Yao Mingyue raised her head, and a smile that seemed to show a completely open-minded and indifferent expression appeared in the corners of her tearful eyes: "Anyway, the world will go on just the same without anyone. Without a scumbag like you, maybe I can live a better life."

Xu Musen stared into her eyes, but he suddenly smiled: "This hard-mouthed look is the real you."

Yao Mingyue's eyes flickered and she wanted to say something, but Xu Musen had already taken out a letter from his arms.

This was left behind by Yao Mingyue before she quietly left.

Xu Musen held the letter and looked at the dazed girl in front of him: "I haven't had time to read this letter yet, but I think I can read it with you."

After that, Xu Musen spoke softly without waiting for her to refuse.

The beginning of the envelope.

"Xu Musen, when you see this letter, your engagement party has probably ended, and I have already left.

Forgive me for leaving without saying goodbye. Of course, it doesn’t matter if you don’t forgive me. You can’t do anything to me anyway. Who made me so arrogant and unreasonable? (Tsundere smile.)
I don't have to hide it from you, it's just that there is a little... small problem with my body. If it is not handled properly, maybe... I won't be able to continue to be the vicious female supporting role who destroys your relationship with Nuannuan.

Seeing this, are you, a scumbag, relieved? (grinding teeth)》

Seeing this, Xu Musen silently looked at her last hand-drawn expression of gritting teeth, and then looked at the pale-faced girl.

What a little question.

It seems like just a relaxing little game that can be resurrected at any time.

But only the person who wrote the letter can understand how difficult it is to write these words.

《Forget it, today is your big day, let’s not talk about this. In fact, I have been watching you silently these days, watching you decorate the venue, watching your lively wedding reception, watching your lively engagement scene, and watching you in a suit holding An Nuannuan in a white wedding dress getting into the wedding car.

You are very handsome today, even more handsome than at our wedding. It’s not because of your clothes, but because of your smile, the smile of truly marrying the person you love.

I see that you are receiving blessings from everyone, and are recognized and surrounded by everyone, which is... what we once regretted not having.

It's ridiculous. Our relationship has obviously taken a step further, but I didn't make you smile so happily.

Is this considered... a dereliction of duty on my part as an ex-wife? 》

The playful words made Xu Musen silent. A tear blurred the words. Yao Mingyue bit her lips tightly. "I'm sorry I didn't make it. I've thought about this decision for a long time. Don't blame my mother. I told her not to tell anyone."

Nuannuan is a good girl. Although I am reluctant to admit it, but... she is really more suitable than me to be the one who can accompany you throughout your life.

Actually, I was quite unconvinced at first. When I first knew that the girl next to you had just a few more pounds of flesh on her chest than me, what was the big deal? We were childhood sweethearts. Our parents had agreed to be engaged to us before we were born.

But later on, I gradually discovered that others had more than just this aspect than I did.

She is gentler than me, more caring than me, and can make you feel free, happy, and proud of your dignity as a man better than me.

People always say she is silly and naive, but she taught me a truth: sincerity is the killer skill. She doesn't have the title of childhood sweetheart, the friendship between our parents, or the bond from childhood to adulthood. From any perspective, she should not be my opponent.

But she has only one thing, and that is her determination to like you as well.

Nuannuan and I talked a lot, and I learned a lot of things. What I am experiencing now is like walking the same path she walked again.

On this road, I finally know how to truly love you, but at the end of this road, the person I love most has already crossed the finish line holding someone else’s hand…

I don't blame anyone. If I have to blame someone, it's only myself. I had a strong hand, but I lost to a hand of scattered cards. This is what Nuannuan deserves, and it's also what I deserve..."

At the back of the letter, the handwriting became smaller and smaller, and the writing became more and more dense, as if she was afraid that this letter could never contain all she wanted to say, so Xu Musen read it word by word.

《However, I still can't accept it. Even though An Nuannuan is a thousand times better than me, when it comes to liking you, I will always be the best in the world.

Xu Musen.

Do you know, these three words are the first name I remember in my life.

From the moment we were born to the time we learned to speak, from childhood to the beginning of youth, from a short separation to the companionship of marriage...we have long become another person.

We have argued, quarreled, blushed, got angry, experienced sadness and joy, and we have been together. But I have never thought of leaving you.

Do you know why childhood sweethearts often don’t end up together?

Because of the long-term companionship, I have long been confused whether it is friendship or love, and I have long been unable to tell whether it is liking or habit.

You also asked me whether I really liked you, or whether it was just a habit, because I could rely on you, or... I just regarded you as my own.

I want to tell you that what you said is actually correct.

Of course I am dependent on you, you are my support, and you are an inseparable part of my life, but this does not mean that I don't like you.

These are all parts of why I like you.

I remember you said I was sick. Yes, I am sick. I have hurt you and wronged you, but the only thing is... I have never thought of not loving you.

But I know that my time is destined not to accompany you for a lifetime, so I love you obsessively, madly, and unscrupulously... and I love you so much.

I should know how to be content. At least, we were together every moment in the first half of our lives. Even An Nuannuan, no matter how powerful she is, couldn't take us away!

but…

Why is it that two people who have been together since birth can never grow old together...?

At this point in the letter, the last line of words seemed to have been soaked in water, and the ink was blurred on the paper, like a group of pitiful little people huddled together, blown away by the cold wind.

The following content was crossed out and smeared, as if to cover up the fragility that one did not want others to see.

The second page of the letter.

I should have taken some time off and calmed down before writing again.

"I didn't tell you and chose to leave on the day of your engagement because I know you too well. If I told you, you would definitely drop everything to be with me.

As your childhood sweetheart, as your ex-wife, and as the person you have loved for both of your lives, I am very confident.

But such a victory is not my temper.

I have taken advantage of our childhood sweetheart status to dominate your entire youth. No matter how powerful An Nuannuan is or how big her breasts are, she can't beat me in this regard!

In this life, even if it is the case, let her take the first turn.

Remember, it’s not An Nuan Nuan who won, but I, the old lady, don’t want to play this time! 》

When she wrote this, it seemed as if she had really become open-minded, as if the arrogant and proud girl she once was had returned.

Just the last sentence on the envelope.

《In short... I still hope that you can be well and keep her warm... She is a good girl. If I really can't come back in the future...

Remember to come and see me and give me more money. Even if I go to heaven, I will still be a rich woman.

Also, if you have kids in the future... bring them to me. As long as they don't look like you, they won't be that ugly...

besides……"

The end of the letter was a mess with all the scribbles and corrections, just like her broken heart at that moment. She had no idea how much clarity of thought she still had.

A lot of words seemed to be swallowed back.

《Apologize to Uncle Xu and Aunt Jie for me. I kept it a secret from them. Please tell them that if there is still a chance, I really want to continue to be their daughter.

last of the last…

Brother Musen, Mingyue likes you.

forever.

——February 3, Yao Mingyue. 》

It seemed that the more wet dots of writing were, the more they looked like drops of uncontrollable tears, staining the ink like black plum blossoms.

Both of them were silent for a long time. Outside, the fireworks were bright and shining. The tear marks on the envelope seemed like drops of blood.

Yao Mingyue covered her chest with her hands. She could hardly utter anything at this moment.

After finishing the letter, the two returned to the previous topic.

"I'll tell you why."

Xu Musen spoke for her: "You didn't tell me about this because you were worried that I would be forced to make a choice for you again because of this, and then I would end up in the same situation as in my previous life.

You chose to leave quietly on the day when Nuannuan and I got engaged because you were afraid that I would have a psychological burden, and you were also afraid that if I really tried to stop you, you would no longer have the courage to make such a decision alone.

You think that you know me well enough, like me enough, and the decisions you make are always for my good, right?"

Xu Musen's tone was gentle, but every word he spoke revealed the disguise in the girl's heart.

"I..." Yao Mingyue looked up, but the words were stuck in her throat and she could only swallow them.

"But, Yao Mingyue, you look down on others a little too much."

Xu Musen smiled. He reached out his hand and wiped the tears from Yao Mingyue's eyes. "Do you really understand me completely? If liking someone reaches a stubborn and pathological level, I think my illness is more serious than yours."

Xu Musen's smile was familiar to Yao Mingyue. That kind of paranoia, madness, and recklessness...

She was a little absent-minded, and even wondered if she really hadn't seen through anything.

Xu Musen cupped her cheek.

"If I tell you that all the excessive things you did to me were done willingly by me, or in other words, I did it intentionally, would you believe it?"

Yao Mingyue's body trembled, and her bloodshot black pupils seemed a little too clear at this moment.

Looking at Xu Musen's smile at this moment.

The best way to make someone dependent on you is to turn him/her into a yandere...

Before Yao Mingyue could react, Xu Musen hugged her tightly in his arms, as if he wanted to embed himself into her flesh and blood, as if they wanted to share the same heartbeat.

"I have waited so long for this opportunity in this life, I will not leave you alone again.

Rather than reading your farewell letter filled with blessings, I would rather see the real you.

Mingyue, I love you. "

Xu Musen hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear. The last three words seemed to break the girl's last disguise.

Yao Mingyue bit her lip and slowly stretched out her hand. She knew that if she softened her heart at this moment, all her plans would fail. She had warned herself countless times not to be so selfish and not to make the same mistake again.

but……

Xu Musen's chest was wet with tears. The girl's tears mixed with the night river breeze. Her crying was drowned out by the sound of firecrackers in the sky. In the end, she snuggled tightly into Xu Musen's arms and burst into tears.

The blessing, open-mindedness and relief in that letter...

At this moment, she was overwhelmed by the crying. She still couldn't do it, she still couldn't forget, she still couldn't let him go completely.

In these dazzling fireworks, the figures of the two people flickered, but the moment they were closely dependent on each other was like the fireworks in the sky, with the hope of tearing through the darkness.

Here it comes. I have written this chapter over and over again many times. Perhaps the pretentious content is necessary. The biggest foreshadowing is in the following content. The operation and subsequent content will not be dragged out. Thank you for your support!

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(End of this chapter)