The Best Actor in the Vase of Meiyu

Chapter 1830 Tossing and turning
Anne Hathaway realized that she had to break through, take risks, and challenge herself. She couldn't stay trapped in the shackles of being a princess forever, or her acting career might wither away before she could find any other possibilities.

However, when Anne actually took that first step, she realized that invisible barriers had already formed, and she was trapped in stereotypes.

Auditions were a series of setbacks and failures.

Her attempts, her adventures, her efforts all seemed trapped in a small box, rushing around but never able to break through.

She knew that being rejected, attacked, and ignored was the norm in Hollywood; but even knowing this, she would still get hurt every time she hit a wall.

Like a blade, even knowing that holding it with bare hands might cause injury, the pain doesn't disappear once you actually hold it and get hurt.

Behind each rejection, she felt like she was stuck in the same place, unable to find a way out.

Dull, tired, sad, depressed.

Annie was a little tired.

Actually, when Annie dialed Anson's number, she didn't intend to complain, because she knew that Anson was facing challenges in joining the film crew and that he was also going through a lot of trouble lately. She just wanted to hear Anson's voice, chat about some trivial things, and keep each other company. That was enough.

However... he was eventually found out.

Anne was a little vulnerable, curled up on the sofa, when Anson's gentle voice came from the phone, "Annie, I'm here."

My chaotic thoughts raced through my mind, only to find myself utterly exhausted, as if the laughter I had just shared had drained all my energy.

Anne thought for a moment, "Do you know what the saddest thing is?"

"I don't understand myself either."

Anne gave a wry smile, a self-deprecating twitch at the corners of her mouth, and let out a long sigh.

"Do you think this is possible?"

"I don't know what I want. I don't know what roles or works I want to play, I don't know what kind of actor I want to become, and I don't know what the future of acting looks like to me."

"Sometimes, I feel like my mind is completely blank, and maybe I really don't know anything."

“Anson…”

"I think I'm a terrible actor. Maybe all those attacks were justified."

When confidence is at its lowest point, people always start by doubting themselves and losing confidence.

Some people begin to fall into a cycle of self-doubt, torturing themselves; others, on the other hand, shift all responsibility and blame onto bystanders, comfortably complaining about everything and everyone.

Whether it's Anson or Anne, they both belong to the former category.

Judging from her past life's trajectory, Anne did indeed experience some distress and struggles until a series of works such as "Brokeback Mountain," "Rachel's Wedding," and "The Devil Wears Prada" helped her find her direction, find a balance between commerce and art, and shine brightly.

However, from an outsider's perspective, everything seems to go smoothly and naturally, as if it were all a matter of course; only those who are actually in the thick of it know how arduous the process is.

Every choice is an adventure, every choice is unknown, and the answer can only be known after the work is released. Actors must be in a state of waiting, exploration, doubt, and worry at all times, suffering greatly, and always hesitating until they see the dawn and the way out.

No one is an exception.

Anne is only twenty-two years old this year. She has been in Hollywood for less than three years, still naive, still young, and still full of confusion.

Therefore, this situation is perfectly normal. Anson's lips curled up slightly. "Actually, understanding oneself is the most difficult thing in the world."

"We think we can let go, be open-minded, and face everything with ease, but when things actually happen, we find that we still can't control our panic and fear."

"There are often many discrepancies between the self we think we are, the real self, and the self we are in the eyes of others. We are caught up in this and are often confused. We are the last ones to understand ourselves."

"Some people spend their entire lives without understanding themselves, or even refuse to face their true selves; others think they know themselves, but are unaware that their understanding is wrong, and thus spend their lives fighting against themselves. You should know that this is how those German and Greek philosophers tormented themselves, right?"

Annie gave a slight twitch at the corner of her mouth.

Anson let out a sigh of relief and relaxed as well. "I was just talking about this with Scarlett. We were both unsure if we could handle the role, and how we should get into it..."

Anne was slightly taken aback. It turned out that Anson and Scarlett had already shared such a private topic. Scarlett was actually willing to share such a topic with Anson.
For some reason, my tongue felt a little sour and astringent.

I tossed and turned, feeling extremely agitated, as if my internal organs were on fire.

But Anne managed to control herself and swallowed the bitterness. "I thought you cast Scarlett because you thought she was the most suitable."

Anson, "That's what I told her too. But obviously, when we step out of our comfort zone to take on new challenges, our instincts always kick in with objections."

“Standing in front of the camera, studying the character and the script, at some point self-doubt pops up and tells you that your performance is rubbish.”

"I just experienced this situation today, and I'm not sure if it will happen again tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, or the day after that."

"We don't know the answer, and we're uncertain about the future. The chances of success and failure are fifty-fifty, but at least we're trying our best. Isn't that the most important thing?"

“I am taking a risk, and I could fail at any time. The noise and excitement in front of me can disappear in the blink of an eye. Falling from the peak to the bottom can happen overnight. Success comes too fast and too fiercely, and it will disappear without any warning.”

"Maybe I'm just another Macaulay Culkin?"

Anne's lips twitched slightly. "Is it really okay for you to criticize Macaulay Culkin like that?"

"Shh." Anson responded casually, "So, why don't you join me on this adventure? This kind of thrill needs to be shared."

Anne finally couldn't help but chuckle.

Anson: "Besides, aren't there other audition results that haven't come out yet? I remember Ang Lee's film."

No amount of comfort, guidance, or inspirational platitudes can truly solve the problem. Only by experiencing, taking risks, and truly engaging with the world, can the answer emerge when the future becomes the present.

Anne let out a long sigh of relief. "Yes, it's been three auditions. We've moved on to the camera audition stage, but the results are still pending."

Anson: "So, keep trying, keep taking risks. If you treat auditions as a risk, things won't be so bad, and then wait for the surprise."

"Who knows? Ang Lee's film might be the second 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,' or it might be the second 'Hulk,' a complete flop."

Annie looked up at the sky speechlessly. Even though Anson was clearly complaining, why couldn't she help but smile? "Anson!"

Anson: "Sorry, I was just trying to clear my head, and also to figure myself out."

Anne: ... "Anson Wood!"

(End of this chapter)