Classmate Li Zhuangsheng doesn’t want to be reborn

"Hoo..." Li Zhuangsheng slowly took a deep breath, seemingly trying to suppress his anger, and forced out a smile that was more like a grimace. "What's wrong with you today?"

"Never mind all that. Now all I want is your answer: your wife wants to live a good life with you, are you up to it or not!"

"Don't do this..." Li Zhuangsheng clenched his fists, his anger burning brighter and brighter, to the point that he could hardly contain it.

"I'm asking you, is it okay or not? Is there anything about your wife that makes her unworthy of you?"

"No, she's fine..."

Xie Jiangqing growled, "Then what are you still thinking about!"

Li Zhuangsheng reached up and gripped his head tightly, his voice trembling even more: "Because I don't want to..."

"why?"

"Why...why would I think that!" Li Zhuangsheng shouted, unable to bear it any longer. "Because I have dignity, is that not allowed?"

Xie Jiangqing and Hu Mengdie were both taken aback.

"Actually, you knew about our relationship the night you lost your memory, right?" Li Zhuangsheng stared at Hu Mengdie, roaring before calmly suppressing his anger. "My phone was dead then, but yours was still there. You didn't call me then because you were afraid I'd see your phone's wallpaper, right? You were afraid I'd find out about our relationship too, you were afraid I'd cling to you, right?"

Hu Mengdie's heartbeat seemed to slow down a beat.

Xie Jiangqing looked at Hu Mengdie in surprise.

“When we were in Nanjing, you would never eat the same dishes I ate again, right? So later I only picked the dishes in front of me, or simply stopped choosing large platters of food… Actually, before we came back, I really wanted to see the plum blossoms, but you didn’t want to. Do you not like plum blossoms? That can’t be right, you just don’t like me.”

A look of confusion and fear appeared in Hu Mengdie's eyes, and Xie Jiangqing also scratched her head blankly.

"No, no..." Hu Mengdie's lips parted, but her voice was so soft that it lacked any confidence.

"After I came back, the first time I went to your house for dinner, do you remember what you said? You said you'd rather die than be with me, that you had someone you liked, and that person was Qi Haoyu, right? So you hated me so much, and that's why you tore up all those old photos in the room and threw them on the floor. Oh, right, you also deleted that post on QQ Space, right?"

Xie Jiangqing's eyes widened in surprise, while Hu Mengdie had already lowered her head, her body trembling uncontrollably, and tears were falling in a steady stream.
"No, I just... Don't say it, please don't say it, sob sob sob..."

How could he know all of this? How could he remember it all? A profound emptiness and fear washed over me. Had he memorized all of this from the very beginning?

Did he see through me all along? Then how does he see me?
Li Zhuangsheng smiled, pursing his lips: "Okay, then I won't say it. But you don't like me, so why are you saying you like me now?"

"I'm sorry..." Hu Mengdie collapsed to the ground, covering her face and sobbing with shame. "I'm sorry, but you... you said you forgave me, you didn't blame me... Please, I apologize to you... Let's start over..."

“I really don’t blame you,” Li Zhuangsheng said earnestly. “Because you don’t like me, all of this is understandable. Whether it’s making me walk home alone in the snowy night, or treating me like a thief in Nanjing, or making me sleep on a chair… I really don’t blame you for any of this. Because you don’t like me, I completely understand.”

Hu Mengdie raised her teary eyes, her confusion and doubt deepening: "Don't you understand me? Why are you so angry?"
“But you clearly don’t like me, you despise me so much… Actually, I really, really understand, because I’m just an ordinary person, I’m just a loser, I don’t have any merits, and I’m not handsome… So if you clearly don’t like me, why are you saying you like me now?” Li Zhuangsheng tilted his head, his eyes revealing a chilling shame and hatred. “Isn’t this ridiculous? Isn’t this ridiculous? On what grounds? On what grounds do you say you like me?” Of course, Li Zhuangsheng could not forget the loneliness of walking alone in the snowy night, he could not forget the ever-vigilant look in her eyes when they were in Nanjing, and he could not forget the humiliation that Hu Mengdie brought him in public at the Hu family’s dinner table.

That undisguised disgust was like being swarmed by some annoying fly.

He felt ashamed and resentful about this, and the source of his shame and resentment was not Hu Mengdie, but his original self!

Knowing that Hu Mengdie was his wife, and having been tempted by her.

He imagines himself as the male protagonist of an anime, fantasizing about a sweet future.

The feeling of seeing a video of one's wife making vows of eternal love with another, and being deliberately comforted by friends.

He knew perfectly well that the woman disliked him and that she had made a lifelong promise with another man, but in Nanjing he couldn't help but try to please her, still unable to let go and still clinging to a sliver of hope.

How regretful he was! Why did he make such a fool of himself!

How despicable! How could a person be so despicable! Why did I have to be that bastard?!
So he deserved to be publicly humiliated at the Hu family's banquet, to have his tortoise shell crushed, and to be kicked away like a dead dog!

Li Zhuangsheng didn't blame anyone; he only hated himself.

Hu Mengdie stared at Li Zhuangsheng's twisted, awkward smile and shuddered for no reason. She was still confused, but she seemed to understand something. Her face turned ashen, and her heart turned ashen.

It was as if she had been stripped naked and paraded through the streets in public, her filth and wretchedness being exposed.

"You say you like me, but what do you like about me? What do you like about me? Is it because of my government job? Because of my family's financial situation? Because I'm a useful tool!"

Li Zhuangsheng became increasingly agitated as he spoke, his questioning gradually turning into a roar:

"Let me tell you why you said you liked me! Because you were running away, because that scumbag Qi Haoyu hurt you, and you wanted to prove that you can be loved too, so you came back to me! In your eyes, I don't even have a complete personality! Saying you like me, starting over? You love me? Ha! This isn't love, you're just using me as a glue to mend your broken life... Damn it, am I supposed to be your glue?! You're fucking insane!"

That's enough, really enough! We've always kept to ourselves! Why are you spouting nonsense about liking me again?!

You're saying you like me now?
What about everything before that?
Cancel it all?!
Hu Mengdie finally burst into tears. She struggled, covered her face, and scrambled out of the study.

Li Zhuangsheng, still furious, was left behind, as was Xie Jiangqing, who looked like a plucked chicken, completely bewildered.

"Um, um... I'm sorry..."

Xie Jiangqing stammered and shrank back. All her previous excitement had vanished, replaced by unease and bitterness at the realization that she had caused a terrible disaster. (End of Chapter)