Classmate Li Zhuangsheng doesn’t want to be reborn

Li Zhuangsheng was unaware of Zhu Zhixue's thoughts. At this moment, all he wanted to do was hold Zhu Zhixue's hand and say affectionately, "I regret not listening to you. That woman was indeed not a good person!"

The two returned to the classroom somewhat awkwardly, their silence ambiguous. Li Zhuangsheng couldn't help but recall Zhu Zhixue's body; this was the first time he had seen a girl nearly naked in real life, especially such a beautiful woman as Zhu Zhixue.

He had read this passage in Qian Zhongshu's novel *Man, Beast, Ghost* when he was a child: "A boy of eighteen or nineteen without a girlfriend often harbors as many women in his heart as an emperor's thirty-six palaces; the filth in his heart sometimes surpasses that of a public toilet." At the same time, he held lofty ideals about love. He hoped to find a woman with whom he could have a spiritual connection, a close yet pure relationship, keeping his physical urges far away, veiled in layers of embellishment, never allowing them to reveal their true nature.

He didn't understand it then, but now he inexplicably remembered those words. He felt a pang of shame, ashamed of his wandering thoughts, ashamed of his physical reactions, and ashamed of his hypocrisy.

“Um…” Li Zhuangsheng hesitated before speaking on the way.

"What?" Zhu Zhixue replied awkwardly.

"I think you shouldn't be so impulsive in the future." Li Zhuangsheng looked away.

Zhu Zhixue didn't speak, but just glanced at him sideways.

"I think you were too impulsive just now... You're a girl, you shouldn't take your clothes off for guys so easily... I know you didn't mean anything by it, but I think girls should be more reserved, this isn't good..."

How could you slander me out of thin air? You pig-brain! Would I strip down to show others?
"Oh, so after you've seen it, you don't want anyone else to see it, right?" Zhu Zhixue bit her lip and snorted softly.

"Hey, I didn't mean that..."

"I didn't mean that, so why are you so concerned?"

"From a friend's perspective, I just think girls should take better care of themselves!"

"Then why didn't you say so earlier?"

Huh? Li Zhuangsheng was stunned, thinking to himself, how could Zhu Zhixue be so unreasonable? Was it something I wanted to see just now? Although I did want to see it, wasn't it you who coerced, bribed, and begged me!
"Hmph!" Zhu Zhixue snorted again, her resentment deepening, but after a long silence, she reluctantly spoke, "Who do you think I am? Would I let just anyone see me?"

"Oh, right, right, I'm sorry..."

Sensing the resentment and anger in Zhu Zhixue's words, Li Zhuangsheng apologized meekly.

How annoying! Zhu Zhixue thought to herself, how could someone think I'm that kind of person? I'm only showing this to you!

She couldn't understand why this blockhead still couldn't see her feelings! Everyone else had clearly noticed! Was he pretending not to understand? But how could he be so cunning!
Zhu Zhixue had originally hoped that Li Zhuangsheng would realize her feelings soon, but now, she felt uneasy. She was afraid that Li Zhuangsheng would realize it and then reject her because of Hu Mengdie.

I don't want that kind of thing!
But, but... maybe not, he might not choose Hu Mengdie, right? Zhu Zhixue looked down at her chest, comforting herself: "Although he said no, his eyes were honestly stealing glances."

She used to be very bothered by her breast size, especially after successfully losing weight. Her stubbornly large breasts became the subject of ridicule. Some people meant well, but the teasing and stares from most made her very uncomfortable. She also knew that many people gave her unpleasant nicknames behind her back.

Zhu Zhixue knew that most people didn't really mean it; they were just teasing her unconsciously and didn't care what the person in question thought. Zhu Zhixue could only pretend not to hear it, because she was used to greeting people with a smile and didn't want to argue over such a small matter.

But Li Zhuangsheng remained the same as before.

At the beginning of the class reshuffle, she thought Li Zhuangsheng had changed. The Li Zhuangsheng she remembered was more cheerful and outgoing, but the high school Li Zhuangsheng was somewhat taciturn. But one day, when she returned to the classroom from outside, she heard a group of girls discussing her chest, making slightly malicious taunts.

She frowned, intending to ignore it as usual, but then she heard that familiar voice again: "I think it's not good to joke about someone's physical characteristics." Zhu Zhixue was stunned for a moment, then laughed. Sure enough, Li Zhuangsheng was still the same gentle and kind Li Zhuangsheng.

She remembered that in the first year of junior high school, the homeroom teacher asked the students on duty to write a poem on the blackboard every day... Although there was this in high school as well, in No. 1 High School, we only had to share one line, but Xingpeng had to write a whole poem.

She remembered one noon, the day after her first period, Li Zhuangsheng wrote on the blackboard, "If we wait until the flowers in Shanglin Garden are in full bloom, everyone who goes out will be there to admire them."

Although it wasn't explicitly stated, Zhu Zhixue understood that it must have been written for her. "If you blossom, butterflies will come." Li Zhuangsheng was encouraging her, just as he had said before about breaking free from the cocoon and becoming a butterfly.

Perhaps she has blossomed now, and she understands that she is very popular with the opposite sex. But they are all different; only Li Zhuangsheng was ever gentle with Wang Shuangmei. And only he was the only light in her darkest period, the only light in her life.

With their own thoughts, the two returned to the classroom to find that evening reading had already begun.

They both slipped into the classroom as if they had done something wrong. The Chinese teacher happened to be patrolling the classroom and frowned when she saw the two of them being late for evening reading, but she didn't say much.

Li Zhuangsheng was quite sensible; upon returning to his seat, he took out his Chinese textbook and began to read the text aloud in front of the teacher.

……

"What's in here?" Chen Lanying asked in surprise, looking at the shoebox that Li Zhuangsheng had brought back.

"It's nothing, Mom, you should go to sleep!" Li Zhuangsheng waved his hand vaguely.

"I've stewed an old hen for you, with some Ganoderma lucidum added. You must drink some of the soup!"

"I know, I know!"

Li Zhuangsheng took the shoes back to his room and kicked them under the bed. When he returned to the dining room, Li Xiuyu had already served him chicken soup.

"Lend me three hundred yuan," Li Zhuangsheng said.

"Okay." Li Xiuyu agreed readily this time.

She knew what Li Zhuangsheng wanted the money for, so she didn't hesitate at all, and didn't even add any conditions.

"Is it okay if I don't pay it back?" Li Zhuangsheng asked again.

Li Xiuyu lifted her little foot: "Then how about you lick my toes?"

Li Zhuangsheng clicked his tongue in astonishment: "So stingy..."

The two ate some old hen and drank a small bowl of soup. Li Zhuangsheng got three hundred yuan from Li Xiuyu as he wished.

He wouldn't return the shoes, but he also wouldn't wear them again. However, Hu Mengdie had paid for them, and he didn't want to owe her anything. (End of Chapter)