Alice in the Land of Steam

Chapter 1154 What kind of life do you want to live?

Linger was rarely questioned directly like this. In the past, he was always the one questioning others because he was a pastor and had a power that seemed to be innate to see through people's hearts. He could always keenly perceive people's fear or confusion. He never thought he could do anything, but occasionally, out of instinct, he would reveal the deeply buried secrets of the parties involved and force them to face them. Was this a religious sermon? Or was it a mysterious guidance? He didn't think so, but just did it subconsciously.

But he gradually lost that ability, and as the young man stopped serving as the resident pastor of Tianxin Church, he also lost that position, which might be why his companions felt that he was beginning to become weak. At this moment, facing Saint Shalia's gaze, that attitude of "I will never look away unless you tell me the truth", the young man was a little overwhelmed.

He opened his mouth: "I..."

"Tell the truth, Lingge." Saint Xia Liya interrupted him, narrowed her eyes slightly, and said firmly: "You can't deceive me."

Who can say that they completely understand another person, know his words and thoughts so well that any lie cannot be hidden in front of this person? But Saint Xia Liya has the confidence to say such words, because she knows that her understanding of Lingge is not based on common sense, but from some mysterious intuition, just like when she puts her hand on the young man's chest, she does not feel his heartbeat through the temperature transmitted through the cloth, but through the veins running through the palm of her hand, which is as unpredictable as fate.

People follow the rules, but these rules are not as strict as those in nature. Therefore, sometimes the impressions people have established over the years are also considered a rule, which cannot be separated from the established track. Young people are loyal supporters of this rule and unwavering executors on this track. They always meticulously plan the image they present to others, just like building a fortress on the high ground of thought, overlooking people's criticism. Saint Shalia tried to find a way out of this fortress with no entrance or exit. Fortunately, she never relied on vision, hearing and sense of direction to find the way, but on an instinct. As I mentioned before, it is as unpredictable as fate.

When the young man threw up the golden ball of yarn, the thread of fate had quietly opened a crack in the fortress, like water, sunlight, and everything that can be seen and touched but cannot be grasped. From two years ago to two years later, from a long time ago to a long time later, in the countable time and the uncountable time, the girl had figured out his pattern.

and so.

"You can't fool me." She emphasized every word.

If the first sentence only made Ling Ge a little stunned, then the second sentence suddenly convinced him that he really had no secrets in front of this shepherdess. He felt sorry about this, but somehow, he also felt a subtle sense of relief. After quietly letting out a sigh of relief, a helpless smile appeared on his face: "Okay."

“I’m not going to lie,” he said.

Saint Xia Liya then pursed her lips, outlining a shallow arc, took back her hand from the young man's chest, and asked: "Now can you tell me why you lied?"

Ling Ge sighed: "Because of Bai Ye and Xinuo."

The girl blinked her eyes: "What does this have to do with them?"

"They all think I'm too weak." Ling Ge said, "Bai Ye wants me to be more indifferent, and Xinuo wants me to be stronger. Only in this way can I deal with the challenge from the Witch Society. I think what they say... makes sense."

"So you want to use this method to make yourself appear... indifferent and strong?" Saint Shallia hesitated. "You treat the value of the Ash Guerrillas as a bargaining chip, and the cooperation between the two parties as an exploitation relationship. You only need to focus on what benefits you can get from it, and everything else, including people's hearts, ideals, beliefs or faith, is not worth mentioning. Do you think that as long as you force yourself to do this and force yourself to believe, you can become more indifferent and strong as Bai Ye and Xino said, and will not be defeated by any difficulties...?"

"kindness."

She analyzed Ling'er's psychology so thoroughly that the young man couldn't say a word of defense and could only admit it.

In fact, he felt in his heart that this was wrong, but reality made him unable to convince himself. He recalled the various experiences since he embarked on the journey, and he couldn't help but think, if he had not been so weak, so naive, and so self-deceiving, and only wanted to find the goddess to help him remove the effect of the golden apple and return to normal life with Metien, but faced the fate in front of him, and did not turn a blind eye to the atrocities and tragedies happening in front of him, and even vowed to fight the tyranny of the Witch Society to the end like Rochelle, Carson Borg, and the hero Ian, would everything have a different ending?
Themis in the heavens would not sacrifice herself because she could not decide between fantasy and reality; Alice would not close her heart because she lost the ability to fantasize; Ieta would not blame herself for all the mistakes and voluntarily go back after she had already walked out of the windmill tower; Metien would not struggle to support herself because she gave up her father's career; and Xino and Bai Ye would not be disappointed with their own weak escape. If all this can be changed, who can say that it is not a beautiful future?
Perhaps Linger himself resisted this change, but it didn't matter anymore, because in the face of the power of reality, he felt that his personal feelings were no longer important. Perhaps people all need to make changes, but often by the time they realize this, they have already paid a heavy price.

Indifference and strength are the forces that can fight against reality.

The weak me in the past is dead...

"Poof!" Saint Xia Liya couldn't help but burst out laughing. She laughed so happily that she even squeezed out several tears. She leaned half of her body on Lingge, one hand covering her stomach and the other hand wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes. She looked cheerful and bright, and was completely different from the gentle and quiet shepherdess girl she usually was.

Lingge was a little confused by her laughter, looking at her at a loss, not knowing what was so funny about his words. Across the dim corridor, the laughter of children could be heard from the front hall. A huge, happy atmosphere enveloped the young man, but he didn't know what to do.

After a while, Saint Sharia's laughter gradually stopped. She gently wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes and said to the young man with a smile: "What a childish idea, Lingge." "Childish!?"

Ling Ge was struck by lightning. All along, others had only praised his calmness and prudence, describing him as having a mature temperament that was not in line with a young man of his age, but no one had ever said to Ling Ge, "You are very childish." Saint Shallia was the first one. Of course, Ling Ge would not agree. He just felt that Saint Shallia mistakenly put the evaluation of others on himself. For example, it was not bad to use it to describe Shemi and Leticia. Although, they were children.

One detail worth pondering is that only adults are described as "childish". This is because the innocence and naivety of children are taken for granted, and only those traits that go against common sense will attract people's attention.

"Yeah, childish." Saint Shallia put her hands behind her back with an innocent expression, not thinking there was anything wrong with her evaluation: "Because people say you are not cold and strong enough, you have to prove that you can do it; isn't this just like a child who is said to be immature, so he tries his best to become an adult?"

Lingge was speechless. When he thought about it carefully, it was true.

Am I really a childish person? He couldn't help but reflect on himself, but everyone on Yunjingkong Island, including Saint Xia Liya, would get the same answer to this question. Just like Gloria was not surprised when she saw that Ling Ge quickly established a good relationship with Mitch and Kadora, even faster than Metien. The person who knows children best, the person who is closest to children, and the person who understands what children want and need best, must have a child in his heart.

"But children usually only miss the time when they were children when they become adults." Saint Xia Liya said softly, "It's the same with you, Lingge. When you really become an indifferent, strong adult who doesn't care about ideals and emotions and only cares about reality and interests as you think, you will definitely miss yourself now, right? Moreover, I think that the kind of indifferent adult that Bai Ye wants you to be, and the kind of strong adult that Xino wants you to be, are definitely not what you understand, Lingge."

Her words silenced Lingge.

Did I understand it wrongly?

The young man couldn't help thinking. In the deserted church, under the gaze of the goddess statue, the gray-haired girl showed him a mysterious, indifferent but provocative smile, mocking him for being too weak. But Gloria also said that Bai Ye didn't hate young people like that. On the contrary, he liked them very much. Then he thought of the deep and quiet night, under the ancient umbrella-like sycamore, the white-haired and red-eyed knight gently reached out and embraced him, and persuaded him with a sincere tone to put away those weak thorns and become stronger. But she also told Ling Ge not to care about other people's impression of you. What's important is your own thoughts. What kind of person do you want to be?
A light fragrance lingered at the tip of his nose. The hair of the young girl had the smell of spring, and perhaps a hint of apple. When she picked the apples from the tree, when she washed the dust off the peels by the clear stream, when she gently cut the flesh while thinking in her heart whether everyone would smile happily after eating the apples, the warm aroma always floated in the air. Under her neat bangs, in those bright and pure golden eyes, Ling Ge could smell it.

On the day the incredible journey began, he also ate an apple, along with his sister Metien.

However, both apples are the most ordinary apples.

"What do you think?" The young man blurted out, "What should I do, Saint Shallia?" before he had time to think about the special meaning of the memories of the past that suddenly emerged in his mind, and whether the illusory whispers left behind before they disappeared also indicated some special meaning.

Saint Xia Liya was stunned for a moment, then her eyes curved and she laughed silently.

If memory serves me right, this is the first time that Linger has asked others what to do about his own problems. In the past, only others have asked him this question. He is always so mature, stable, and confident, so he feels that he can definitely achieve his goals and does not need to think about other things; but at the same time, he is so weak, sensitive, and childish that he forces himself to change something because he wants to meet other people's expectations.

It was as if there were two people living in his body at the same time. When they flew into the sky, it was the first person; and when they fell to the ground, it was the other person. If she asked herself which Ringer she liked more, the girl would definitely not be able to give an answer, right? After all, she thought both Ringers were good and liked them so much. It would be great if they could become one person.

A Lingge who is mature, steady, confident, and worthy of everyone's reliance; a Lingge who is weak, sensitive, full of childishness, and needs to be protected by everyone. Like a fortress opening its door, a hedgehog putting away its stubborn thorns; like apples welcoming the ripe season, and the taste of wine fermenting in the cellar for thirteen years. Is he indifferent? Is he strong? Is he upset about being judged as childish? Is he at a loss because of seeing the girl's smile? Is he deliberately playing tricks when playing a battle game with a child? Is he so serious and solemn when explaining the goddess's teachings on the altar? Is it...?

They are Ringo.

It's all Ringer.

So, if you ask me, what should I do?

"Be more like yourself, Lingge." She opened her arms and gently held the young man in her arms, her forehead just against his chest. It seemed that she could still hear a heart beating non-stop in the young man's body through a warm touch. Was it due to nervousness or some other emotion? In the past, Saint Xia Liya always wanted to know the answer to this question, but suddenly she didn't care about anything, because nothing was more important than him: "Don't live too much for others, the most important thing is-"

She murmured, and slowly closed her eyes in his arms: "What kind of life do you want to live?"

Give me some meow