Alice in the Land of Steam

Chapter 1202: Have you always done whatever you want?

For Alice, crying is not an easy thing. Often, it is not that she cannot feel sadness, but that she cannot understand the source of that sadness, just like this girl has lost the ability to cry a long time ago. She is considered optimistic by everyone, and can face any difficulties cheerfully, which also inspires the atmosphere of the team. But Lingge did not realize until later that all the missing things will return in a more turbulent manner in the end of fate, just as time will always make up for all the debts. So on the day when Themis in the celestial world disappeared in the sea of ​​stars, he saw tears more terrible than the torrent of loneliness, coming from this girl who was once thought not to cry.

Alice hadn't cried in the half month since then, but this half month of not crying was not comparable to the longer time she had not cried in the past. At that time, she was addicted to the false fantasy created by the game, and she didn't know that there was another world outside her room. Now her great patience was just a supplement and confrontation to this world. The reason she decided not to cry anymore was that she would always find a suitable place for those tears, such as venting them on the day of revenge until the tears turned into heavy rain.

The Moriah poem mentioned that every story ends with a heavy rain. Alice didn't understand this, but she had learned to imitate its essence without any guidance.

It was Lingge who suddenly made her understand that if sadness was suppressed for too long, it would no longer be tears.

They will become sharper things, snow or ice, freezing yourself and stabbing others. So, if you can cry now, please do not hesitate. Although the long poem of the Moriah is obscure and profound, it is not necessarily the philosophy of the world. The emotions that you can feel are the meaning of tears.

Half a month later, Alice learned to cry again. Whether the long-lost rain can breed new vitality in the barren heartland, Lingge is still unsure. He just felt the fragility of this girl again in the transmission of the warmth of his palm. Just like she carefully asked the young man before she shed tears: "Can I cry?"

In fact, no one would stop her from crying.

Or maybe everyone hoped that she could cry her heart out. At that time, whether it was Saint Xia Liya, Olvera, Yieta or anyone else, they would not be stingy with a hug. Accompanying and sharing are the duties of companions.

But in the end, by chance, she chose the palm of the young man to place her tears and loneliness that had nowhere to go. Subconsciously, she always regarded Lingge as the person she trusted the most, which may be related to her experience when she first came to this world. Although it was Metien who decided to accept Alice at that time, it was actually Lingge who really taught the genius player how to survive in this world.

He told Alice that this was an era dominated by wealth and material desires. Even if you didn't want to go with the flow, you had to at least learn to adapt, otherwise you would be eliminated. He warned Alice that the real world was not a game, and you should make every choice carefully because it would profoundly affect your future. He also hoped that Alice would understand that exciting adventures, ups and downs of the journey, and thrilling battles were plots in novels. For ordinary people, only a peaceful life was irreplaceable.

At that time, the genius player did not like these long paragraphs of reasoning. In her eyes, the world was more like a playground, with many unknowns waiting for her to explore. She couldn't wait to start this adventure, and threw the young people's warnings behind her and regarded them as negative remarks. "Lingge's life is so boring," she complained more than once, just like a child always complaining that his parents are too rigid and stubborn.

But maybe she could understand.

If time could flow backwards, and she could return to the outskirts of Linville, to the small cemetery called Itney, when Linger recounted the past in front of her adoptive father's tombstone, she might be more deeply touched; going back further, when she sat with a group of young but hopeful children and saw the young man standing in front of the blackboard and recounting those historical anecdotes and biographies that he had memorized by heart, would she feel that it would be a better choice to stop all presumptuous fantasies and let him stay quietly in this small school as an ordinary history teacher?
Although many stories will change because of this, only his wish has been fulfilled. In this world, in this not long but profound enough story, he is the person who should have his wish fulfilled the most, but he always fulfills the wishes of others.

Maybe this is fate.

After crying for a while, Alice gradually calmed down.

She sniffed hard, then rubbed her cheek on Ling's palm a few times. After wiping away all her tears, she raised her head again. At this time, except for some redness and swelling in the corners of her eyes, she looked no different from usual. Ling only shook his head helplessly, took two tissues from the desk next to him, and carefully and meticulously wiped away all the remaining tear marks on them.

Seeing his actions, the genius player couldn't help but frowned: "What do you mean, Lingge? Do you dislike me?"

"Yeah." Lingge admitted frankly.

Alice looked at him with disdain: "These are the tears of a beautiful girl, how can you just wipe them away?"

What else can I do if I don't wipe it off? Although Ling Ge wanted to ask this, he estimated that the answer he would get would only make him unable to eat breakfast the next day. After thinking about it, he gave up and said to Alice: "Since you can still make a joke, I will not care about you using my hand as a rag for the time being. As compensation, remember to apologize to everyone tomorrow, especially Xiao Xia and the boss lady. They have been taking care of you for the past half month."

"I would do it without you telling me, you cheapskate!"

"hehe."

"By the way, didn't I look particularly weak and touching when I cried just now? Were you moved, Lingge?"

Ling Ge thought for a while and said, "I don't know how to answer you. After all, this question is very——"

"Isn't it important?"

"Is boring."

Alice was so angry that she waved her fist at the young man, as if she was going to fight him to the death. Lingge didn't care about her threat, but he was a little strange that the genius player was inexplicably excited after crying. He carefully examined every detail of the girl's eyes and every change in her expression. After seeing that she was a little confused, he sighed softly: "Although I really hope you can change back to the way you were before, you don't have to force yourself, Alice."

This sentence was like a sharp sword, piercing through the girl's disguise. Alice was stunned for a long time, and when she came to her senses, she was a little discouraged. She muttered in frustration: "Is it obvious?"

"Well. Although crying is indeed a way to vent emotions, venting emotions alone cannot be considered true growth, Alice." The young man said slowly. For some reason, the genius player felt that there was a hint of earnest advice in his tone.

"It sounds so complicated." She grabbed a handful of hair irritably. "But after crying, I do feel a lot more relaxed. Doesn't that count as recovery?"

"Of course you feel relieved after letting go of some burdens. But what else do you feel, Alice?"

The genius player frowned and thought for a long time with a tangled look on his face. Finally, he had to admit that Ling Ge was right: "Empty... right."

She looked up at the empty ceiling. It was hard to describe her feelings at the moment. Her chest felt empty, as if something was missing. Perhaps, as Linger said, crying was a way to vent emotions. In the past half month, she had been blaming herself for the death of Themis and the damage to the game console. Her heart was filled with fear, anxiety, panic, sadness, loneliness and other more complicated emotions. This made her lose herself for a while and choose to escape, which disappointed many people.

It was Lingge who made her realize what she was supposed to be like, the genius player who could get pure happiness from the game, the genius player who always said she wanted to play a Happy Ending, the genius player who had a player's mindset and would work hard to find a way forward no matter what difficulties she encountered - if she was getting lost, then Alice hoped to find her back.

But this is not an easy thing to do. When the negative emotions that originally occupied the heart were washed away by tears, only a blank space was left. It was lost due to the passage of time. If you want to fill it again, you may have to wait for time to repair it. If you rush for success, you will be like Alice just now. Although it seems that she has returned to her past appearance and even joked with Lingge in the past tone, in the eyes of those who are really familiar with her, no matter how you look at it, there is a sense of deliberateness, as if... she is not finding herself again, but playing the self that has not been lost.

If it is just acting, it will never become a reality in your lifetime.

Just like Bai Ye, she tried so hard to act as a cold and ruthless person, but when she was slightly shocked by the outside world, wouldn't her true self be exposed immediately? Ling Ge suddenly felt that the two of them were a bit similar. At least Alice in the past half month was similar to Bai Ye since he knew her. Perhaps the only difference between them was that Bai Ye was so cold and ruthless at the end of her performance that she probably even believed herself; while Alice knew from the beginning that she was acting, but she was unwilling to admit it, trying to deceive herself and others.

"It's so hard to go back to your old self, Lingge."

Alice stared at the ceiling, muttering as if to herself. She realized this because she suddenly realized that time flows forward, and memories and emotions are always increasing and decreasing, just like an hourglass, whether it is placed right side up or upside down, the sand in it will never stop falling.

For Alice in the past, whether she was living on Earth or coming to Mirror Star for the first time, time was actually stagnant. She was no different from her past, present, and future selves at any moment, and naturally would not change. However, the moment she stepped into the Holy Temple of Heaven, time suddenly began to flow forward. She knew that she was the Young Queen, she knew that she came from the old world of Eden, she knew the relationship between her and the goddess, the heavenly Themis, and even the Tiantis... Once these memories were known, they could not be retrieved.

What cannot be retraced cannot be changed, unless she is willing to completely abandon these memories, even abandon everything she had on Mirror Star, return to Earth, and continue to live in that room that looks like a hospital ward, playing games every day, not knowing what the outside world looks like, and not having any yearning. At that time, time will solidify again, and for her, it is equivalent to being cut off from the story.

But Ling knew that Alice would never choose this path.

The young man pondered for a while, and suddenly said: "I have an idea."

"Really?" Alice lowered her head and stared at Lingge with sparkling eyes. This scene suddenly made the young man feel familiar. In the past, Alice seemed to often look at him with similar eyes, usually when she came up with a bad idea - or couldn't come up with a bad idea and expected others to help her come up with one. The strange thing was that even though she knew that the young man would never agree with her bad ideas, and would never give her bad ideas, Alice always couldn't help sharing them with him and pestering him.

Even this kind of unexpected trust can sometimes be inherited, so does Alice realize at this moment that she has some similarities with her past self?
Ling Ge suddenly smiled and said, "It's very simple. Just live as you want, Alice."

"Eh?" The genius player tilted his head and blinked: "What... does this mean?"

"It means, you can do whatever you want. Play games when you want to, eat snacks when you want to, play pranks on the lamb or Shemy when you want to, and even bully Aovira and Yieta when you want to. Just don't go too far, and don't let Xiaoxia find out... How is it, isn't it simple?"

"It seems so." Alice asked suspiciously, "But why do you describe me as a troublesome guy in the past?"

"This is true."

Lingge smiled and stretched out his hand, pressed it on the golden-haired maid's head, and then rubbed it vigorously, ruffling her bright golden long hair. When she hurriedly struggled to break free, he sighed: "After all, I noticed it from the first time I saw you."

"You've always been a free-spirited guy."

Give me some meow