Re:Zero - Jobless Reincarnation: Succubus Sword God? I don't recognize it!

Chapter 106: Sincerely for You - Hilda's Diary
September 3, rain.

I met Alice's new tutor today. My dear had told me about this before, and I was mentally prepared, but why did I lose my composure the moment I saw that child?

The kid killed someone. He drowned Thomas alive. His expression was a little scary. But for some reason I always felt that he was so kind.
Alice's new tutors are all quite young.

Then when I returned to my bedroom and changed my skirt, the feeling of intimacy was gone, and I felt a surge of anger. Why did I feel intimacy with that child?
Because he has the same dark grey pupils as me.

Why is my child far away in the capital? And I have to take care of someone else's child?

Why.is this happening?
I suppressed my anger. This had nothing to do with those kids, did it?
Before lunch, I wanted to invite them to have dinner together.

But the moment he saw them, and heard Alice saying that she was going to take his new tutors to familiarize themselves with the mansion, his face was filled with joy at finally meeting people of his own age.

I was very sad and could no longer control the emotions that were welling up in me.

I don't understand. Is it that I am marrying Philip and marrying the honor of the Boreas family?
It is obvious that my son can grow up with Alice and take good care of her as her brother. If they were here, perhaps Alice would not be so lonely, and would not show such a happy expression just by seeing a few tutors of her age?

I stood up and walked past them. They all had their heads down, including the kid who looked familiar to me.

I didn't see his face clearly.

But there was someone watching me.

It’s the child of that distant cousin.

He might have seen my disgusted expression, he looked a little confused and a little worried.

The moment we passed each other, I realized that I shouldn't have done that.

They are all sensible children. On the first day at the Boreas family's house, everyone was very reserved. What was I doing to them like this?
So I stopped, apologized, and invited them to have lunch with me.

His name is also Alan
Same with age.
If my child is around
Can I grow as tall as him?
Will she be as calm as him?

Fate, so cruel
-

July 4. Overcast.

I saw the kid again today.

He is obviously not my child, but why can't I help but look at him?
As I looked at the table and watched him out of the corner of my eye, I understood the source of this familiarity.

His hair was just like Dear's, both were brown and curly.

will be
Coincidence?
In the afternoon, I took advantage of Alice's mischief to invite Alan's companion to my bedroom, a girl from the long-eared tribe, very cute. It seemed that she and the teacher both liked Alan and were struggling with the idea.

It is a certain fact that Alan is a risk-taker.

It's really a coincidence.
It seems that Allen was frustrated in the competition with Gileno.

Looks uninjured.

Great.

-

July 4. Overcast.

I saw Alan again today.

I know he is not my child, but I always feel a sense of familiarity.
He looked very serious while practicing swordsmanship.

I wonder if my child in the capital will like swordsmanship as much as he does?

I heard that he seems to be very talented in swordsmanship.

Just heard
-

January 5. Sunny.

I heard something interesting from Sylphy today.

It seems that Alan started skipping classes to practice swordsmanship with Alice.

And it seemed that they all took advantage of Professor Rudius's reading, writing and arithmetic classes.

This child is somewhat pitiful.

But Alan and Alice have a very good relationship. For some reason, I feel like my mood is caressed by a spring breeze.

I haven't felt this happy in a long time.

The new tutors are all very cute and responsible.

Alice is also growing up.

very nice.

-

Nov. 5. rain.

So they were training in swordsmanship on the roof?

Why did I run to such a high place? Is it because whenever Allen and Alice are together, I can't help but want to see them?
Unconsciously, it seemed to have brought a lot of pressure to Allen.

After all, he was a hired tutor.
This is not my intention, I just can't help it, the way they are together always makes me feel like Alice is with her brother.
Sorry.

-

January 5. Sunny.

Sylphy seems to have noticed my mood recently.

She invited me to go upstairs today and watch them practice swordplay from afar.

I kept refusing because I didn't want to put more pressure on Alan.

But Sylphy said it was okay.

In the end I went.

They really look like siblings.
The wind in May makes people feel warm.

-

January 5. Sunny.

Sylphy proposed today to set up a special tea house upstairs.

The location there is very secluded and will not disturb Alan and Alice from practicing swordsmanship.

Finally, I finally felt relieved.

In this way, I won't bring pressure to Alan, right?
Great.

-

July 6. Overcast.

More than two months.

Some of Alan's personality traits are completely different from what I imagined.

Maybe, I subconsciously put him into my child.

That's my imagination.

Allen is the fact at hand.

they
Not alone.

-

January 7. Sunny.

Alan is not only serious about swordplay, he is serious about everything he does.

Agile, decisive, and possessing leadership qualities.

I can't help comparing him to my kids.

It was clear in my mind that my child would be a polite, interested in swordsmanship, very gentle, but smart, nobleman like my dear.

But after watching it for more than two months, I found that my understanding of my child who was far away in the capital
Gradually became blurred.

But he was filled with Alan's personality traits.

Not abrupt at all.

I can't help but wonder, would my child's personality be more similar to Allen's?
Not so much like dear, but more like father.
-

February 8. Wind.

The longer I looked at Alan.

The more I think about it, my children might be very similar to him.

Yes, my previous impressions of children were all imaginary.

I always can't help imitating my dear's image.
But the child Alan was standing right in front of me.

If he was really like Allen far away in the royal capital.

Also good.

He is a very charming child.

I always feel like there's something.
It seems to have a sense of reality.

Alan is not my child.
But it is true
Possess a sense of reality.

-

January 9. Sunny.

Allen has Sylphy all over him~
I have to help her.

correct.

Dance of love.

Maybe it's a good choice.

But there is no chance.
I wonder if that kid Alan can do the dance of love?
He is so smart, he will definitely learn it right away, right?

-

January 10. Sunny.

Sylphy suggested that I teach them the Boreas etiquette class today. This way, I can stand in front of Allen and Alice and watch them
Watch their interaction as master and disciple.

It’s really exciting.

Tomorrow, come soon.

Somewhat nervous.

I guess neither of them would mind that I’m not as good a teacher as Edna.

I'll take advantage of tomorrow's daytime to read some books and get ready.

By the way, teach them the dance of love!
-

October 10. Snow. (Water stains, wrinkles, wine stains, messy handwriting, blurry)
-

Allen
It's my child.
I can't admit my mistake. How could I admit my mistake?
he.
He is my child
I do not understand
Why? Why?
Is this happening?
Philip told me that this was to protect him, because James sent someone to assassinate him, so Philip secretly took him back to Boreas as a guest and provided him with protection.

Boreas
The proton tradition.
I couldn't recognize him.
My father will send him back to the capital.
It's too dangerous there, too dangerous, James wants to kill him
Why? Why can't I recognize him even though he's right in front of me?

how come?
so?

how come?
such
He is my child, he is Alan, my guess is right, his personality, his looks, his hair, he is my child
My intuition, my intimacy, never lies.
but why?
Or will it still be like this?
Allen
Allen
He doesn't even know.

I am his mother. (Blurred, almost unrecognizable)
-

November 11. Snow.

I feel like I'm sick.

-

November 11. Snow.

fever
My mind is a little confused
Allen
Come to visit me.
I didn't dare look at him.

-

November 11. Snow.

The doctor said there was nothing wrong with my body.

I knew very well that there was nothing wrong with my body and his judgment was correct.

I have a fever again.

-

November 11. Snow.

I seem to be feeling a little better.

I couldn't recognize him.

-

November 12. Snow.

Alan seemed to smile at me today.

It is an illusion.

I still couldn't get up to greet them.

-

November 12. Snow.

Alan did laugh.

In my dreams, he always looks like Philip, smiling but with a lot of bad intentions.

But when I actually saw him, I felt that was not the case.

He looked at Alice with affection in his eyes.

very nice.

He was smiling at Alice.

very nice.

They are brother and sister.

very nice.

-

November 1. Snow.

I've been feeling better recently.

Alan didn't smile at me today.

-

November 1. Snow.

No laughter.

-

November 1. Snow.

No laughter.

-

November 1. Snow.

I feel a little better today.

No laughter.

-

January 1. Sunny.

I was told that I felt better today.

Alan smiled.

Really good (blurred)
-

November 1. Snow.

With a sullen face.

-

November 1. Snow.

With a sullen face.

-

July 1. Overcast.

I can't keep a gloomy face all the time.

This will be stressful for them.
They are all children.

Who would like an old woman who has a gloomy face every day?

Alan wouldn't like it either.

-

July 1. Overcast.

I laughed my ass off today.

Alan was surprised.

But his eyes were obviously relaxed.

-

July 1. Overcast.

It's not an illusion.

-

-

January 1. Cloudy. (crossed out) Sunny.

Alan smiled.

I figured it out.

Some things are difficult to decide, but decisions need to be made.

This is good for Alan too.
Isn't it.
Allen
Allen
Mom will be far away.

With a smile, always, always looking at you.

even if
you do not know.

It doesn't matter.

　It's finally out.

　　Well, actually some people don’t like me writing about family.

　　I don't know why, why does maternal love have no sense of substitution?
　　Why did I relate to the character? Because I wrote it based on the character created by my mother.

　　In short
　　Not too far from reality.

　　thank.

　　Here are the free chapters. I hope you can't say that I'm being sloppy.

　　
　
(End of this chapter)