Re:Zero - Jobless Reincarnation: Succubus Sword God? I don't recognize it!

Chapter 196: Sincerely for You Sylphy's Diary

Chapter 196: Sincerely for You - Sylphy's Diary
(The timeline starts from Spring 413)
It was sunny on March 1.

I've been troubled lately. Ever since last year's Snow Valley, I can't take my eyes off Alan anymore.
I don't know why. I always want to look at him. I look at him every day. I was reluctant when my father took me home from the Knight's house.
I want to keep looking at him.

It was sunny on March 1.

Today I wanted to write a letter to my teacher to ask why I have been feeling this way recently.

But after picking up the pen, I don't know why I thought of Alan's face again.
Today at the foot of the hill, Rudy and Alan talked about the teacher, and he seemed very happy.

I am very happy too. I miss my teacher too.

I thought of one more thing.

Two years ago, that spring. He was standing under the tree like this, the shadows of the leaves swaying on his face.
Just like today.

He has a nice smile.

I really want to keep looking at him.

January 1. Sunny.

I wrote a letter to my teacher yesterday.

But thinking of their figures standing together, I don't know why I didn't write down my recent troubles.
it's wired.
Obviously I really want to ask why this is happening.
Why didn’t I ask this when I wrote the letter?

January 2. Sunny.

Allen said today was a good day, and he kept showing off the necklace that Mr. Luo Qixi gave him to Rudy. Why should he show off such a thing to him?
Rudy looked pretty stinky though.

The necklace given by the teacher is very beautiful.

I wrote to my teacher before and told him that I want one.
Will it make me seem willful?

Is that a necklace specially given to Alan?
February 2. Wind.

After what happened yesterday, I seemed to understand something vaguely.

"A team of adventurers."

The adventurer team that Mr. Luo Qixi mentioned to Allen is not what I understand.
It feels like their adventurer team
Just the two of them.

What a strange feeling.

So what about Rudy and I?
If Alan decided to take the risk with the teacher.

I can't seem to look at him anymore.
3 month 7 day.

Today, Allen accidentally mentioned Roya City, and his eyes looked very far away.
Allen's family situation is a bit complicated, and he cannot recognize his family yet.
But he values his family very much, so his eyes seem so distant.
There should be a day when he will return to Roya, to his home.
Alan's words when he returns home
Maybe Rudy will go along? They are relatives.
What about me?
Will I be alone in the village again?
It's scary just thinking about it.
what to do.
It was sunny on March 3.

Yesterday I was in Buena Village, only one night had passed, and now I am sitting in Allen's house writing a letter.
It is the Boreas Mansion in Roya City.
It feels so unreal
I didn't have time to write in my diary yesterday because so much happened.

Allen's father and sister suddenly visited, assassinated, came to the Boreas mansion, so many things, my mind is now a mess.
However, there are two very important things I need to write down.

the first thing.

I realized that I seemed to lack trust in Alan.
I am sorry.

He clearly had no intention of leaving me alone in the village, and when he assassinated me he also clearly said that he would come back.
But I still couldn't help but keep thinking about it.
I cried once when the Knight's family found out that he had intended to bring me to Roya City, and I cried again when I saw him returning from the woods safe and sound in the morning.

I'm so useless. He obviously doesn't like children crying.
I have been trying to be as calm and organized as Alan and the teacher, but I still can't do it well.
But
Alan was just trying to comfort me.
His knees are so warm.
I really want to sit next to him forever (blackened)
Run! Off topic!
The second thing!

At the Knight's house, starting from last winter in Snow Valley, I could clearly feel Alan's love for the Knight's family.

This also makes me feel that Allen values his family very much.

But in fact, it seems that this is not the case. Lord Sauros even wanted to drive Allen away in the morning, and his father's attitude seemed very cold.
And Alan seemed to hate them as well.

but
One person is normal.

Alan's mother, Mrs. Hilda, was a little dazed when she saw Alan, whether it was the first time they met or during dinner.

And if you only look at Alan's expression, he seems very calm.

But he always avoided Mrs. Hilda's sight and held the spoon very hard during lunch.
For some reason, an intuition came to my mind.

Perhaps Allen's heart is not as tough as he seems.

Sylphy.

You need to toughen up.

I can't cry anymore.

If you keep imitating Allen and Teacher Roxy, you will just keep following behind them.

In this way, it would be impossible to stand next to them, let alone adventure together in the same adventurer team.

Since Allen's heart is not as tough as I thought, then I also want to try
To protect Alan.

It's not dependent on the teacher.

But by myself.

In the name of Sylphiet!

I suddenly remembered something else.

When he returned from the forest in the morning, the wound on Alan's neck had healed, but he clearly saw blood last night. Was it a trick of the Beishen School? But it didn't seem like it.
Maybe the teacher once taught Allen the healing technique privately.
Did the two of them practice magic in private?
My mind is so confused today, I will continue writing tomorrow
June 4th, cloudy.

I like Alan.

In today's math class, when I was talking to Alice about how to divide 1 into 2, I thought of Teacher Luo Qixi.

Then, this idea came to my mind naturally.

All the unclear feelings became clear, why I always wanted to look at Alan, why I always had a strange feeling every time the teacher was mentioned.

Because I envy the teacher.

The teacher and Alan are both excellent people.

He should belong to the teacher.

He is not half of me.

Lady Hilda invited me into her bedroom.

She seemed to realize that Alan was her child. In a panic, I chose to help him hide it according to Alan's behavior.

In the afternoon, there were some problems in the competition between Allen and Gileno.

A little worried about him.

He had been in a bad mood for the past two days since he saw Mrs. Hilda.

Should I 'protect' him without his permission? He obviously avoids Lady Hilda. Is this really protection? Or is it just self-righteous kindness?

Allen's swordsmanship has declined.
Rudy also realized that his mood was not right.
I chose to believe Alan.

I have already distrusted him twice, and I don't want it to happen a third time
June 5th, cloudy.

Alan and Alice started skipping classes. I've seen Alan less and less recently.

Lady Hilda invited me to have tea with her again today.

She also wanted to see Alan.
I want to too.
He is not half of me.

May 5. Sunny. Lady Hilda is very gentle and kind.

She also misses her children very much, and I don't think this should be the case.

So I invited her to see the place where Alan and Alice practiced sword fighting.

Then, I saw Alan, too.

January 5. Sunny.

I did a despicable thing.

At my suggestion, Lady Hilda set up a tea room upstairs.

In fact, he noticed that Mrs. Hilda missed her children and came to help her.

But that’s only part of the story.

More than anything, I also wanted to see more of Alan.

So I understand Lady Hilda.

I understand her sadness.

But, fortunately, I can finally see Alan more every day.

Before the teacher comes back or so.

Before Alan went to find the teacher.

I think
Look at him some more.

July 7. Overcast.

Lady Hilda was in tears today.

There was some joy and some sadness in her eyes.

I'm just sad.

Allen's condition did not improve.

Worry about him.
July 8. Overcast.

He is not half of me.

Nov. 9. rain.

I cried again today.

Lady Hilda looked at me and smiled.
The lady has some bad intentions.
Allen's condition is still not good.

Still worried about him.

Maybe I should start taking action.
For Alan.

And for Lady Hilda too!
January 10. Sunny.

Rudy and I came up with an idea that we hope will work.

October 10. Snow. (Blurred, water-stained, diary wrinkled)

Why? I have made up my mind this time and I am working hard.
Why do you just mess things up?
Sylphy. So useless.
Lady Hilda and Lord Philip were arguing, and the lady had no intention of recognizing Alan.
She was even sadder.
I'm so useless
Who can help me?
teacher
Help.
Alan, the person he needs is you.
-

November 11. Snow.

Lady Hilda stayed indoors.
I'm so useless
November 11. Snow.

Mrs Hilda is ill.
Blame it on me (blur)
November 11. Snow.

Heart disease?
January 1. Sunny.

Finally, today Mrs. Hilda is feeling a little better.

Blame me
November 1. Snow.

Alan had been looking gloomy lately when he visited Mrs. Hilda, and he was worried about her.

sorry.
I couldn't help.

November 1. Snow.

Lately Lady Hilda has been trying to comfort everyone with a smile.

But I could see that she was just forcing a smile.

She didn't want Alan to worry about her all the time.