Re:Zero - Jobless Reincarnation: Succubus Sword God? I don't recognize it!

Chapter 563 Memories and Marriage Flowers, the Qualification to Be Loved

Allen stared at Hilda in a daze.

A moment later, Hilda realized that she had unconsciously put some pressure on Allen again, and her face became somewhat flustered.

He explained, speaking slightly quickly:
Actually, Mom isn't afraid that your appearance will change; she's just afraid that I won't be able to see you anymore.
In Roya, I haven't seen you for so many years, so your image is like the ever-changing morning mist, changing slightly in my mind every year.

I keep wondering if you've reached the age this year where you're attractive to girls?
Do you prefer more fashionable clothes?

With that in mind, I created hunting attire that matched the aesthetics of the royal capital.

But two years later, seeing Alice grow up, I wondered if you had matured a lot? You must look even more heroic now, right?

So I prepared another dress made of excellent fabric.

I kept making clothes like that, because every year, in my heart, you were always changing.

Change means growth, and Allen has been growing all along. He's different now, and I can clearly see it in him. That's a good thing, isn't it?

This attempt to cover up the truth was filled with the rambling tone of a mother.

Even so, when it reached Allen's ears, it still revealed a lot of Hilda's thoughts.

A child's appearance changes, which means they are growing up, and growth is certainly a good thing.

Allen's appearance has changed, which proves that he is growing up, and that's good.

But the problem is
Hilda knew perfectly well that Eren's change in appearance had nothing to do with his so-called 'growth'.

His eye color, his hair color, his height, and his appearance have indeed changed.

But this is not what is meant by growth at all.

Rather, it was the change resulting from his fusion with his predecessor's body.

Hilda is still deceiving herself.

This is the real reason why she has remained calm and composed until now.

Allen opened his mouth, his voice dry, and asked, "Mom, have you read the letter I wrote to you?"

Hilda nodded, as if she felt she had successfully changed the subject: "I saw it, Allen's handwriting is as sharp as ever."

Allen was at a loss for words upon hearing this.

Since meeting Hilda, his usual method of using the Northern God's Flow to guide his enemies seemed to have vanished.

Remaining silent, remaining at a loss.

I just couldn't find the words to say.

but.

Perhaps, to some extent, for Hilda, this mother, self-deception is the best solution at present.

—That was all he could think in the end.

My gaze wandered with my thoughts, and the sunlight shimmered and danced with the shadows of the trees.

The light and shadow fell on the book on the table, making the words on the cover visible to Allen.

"Oh, that's good. Is 'Memory and Marriage' a storybook? Has Mom been reading books lately?"

Hilda glanced at the book, paused briefly, then smiled and said, "Yes, this book is wonderful."

Seeing that the conversation was finally on track, Allen's chaotic emotions calmed down a little. Although he still felt a strange sense of emptiness deep inside, he quickly adjusted his emotions and continued speaking, following Hilda's train of thought:
"It sounds like a romance novel."

Hilda's eyebrows curved into a smile, but she was born with an arrogant and domineering face. In Allen's eyes, she could only appear as a gentle mother, while in the eyes of others, she would probably be a serious and proper noble lady.

"Is it because of the title of the book 'Marriage Flower'? Hehe, speaking of love, I saw the scene of you meeting with Hilfi at the door. I'm always worried that you two haven't seen each other for a long time and there's some distance between you."

But now it seems I was overthinking it. If there hadn't been so many people around, that child, Sylphie, would probably have already snuggled into your arms.”

Allen:
This is some kind of wicked teasing from my mother.

Moreover, he felt that his conversation with Sylphie just now was quite appropriate.

As it stands, it seems that only I think so.
The next moment, Hilda's voice continued to penetrate his ears:

"But unfortunately, although the book's title involves the flower, a symbol of love, it is not a romance novel."

Allen paused, looking at the book's cover.

Hilda gently stroked the title on the book cover with her fingers, and slowly began to speak:
"This book tells a fairy tale about growing up. Would you like to hear it?"

Allen blinked: "Okay."

"Once upon a time, a child was born in a human city-state when the flowers were in full bloom."

He was human, but the reincarnation of the Demon King, possessing the memories of his past life as the Demon King from birth.

Allen's pupils contracted, and he suddenly looked up, staring at Hilda in astonishment.

The latter simply lowered his eyes and continued:

"Why reincarnate? Because he wanted to infiltrate the human city-states and secretly kill the hero who was destined to be his enemy."

In this way, with the hero who posed the greatest threat to him dead, he could destroy the entire human world without any worries, kill the human king, and lead the demons to conquer the human's land.

With this thought in mind, the Demon King patiently awaited the birth of the hero.

However, there was a slight mishap during his reincarnation; he was reborn in the wrong place and discovered that he was not born in the same village as the hero.

In this way, he could not ascertain the hero's location in advance, and could only wait for the hero to make a name for himself in the human city-states before he could make any plans.

So he thought, "Since I'm here, I might as well make the best of it. Since I've been reincarnated as a human, I'll pretend to be human first, and at the same time, use the knowledge hidden in my mind to make myself stronger. Then, when the hero reveals his name, I'll kill him directly."

Allen's voice was dry, and he asked instinctively, "...And then?"

Hilda continued her story:
"This child displayed exceptional martial arts talent from a young age, becoming famous in his village and town, and becoming a young knight."

Throughout this process, he also tries to act as a human being, attempting to interact with people and familiarize himself with human culture.

Whether it's his inherently charming personality or his overly successful performance, he has garnered a great deal of human kindness over the past decade.

There's the neighbor's child who's always admired him, the knights who fight alongside him, his childhood sweetheart who grew up playing with him, and his father and mother who've looked after him and cared for him since he was little.

Year by year.

I'm making more and more friends.

Year by year.

He thrived in the human city-states.

Year by year.

The memories of the demons who once lived alone in the cave and grew up are gradually fading.

Year by year.

He could clearly perceive the friendship, kinship, and love between people.

Year by year.

He has accumulated considerable prestige among humans.

It wasn't until his twenty-fifth birthday celebration that he saw his father, who was completely drunk, his mother, who was smiling at him, his fiancée, who was also looking at him with loving eyes, and his friends, who were all raising their glasses to toast him.

He felt he had fully understood humanity and was ready to set off to find the hero.

But then, something unexpected happened the very next day.

Allen's thoughts were racing, and he had no idea what he was thinking. He simply listened to Hilda's story and mechanically replied:

"A hero has been born?"

Hilda shook her head: "No, it was the King who came to visit."

Because a new demon king has been born.

"what?"

"The Demon King is not unique; he can be conceived in the cave of their faith simply by being worshipped by the demon race."

The new Demon King, like his predecessors, grew up alone in the cave, becoming powerful. He left the cave, was crowned, and launched a surprise attack on the human city-states.

The enemy has already besieged the city, the border is about to fall, and the human race is in imminent danger.

The king wrote a letter and personally delivered it to his doorstep, inviting him to become a hero of humanity, the hope of humankind, and to defeat the demon king.

The boy was completely unprepared for this unexpected turn of events. It took him a long time to realize that the hero had already been born.

He was reborn into the body of a hero, who had already been 'killed' by him at the time of his rebirth.

At this thought, a great ambition blossomed in his heart.

The hero is dead, and a new demon king has descended. Now, humanity has no hero, and even the former demon king himself serves as an inside man.

Destroying human city-states and occupying human territory would be a piece of cake, wouldn't it?

Hilda spoke faster and faster, quickly pushing the story to its climax under Alan's astonished gaze:
"So now, the king is right in front of me. All I have to do is kill the king, then kill all the humans around me, and create chaos, and I can achieve my own victory."

As he thought this, he noticed the gazes around him watching him.

Those gazes came from his trusted friends, his reluctant lover, and his worried father and mother.

He was stunned.

The memories of growing up alone in the cave have been almost forgotten, but the memories of growing up in human city-states over the past few decades are so clear.

He couldn't help but ask himself.

Is one's identity determined at birth and cannot be changed?
No, his identity depends on his cognition, his experiences, and his memories.

So, who is the Demon King? And who is the Hero?
In that moment of stunned silence, as he pondered these thoughts, his body moved before his mind could. He donned his armor and drew his sword.

He held the shield his friend had specially forged for him and wore the amulet his childhood sweetheart had made for him.

He became the new hero.

He led the human knights to defeat the demons.

He personally sealed the new demon king, winning flowers and applause.

He did not enjoy the fame and renown, but instead bid farewell to his friends at the celebration banquet, kissed his lover, and then returned home alone.

He found his father and mother and revealed his true identity.

Now, is he really the demon king who grew up alone in the cave?

Or perhaps a hero who gradually grows up in a human city-state?
He wanted to know the answer.

Hilda stopped speaking.

But Allen's hands were trembling.

He didn't dare look at Hilda's expression, and just gritted his teeth and continued to ask:
"Then what"

"The story of 'Memory and Marriage' has come to an end; this is the conclusion of the storybook."

Hilda tilted her head to look at him, at his white hair, at his changed features:
"But Allen's 'story' is not over yet. Allen is not a demon king. Allen is a true hero."

Allen is standing before me now, and he, too, is seeking an answer. Am I right?

Allen looked at the hands gripping his knees:

"Yes. It seems you read my letter very carefully, Mom. I am a reincarnated hero, which is why my appearance has changed."

I am not Allen Boreas Greirat, I am just a substitute.”

scoff!

Allen looked up and saw Hilda tear the last page of the storybook out of her hand.

The novels of the Six Worlds were all handwritten, and the circulation among nobles was also very particular. When the novels were bound, a few blank sheets of paper would be reserved at the end so that the owner could write some comments after reading them.

This is also a unique way of socializing.

She unfolded the white paper, placed it on the table, and took out a quill pen from her side.

Looking at the blank paper, she glanced up at Allen, her eyes sparkling with a gentle, harmless light that stung Allen's eyes.

Allen felt his mind was in turmoil and wanted to say something, but the next moment, Hilda's voice entered his ears.

"Actually, I'm also looking for an answer. Allen, tell me, if a child is abandoned by her birth mother at birth, does she have the right to call herself a mother?"

Allen's expression froze, and the mottled walls and rusty iron gate of the Aishan Orphanage flashed quickly through his memory.

In his hazy vision, he could see Little Allen sitting on the grass beside him, tilting his head and looking at him with a furrowed brow.

Allen shook his head violently, and his vision cleared again. In his eyes, Hilda's fingers were gripping the quill pen tightly.

Somewhat hesitant, somewhat unfamiliar, and tinged with a sense of struggle.

The brushstrokes made a soft, scratching sound.

—One year old: Arsbury Residence.

—At age three: He left the mansion and settled at the main dojo of the Water God.

—From age seven to twelve, he was the chief disciple of the Grand Hall.

—From age twelve to twenty-one, he was the chief disciple of a small dojo.

Hilda couldn't write anymore; her voice trembled as she looked at what she had written.

"My child's childhood memories and his growth should all be experienced by me, his mother."

I should watch him gradually shed his childishness, I should teach him, accompany him, and witness him grow up.

And these memories, these experiences, these days and nights spent together, enabled me to become his 'mother'.

Hilda stared at the blank sheet of paper before her, the white feather on her pen bent from her grip.
"But I can't even write about the resentment on your face when you moved out of the mansion all alone, and I can't even write about your triumphant demeanor at the commendation ceremony."

Even your resentment and your pride are all figments of my imagination. How could I possibly acknowledge you if I were just like that?
That night in Roya, at the other end of the covered bridge.
It wasn't me walking towards Allen; Allen was clearly walking towards me.

As Allen looked at Hilda's handwriting, he could clearly hear his own heartbeat.

He suddenly realized something.

Why did Hilda choose not to acknowledge them in Roa?
Besides the most crucial reason, the so-called tradition of the Boreas family, there is another hidden reason.

That's deep within her heart.
She was ashamed to call herself Ellen's mother.

She was never involved in Ellen's upbringing, and she felt unworthy to be Ellen's mother.

Just like Ellen felt that she had no blood relation with Hilda and was not qualified to be her child.

"Alan, thank you."

Allen looked bewildered, and before his eyes, Hilda put down her quill and took something out of her bosom.

He looked closely and saw that it was a painted doll.

The one that I had personally handed to Hilda.

He looked up and saw Hilda looking at him.

His eyes shimmered with emotion, just like Roya's that night.

"Alan, I've always wanted to tell you this. Thank you, this is the best gift I've ever received."

I was not involved in your growth, nor could I see the changes in your appearance. For so many years in the capital, you were always alone.

But you still appeared before me. That night, you were the one who handed it to me.

The doll was gently placed on the table.

Hilda picked up her pen again and began writing on the blank paper.

This time, unlike before, she wrote very smoothly and naturally, without the slightest hesitation.

—His expression while practicing swordsmanship is very serious; he's a dedicated tutor.

Alice really likes her brother and is always clinging to him, though she doesn't mean what she says.

—The clothes fit him well, and Allen looked very presentable in them.

—When visiting someone who is sick, they always have a tense face and pretend to be indifferent, but their eyes actually look very anxious.

—Dancing with Alice was so wonderful, it felt like a dream.

—Birthday party. Allen looked very confident and charismatic at the birthday party, and Sylvie couldn't take her eyes off him.

—The fireworks were beautiful. Allen looked a little nervous, and his dancing was a bit clumsy, but he was so happy!
—The doll, it was Allen who handed it to me; he called out to me...
He said.
"Mom, thank you."

—I heard it, Allen, I heard it.
Plop, plop.

Tears fell onto the white paper.

Hilda's expression showed no sadness; she was simply recalling past memories and experiencing those feelings again.

She looked up, pen in hand, at Allen's face, and said softly:

"Allen, I want to tell you something."
Mom loves you, whether you are a reincarnated hero or a blank sheet of paper.

Thank you for giving me another chance to make amends and to leave my name on this piece of paper.

As she spoke, she stroked the words she had just written.

Thank you for giving me this opportunity.
"Let me be your mother."

Allen could no longer see Hilda's face clearly.

He discovered that he needed those words more than he had imagined.

Only then did he fully realize what that faint hope, which had existed in his heart before he met Hilda but which he dared not think about in detail, was.

Why do you always try to hide the fact that you are a reincarnated person?

Is it really just because he's afraid of making Hilda sad?

Is that the case?

Hilda's words provided the answer.

Allen.

Such an outsider from Boreas.

This is an outsider who has no blood relation to Hilda.

This is an outsider who grew up in an orphanage and was abandoned multiple times.

An orphan who has no blood relation to his mother, whether in his previous life or this one.

Hilda used only one sheet of paper.

That gave him the right to be loved.

At this moment.