Longevity from Liao Zhai

Chapter 25: Sex is the only way to have sex

"Zhou Ping, do you want a wife or not?"

Chen Li nudged Zhou Ping with her shoulder.

Zhou Ping dodged and almost caused Chen Li to fall.

"Auntie Chen, please talk nicely. It's not good for people to see a widow and a young man like this on the street."

Zhou Ping joked.

"Hey, Zhou Ping, here's the thing, you want a wife or not."

"After word got out that you bought a house, several families asked if you wanted a wife."

Chen Li didn't waste any words and got straight to the point. She wanted to be a matchmaker for Zhou Ping.

"The daughter of the old Li family in the east end of the county is only 28 years old. She is very beautiful and doesn't like to go out."

"The old Liu family in the west of the county has a great appetite and a strong body."

"There is also the old Wang family on our street. He has an old daughter."

Chen Li didn't eat any melon seeds today, and there were blisters on her mouth. She probably ate too many melon seeds and had a fire in her mouth.

He doesn't like going out, maybe it's because his legs and feet are not in good condition.

He has a good appetite and a strong body, so I guess he has gained weight.

As for the old girl, she must be more discerning.

"Thank you, Aunt Chen. I haven't thought about getting married so soon."

Zhou Ping tactfully expressed his unwillingness.

"If you don't like these ones, there is one in the west of the city, but she is a widow."

Chen Li said again.

"widow?"

Zhou Ping's mouth twitched slightly.

"Yes, she is a widow, but she came to tell me about this matter. She is very concerned about it. She doesn't even have any children."

Chen Li introduced.

Zhou Ping smiled bitterly, he didn't expect that this world is the same as the previous life. There is only sex when there is sex.

"Why, you can't not take care of the child? Do you like taking care of children?"

Chen Li folded her arms and smiled wickedly.

"I"

Before Zhou Ping could finish his words, he was interrupted by Chen Li.

"Zhou Ping, if you like widows with children, what do you think of me?"

"Your uncle Chen died early, and I worked hard to raise four children."

"I'm only 40 now, I can still have children. If we are together, we should hurry up and have two children in three years. I gave birth to four boys, so I can definitely give birth to more boys. It will be no problem for you to have children."

Chen Li said this half jokingly and half seriously.

"Aunt Chen, I have something to do and I'm leaving first. Erdan will be back soon, please prepare something delicious for him."

Zhou Ping was at a loss for words and didn't know how to respond.

"Erdan? Oh oh? Zhou Ping, if you are worried about Erdan."

"I will convince him. From now on, you two can talk about your own affairs. He will call you father and you can call him brother."

"Hey, Zhou Ping, don't go. Zhou Ping, why are you walking so fast? I can't keep up with you."

After Zhou Ping separated from Chen Li, he went to the street to buy cinnabar and yellow paper.

Zhou Ping is ready to try drawing talismans!
The two men in black we met before can use yellow talismans to create fireballs, which can be used as flash bombs or bombs with amazing power.

Zhou Ping wanted to learn the Fire Talisman, but he didn't have the secret book on how to draw it.

He had a magic spell called "A Talisman to Kill Ghosts" in his hand, so Zhou Ping prepared to draw the talisman and try it out.

Uncle Lame also drew runes.

According to Uncle Lame, runes are not easy to draw. It took him several years to barely draw a useful rune, and the defect rate was very high. He could only successfully draw two out of ten runes.

Uncle Lame did not recommend Zhou Ping to learn how to draw talismans. He felt that Zhou Ping should focus on martial arts.

But Zhou Ping still wanted to give it a try.

Martial arts may be powerful in combat, but Zhou Ping also wants to be a magician.

Controlling objects, escaping underground, thunder magic, and fire magic.
These spells have great appeal to Zhou Ping.

In the room, Zhou Ping spread out yellow paper and began to draw talismans.

Xiaobai was playing and laughing with the "air" in the yard.

"Air" is a ghost baby!

At the beginning, Xiaobai would go to the dry well to find the ghost baby to play with.

Later, the cat and the ghost would play around the dry well.

Later on, the ghost baby became braver and would play in the yard under Xiaobai's guidance.

However, the ghost baby was extremely afraid of Zhou Ping and never approached within ten feet of Zhou Ping.

Zhou Ping’s perception range is within ten feet, and he cannot see the ghost baby beyond ten feet.

Ordinary people have other ways to see ghosts, for example, the warriors in the escort agency will buy cow's tears.

Cow tears dripping into human eyes can last for a day and night.

It is said that Taoist priests have magic that can open eyes and see ghosts, but Zhou Ping has never seen one.

Zhou Ping also has cow's tears, but he doesn't like to use them.

"It's so difficult!"

Zhou Ping took great effort to barely draw a rune.

According to Uncle Lame, when the rune is completed, it will sense that the heaven and earth will flash with light.

The first rune will naturally not be successful.

Zhou Ping was very patient and continued drawing the talisman.

Two, three.
After a night, Zhou Ping's eyes were bloodshot.

He drew more than a hundred runes that night. Although he knew the strokes by heart and imitated them quite well, the light that should have appeared when the rune was successful did not appear.

There was only a little cinnabar left, and a dozen or so sheets of yellow paper left.

The total cost of cinnabar and yellow paper is five hundred coins.

Zhou Ping couldn't help but sigh, poor in literature and rich in martial arts. Practicing Taoism also requires money, friends, and Dharma, which are indispensable.

Half a tael of silver was spent overnight, and several hundred taels of silver suddenly felt like it was not enough.

As daybreak approached, Zhou Ping felt sleepy and fell asleep.

Since he stopped escorting goods, Zhou Ping has been sleeping during the day and practicing martial arts and magic at night.

It is quieter at night and more conducive to practicing.

Moreover, it is safer to sleep during the day without having to worry about being disturbed by ghosts.

After waking up, Zhou Ping went to buy 500 coins of cinnabar and yellow paper.

Zhou Ping walked along, thinking: The talisman for killing ghosts is almost exactly the same as the original picture, so why is it useless?
"boom."

Zhou Ping suddenly pinched a wooden flying bird with his two fingers.

At the same time, there were originally three “Telepathic Finger” on the panel, but it suddenly became two!
Zhou Ping was distracted just now, so he didn't even notice the wooden plane flying very slowly.

The moment the wooden plane hit Zhou Ping, it was resolved by Lingxi's finger.

With a flick of his finger, one was missing.

A thousand horses were galloping through Zhou Ping's heart.

"Uncle, I'm sorry, my wooden bird hit you."

A little girl said timidly.

The little girl looked only five or six years old, and was as pretty as a delicate piece of jade.

Zhou Ping let out a long sigh. People have already apologized to you, are you going to beat them up?
What's more, she is a little girl.

Zhou Ping was filled with regret. Forget it, he could only blame himself for being so absorbed in drawing talismans that he could not extricate himself.

"Little girl, be careful next time and don't bump into anyone."

Zhou Ping returned the wooden bird to the little girl.

"Fly, fly, I'm going to be my wooden bird and fly up to the sky."

The little girl got the wooden bird and ran away happily.

"How can a wooden bird fly? It's not an airplane."

Zhou Ping sneered.

Zhou Ping laughed for a while, then suddenly thought of something and ran wildly.

When he got home, he spread out the yellow paper and dipped his pen in cinnabar.

Zhou Ping closed his eyes and grasped the inspiration he had just received.

"In the previous life, airplanes were modeled after flying birds. This rune definitely didn't come out of thin air. There must have been a first person or other creature who saw something and drew this rune."

Zhou Ping's experience in his previous life allowed him to look outside the box when looking at something.

Everything has a source!
"This rune can't be too round here, nor too square here."

“They should be made to look more natural.”

Zhou Ping's mind moved, and he drew a rune on the yellow paper.

With the last stroke of the brush, the entire yellow paper emitted a green light.

In the yard, the ghost baby was lying on Xiao Bai's back and playing happily. As Zhou Ping drew the ghost-killing talisman, the ghost baby felt a tremor in his soul, as if he had encountered a natural enemy. The ghost baby suddenly rolled off Xiao Bai's back and started crying loudly, as if he had suffered a great injustice.

Xiaobai was turning around in circles at a loss, thinking he had done something wrong.

Zhou Ping looked at the talisman in his hand and didn't get excited. Instead, he drew a few more.

Only one of the five yellow talismans was ruined, the others all emitted green light when they were finally put to paper.

Eighty percent success rate.

"So this is a rune. The so-called rune is also a pattern."

"The text follows the patterns of the heaven and earth here."

“Learn from heaven and earth.”

Zhou Ping muttered to himself.

"Learn from your natural enemy, this is magic!"

The moment Zhou Ping realized it, he heard another familiar shattering sound in his body.

Taoism, tenth grade!
……

At night, Zhou Ping came to see Uncle Bo as usual. However, Zhou Ping was not going to tell him that he could already draw the talisman to defeat ghosts, and that he had realized the tenth level of Taoism by drawing the talisman!

Just like Uncle Lame said, don’t tell others about your cultivation level, even your closest people.

When Zhou Ping arrived at the escort agency, he happened to meet Uncle Lame who was about to go out.

Uncle Lame looked anxious and happy.

"Uncle Lame, is there something wrong?"

Zhou Ping asked curiously. He had never seen Uncle Lame behave like this.

"Xiaoyanzi will be back in the next two days. I'm going to wait for her."

Uncle Lame packed a bunch of things, including food and drinks.

"Uncle Lame, let me help you."

Zhou Ping helped Uncle Lame move the things onto the carriage.

"Zhou Ping, if you have nothing to do, come with me."

"okay."

Zhou Ping had nothing to do, so he worked as a groom for Uncle Bo. However, on the way to the county town, Zhou Ping bought several pots of wine and some meat.

These days are Laba Festival, and Chinese New Year will come in a few days. The weather is very cold.

The two men sat in the carriage, waiting at the city gate.

Zhou Ping was also very curious about what the beautiful young escort leader looked like.

Is it a strong back and strong waist? Or is it a pair of exaggerated pectoral muscles that are so big that I can’t even move them.

Winter nights are very cold.

Zhou Ping tucked in his clothes and poured wine for the two of them.

Uncle Lame seemed not to feel the cold, and he dragged his lame leg around the city gate again and again.

This wait lasted until nightfall of the next day.

At the city gate, a group of people wearing escort agency uniforms were seen from afar.

"Back, back."

Uncle Lame tapped his cane excitedly, like an old man waiting at the village entrance who hadn't seen his children for years.

Zhou Ping got off the carriage and waited beside Uncle Lame.

After a while, a tall beauty appeared. She was wearing silver-black armor and had very long legs. Under the armor that was not even knee-length, she showed her plump and strong legs.

Yan Yi, the young master of the Yan Family Escort Agency.

This leg can be used for fun for a lifetime! Zhou Ping thought to himself.

"Uncle Lame."

Yan Yi fell from the horse with a beautiful side kick.

When Yan Yi dismounted from the horse, Zhou Ping couldn't help but lower his head slightly.

"But I'm back."

"How many days can I stay this time?"

"It's winter, and you still have your thighs exposed. I sewed you a pair of wool leggings."

Uncle Lame took out two white fluffy leggings from the carriage and put them on Yan Yi.

"Uncle Lame, I'm not cold."

Yan Yi was somewhat reluctant, but still obediently put on the short leggings.

"Uncle Lame, let me introduce you to a friend. This is Fan Shiyi, from the capital. She is a Confucian fourth-rank scholar."

Yan Yi introduced.

Uncle Lame and Zhou Ping's eyes turned to Fan Shiyi.

Fan Shiyi followed the escort agency all the way to Qinghe County. Her purpose was indeed to find Zhou Ping, but she followed the escort team to pick up girls.

If it weren't for Yan Yi, Fan Shiyi would have to travel and play along the way, and it would probably take a year to reach Qinghe County.

Yan Yi is very different from the girls in the capital. Not only is her temperament different, but more importantly, she is not interested in Fan Shiyi.

Along the way, Fan Shiyi showed off in various ways, but Yan Yi had no interest in Fan Shiyi. This made Fan Shiyi, who was like a fish in water among women, feel frustrated.

Yan Yi is a warrior and has no interest in Confucianism.

Although Fan Shiyi was a fourth-rank official, he was a Confucian.

This is like the literary and artistic circles and the sports circles, everyone is very famous in their respective fields, but they look down on each other.

Yan Yi's coldness towards Fan Shiyi made Fan Shiyi chase her all the way, so he arrived in Qinghe County in just over a month.

The moment Zhou Ping saw Fan Shiyi, he was stunned.

Fan Shiyi is extremely handsome.

Zhou Ping felt a rare sense of shame.
First sight, the rest of life.

At second glance, Zhou Ping of Yanjia Escort Agency in Qinghe County wants to spend his life with you.

The third eye, boys!!!

Zhou Ping confirmed several times in a row that Fan Shiyi did have an Adam's apple.

"She has a female body and a male figure. She is a wealthy person."

Uncle Lame couldn't help but admire him. He rarely praised others.

"I have a friend who wants to know where the brothel is in Qinghe County?"

When Fan Shiyi arrived in Qinghe County, she finally couldn't help herself. In the past month, in order to maintain her image in Yan Yi's eyes, she had not been to a brothel once.

But along the way, Fan Shiyi clearly realized: if you are in a different circle, there is no need to force yourself to fit in.

Fan Shiyi needs to find a sense of existence in a familiar field.

"Men, none of them are good."

Yan Yi's words hit everyone hard.

"No, there are still good things, Uncle Lame is it."

Yan Yi said while hugging Uncle Lame's arm.

"No, no, Uncle Lame is a piece of shit."

"Oh, oh, that's not right either."

"Why am I so dumb with my mouth?"

Yan Yi felt annoyed.

"Okay, okay, I am whatever Xiaoyanzi says I am."

Uncle Lame felt heartbroken.

"Zhou Ping, take this young man to the brothel."

"Yes, Uncle Lame."

Zhou Ping took Fan Shiyi and parted ways with Uncle Lame Yan Yi.

Along the way, people on the roadside pointed and talked at Fan Shiyi.

Fan Shiyi was so handsome that he could not only kill women but also men.

"The people in Mo are like jade, and the young master is unparalleled in the world."

These two sentences suddenly popped up in Zhou Ping's mind, and he couldn't help but whisper them.

Zhou Ping really couldn't remember many verses of poetry, but some verses were like muscle memory, such as "Quiet Night Thoughts", which had been passed down orally since childhood.

There are also some poems that are hidden deep in Zhou Ping's mind, and he can think of them when he is moved by the scene.

"The people in Mo are like jade, and the young master is unparalleled in the world."

Fan Shiyi savored this sentence carefully.

"If you can speak, please speak more. I love to listen."

Fan Shiyi smiled brightly.

"I can't think of anything else."

Zhou Ping smiled awkwardly and glanced at his shoulder.

On his shoulder, a small green snake as thick as a finger was stretching out its tongue, which licked Zhou Ping's face.

Zhou Ping's scalp suddenly felt tingling!

(End of this chapter)