Crusader Kings: Prisoners of War.

Chapter 92 The Emperor of Fun

Vespa was not a serious person in most situations, and often played jokes on his subordinates that were not in keeping with his status. Many such stories are recorded in the Lives of the Twelve Roman Emperors.

When he was traveling between cities, the coachman suddenly stopped to shoe the horses (which can be simply understood as changing the horseshoes and trimming the hooves). A litigant took this opportunity to approach the emperor to discuss something, but Vespa ignored him at first and started arguing with the coachman on the spot.

The emperor seriously discussed with the coachman how much bribes he had received for this behavior, and then asked himself to collect taxes from these bribes.

One of his servants lied that a man was his brother and hoped to find him a position as steward. Vespa asked the servant to wait for a while. He used this time to meet the applicant and asked the applicant to give him the money promised to the recommender. Then, he immediately hired the applicant as steward.

When the servant brought up the matter again, Vespa said directly: "Go find another brother! The man you think is your brother is my brother."

Even when Vespa was dying, he still had a weird sense of humor. When he felt that he was about to die, he said: "Alas! I think I am becoming a god."

His mentality was so surprisingly good that after learning about this, Vespa didn't care at all and instead laughed along.

"Is she really that beautiful?! That's a pity. If only I were 39 years younger, I would definitely want to have a try at her beauty. Forget about being 59. I'd be exhausted if I went to Alexandria again. I wouldn't be able to adapt to the climate there and it would be quite uncomfortable."

Orville didn't dare to be as reckless as Vespa. Vespa was the emperor and the father, and he was the subject and the son, so he had to be careful with his words.

So he could only laugh awkwardly and boast: "I still think you are still strong and healthy. You can live another 20 years without any problem. You still have time to enjoy women, food, money and power. This is a gift to the master of the world. This is the gift that the ruler deserves."

Vespa smiled and took a step closer to Orville. His mouth was still grinning, but his eyes were extremely serious. A gleam of light flashed in his cloudy eyes: "Twenty years? Why do I feel like it's not even that long? How many years do you think it should be?"

Orville's smile froze immediately. After a few seconds of silence, he chose to tell the truth: "Ten years."

Vespa's slightly tense body gradually relaxed, and he immediately revealed a smile that seemed to come from the heart: "Yes, ten years are enough, ten years are enough, hahaha! By the way, let me tell you another secret, don't tell Domitia or Tia, and it's better not to tell Zenis..."

Orville listened attentively. He was really curious about the content, as it was the emperor's secret.

"In fact, I also have mistresses outside, ranging in age from 20 to 40 years old, but I never bring these women home or attend public events with them. Sometimes I tell Tia that I have to tour the city. Although I do these things, I also do something else occasionally." Vespa gave Orville a look that said you know what I mean. Orville had never felt that his godfather was so wretched.

"He's still strong as ever, hahahaha..."

Orville could only continue to laugh awkwardly. This time, Vespa seemed to be really happy about the compliment and started laughing as well. The huge reception room was filled with the two people's laughter with completely different emotions.

When Vespa had almost finished laughing, he began to regulate his breathing by taking a deep breath. His health was not very good. Unlike the Syrian governor Mucinus, who was considered an iron man, that man was really strong and healthy, while Vespa was an old man in every sense. After pausing for about two minutes, he continued, "Okay, let's talk about formal matters. Since you got the money from the Egyptian princess, I wanted to share some of the bribes that the eunuch Berdinus gave me with my son, but it seems that you already have money, so I kept the money for myself.

Sometimes you have to respect the briber's opinion. I think Berdinus definitely doesn't want me to give you the money, but you and the Egyptian princess are planning how to chop off his head.

As for the matter between you and the Egyptian princess, I don't know about it for now, and I will write to Curio (the governor of Egypt) to let him know. But if you do things cleanly, I will cover for you if you are caught, but the Senate is not so easy to fool. Once they make a big deal, I can't guarantee that I won't abandon the rook to save the king, and then send you to some bitter cold place or something like that.

You must have your own reasons for doing things, and there is no need for me to ask about everything. It is too tiring to live like this, and my energy does not allow it. But you also remember that as long as you do things for the sake of the Roman Empire, I will always be your real father, this is for sure. "

Orville wanted to explain more, but was stopped by Vespa. He said that he was exhausted and needed to rest. He sent Orville back without letting him say anything more.

…………

Overall, Orville was quite satisfied with the ending and was even quite moved.

Vespa did not consider himself an outsider. He told the truth about everything and even tolerated some of his more dangerous actions. To put it mildly, Orville's case was arms trafficking, and to put it seriously, it was a threat to national security. It was also contrary to the decisions of the Senate and the emperor. From the emperor's perspective, this was already very generous and tolerant.

Of course, the premise of all these things is that Orville has a good attitude, and this matter is basically under Vespa's supervision, so that he can let Orville do things with confidence, which is good for both parties and avoids some unnecessary suspicion.

With the emperor's nod, the Senate can just keep it a secret. Orville is very clear about his position. He is a man sent by the emperor. Other fence-sitters may have the possibility of switching camps, but he has no possibility at all.

With the tacit approval of the Emperor and the Governor of Egypt, and with Orville's own fleet and the Palphi royal family providing cover, the risk of exposure is almost zero. Even if it is exposed, it will be a long, long time in the future, so there is no need to worry about it for now.

After making sure that the matter could be accomplished, Orville began to receive gold, silver and jewelry from Ptolemy, which was a little different from what he had imagined.

Ptolemy brought only thirty or so followers with him. In the era of metal currency, they could not bring much stuff with them. Each of them secretly stuffed about three kilograms of gold and jewelry in the lower layer of their bags. Because gold was too heavy, the gold coins Ptolemy brought were equivalent to about 100,000 dinars, which was not a lot of money and could not be used for any serious business.

But in addition to this, he also brought a lot of jewelry, which was the private collection of the Ptolemaic royal family. These things are priceless treasures.

Ptolemaic Egypt was the successor of Alexander. Their royal collection included precious treasures from Greece, Persia, Egypt and other places. The wealthy Roman nobles would certainly be willing to pay a large sum of money in exchange for these treasures. The problem now was how to get rid of these things.

PS. I understand that Vespasian’s character is just like this. Normal people would not keep accounts with their servants about “Vespasian’s passionate love affairs”. Roman historians also said that he was “overly keen on jokes and low tastes”. When a certain officer was predicted to become emperor, he directly said “That’s a good feeling” and promoted that person.
So at least I don't think it ruins the character, at most it's a little dramatic (stacked armor to avoid controversy).

(End of this chapter)