Coquettish Rebirth

"Welcome to the 77th and final Academy Awards! I love this year's Oscars. Did you know that 4 black practitioners were nominated for this year's Oscars? This year's Oscars are simply black Oscar!" On the stage, the black host Cross-Rock said so in a black-flavored accent.Indeed, there are indeed few black people nominated for this year's Oscars, at least compared with their population in the United States and the number of black actors in Hollywood actors, it is not qualified, so such a statement may be regarded as a kind of irony Or laugh at it.

After such an opening, he quickly began to talk about "business". "Do you still remember the feeling when you watched movies when you were young? Anyway, at that time, I thought that every movie was so beautiful and wonderful, it was like the essence of human art! But when I grow up, I will watch these The movie, huh...it sucks!" After Locke told such a joke, the atmosphere of the scene immediately heated up, and he will continue to tell jokes, and continue to heat up the atmosphere of the entire venue .So I just listened to him say: "I like Oscars, do you know why I like Oscars? Because Oscars is the only awards ceremony where the winners don't have to perform after winning the award! At the music award Grammy, the winners have to sing. At the Tony Awards, the highest award for musicals and dramas, the winners not only have to sing, but also dance! And the Soth Awards are even more exaggerated, the winners not only have to sing and dance, but also shoot!"

Such a joke really made the scene full of laughter, but the host Locke didn't give up at such a time. He then said: "In our Oscar? There is absolutely no performance, not a little bit! What won't you come to a Shakespeare drama An excerpt, to perform a choice between life and death? No! After winning the award, there will be a performance of Morgan Freeman's shampoo commercial? No! We don't have any performances! If you have to say it, the performance is not The winners are performing, but the performances of the losers! When the losers don’t win the award themselves, they are obviously so disappointed that they die, but in the end they forcefully smile and act as if they are very happy. This is simply too artistic! I remember One year, Halle Berry won the Oscar for Best Actress, and then Nicole Kidman was a competitor with her. When it was announced that Halle Berry won the award, Nicole Kidman smiled happily, Looks happier than she is! Nicole Kidman deserves an Oscar for this performance, if I ask you! So Nicole, if you acted in your movie If you could have your level at the Oscars, you would have been an Oscar queen long ago!"

Hearing this, almost everyone at the scene laughed!That's right, in the United States, many things are actually the same as in China.Even though everyone is clearly disappointed that they did not win the award, on such an occasion, everyone still has to show grace, congratulate others, and say that it is only right for others to win the award... Are these things hypocrisy?Maybe, but all human beings know that this is necessary, otherwise if you are too hard-edged, you will have no friends at all!However, there are still differences between China and the United States. For example, it is not appropriate to openly tease someone in China, but it is okay in the United States.Such a host is not very familiar with Nicole Kidman, and then in such a formal occasion, he made fun of Nicole Kidman, and then Nicole Kidman had to clap her hands in a graceful manner, applauding and laughing, this is American customs.

As a result, after teasing Nicole Kidman here, the host started molesting Jia Hongjian and the people around him insanely—"There are really a lot of bad movies this year, and I basically watched all the movies this year." , Then I watched some films and I really felt... Dude, can you make money by making movies like this? Really! Everyone is a filmmaker, I really want to say a word to the director or producer, sometimes I can’t find actors Okay, don’t rush to shoot! You want to find Tom Cruise, but he has no schedule, so you can only find Tom Hanks. Although Tom Hanks is also very good, these two people are completely different Type! You let Tom Hanks play the role of Tom Cruise... Can you not pay for this film? Besides, for a historical drama of ancient Greece, it would be great to find Crowe Russell. I think Crowe Russell is an actor. You should contract all the protagonists of the history department in this country! At this time, you can’t find Crowe Russell, but you can find a supporting actor like Colin Farrell who played opposite Tom Cruise in "Minority Report". No way! Similarly, if you want to shoot a martial arts comedy, then you have to find Cheng Long, you have to find Jia Hongjian... He can be a director, but if you let him be an actor, he will definitely make your show miserable. What!"

Whoops, let me go, is Chi Guoguo looking down on our Jia Hongjian's acting skills?Let's go back and become an actor to prove ourselves with the box office and slap him in the face!At that time, Jia Hongjian thought about it with a smile, but he was just thinking about it. After all, it was just a joke.But speaking of which, such a master of ceremonies in the Oscar this time really talks a lot!Now we have talked about the 3-minute opening, and he is still talking non-stop!It seems that I am going to gather all the words of other people's three or four Oscars into one and finish it! "I think this year's Oscars are a bit disappointing. There are some good films that have not been nominated, such as "Fahrenheit 911/[-]". Well, you are all cheering. Do you think this film is very good? I think so too It's a good movie, but it's a pity that it didn't get any Oscar nominations..."

At this point, the master of ceremonies wisely chose to end the topic!That's right, on the occasion of Oscar, although it seems to show all kinds of justice and fairness, Oscar is a bit politically inclined!Why does Oscar always kneel and lick the US government!Maybe Fahrenheit 911/911 can be released, but if this film wins any awards or even any nominations at the Oscars, this is causing trouble for the Oscars!Everyone knows such an unspoken rule, and everyone knows it at the same time, this matter cannot be explained too clearly!It’s almost the end of the story, and it’s okay to talk about it as a pity. If you start to criticize the Oscars for not allowing Fahrenheit [-] to go to [-] for political reasons... Huh, this person will never even think about going to any Oscars ceremony in the future!

So such a master of ceremonies quickly changed the topic-"Hmph, I think the director Michael Moore must be pissed off at home now, he might think he's making "Fahrenheit 911/911", like Morgan Spur Locke went to McDonald's to eat junk food for a month, and then made himself fat, so it would be great to shoot "Super Size Me"! It was shocking and effective! And what about Michael Moore, he criticized Bush Jr. As a result... Wait, you think I want to criticize Bush Jr.? Good idea! I don’t criticize Bush Jr. today! In fact, I think Bush Jr. is very powerful! Why? Because I think what Bush Jr. is doing is what we are doing now All the people present couldn’t do it! Just think about it, Bush Jr. is running for re-election this year, and half a year before the election, a movie like Fahrenheit [-]/[-] suddenly broke out, criticizing him wildly. Think about it if you This year you are going to apply for a job, but suddenly there is a movie that scolds you, and the scolding is known to the whole world. Under such circumstances, do you still have the courage to continue applying? You definitely feel that you are in big trouble! But Bush Jr. is different, He was very courageous, he dared to continue to apply, and then he really got his second term, isn't that amazing? It's amazing!"

Whoa!Listen, this is still a bit sarcasm!But people like Bush Jr. are good people!If it weren't for Bush Jr. rushing to attack Afghanistan and Iraq and relaxing the siege of China, would it have created such a good eight-year development opportunity for China?So from such a perspective, Jia Hongjian definitely wanted to speak well for Bush!Of course, now that we are in the territory of the Americans, we can just hold back and say nothing, and deliberately say good things about Bush Jr., but it is easy to attract too much attention.

It's been enough for such an emcee to talk nonsense for a long time, and then it's time to invite the award presenters, "Okay, okay, after talking so much, let's get to the point. Invite the award presenters of the next awards, She once won the Academy Award for Best Actress for "Embracing the Sunshine", and the next movie is about to be released, yes, it is "Catwoman 2" starring Halle Berry!"

As he spoke, the master of ceremonies walked from the left side of the stage to the backstage, and then the sets behind him opened to the left and right respectively, and then Halle Berry, a Hollywood actress with black pearls, walked away wearing a gray sexy dress with a dangling waist come out. "77 years ago, the first Oscar was produced according to the manuscript of the legendary art director and Edison's assistant Cedrian Gibbons, and today, I will present the first Oscar statuette of this year's Academy Awards. And such an award also happens to be the best art director award. Next... instead of letting everyone see the names and faces of five people on the big screen, we invite five groups of art directors and set designers to come on stage!"

Ten people came up from the backstage!These ten people are divided into five groups, each group is a pair of men and women, some are old and some are young, some are fat and some are thin.At this time, in line with the pictures on the big screen, Halle Berry began to introduce—"In "The Aviator", the art director Danti Ferretti and the set designer Francesca Lu Shiyaf They work together perfectly to create the world of a legend like Howard Hughes.” “In Finding Neverland, art director Gemma Jackson and set designer Peter Russell created the world behind Peter Pan. "In "Ramony Snicket," which owns Jim Carrey, we saw such a loss from art director Rick Heinrichs and set designer Cheryl Karasik. The thrilling story of three brothers and sisters who lost their parents in the house of greedy relatives..." "And in "The Long Engagement", the art director Ailin Boneteau wanted to shape the French scene after World War I. Of course, he The help of set designer Veronica Malorie was also indispensable."

Having said that, Halle Berry paused, and finally introduced a group of people-"Also in "The Bellucci Family War", we also passed the art director Andy Nicholson and the set designer Jenny- Fisher saw a real siege scene..."That's right!Jia Hongjian's film was also nominated for the award of Best Art Director! r1152

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