EVA: Shinji Ikari Returns from the Dragon Clan

Chapter 37 36. Paying Attention to Empty-Nester Ayanami Rei

Rei Ayanami sat on the sofa in a daze.

The whole apartment was lit with incandescent lights, without even a dark corner. The curtains that were usually closed were rarely completely opened. She looked out the window and saw the twinkling lights of the city, hazy as an illusion.

It's like the song is over and everyone is leaving.

After the dinner, everyone said goodbye to each other and left, only Shinji Ikari was the last one left.

After all, he also knows how to cook, and he knows that clearing the table and washing dishes are the most tiring parts, so he helped Ayanami wash the dishes before leaving. Seeing the girl looking into his eyes silently, Ikari Shinji smiled and said proudly, "You're welcome."

"Goodbye, Ayanami."

There was a click and the door closed.

He left too.

Now, it was completely empty. The apartment had returned to its previous lonely atmosphere, and I was alone again.

This inexplicable feeling is annoying.

Rei Ayanami thought.

She quietly hid it in the corner of her heart so that no one could find it.

The feeling of loneliness was so unpleasant that she seemed to have returned to the time when she first became conscious.

There.

It's a dark and small place.

In that vague memory and the fantasy that came to mind countless times in the middle of the night, there were countless girls with blue hair and red eyes with exactly the same face, floating like corpses in the orange-red liquid, making the place look like a ghost town. I'm afraid that anyone who went there for the first time would be scared.

Cloning...

Is this the term you learned in the biology textbook?
Rei Ayanami is not completely unaware of the fact that she is not a normal person. After discovering her origins, she began to learn biological knowledge. The clone is naturally seeking the meaning of her own existence.

Humans are really very strange creatures.

Many different emotions will arise, and your mood will change due to the different tastes of food.

She has experienced all of this recently, but she is completely unable to understand it the same way as normal humans, nor can she do the same things as normal humans. She can only act according to what her heart most desires.

Cooking.

The taste is completely different from the capsule medicines I have taken so far.

It was delicious, very tasty, and once she tasted it, it was like opening Pandora's box, which could never be closed again. So much so that she sometimes wanted to escape from those tasteless things like a naughty child.

But no.

Only by taking those medicines can I ensure that my body does not collapse.

These beautiful things do not belong to her, and she is just greedy for them for a moment, but no matter what, just like a fish cannot leave water, she cannot leave her original place.

meat.

Hate meat.

This reminds people of the bloody scenes in the dreams. In the dreams, those fellow creatures who were soaking in liquid in the jars, when they cut the meat texture with a kitchen knife, it was as if they were cutting their own meat; when they chewed, it was as if they were chewing their own meat. The empty stomach was filled with nausea and they wanted to vomit.

Are humans a pitiful creature that cannot survive without eating other creatures?

She thought calmly.

Rei Ayanami turned off all the lights and closed the curtains.

The whole apartment became dark again. Only this kind of environment was familiar to her. This apartment where she had hosted everyone for dinner was gradually becoming a place she was not used to, an unfamiliar place. It seemed difficult for humans to step out of their comfort zone, and she was no exception. But Rei Ayanami felt that she could only survive in such a small and dark place. She lay flat on the bed as usual, staring at the white ceiling quietly with her inhuman bright red eyes. "Welcome back."

She suddenly talked to herself.

This sentence is less awkward than when it was first said, and has become much more fluent. After returning from the hospital, Ayanami Rei was still thinking about this matter. She knew that when someone said "I'm back", she should answer with this sentence.

When I said this, I seemed a little happy.

Unfortunately, when I talk to myself, I don’t feel any change in my mood. It turns out that only when I talk to others can there be any change.

This feeling towards Ikari-kun.

It's subtly different from what I say to Commander Ikari, to Misato Katsuragi, Ritsuko Akagi, and to everyone else.

But at the moment she couldn't tell the difference at all.

She thought back to not long ago.

During the startup experiment of Unit 0.

What was seen from the cockpit after the failed start was Commander Ikari's extremely worried expression. He was so anxious that he didn't even care about his glasses falling off. His hands were even injured from trying to pry open the scalding hot cockpit door.

That was the first time someone cared about me.

That worried expression even made her think that the person who was saved was not her, but the other person.

I am very different from those who are exactly the same as me. I am needed by others and I am special. However, apart from the bond with everyone, as a clone, I have nothing.

Obviously, Commander Ikari was also invited to this meal, but when he heard that he was going to have dinner with Ikari-kun, he immediately refused without any hesitation. At that time, Commander Ikari suddenly became distant from me, while at this time, Ikari-kun, who was having dinner with everyone, suddenly became very close to me. As expected, Dr. Akagi did not come either. This meal for everyone was still a little incomplete for me.

But everyone was very happy.

happy……

Do humans smile when they are happy? She seemed to be happy too. However, Rei Ayanami stood up and looked at the mirror. The girl in the mirror still had an expressionless face, like a puppet. How could she smile? She tried to obey her mood, but she could only pull out an ugly expression, which was not a smile at all.

so hard.

I can't smile naturally at all.

She unconsciously looked towards the door of the apartment, where someone had just left.

Ikari-kun.

It's very strange.

He often smiles and says things I can't understand on the way to and from school. Why does he want to talk to me?

Is it also because of the identity of the driver?
He would talk about school and headquarters on the way, and would ask how she was doing recently. He seemed very talkative, but sometimes, she would see his lonely eyes looking at the sky in the distance. She always felt that kind of look in her eyes inexplicably. She didn't know why, even though she was a clone with no meaning of existence, she always felt that she and Ikari were the same kind of people.

"It seems like I have always been protected..."

She has been protected since the first apostle. It is her responsibility to pilot the EVA to resist the apostles. If she doesn't do this, the bond with everyone will not exist and clones will have no place to survive in this world. Instead of letting an untrained pilot like her take the field,

Next time, when the apostles attack, we must fight side by side.

she thinks.

Then he smiled and said,
——Welcome back.

Thanks to Bai Xianxian, Kuli Qiang, Akali is really fun, Shaolin Overseas Office Qingfeng Taoist, Book Friend 20220603231808459, and Zhizheng for their monthly tickets. Tomorrow is Tuesday, please read it. As long as it helps me pass the level, I can do anything!

I recently watched the MyGo anime, and the gravity scene may or may not appear later. I won't mention the famous lines here.
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(End of this chapter)