The Spirit World

Chapter 232 People who always think about others always forget to think about themselves.

I was scared by Lin'er.

To be honest, Lin'er wanted to "protect me" so ardently that I felt flattered, but also a little worried.

Obviously I couldn't agree to her, because I knew clearly that during that period of time, I would have to leave Lin'er for a while, and Lin'er couldn't stay by my side all the time.

She and I both need time to be alone.

Or rather, her concern was too self-centered and frightened me.

First, I cannot be good all the time, and second, I cherish this relationship so much, but I don’t want to possess it.

I must explain it clearly to Lin'er, there cannot be any mistakes.

But when the words came to my lips, I could only stare at Lin'er, looking into her eyes quietly.

Her eyes were big and bright, giving me a sense of excitement that I had never felt before. It seemed like I had never looked Lin'er in the eye before.

Or in other words, I never cared about her thoughts at all, and I don’t need to blame myself for not caring about her that much, because emotionally and logically, she can only be considered my friend.

Even though I have such complicated feelings towards her.

There was a concern and pleading in her eyes, her smart pupils were flashing, and I saw my own face in her big watery eyes.

I just have the face of a twelve-year-old child, very childish, with a little bit of baby fat on my face, and my blond-white hair blown by the wind.

I smelled the floral scent on Lin'er's body, which was the scent of my family's body lotion. Women are really magical creatures. As a man, I use the same body lotion, but I don't have that scent on my body at all.

I was very glad that I didn't smell of sweat. Lin'er was close to me, almost pressing her whole body against me. She was eager to get my answer.

Let me be protected by her.

I smelled the fragrance of the flowers, looked into her eyes, and showed some embarrassment.

"Lin'er..."

But before I could say anything, Lin'er sat up straight and lowered her head.

"Is it still not possible? Lin'er, I just want to protect Brother Yufeng... I know Brother Yufeng is very powerful... But, it would be even better if I could stay with Brother Yufeng and protect him."

There was actually some sobbing in her voice.

My mind was completely confused about what was going on. I was busy explaining something, but then I heard Lin'er sobbing again. I had no choice but to listen to her murmurs.

Her hairpin is also a beautiful butterfly. The purple halo can sway in the sunlight even under the shadow, attracting my eyes.

I looked at Lin'er's long hair hanging on her shoulders, revealing her fair neck vaguely, and also, the little ear peeking out from the end of her hair.

Like a sobbing cat, choking and stammering.

"I just want to protect Brother Yufeng... Is it not enough to just ask for this? If I don't protect Brother Yufeng... I... I..."

She said "I" again and again.

I thought her next sentence would be about me, not herself.

"Lin'er, it's not what you think!"

I put my hands on the step where I was sitting and tried to stay calm instead of reaching out to pat Lin'er's back to comfort her.

I couldn't have too close contact with Lin'er. After all, although I was indeed twelve years old, I couldn't use my age as an excuse to touch Lin'er.

No matter how much I have been through, I am a [traveler] and I am always in a [dominant position] when interacting with people of my age.

I know much more than them.

I must keep my distance from any children of the opposite sex, so that I can ensure that I don't use my strengths of experience and maturity to gain something.

Whether it's money or physical intimacy, I need to avoid it.

After all, I'm not a pervert.

No matter how beautiful Lin'er is, I must keep my distance.

I cannot guarantee that every child is ignorant of physical intimacy, but as for me, I definitely understand that I need to keep a distance from any opposite sex of the same age.

This dominant position, when there is a huge disparity in status and occupation, is often the main reason why bullying can be successful.

I can acknowledge Lin'er's beauty, but I cannot indulge myself in my cognitive behavior as an adult male just because Lin'er is too dependent on me.

This is also why I am afraid.

Lin'er was so afraid of losing me that she came all the way from Mount Prajnaprajna to be with me, wanting to protect me. In this dangerous world, this girl's sincerity was so warm and real.

My heart was surging with ups and downs, and my heart was filled with such pure and beautiful feelings for Lin'er.

I had to make some compromises, or rather, I needed to do something for Lin'er.

"Lin'er, of course I can let you protect me!"

I said this, attracting Lin'er's attention.

I feel very strange now. I don’t know what countermeasure I should think of. Instead, Xun Huangying made a sound and looked at me in confusion.

He couldn't understand what I was saying either.

Lin'er turned around, and I smelled the floral scent on her again. Her hairpin seemed to have flown away from my sight.

Purple phantom, so beautiful.

The swinging of her hair, which was fastened by hairpins, distracted me again.

My mind went blank, although I really couldn't think of any good solution or reason.

"But, I need to ask my current client first. You see, he gave me an important commission, but I didn't tell him that I had someone who wanted to protect me. This might lead to... well, how should I put it, others might think I was deceiving him."

What I said makes sense, at least in my opinion.

Lin'er is reasonable after all.

But if I really left Lin'er at home for a month or two, I must have been stupid or demented. So, I continued, "Lin'er, I will attend the banquet set by the client tomorrow. At the banquet, I will frankly state everything about me. If he feels deceived because I need to bring someone with me, then I will refuse this commission. How...?"

I said it all in one go, and was very glad that I became calmer as I spoke. I thought Lin'er would understand my difficulties.

That’s true.

I was just a chosen guide.

If Rosades thought that he had only recruited me as a guide and would not allow Lin'er to go with him, but I insisted on taking Lin'er with me, then I would definitely be suspected of deceiving Rosades.

Finally, if I terminate the commission, all Rosades' hard work today will be in vain, and I will definitely offend Rosades, and even my guide career will be affected and end early.

The worst outcome would be that the little reputation I had accumulated would be destroyed, and I would no longer be able to receive commissions from nobles like Rosades.

Viscount is the second rank of nobility, one level higher than having a peerage. Rosades is not someone a fool like me can afford to offend.

"Tomorrow?"

Lin'er asked me.

She did shed tears, but I really don’t think Lin’er would shed tears or cry. But I also don’t think Lin’er can’t be sentimental.

She is just a girl.

Worry makes one confused, and she is so anxious for me. I can understand that Lin'er cares about me so much. Maybe I am the only person she knows in this world.

She has always been a good child who is very friendly to everyone. Although she can be friendly to everyone, when it comes to those whom she considers to be "friends or relatives", her level of concern is no longer friendliness, but a kind of immeasurable kinship.

I am very much like her.

Suddenly there are a few people in this world who are different from others, and suddenly I will unconsciously treat these people as different from others in this world.

They are so good to me, but I am not good enough to them.

This special feeling of debt is a sense of responsibility and sincerity that forces me to think about what I just said.

Will Lin'er think I'm rejecting her?
Or am I just being stubborn?
"Well, tomorrow, if I have the chance, I will tell Rosades about this matter."

"Rosades?"

"My client, this is a commission worth 10,000 gold coins."

"Ten thousand gold coins, is that a lot?"

"Yes. Ten thousand gold coins, a pile high enough for all of us."

"..."

Lin'er didn't ask any more questions, but I started to talk nonstop.

I seemed to understand that Lin'er really cared about me too much. She didn't want me to get hurt, nor did she want me to lose this important commission.

Then, it seemed that she had to compromise.

Yes, I suddenly realized that I was feeling frustrated forcing Lin'er to compromise.

She was so good to me, she was sobbing because she wanted to protect me, and she was so anxious to protect a weak guy like me.

She doesn't want to lose me...

"This time tomorrow I will make my case to Rosades, my client."

I repeated it.

"If possible, Lin'er will come with me to complete this commission, and you will stay by my side to protect me, how about that?"

I can't say what would have happened if Rosades hadn't allowed it.

Because I feel that if I tell it, it will hurt Lin'er.

I am more mature and I must understand Lin'er's feelings. Lin'er must be very sad now. I feel a little guilty and I can't say anything.

I didn't say anything else. I felt Lin'er's emotions fluctuate. She no longer looked at me, but turned her profile to me.

I saw her profile again. It was a beautiful face, white, tender and shiny under the interweaving of sun and shadow, so beautiful beyond words.

I calmed down and waited for Lin'er's answer.

I had a feeling that I had to say something, but I didn't know what. I thought I was a thick-skinned man, except in front of Lin'er.

"If I may, I will speak to Mr. Rosades."

Lin'er suddenly spoke, which surprised me.

Lin'er chose the second solution.

I realized how much she wanted to protect me. Wherever there are shadow hunters, danger is not far away. Besides, the commissions I received were all about avoiding the dangers of shadow hunters.

The caravan is like a piece of delicious syrup, and the shadow hunters are like flies that smell the wind and never give up the opportunity to take a sip.

After Lin'er understood the concept of the commission, she knew clearly that I would be in danger as long as I set out from Wenti County, which was something she could not accept at all.

This is too dangerous for me who is powerless.

"I'll tell Mr. Rosades that I'm here to protect your friend. I must stay by your side."

Lin'er's mind worked very quickly, and when she was calm she was too smart for me to match. I could clearly feel that she was calculating something in her mind.

For example, me, herself, and the scene when they met Mr. Rosades, whom she had never seen before, and how she was going to respond.

"The commission from Mr. Rosades was accepted by the two of us. Otherwise, Brother Yufeng would be responsible for the task of being a guide, and I would be responsible for the additional protection of the things that Mr. Rosades wanted to transport."

I was a little dazed while listening to it.

Lin'er did find a reason to convince me.

This is feasible. I don't think Rosades would mind a free bodyguard. Besides, I know Lin'er's strength. If Lin'er changes her excuse from wanting to protect me to saying that she can protect Rosades and transport the goods together, it might work.

But, if that were the case, I’d find it difficult.

Because I am not sure I can get this commission. If Lin'er joins this commission as a free bodyguard, it would be unfair to Lin'er.

There is absolutely no need to do this for me.

But obviously Lin'er didn't think so.

She felt that this was natural. She had not yet been influenced by the rules of the adult world. She could do something that seemed difficult without asking for anything in return, just to protect me.

This incident may have exhausted her physically and mentally, or even left her with a bad reputation.

I had to wonder what she had been through. Besides the adventure of gaining power, had she been hurt? Did she shed tears? Or was there something more that I could not know.

I don't even dare to think about it.

Because I can't imagine the great injustice that a child with Lin'er's personality has suffered. How hurtful that would be?
I could even sense from the tears in Lin'er's eyes that something bad was going to happen, or had already happened.

I am very depressed.

I didn't happily tell Lin'er that this method worked, but I could only remain silent, which made me look very unhappy, and Lin'er became worried.

"What's wrong? Brother Yufeng? Isn't it possible?"

"No, Lin'er, the method you mentioned is indeed feasible. I think Rosades should accept it. This is not something unacceptable to him. Having you here will actually help him. But——"

"But what?"

"Lin'er, you should think about yourself... and not completely ignore your own feelings because of me."

"But Brother Yufeng...I..."

"Lin'er...we need to think about this matter carefully."

"Can……"

"Fuck! You two are hopeless—"

Xun Huangying hated beating around the bush so much that he couldn't help but pull the corners of his mouth and look at us helplessly.

"After all this nonsense, isn't there any progress at all?"

It was difficult for him to understand the sentiment of caring for others. He listened to the whole thing with his legs crossed, looking unhappy, and then he hummed in a low voice.

I am going to have to sleep on the street. Oh, it is really unpredictable.

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(End of this chapter)