From the end of the world

Chapter 233 Ma Zao's Fantasy

I finally told Ma Zao my true feelings.

With this sentence as a starting point, I confessed all the deceptions I had experienced since I met her, as well as my various entanglements and mental journeys. I even told her the truth about the red GPS bracelet and the plan to use the second bowl as a last-minute threat. These dark secrets were all revealed.

Of course, there are many other things that should not have been said. But since I have revealed my biggest secret, it would be dishonest to keep it to myself now. Since I have to expose myself, I should expose everything about myself, even my internal organs. In the final analysis, the reason why I want to be honest with Ma Zao is not only because the lies I have woven will be exposed sooner or later, but also because I can't stand the fact that I have lied to her so far. And now all this is a reckoning with my past.

After I finished speaking, I should wait for Ma Zao's judgment. Will she look down on me or forgive me? I couldn't know the answer in advance. The unknown anxiety seemed to have turned into a devil's hand and grabbed my heart. At the same time, I felt my whole body become lighter, as if the many heavy things pressing on my shoulders were finally lifted.

There is no turning back. No matter what response Ma Zao will give, I will face it head-on. Countless possibilities emerge in my mind, and I believe I am capable of bearing any of the consequences.

However, it turns out that I may have taken some things for granted.

After listening to my story, Ma Zao lowered her head and remained silent for a long time. I was looking forward to her reply. As long as it could break this unbearable silence, I would welcome even a scolding. However, her next reaction was beyond any of my imagination.

"Zhuang Cheng, you are comforting me, right?" she said sullenly.

"...What?" I was stunned.

Comfort... Which of my words just now contained any comfort? Subconsciously, I reviewed all the words I had said before. Then an inspiration came to my mind. I immediately realized that I might have made a huge misunderstanding in a crucial place.

"When you were talking to Fufeng before, Fufeng mentioned that you had been living a life completely isolated from strange events. After hearing those words, I thought that if you hadn't met me, you wouldn't have fallen to the point of being an enemy of the Great Impermanence. Even if the world becomes worse and worse, you might be able to continue to live a peaceful life in the future..." She said dejectedly, "To be honest, I was very sad at the time... I thought I had hidden it well. You saw through my thoughts, so you came to comfort me."

"Wait, that's not the case. I really want adventure... I want to be exposed to strange things, that's why I want to be with you." I said quickly.

"But how is this possible?" she said. "How is it possible that someone would give up a good life and pursue danger and weirdness?"

This is indeed hard to refute. Although it is a bit strange for me to say, I know very well how rare people like me are. There are many fools in this world who unconsciously seek their own death, but there are definitely not many people who know that there is a dangerous and desperate situation ahead but insist on going through it and regard it as a "hobby". The persuasiveness of this madman image is probably not as good as the "righteous and kind-hearted person" image I created for Ma Zao before.

Especially since Ma Zao was still living in the apocalyptic era, the most basic rule of survival is to stay away from danger and weirdness. People like me may not even survive a day. She may not even have heard of it, let alone seen it. The persuasiveness has to be reduced to another level.

I was so self-righteous, and my mind was full of myself. I thought that as long as I told the truth, Ma would take it seriously. If you think about it, you will understand that in this world, not only do you need to be persuasive to make people believe your lies, but you also need to be persuasive to make people believe your truth.

The real difficulty is actually in this place. Maybe this is the retribution for my lying too much in the past. The boy who cried wolf in the fairy tale lied too much, and no one believed him when he finally told the truth.

Fortunately, an idea suddenly occurred to me at this moment, and I immediately thought of a way to make Ma Zao believe me.

"Perhaps it is hard to believe that such a person exists in your opinion, but I really did not lie. If you are worried, you can ask Zhu Shi to help prove it. You also know that she has the ability to see through lies. I can teleport to her side now, and you can follow me. Then everything will come to light." I said.

"So that's how it is... Have you told Zhu Shi about this in advance? You asked her to cooperate with you..." she said in a complicated tone.

"No, it's not like that..." I said.

"But if this is not the case, wouldn't it be contradictory?" she said.

"Very contradictory?" I couldn't understand.

"Only bad things are bound to happen around me. I am a jinx who only attracts disasters and dangers." She said, "I have heard a saying in the past, that God has given me talents for a purpose... So I have also thought about it, even if I only attract bad things, maybe someone will need me...

"But even if there are people who need me, they won't need my side as a jinx. I can fight demons, repair items, and investigate intelligence. These are the parts of me that are worth using.

"But you told me that although I am a person who inexplicably attracts bad things, in another era and another place, there just happened to be a person who likes to encounter bad things one after another, and then I was very lucky to travel through time and space to the era when he lived, and I was very lucky to meet him... How could such a good thing happen to me?
"Zhuang Cheng, you don't care that I will attract danger and disaster, and you are willing to fight alongside me. I am very happy. For me, this is a good thing that can only happen in dreams, so..."

As she spoke the last part, she hugged her knees and curled up on the bed, her voice trembling, and anxiety and fear appeared on her face.

It was only then that I realized that the key to the problem might not be that my sincere words lacked persuasiveness. Even if what I just said was persuasive, maybe Ma Zao would not choose to believe me. Because she was afraid, she was afraid that someone could accept everything about her.

In her wandering life at the end of the world, she must have lost a lot of things and suffered a lot of harm. So now she is no longer afraid of loss and harm. What can really hurt her heart is not the misfortune that follows one after another, but luck.

Misfortune was not terrible in her eyes, because she knew how to face it. Only when she was immersed in the cold of misfortune could she find peace of mind. There, she did not need to worry about losing anything, because she had nothing to begin with. On the contrary, happiness would burn her. In her, peace of mind and happiness actually presented an opposing relationship.

For her, peace of mind is a state without fear.

And happiness is terrifying.

……

All in all, it seems that my attempt to express my sincerity this time ended in failure as expected.

What was unexpected was not the failure, but the form of failure. I even considered the possibility that I would not dare to speak the truth at the end, but I never thought about the possibility that Ma Zao would not dare to believe it.

I sat opposite Ma Zao.

"Ma Zao, what do you want me to do to make you believe me?" I said.

"I won't believe it. What you said is too far-fetched and impossible to happen." Ma Zao said firmly.

"So, what if it's hypothetical?" I asked.

"What if?" she asked.

"Suppose you really met such a person," I said.

"That assumption is not valid," she said without hesitation.

"Didn't you say before that someone was willing to fight alongside you? This is something that only happens in dreams. Since we are going to dream anyway, why not deepen our dreaming? Dreams don't require logic, and anything fantastic can happen." I said, "There are even divine seals in this world that can fulfill all wishes. You don't think that your unlucky physique can even overwhelm the power of divine seals, do you?"

I paused for a moment, then continued slowly: "If the divine seal suddenly made everything I said before come true...what would you think?"

"Divine Seal..."

She looked at me suspiciously at first, but under my persuasion, she slowly lowered her head, as if she was imagining the scene I described.

"If there really is such a person..." Her expression became dazed, "If there really is someone who can accept everything about me like that, then even if I have to sacrifice everything I have, I will..."

Then, as if she suddenly woke up from her imagination, she became very calm and continued, "...But how could there really be such a person? Even I have never dared to have such a convenient fantasy."

I'm so sorry, I'm just such a convenient person.

Also, you clearly thought about it just now.

I gradually calmed down and started thinking about how to make Ma Zao believe me. To be honest, I really had no idea. It is very easy to doubt something, just have a skeptical attitude. There is nothing in this world that cannot be doubted. But it is very difficult to thoroughly prove something.

It's not enough to just make my words sound true. I have to create a situation where Ma Zao can't deny it no matter what she does, so that she has no way to defend herself and can only believe that I am that person - the person who is willing to accept all her bad luck and misfortune and make her happy to the point of fear.

I want to fulfill her fantasy that she never even dared to think about.

(End of this chapter)