Da Tang: Father, can I resign?

Chapter 439 Even an IQ tax is a tax
As if guided by some strange force, Fang Yize reached out his hand towards the letter.

Snap! Another large hand suddenly grabbed his wrist.

"Don't touch it!"

Fang Yi turned around in astonishment.

Suddenly, Changsun Wuji appeared beside him, his expression serious, repeating each word carefully:

"No, don't touch it."

Behind his uncle, Fang Xuanling shook his head slightly and said calmly:

"Why aren't you leaving yet? You can't conjure up any money just by standing there dumbfounded in the study."

Although his father did not show any expression, Fang Yize inexplicably sensed a urging tone in his voice.

Having been immersed in this environment for so long, Xiao Fang could understand what the two elders were trying to say.

It's simply that the national treasury is empty, Huainan is in dire straits, and there's no money to spare for His Majesty Li Ming to squander.

Even though they hadn't read the contents of the letter, why did everyone assume that His Majesty had come to collect a debt?
In short, it all comes down to two words: experience.

If I haven't received the letter, I don't know anything; I'll just wait as long as I can.

Fang Yi couldn't help but twitch his lips slightly.

So this is what bureaucracy is all about. The way these two top bureaucrats play it coy is pretty much the same as mine...

…………

The two families returned to the Prime Minister's residence in low spirits, changed their clothes and washed up in low spirits, and sat down at the dining table in low spirits.

They returned late, and everyone in the Fang household had already eaten dinner.

However, when the owner comes home, the family members still have to come out to keep him company.

Fang Xuanling's first wife, Lady Lu, poured hot milk for her husband—because His Majesty had decreed that ministers over sixty years of age were "not advised" to drink alcohol—while chatting idly.

"Recently, things seem to be going poorly in the country?"

"Mmm." Old Fang hummed in a muffled voice, chewing the chicken breast like it was wax.

An awkward silence...

Mrs. Lu coughed awkwardly, then smiled and turned to her third son.

"Yize, you seem to have something on your mind lately. Has something happened at the yamen?"

"Hmm." Xiao Fang also hummed in a muffled voice, his mouth also stuffed with pale, tasteless chicken breast that looked like wax.

The atmosphere became even more awkward...

"Hehe, ah, really? Hehe..." Madam Lu was visibly embarrassed and restless.

The two brothers, Fang Yizhi and Fang Yi'ai, silently drank tea, glad that they had chosen the wrong side in the previous struggle for the throne among the four sons.

Fortunately, he was just a high-ranking official in the township, spending his days eating and waiting to die, without actually being granted any official position.

Otherwise, the blame that Fang Yize was carrying would be shifted onto their shoulders.

The pressure is immense; they have to leave early and return late, and even their meals and drinks are strictly restricted.

This is also why the Fang family doesn't wait for the two gentlemen to come home before starting dinner.

Chicken breast was a privilege reserved for high-ranking officials of the imperial court; not everyone could stomach it.

It's too cruel that we can't enjoy ourselves in front of the two gentlemen who are chewing on chicken breast.

Compared to this military-training-like life, the other two "houses" would rather be kept like pigs in a pen.

At least it's comfortable.

"I'm done eating."

Fang Xuanling and Fang Yize wiped their mouths at the same time, got up, and walked silently toward the study.

The family was left staring at each other in bewilderment.

"Judging from their expressions, the situation in the country is probably not very optimistic."

Madam Lu sighed and got up to clear the dishes.

This is the daily routine of the Fang family.

…………

The Prime Minister's study was brightly lit as usual at night.

"Yize, aren't you asleep yet, it's so late?"

Fang Xuanling, carrying a lantern, knocked on Fang Yize's door.

Fang Yize was scratching his head while looking at the thick ledger when he noticed the door was open. He turned around nonchalantly.

"Father, it's getting late, you should rest early."

"Even if you stay up all night, the money won't magically appear."

"You've even learned to answer first, kid..." Fang Xuanling's lips twitched.

"I've worked through the night for most of my life, and I know my body better than anyone else, so you don't need to worry about it."

"As for you, you should go to bed early while you're still growing."

"Haven't you heard His Majesty say that lack of sleep can stunt your growth?"

Instead of arguing with his father, Fang Yize suddenly slapped his forehead:

"I've been busy all day, and I forgot to open His Majesty's letter!"

Fang Xuanling looked at him and said:
"If His Majesty requests money in his letter, and you cannot provide it, how will you explain yourself?"

“Then I will reply to him frankly, telling him that the national treasury is facing difficulties and cannot make any changes for the time being, and asking His Majesty to wait a little longer,” Fang Yize said bluntly.

"But before that, I need to find out how much money His Majesty wants and for what purpose, so that I can make preparations in advance."

"You are truly a sincere subject..." Fang Xuanling sighed softly and silently turned his back.

"Suit yourself. Just a reminder that the funding gap in Huainan Province is estimated to take at least two months to be filled, after the autumn harvest."

After saying this, without waiting for his foolish son's reply, Fang Xuanling picked up the oil lamp again and silently left.

Looking at his father's somewhat hunched back, Fang Yize felt a mix of emotions.

Two dynasties, one China—the heavy burden bent my father's back.

But no matter how heavy the burden, someone always has to carry it.

"When soldiers come, we'll block them; when water comes, we'll dam it. Let's see what Ming is really up to."

"Perhaps he really does have some ingenious method..."

"Ha, it's more reliable if he says he's buried a lot of gold and silver treasures somewhere."

Fang Yi tried to mentally prepare himself, took a deep breath, and opened Li Ming's letter.

What exactly was recorded in this "imperial edict" that Changsun Yan casually handed to him early in the morning?

Or, to put it more bluntly.

How much money will Li Ming spend this time? What "grand plan" has he prepared? And how many hairs will Fang Yi lose?
"If he's here to ask for money, then tell him directly and try to delay it as much as possible."

"If he comes up with some new money-burning ideas, let him cool off somewhere else."

"People in Jiangnan are all submerged in water, people in Huainan are eating grass, and some places can't even get a single meal of relief food a day."

"If he continues to act willfully and recklessly, I will definitely write a memorial to him!"

Fang Yi muttered to himself, nervously tearing open the seal and unfolding the letter by the light of the lamp in the corridor.

The first sentence:
"Yize, I have a plan! A grand plan!"

hiss--!
Fang Yi took a deep breath.

If it weren't for the fact that he had spent a few years in officialdom and had already developed some self-control, he wouldn't have been able to maintain his composure.

He could tear the letter to shreds right now.

"That bastard Li Ming... he's utterly inhuman!"

"And yet I still had a tiny bit of hope for him!"

He stood in the corridor, banging his head against the wall repeatedly.

The servants in the yamen were so frightened that they dared not utter a sound.

Having finally calmed down, Fang Yi covered his swollen forehead and muttered to himself:

"Let's see what he has to say."

Since the letter has already been opened, it can't be put back in.

Fang Yize continued reading while vehemently criticizing the text.

The second sentence in the letter sent his blood pressure soaring to a new high.

"I've come up with a brilliant idea regarding the fiscal issue!"

These were all brilliant ideas and grand plans, each one hitting Fang Yize's sore spots perfectly. "It's over, it's over... What a tyrant! He's overdrawing the people's resources! He's a remnant of Qin Shi Huang and Sui Yang! The Ming Dynasty is doomed!"

Fang Yi rubbed his eyes in pain, his chest heaving violently.

He suddenly felt that everything he had done since entering politics seemed to have been in vain.

The money I finally managed to save was all taken away by His Majesty under various pretexts.

It's as if I married a gambling addict. No matter how much I sell my blood to weave cloth, my family can't save a single penny. It's like filling a bottomless pit.

"I'm definitely going to give that guy a good talking-to and let him know that accountants have tempers too!"
"The people in the south are still eating grass; the country can't afford his reckless actions!"
"Want money? Fine! But only if you step over my dead body!"

Fang Yi was fuming, but that only fueled his anger.

He wanted to see just how thick-skinned Li Ming really was, and what kind of nonsense he would spout in order to swindle money.

“‘I’ve figured out a way to immediately increase tax revenue, replenish the national treasury, and alleviate your pressure’…”

"Ha, that's the standard opening move for email scams. If you believe him, you've already lost."

"Specifically, this is a new type of tax. This tax will not cause public resentment, nor will it dampen people's enthusiasm for work; in fact, it's so subtle that most people won't even feel its presence. Yet, it can greatly expand public finances."

"Heh, what utter nonsense. Are you resorting to deception to cover up the true nature of these exorbitant taxes? What good medicine doesn't taste bitter? What policy is without its negative effects?"
“We can tax luxury goods. The tax would only fall on the luxury goods manufacturers, but it would ultimately benefit all the wealthy people who buy them. What wealthy person doesn't love gold, silver, jewels, and art? Let's collect a hefty 'stupidity tax' on them!”

"Hehehe, what a terrible idea! This is simply, simply..."

"This is fucking amazing! Wow!"

boom!
Fang Yi excitedly threw a punch, slamming it heavily against the wall.

"Ouch, that hurts... Ouch, what a brilliant plan! Ouch, that hurts..."

Fang Yi was both in pain and happy. He jogged into the office, eager to read the precious letter carefully.

But before his bottom even touched the cushion, he suddenly remembered something, sprang up as if pricked by a needle, and ran out again.

"Father and Lord Changsun are about to return to the manor. We must call them back before they leave so we can share this remarkable article!"

…………

"Old man."

The old butler, who was waiting outside the door, saw the slightly hunched figure and immediately went to greet him, albeit shakily.

Fang Xuanling reached out and weakly took his old friend's arm, letting him support him as they walked towards the carriage outside the yamen in the dim light of the courtyard.

Under the new Ming Dynasty's refined policies, horses could travel slowly through both the imperial palace and government offices, but carriages were still prohibited from entering to avoid traffic congestion.

"You said..." Fang Xuanling began softly, his voice weak, as if he were talking to himself:

"Do you think I'm getting old and useless?"

The old butler, of course, knew what his master was thinking, and quickly shook his head:

"What are you saying, my lord? His Majesty, the Ming Dynasty, and all the people of the world are counting on you!"

Fang Xuanling gently shook his head:

"But how can I respond to the expectations of the world?"
"What use am I if I can't even raise a little money, or control the flood?"

The Yellow River and the Yangtze River are going berserk together; this level of flooding is no small matter...

The two said nothing more and arrived at the main gate of the State Affairs Office.

The place was brightly lit, and the rickshaw drivers, waiting for their owners to come home from get off work, were chatting idly.

When the most important person in the yamen came out, everyone consciously shut their mouths and bowed to Minister Fang.

Fang Xuanling, unlike his lifeless demeanor in the yamen, revealed a gentle smile and nodded to the coachmen.

Just because he's usually too lazy to act doesn't mean he can't act.

As everyone made way for them, the two made their way to their car.

A figure suddenly darted out from the shadows of the carriage.

The old butler was startled.

Fang Xuanling remained calm and composed, and clasped his hands in greeting to the figure.

"Regent, what brings you here?"

Changsun Wuji emerged from the shadows and asked in a low voice:

"Is the Crown Prince still engrossed in his work?"

Fang Xuanling naturally knew what the other party really wanted to ask, and nodded:
"There are some things that I need to take care of."

Changsun Wuji couldn't help but clap his hands, stamp his feet, and sigh:

"Sigh! I already told him, why is he still... Sigh! If His Majesty is here to collect the money, how should we respond? The funds and provisions for the southern relief efforts are insufficient!"

“Regent, although that letter is not an official document, it is still His Majesty’s personal letter. Even if it cannot be considered disobeying the imperial decree, it cannot be ignored, can it?” Fang Xuanling said with a hint of helplessness.

Changsun Wuji suddenly became excited:
"It's not like we're putting the letter away; it's just delaying it for a day or two!"
"If the letter is received tomorrow, and due to busy official duties, it will be delayed another day, and I will not open and read it until the day after tomorrow. The day after that will be my day off."

"If we can delay these three days, His Majesty's requests can be implemented, but the preliminary preparations will also take time, right? Wouldn't that allow us to get past the Mid-Autumn Festival?"
"After the Mid-Autumn Festival, the weather will cool down, the autumn harvest will be over, the taxes will be collected, the south will be cool, the floods will recede, and the plague will be eradicated."

"The peak demand for funds will be conveniently avoided, so wouldn't it be wonderful to allocate funds at this time to meet His Majesty's so-called 'grand plan'?"

If we receive His Majesty's instructions, we must naturally complete them on time and with high quality; but if we do not receive them, that is another matter.

A long string of complaints, sparkling with the wisdom of an old bureaucrat.

"But now that we've received the imperial decree today... doesn't that mean we have to start preparing tomorrow and implement it before the Mid-Autumn Festival?"

"Our funding needs have clashed!"

Changsun Wuji sighed deeply, his expression conveying a sense of disappointment and frustration.

Fang Xuanling looked at him and sighed softly.

"You still don't understand His Majesty enough."

"He's very perceptive. If he knew we were secretly disobeying him, he would have pushed things through anyway..."

Ugh……

The two old ministers sighed together.

"So you were here all along?!"

A sudden shout from behind startled them both.

Turning his head, he saw it was Ji Xiang.

He was excited, as innocent as a child, completely shedding his previous somber and lethargic demeanor.

"Yize, what are you doing?" Fang Xuanling frowned without hiding his disapproval.

Changsun Wuji immediately saw the "imperial edict" in Fang Yize's hand, as if it were a death warrant, and closed his eyes:

"What imperial edict? This humble subject knows nothing of any imperial edict!"

"No, look!"

Fang Yi forcefully shoved the letter right under Changsun Wuji's nose.

He completely lost control of himself, utterly disregarding the proper etiquette towards his elders and superiors.

"His Majesty the Divine Emperor's brilliant plan! Even an 'IQ tax' is still a tax!"

"Croak, I don't want to see!" Changsun Wuji covered his eyes and resisted desperately.

Fang Xuanling didn't go to such extremes, but he found his son's attitude very strange.

From Ming Ge to that bastard Li Ming, and now His Majesty the God Emperor.

Why the sudden change from arrogance to obsequiousness?

"Let me see."

Then, Changsun Wuji heard a crisp "smack," like the sound of someone slapping someone's forehead.

"Brilliant plan! How come we didn't think of that!"
"If this approach is implemented, the national treasury will be full, the funding problem will be easily solved, and the disaster area will be safe!"

What are they talking about?
Has Your Majesty come up with some brilliant plan to solve the financial problem?
How can it be!

No matter how brilliant Your Majesty is, or how imaginative your ideas may be, can you really create something out of nothing or turn stones into gold?
Could it be that the father and son are working together to play a trick on me?

"Alas, Lord Changsun, just open your eyes and see the world!"

Fang Xuanling forcefully shoved this hot potato letter into Changsun Wuji's hands.

"I don't want to see it, I don't want to see it..." Changsun Wuji said helplessly.

But now that things have come to this, there's no point in burying your head in the sand anymore.

He glanced at it briefly.

The first thing I noticed was that profound saying:

"Even an 'IQ tax' is still a tax, and it can be used to our advantage!"

(End of this chapter)