Silver Snow Line [Criminal Investigation]

In the bright and clean ward, Lei Heng's face was illuminated by the light, still with the same "righteous" handsome look as before.

Xie Qingfei looked at him for a long time. It turned out that even when they met face to face, she could still confirm at a glance that it was him.
Lei Heng walked closer and casually placed his crutches at the end of the bed. His dangling trouser legs were blown by the wind as he walked.
Xie Qingfei looked away and pointed to the accompanying stool beside the bed: "Sit down, I can't entertain you like this now."

Lei Heng looked at her thin figure in the hospital gown and said, "Qing Fei, I'm here to turn myself in to you."

The ward fell into a long silence again. Xie Qingfei felt that the concussion from the explosion was not as hurtful as Lei Heng's words at this moment. She looked at him again and again, trying to find some traces of his hateful face, but it was probably because of the guilt that weighed on her head. No matter how many times she looked at him, he was always a good partner who had been with her side by side.

Xie Qingfei pressed his aching temple and said calmly, "Oh. Why did you turn yourself in?"
"Qin Guodong, Qin Haiyang, Kang Wenxia, ​​Zheng Yuxuan... and Deng Jinru." Lei Heng said, "I did it all. I know the police have been looking for me recently."
He sat down in front of her naturally, like every suspect who entered the interrogation room to confess.

"I have never had any ambitions since I was a child, nor did I have any heroic dreams of saving the world. Becoming a police officer was a coincidence."

After his parents divorced, Lei Heng lived with his father, who was an honest and decent man. He could not express the word "love" but showed it through actions. Therefore, although Lei Heng grew up in a single-parent family, he had everything that his peers had and entered middle school without any worries. It was his meeting with Li Mu that officially marked the beginning of his tragic life.

"My dad is very busy on the construction site and he only comes home a few times a year. I had to learn to take care of myself at a very young age. What is this called? Being sensible. Sensible children will not cause trouble to their parents. You can understand me very well in this regard."

"You said before that the murderer had been bullied by others and his life was not satisfactory afterwards. It was because he saw that the people who bullied him were living much better than him that he developed the criminal mentality. These are absolutely true. Do you want to know how Li Mu treated me?" Lei Heng said this with a faint smile on his face. "Teenagers have all kinds of ways to torture people. Group exclusion of individuals is the most childish behavior. It is not worth mentioning in my case. Physical and mental humiliation is what makes people collapse."

He seemed to be telling a story that had nothing to do with him, and his tone was very calm. Although Xie Qingfei had already guessed it, his heart still couldn't help but hang in the air when he heard it from his own mouth.

"I was afraid of every break at that time, because the ringing of the bell meant that I would suffer again. During the day, I had to go to the men's bathroom on time to 'report', and after school I went to the warehouse. Not only would they beat and scold me, they would also force me to take off my clothes and treat me... I didn't want to make my father worry, he had worked hard to support my schooling. And even if he knew, who could we fight against alone?

"I also thought about seeking justice for myself. I went to the teacher, the dean of studies, and the principal's office. At most, they just took Li Mu away for a few questions and let it go. They also told me that it was normal for classmates to fight with each other. I asked them in return, was it normal for Li Mu to force me to drink urine? Was it normal for them to put their genitals in my mouth? Were the scars on my body from cigarette burns just because of children's fighting? The principal promised to criticize and educate those people and told me not to make a big deal out of it, otherwise it would be bad for me."

"When I was young, I believed in justice, so I always comforted myself that evil will be punished, and these people will pay the price for their actions sooner or later. I studied hard so that I could stand out one day, because when that day comes, these people will definitely not be as good as me." Lei Heng said, "When I was 21 years old, I solved the first case in my life. The criminal was a college student who raped his female classmate regardless of the woman's will. I arrested him within 24 hours. When the victim's family came to thank me, I felt for the first time that my existence was valuable. I thought that I could make up for my previous regrets with this identity. I want to get back the fairness that I couldn't get for others. I want to be a good policeman."

"I thought this was a good start, but when I was handling Fang Yutong's case, I suddenly realized that certain 'social rules' would not change because of the will of a small character like me. Fang Yutong was the same age as me when I was bullied by Li Mu and others. I never understood why Li Mu was so fearless before, but after seeing Zheng Yuxuan, I understood that human lives are never equal, money and power are mountains that can never be climbed, some people can do whatever they want from birth, playing with other people's lives is just a pastime for them, and some people don't even have the qualifications to complain about their grievances because no one will listen. I also promised Fang Yutong like an idiot that I would seek justice for her, but in the end I couldn't even say sorry when I looked at her face. A beautiful girl with excellent grades was ruined just like that."

"Zheng Yuxuan is a minor. The truth is right in front of us, but the law can't do anything to him. So what can we police officers do? I couldn't protect myself when I wasn't a police officer. Now that I'm a police officer, that little girl has the same experience as me and is waiting for someone to save her, but I still can't do anything." Lei Heng smiled sarcastically, "I went to find Li Guangming, and he told me not to meddle in other people's business, saying that the case was closed and it would not be good for me to offend the Zheng family. He said these words to me in a police uniform, and these words were exactly the same as the tone of the previous principal when he warned me not to make a big deal out of it. I didn't understand it, but then I found out that Li Guangming was Li Mu's uncle, and suddenly I understood. He wore that layer of skin not to save people, but to show that he is different from us, so that he can step on our heads with justification."

"From that moment on, I didn't want to be a police officer that much. Maybe I was just a coward. I couldn't help wondering, are my efforts really worthwhile? Things always go against my wishes, and I can never find a way to solve the problem. I will never be able to get out of the shadow that Li Mu has cast on me, let alone help others. This police uniform is too heavy, and I am too insignificant."

Xie Qingfei stared into his eyes with a wooden face.
Pu Yu had told her all these things, and later Wei Cheng also said that colleagues who came to him for psychological counseling had more or less the same idea, but Xie Qingfei never thought that Lei Heng would be one of them. During the years when he was working with Lei Heng, he performed flawlessly. He was honest, optimistic, and dedicated to his duties. He didn't look like a person with a dark past. Even if he was really tired of his job, why did he have to go to a dead end?
Lei Heng sat beside the bed. Xie Qingfei was still receiving an IV drip. He adjusted the flow rate for her when he saw it was too fast. He continued, "It's actually good not to be a police officer. I'm so busy all day that I don't have time to take care of my family. I was thinking of finding a less busy job so that I can spend more time with my wife after we get married. But something like that happened."
He put his hand on his left knee, leaving nothing below the knee.

Xie Qingfei's eyes suddenly turned red. "I... really didn't want to drag her down, so I offered to cancel the engagement, but she refused. She was a silly girl. She followed a cripple like me for so many years without any status, and she couldn't be driven away. She was also the one who accompanied me when my father was sick and passed away."
Xie Qingfei said in a hoarse voice: "Your father...when was it?"
"It's been several years," Lei Heng said lightly, "after my amputation."
Xie Qingfei's heart seemed to be crumpled into a ball, and it hurt so much that he couldn't breathe.

Lei Heng didn't look at her again. He reached out and grasped the golden shadow cast by the sun on the quilt, and murmured, "Qing Fei, I prefer to believe in a way out than a dead end, so I wonder if I have been too extreme all along. I thought forcing her to leave was for her good, without considering what she wanted. Since she doesn't despise me, I have to live a good life for her, right?"
There was no warmth on his face, and Xie Qingfei didn't dare to ask for a moment.
Lei Heng seemed to understand her eyes and said, "Three years ago, I accidentally saw a novel written by Li Mu. I went to make a scene and found out that he had long forgotten who I was. I almost didn't recognize him because he was dressed in a suit and spoke in a gentle manner. He looked like a... a normal person. On the contrary, I seemed like a lunatic for holding on to it for so many years. I thought, I have died once, why am I still dwelling on the past? Suddenly I felt relieved. I want to let go of everything and start over. I want to live a good life with my wife. Later, I found a job. Although the salary is not high, it can ensure that I will not become a burden to her. She is very promising, well-educated, and capable. Later, she studied for a doctorate and was admitted to Tianning Bank."

Xie Qingfei suddenly thought of something and raised his head abruptly.

"She said that when she saw the old man standing on the rooftop, she thought of me who had just lost a leg, so she had to save him. But he was not as lucky as me and died in front of her. Qing Fei, it's not that she didn't want to save him. She was probably the one who wanted the old man to survive the most at that moment. She dreamed of his death every night and hated herself for not being able to hold him back." Lei Heng laughed as he spoke, "We have endured so much hardship, why don't good people get good rewards? Sometimes I think my life is funny, really."

"So now you know why Qin Guodong must die? Not only does he deserve to die, but his beastly son doesn't deserve to live either. Shengzhou City is so big, and I can actually meet him. Is it because God agrees with me to enforce justice, so he sent him and Zheng Yuxuan to me? I am alone and have no worries. I didn't find life interesting when I was devoting myself to others, but when these people died in front of me one by one, I felt happy for the first time! What is justice, what is fairness! I admit that my life is worthless, but can't I avenge myself? Why do I live a cowardly life while these people still have the opportunity to start over? I don't accept it!"

The real nightmare came from the bullying he suffered when he was young. At that time, Lei Heng still thought that the nightmare would pass and hope would come tomorrow. He made himself stronger in order to protect more unfavored groups, but fate was against him everywhere, breaking his spine inch by inch, letting the bloody reality tell him: Don’t you want to be a hero? Don’t you want to seek fairness and justice? But you are just a waste abandoned by fate. Look, you can’t even save yourself, what else do you want to change?
Lei Heng's eyes were red, as if he was holding back great pain. Every cry of pain from his body reminded him of how deep his hatred was. He closed his eyes tightly, his veiny hands tightly grasped the bed sheet, and said in a breathy voice: "This is my motive for murder. Is it very different from your inner inference?"
Xie Qingfei heard his own voice trembling: "What about Kang Wenxia?"
"I saw Du Manhe's Weibo in the same city, and helped her solve the problem." Lei Heng saw that she looked strange and sneered, "What's so surprising about this? Don't you know how miserable Du Manhe's life is? You sympathize with her, so naturally I feel pity for her too."
Xie Qingfei frowned briefly and said calmly, "So you kidnapped Deng Jinru because you felt sorry for me and wanted to help me out? Lei Heng, I only told you about the matter between Deng Jinru and me."
"Yes, but you have always disdained such 'small matters'. Considering our past relationship, isn't it normal for me to help you? Qingfei, I know you are in the same pain as me. As long as our enemies don't get retribution, our pain will not be reduced. You still have a future ahead of you, so it's impossible for you to do it yourself, but it doesn't matter. I don't mind. I can help..."

With a "pop" sound, Lei Heng's face turned to the side.

Xie Qingfei pulled out the needle, and blood dripped onto the bed sheet like beads. She forced herself to grab Lei Heng's collar with her weak body. Her current strength was not enough to shake him, but Lei Heng still looked up at her eyes and smiled, "Why are you angry? Don't you blame me for not being quick and decisive and not killing him before you guys got there?"
Xie Qingfei said hoarsely: "Why didn't you kill her immediately? It's like you wanted to kill the four people in front of you. What are you waiting for?"
"I just want to see how capable you are," Lei Heng spoke very slowly, as if he was appreciating her out-of-control expression, and sneered, "Do you think I really don't hate you?"

He forced her hand to touch his leg. The cut part had long since grown back, but the smooth and round touch was very strange. Xie Qingfei almost immediately curled up her fingers to shrink them, but Lei Heng kept pressing her down: "Do you want to know what it feels like to lose a leg? Anyone can call you a cripple, and even a child can easily push you down. You can't stand up, and can only crawl on the ground like a bug. Every day, every day you will suffer from phantom limb pain! And I'm only one-third of my life, and I have to spend the next few decades like this without dignity. Can you understand these feelings?"

Lei Heng held her hand tightly. The blood gushing out of the needle hole that had never been pressed flowed onto his pants. He roared in a low voice: "Can you?!"

"me……"
"Your life is more valuable than mine, and you are a better police officer than me. You won't retreat like me when faced with trouble. I really want to see with my own eyes whether you can still be fair when facing your enemies." Lei Heng said softly, "Qing Fei, when you saved her and saw that she was still alive, do you regret it?"

Xie Qingfei knelt on the bed helplessly, the white sheets were covered in blood, Lei Heng's broken limbs were also in tatters, and the scarlet vision seemed to bring her back to the day of the explosion. She remembered that it was Lei Heng who pushed her at the last moment, otherwise the floor would have hit her head directly. He hated her for what she deserved, because his kindness at the last moment did not bring him good rewards.
Lei Heng must also want to live.
He had a father to take care of and a wife he was about to marry, so he should have had a happy future. Without that accident, he would not have reached this point.

After a while, Xie Qingfei said softly: "You said so much just to irritate me and make me send someone to arrest you."
Lei Heng laughed in anger: "Why, do you feel sorry for me and want to cover up for me?"
"Lei Heng," Xie Qingfei wiped the blood off the back of his hand and looked up at him, "I won't be fooled by you a second time."

"You are not the real murderer in this case."

(End of this chapter)