rose ashes

"The first day I met Bryce Loski, my heart was moved. There was a magic in his eyes that made me intoxicated."
……
“Sometimes, forbearance at the beginning can avoid pain along the way.”

In the dim and ambiguous underground audio-visual room, the rich aroma of red wine wafts in the air, and the light spots between the glass and the screen are burning vaguely and hesitantly.

Luo Yang watched the movie playing in front of him with a dazed look in his eyes. It was a love story between two young boys and girls, but as a bystander, Luo Yang couldn't see the whole story clearly.

She seemed to have become Julie Baker. The red wine in the glass quickly ran out. Luo Yang just casually poured out a little more from the decanter. The dark red liquid slid down the wall of the glass, smoothly and beautifully.

Indeed, the initial forbearance could avoid pain along the way, because that kind of pain had long become an indispensable part of her body, and even if it disappeared one day, she would feel ridiculously uncomfortable.

The movie was still going on. Luo Yang, in a tangle of thoughts and under the influence of alcohol, lay down on the sofa in a daze, hugging the pillow.

Her alcohol tolerance is not bad, but she has been sober for many years and her alcohol tolerance level is still not as good as it was at its peak. She needs time to recover from this break.

It was just a rare opportunity for her to indulge herself. Tomorrow was her wedding, so she wanted to vent her emotions in this way. She didn't dare let anyone know, and could only choose the audio-visual room, which was not suitable for exposure to light, in the dead of night to avoid her emotions that were about to burst out.

The hands holding the pillow tightened little by little and refused to let go. The movie was coming to an end in loneliness. Bryce Loski and Julie Baker planted a small tree together, and the closeness of the two hearts ended the whole movie.
He stood there all summer, and Julie Baker finally became his rainbow.

The movie ended and the theater fell into complete darkness. The word "END" stayed on the screen for a moment and finally disappeared.

A youth has come to an end, but some people's youth has long been lost.

I don’t know how many times he turned over, but Luo Yang showed no sign of waking up.

Ye Gu, who had just rushed back from another place, dragged his tired body to the villa. He took a long breath, closed his eyes, frowned, and stretched out his hand to hook his fingers in the air.
"Where's my milk tea?"

Liu Min handed the cup over, and only less than half of the cup was left.

Ye Gu drank it all in one gulp, feeling so tired as if all his energy for the day had been used up. He opened his eyes and slowly regained consciousness.

"Mr. Ye, we're home. You can get off now."

Ye Gu looked at the window where all the lights were off. His eyes were deep and the corners of his eyes were naturally red. When he took off the glasses he wore during work, his facial features lost some of their sharpness. His slightly cute protruding ears even made him less frightening.

After a long pause, the car door opened and he turned around to hand the two boxes to Liu Min.
"Keep it safe. I'll find you if anything goes wrong. Got it?"

Liu Min was naturally cautious when he was ordered to do so. "Yes, Mr. Ye, you should go to bed early today. I will pick you up early tomorrow morning."

Ye Gu nodded silently and disappeared into the door.

It was already very late and the aunt at home had already gone to bed. The only thing left was the quiet moonlit living room, which was empty and it seemed as if he was the only one left in the whole world.

Ye Gu looked up at the bedroom on the second floor. There was no light at all through the crack in the door. His brows furrowed. Without time to think, he quickly went upstairs.
He opened the door in one smooth motion, but she was not seen in the room.

Looking at the night light on the table that was not turned on, I felt panicked.

He searched the huge villa but couldn't get through on the phone.
As I quickly walked around the corner and saw the stairs leading to the second floor below ground, the lights were on.

/ / /
My heart, which was hanging in the air, finally settled down when I saw the figure sleeping soundly on the sofa in the audio-visual room.

He walked over slowly and with all his strength, and saw the opened red wine and decanter on the table, as well as the highball glass with faint lip marks.
His brows slowly wrinkled, but the person on the sofa was completely unaware of it. Instead, he knew to find a comfortable sleeping position for himself. He turned over, curled up into a ball with his head resting on the pillow and his arms folded facing outward.

The long jet-black hair fell like a waterfall over the edge of the sofa.

Ye Gu half-knelt beside the sofa, watching her breathing evenly, the rise and fall of her hair before her nose, which was unexpectedly cute.

He stretched out his hand to touch her eyelashes that were casting a beautiful shadow on her eyelids, but when they were just a few inches away, the forward movement of his fingertips suddenly stopped.
The index finger slowly curled up, and there was an unconcealable ripple in the eyes.

It's strange that Luo Yang doesn't seem to like wearing makeup, but that doesn't stop her from having a special liking for the lipstick ritual. Even if she's drinking alone in the audio-visual room, she'll put on lipstick in advance. Just like now, there are still lipstick marks on the corners of her lips from being scratched by drinking.

The trace of slight redness covered the straight curve at the end of the lips. Ye Gu's gaze stayed there for a long time, the soft touch——
Ye Gu realized the scene in his mind belatedly and stepped back violently, bumping his head against the coffee table. His back made a dull sound. He endured the pain and sat down on the carpet, leaning against the coffee table in a frustrated manner, looking at the person on the sofa.

As soon as she closed her eyes, all his thoughts had no place to hide, just like the stars in the sky, which appeared sporadically when the sun set.

Ye Gu lowered his eyes and looked at the complicated lines on his hands, feeling depressed.

/ / /
After carrying Luo Yang back to the room and settling him down, Ye Gu returned to the study.

Recently, work tasks have come one after another, and Ye Gu has no chance to breathe. He goes out early and comes back late every day. The agreement with Li Yan is about to expire.

I just handed over everything today and finally got to breathe a sigh of relief.

Ye Gu stared at the photos on his phone for a long time, until an event reminder popped up, pulling him out of his confused thoughts.

After deleting the reminder, Ye Gu left the chair and gently pushed the bookshelf, revealing a darkroom. Xi Jinzhou had once teased him without hesitation, saying, "Do you know why you have to have a room like this no matter where you live? Because you have too many secrets that you don't want others to know."
It’s like the ninth room, which contains secrets that cannot be expressed or told.

He guarded them carefully and took pride in those secrets.

But Xi Jinzhou was always able to ruthlessly break his fantasy and pointedly mock his impracticality. He always said: "No one can hold on to the few remaining memories and live forever in the world of Java in the past."

Ye Gu understood the logic behind this, and he also knew that what Xi Jinzhou said was correct, but he was just too stubborn to escape from the past subconsciously.

The light in the darkroom is a warm yellow light, dim but enough to illuminate this small space.

The faded □□\Bear on the table always had a happy expression. Ye Gu sometimes couldn't understand it. Even honey would be eaten up one day, so who could be happy forever?

But on his birthday that year, when he heard Luo Yang's blessing, he naively hoped that he could realize that wish, and also hoped that the person who blessed him would also be blessed by God.

But reality always likes to play pranks on people. It will never give you what you want. It will only give you endless troubles and pain that need to be solved.

"So you were lying to me, right..." The whispering voice was only audible to him in the narrow space.
He just looked at his idol like a fool, expecting an answer that would never come.

□□, The bear just held his honey pot. He didn't know what to do if he was unhappy.

My sight slowly shifted to the glass sugar jar that had been on the table for a long time. The colorful reflective candy wrappers inside were sparkling, which always made people happy.

The diamond-shaped, twisted glass surface of the sugar jar reflects the warm yellow light, which is scattered on the wall casually.

The jar was filled with origami cranes, mostly blue, with some in tender pink. The craftsmanship did not look that skilled, and there were even many deep and shallow creases on the cranes' wings.

Ye Gu slowly opened the sugar jar, and the sweet smell lingered around him, touching his heart.

--March
There was a light rain with apricot blossoms, but it was a rare good day on the 12th. The humid air was filled with the scent of spring and slowly dissipated the moment the sun ignited the horizon.

The figure in the princess dress quietly climbing up appeared on the wall next door, but her foot accidentally slipped. When she looked up, her exquisite and flawless hair that was tied up in the morning had already made close contact with the ground, and her diamond crown fell into the grass.

The little girl was stunned for a moment, and then slowly, belatedly, she felt the pain in her body. Her delayed cry, like raindrops, rang out in the yard.

She didn't know why she was crying, but she just felt wronged. Her mother told her not to feel wronged, so she couldn't help but shed tears. This was a manifestation of her belief in her mother's words.

It was not until that day that Ye Gu discovered that Luo Yang could climb walls, but it was obviously too late when he went out. Luo Yang had already paid the price for climbing the wall and fell into his yard, with her makeup and hair in disarray.

He didn't know why girls always liked to cry so much, but Luo Yang looked so beautiful when she cried, more beautiful than other little girls. She didn't have a runny nose, just tears, and even her tears were sparkling.
Ye Gu thought, she must be a fairy from heaven, because fairies on TV look so beautiful when they cry.

Seeing how beautiful she looked even when she cried, he reluctantly gave her his favorite marshmallow.

He reached out and handed the strawberry-flavored marshmallow that his mother had just given him to Luo Yang, who was just crying.

He knelt on one knee and said, "Don't cry. I'll give you some candy. Although you look pretty when you cry, you'll get tired if you cry for too long. If you eat the candy, you won't cry anymore. Eat it."

Luo Yang suddenly stopped crying, looked up at Ye Gu, who was in the sun, and reached out to her.

The marshmallows were very sweet and greasy, but she seemed to have her brain controlled by saccharin and actually found them delicious, better than many candies she had eaten.

Six-year-old Ye Gu didn't know why Luo Yang climbed the wall and wanted to ask her, but Luo Yang ignored him and even looked a little angry. She patted the hem of her princess skirt, stood up, and walked away arrogantly, saying to him: "Don't tell anyone about what happened today, or I will steal all your candies from now on!"

Ye Gu likes Tian, ​​and Luo Yang threatens him.

Luo Yang was proud that today was the proof of her growing up, as if she was going to celebrate her seventh birthday. She was going to be older than Ye Gu. She was a mature adult, and Ye Gu was just a little kid in her eyes.

Ye Gu stood behind her, not understanding what she meant. He just scratched his head, picked up the crown from the grass where she had dropped it, and put it carefully into his pocket. She must not like a dirty crown, so he helped her wipe it clean and put it on her.

Little Ye Gu dug out a sealed candy jar from a tree next to where Luo Yang fell. Inside was colorful, shiny candies and a thousand paper cranes folded like frogs.

He was lying on the ground, with mud on his little face, and he wrote crookedly with a blue oil pastel on the pink paper stuck on the candy jar - Happy birthday to the little fairy Ah He!
He left too quickly, otherwise he could have given Luo Yang this jar of candy that he had saved for a long time. But it doesn't matter, he can wait until her next birthday to give her better candy.

Ye Gu tapped the tabletop with his knuckles, his eyes fixed on the blurry colors in the glass jar.

A message from Xi Jinzhou came on the phone: Have the candies been delivered?
Ye Gu did not reply, but just let the message sink to the bottom as the screen went off.

No, the candies that should have been given away when I was six years old have not been given away yet.

(End of this chapter)