rose ashes

Luo Yang stood by the wall, glancing at the people around her with resentment. If it weren't for him, she wouldn't have been punished by her grandfather to stand.

Ye Gu sat down leisurely on the stone bench in the yard, watching Luo Yang glaring at him leisurely, and he was surprisingly in a good mood.

Ye Gu's arrival brought laughter to the family. Although grandma was in poor health, she was willing to go out for a walk.

"You came to my house to celebrate the New Year. Didn't my aunt say anything?" Luo Yang put his hands behind his back and jumped forward on the squares on the ground.
Ye Gu shrugged. Ms. Li Yan disliked him very much. Knowing that he wanted to come to Luo Yang's grandmother's house, she helped him pack up all his things and threw them out the day before.

Luo Yang chuckled. Li Yan was still as unique as ever.

Auspicious snow means a good harvest. This winter the snow was soft and continuous, not heavy. Luo Jiancheng did not come back to celebrate the New Year due to work reasons.
This was the most relaxing and stress-free year for Luo Yang.

In the second half of the first year of high school, because we started to consider the issue of subject division, under the supervision of Guangmingding, everyone devoted themselves to study. Ye Gu, who had always been casual, also became serious.

When Luo Yang was choosing her major in her second year of high school, she unexpectedly chose science, which was something no one expected. When asked why, she was just vague and never gave a definite answer.

At that time, Luo Yang had only one goal, which was to be admitted to the psychology major.
As for the reason, I have never told anyone.

The calendar pages were torn off one by one, slowly returning from the end of winter to the beginning of summer, from cotton-padded jackets to short sleeves again, Luo Yang was still sitting at the same table with Ye Gu, and the homeroom teacher had changed from Guangmingding to the former math teacher, but Guangmingding was still their teacher.

Everyone knows that this is an incomparable stage in their lives. Right and wrong are determined by others, success or failure depends on themselves, and no one can make any decision for them.

/ / /
It was school time as usual that day, but it was the second semester of the second year of high school, and most people chose to attend the school's evening self-study class, which was a good opportunity to reduce the time they would meet Luo Jiancheng. Why not? Luo Yang naturally signed up.

At 9:30 in the evening, Luo Yang saw Ye Gu at the school gate and was a little surprised.

"Why are you here?"

Ye Gu stuffed the lunch box in his hand into her hand and said casually: "My mother made this for you. Let me bring it to you."

Luo Yang looked at the crooked salad dressing in the lunch box and responded meaningfully.
Such a crude trick can be seen through at a glance.

It seemed like it had been a long time since the two of them went home together. Ye Gu did not attend the evening self-study class. The street lights had already been lit up, illuminating the road under their feet.

Luo Yang bit into the sandwich, and the lettuce in his mouth was particularly crisp and juicy.

Ye Gu hesitated and wanted to say something but finally swallowed it all back. When he passed the station, he unexpectedly saw Xi Jinzhou and Bian Yao standing there.

"Why are you here too?"

Xi Jinzhou raised his chin and looked at Ye Gu. Bian Yao was always quick to speak, "You were dragged here by the young master—"
He was silenced by Ye Gu's glare.

Xi Jinzhou quietly approached Ye Gu and whispered, "Did you send it out?"
Ye Gu shuddered, glared at him, and made a gesture to keep quiet.

Xi Jinzhou understood and it seemed that Ye Gu had not accomplished anything just now.

When the three people were whispering in the back, Luo Yang suddenly turned around and Ye Gu was so scared that he hurriedly hid the things in his hand behind his back.
He smiled awkwardly and asked, "What, what happened?"

Luo Yang's eyes were bright and twinkling like stars. "Ye Gu, do you have anything you want to say to me?"
For a moment, Ye Gu had the illusion that he had been seen through, but soon, he dismissed this ridiculous idea without hesitation.

He never told her, so she wouldn't know. It must be because she was too nervous.

But Luo Yang's long gaze made him feel uneasy, and an indescribable feeling was running through his chest.

He hid the thought that was about to come out of his mind the next moment, pretending to be calm, "Just... remember to be happy, right."
Bian Yao and Xi Jinzhou glanced at Ye Gu as if he was a fool, and nodded perfunctorily: "Ah, yes, yes, just be happy!"

The slowly burning flame in her heart was gradually extinguished by the darkness. She was able to hide her emotions well and regain her usual smile.
She smiled and responded, "Okay, I'll be happy if you can."

That night, Luo Yang stayed awake all night, tossing and turning. In the second half of the night, he got up and stood in front of the window looking at the moon for a long time. He didn't see Yang Yue and just felt hopeless.
Luo Yang was not brave. She had always known that. Today she mustered up the courage to go all out. She thought, maybe the two of them could each take fifty steps. Or maybe she was not straightforward enough and Ye Gu did not understand what she meant. She could not blame anyone. Perhaps, she was destined not to stay here now.

She even thought that if Ye Gu only said one of these words, she would agree and she would not leave.

But not a single word was related to what she wanted to hear. She was not disappointed. She touched the smooth window sill with her hand, and a breeze lifted the locks of hair on her temples.
Perhaps, now is not the right time, or maybe, they are not destined to be together. Every day after that, Ye Gu would still deliver lunch boxes to Luo Yang on the orders of his mother, and Luo Yang would accept them with gratitude as always.
It seemed as if nothing had changed, yet one could sense imperceptible changes. Everyone remained silent tacitly, and no one broke the window paper, as if nothing would change as long as it was not said.

But in fact, everyone knows that nothing in this world will not change, and no one will stop or wait for anyone.

One week before the college entrance examination, the school held another mobilization meeting. This time, the whole school gathered most neatly. No one was absent. In the large venue, everyone was dressed appropriately, and passionate and indignant oaths were heard from the microphone.

Before I know it, even the oath began to sound nostalgic and pleasant to the ear.
Maybe it’s when you know that one day you will have to part ways, or maybe it’s when you understand that the next step is to move towards adulthood.

The intertwined and complicated emotions compose the final tune of youth.

"Three years have passed in the blink of an eye, and everything is blooming so brightly in my heart.
Now the countdown is only a few days away, the paper at my feet
There is no time to pick it up, as if it is about to break through the cocoon of pressure
After leaving school, everyone stayed up late again, and the dark circles under their eyes in the morning
The little sleepiness in class, day after day
I just want to hold on to the passing years and say goodbye properly
Regretfully, thanksgiving cannot bring me back to yesterday, I just want to remember this moment
......"

The radio was playing the lyrics that he had memorized by heart. Luo Yang's gaze wandered and suddenly met someone's eyes.
A smile between us is louder than words.

After the mobilization meeting, the final sprint before the college entrance examination is just around the corner. Everyone is ready to try out all the efforts they have made over the years for this battle.
The dawn is always there, but the distance is unknown.

Ye Gu was in the study room, looking at the blue envelope on the table. He was silent for a long time, with mixed feelings.

The three words "To Ahe" on the envelope are vigorous and powerful, and the dot at the end is filled with dark ink, leaving a deep imprint that seems to pierce people's hearts.

Xi Jinzhou was right. He was not good at speaking, let alone expressing his feelings, but if it could keep her, he was willing to use his weakest weakness to keep her.

On the last night before the college entrance examination, the moon shines particularly brightly, perhaps silently blessing tomorrow's candidates with success.
Luo Yang took a marker and drew a red circle on the date on the calendar after filling in the college entrance examination application form.

/ / /
As if it was agreed, it always rains before the exam, just like the answers written in Chinese class, rendering the atmosphere sad and the reluctance before parting, and portraying the characters.

"Have you read the essay topic?"
"I've seen it! I've written it all down!" The girl next to him cleared her throat and emphasized, "People chase fashion not because it suits them, but because everyone does it."

Luo Yang took his things from the door, and the sound of everyone's discussion was heard in his ears.

It's always like this, right?
She suddenly remembered Mr. Lu Xun's words and felt deeply moved.

Although the topic was mainly about "taste of fashion", the passage in the material made Luo Yang seem to wake up from a dream.

She didn't want to chase after anyone, nor did she want to depend on a place she hated. She wanted the truth, the truth for Yang Yue, and she also wanted independence.
She should be firm in her thoughts and decisions.

In order to prevent students from having disagreements on answers that would affect their mentality for the next exam, Guangmingding patrolled the classroom constantly, asking them to give up one exam at a time and prepare for the next one with all their heart.

Tensions grew in the hot and stuffy air like mushrooms after a rain, but everyone relied on willpower to maintain a balanced state, and no one had any problems during the exam due to pressure.

Ye Gu is not good at liberal arts, but science has always been his forte, especially mathematics.

He looked at Luo Yang who was still reading beside him, and after a long while he just uttered: "Come on."

Luo Yang reacted, curled the corners of his lips slightly, and nodded, "Don't worry." She knew what he was worried about. Mathematics was not Luo Yang's strong point, and Ye Gu had always known it.

The college entrance examination is neither fast nor slow. On the 9th, the weather was exceptionally bright. Students filed out of the school, and what awaited them were greetings and hugs from their parents. There were sighs of relief, reluctance to leave, and the release of long-suppressed emotions.

All the emotions burst out in an instant, colorful, painful, happy, youthful, and summery.

Luo Yang stood at the door, looking at the door behind him that was so familiar. Three years had passed in a flash, and the word "youth" was enough to encompass it all.

What is youth?
It was as if this question had never been asked before. Ye Gu, who had left the classroom long ago, stretched out his hand and waved to her when he saw her. Luo Yang stood at the door, looking at his smile, watching him waiting for her to walk towards him.

In the sunshine, she smiled, a smile that came from the heart.

She thought that youth might be the first step towards leaving. When she decided to leave without saying goodbye, her youth was marked with the mark of an end, and the grand curtain fell.

(End of this chapter)