The Curse Master's Persecution Guide

Extra 2: About the Past
Kamishiro Ying is a person who is born with knowledge.
When she was very young, she briefly showed her wisdom. (Of course, in the end, for various reasons, she chose to hide herself.)
But this does not mean that she is gifted, it just means that she has more than 20 years more time than ordinary people.

Yes, she is a person who has retained the memories of her previous life.
But her past life was really unremarkable. She spent most of her time lying in bed. Her parents would not come to see her because they had already given birth to a healthy baby. Now they can renew her hospital bills, which makes them good parents. After all, with a disease like hers, who knows when she will leave this world?
Rather than facing the heart-wrenching pain that may come, it is better not to enter into a relationship in the first place.
That's their choice.

Intellectually, Shen Daiying could fully understand such a choice. But emotionally, she was still confused about it.
It's obviously meaningless and unnecessary.
If it is so painful, why should she live?
This thought suddenly crossed Shen Daiying's mind one morning when she opened her eyes and looked at the white ceiling, the empty room, and the empty grass outside the window.
——She wants to die.

But suicide is hardly an option.
Jumping off a building would leave her body in pieces, but she wanted to leave an intact body. Sinking into a pond would create a giant figure, but at least she wanted to keep a little beauty when she died. According to the methods in movies and TV dramas, the safest way should be to take sleeping pills to commit suicide. But she had been hospitalized for a long time and had no way to get such drugs.
Then Shen Daiying suddenly realized that choosing to die was not an easy thing.

She despised herself for being a coward.
Because she had never considered cutting her wrists or stabbing her chest with a fruit knife - because she was afraid of pain, and she was also afraid that she would regret the process, and this painful process with the blood slowly flowing was the room for her to regret - so she felt that she was incompetent and would not be able to make up her mind, and she would definitely choose to survive on the road to death.

She always lay in bed, and due to lack of entertainment, the most common thing she did was to fantasize.
Because the disease department restricted her from having overly intense emotions, the extracurricular readings she read and the television programs she watched were actually screened by the hospital.
Most of them are lighthearted comedies, with occasional non-tortuous and non-scary mystery. The only shock was probably the Harry Potter that was missed by the censors, which made her fantasize about expelliarmus in bed in the middle of the night.
But her fragile body immediately issued a warning, and her secret visit to Hogwarts was discovered.

For a long time after that, the content of her TV was replaced by In the Garden Babies and Teletubbies. Every day when she opened her eyes and closed her eyes, she saw Musidisi and Makkabaka.

Perhaps because she watched it too much and the plot was too bland, Kamishiro Ying would always fantasize that if she were in the drama, she would definitely be a crazy and mischievous bad kid.

At this time, it was difficult for her to get out of bed.
The end of her life was as visible to the naked eye as the withered yellow leaves swaying outside the window.
Chemotherapy caused her hair to fall out in clumps, and she actually regretted not making the decision earlier. She has delayed it until now and has missed her wish to "die in the best possible way."

Day after day of hazy fantasies, intertwined with the pain brought by treatment.

Then one morning when she opened her eyes, she found herself transformed into Kamishiro Ying.
A babbling child.
Her parents were ordinary sorcerers, not very powerful or special. The only thing worth mentioning was that they died in a meaningful way.

The day that Shen Daiying opened her eyes could be considered the anniversary of their death.
The original body probably couldn't bear such emotions so she collapsed - her parents died while saving her, but Kamishiro Ying survived.
Did she really survive?
Ying asked herself this in a trance.

One thing was obvious: she had no sense of reality in the world.
This is a world completely different from the one she was used to, with sorcerers who were different from ordinary people.
They fought against the cursed spirits.
They are like the students of Hogwarts, saving the Muggles who know nothing about the darkness of this world.
Like a savior.

Shen Daiying went with the flow and grew up step by step.
But she was very clear that the problem that had been distorting her heart since she lay on the hospital bed had never been resolved by her.
——Why is she alive?

*
Kamishiro Ying realized that she might be very strong when she went on her second mission.
The one who led her at that time was a senior who repeatedly emphasized to her afterwards that she must not reveal that she was her guide. They went to a villa in the wilderness together, and that day they met a curse master who came for a mission, and the other party's target was also the curse spirit they wanted.
Humans can be difficult to deal with sometimes simply because they are better at using traps.

They were ambushed without any surprise.
The senior was seriously injured.
In such chaos, Ying's only thought was that she didn't want to die in such an unclear way.
Persistence, pain, confusion, hesitation.
Then she underwent a transformation in her abilities.
She has become the current Kamishiro Ying.

*
Perhaps because of the loss of control of her abilities when she first awakened, Kamishiro Ying failed to control herself and accidentally killed the curser.
Because the senior sister was seriously injured and was admitted to the ward after returning to the city, it was natural that she completely forgot about the aftereffects of murder that a novice sorcerer might encounter.
The senior probably never thought that someone with a bad personality like her would have such troubles - and the Kamishiro family didn't have such considerate psychological treatment.

So Ying naturally had a nightmare.

That's weird.
She was the one who wanted to die, but she took someone else's life so easily. Death was such a simple thing, she could do it herself - then what was she hesitating about? What was she hesitating about? What was she struggling about?
She couldn't understand.

It was at that time that Kamishiro Ying fell into a psychological imbalance. She became a witch who found fun in others. The intense emotions of others were a positive feedback to her because she received a [response].
This is undoubtedly a distortion.
No one will understand her thoughts, because even she herself can't figure out what she wants.

*
Maybe it was because she was trapped in a hospital bed for too long in her previous life, Shen Daiying still often dreams of the days when she was trapped in the room. When she wakes up, she always loses track of the time and place.
Time travel is a very non-materialistic thing. Even now, Ying has not been able to find out why she has become the Ying she is now.

This kind of thing is terrifying.

Because she couldn't be sure whether everything now was just a long and beautiful dream, and when she woke up one morning, she would be back under the white ceiling, with death following her like a shadow.

So Kamishiro Ying wanted to leave something behind.
Be it a bad reputation or a reckless way of doing things.
This is all because Kamishiro Ying can't see her own future.

Shen Daiying never woke up.
In a sense, she had never left that small place.

(End of this chapter)